Posted by Ilana Angel
*Typos are generaously sponsored by Grey Goose.
We start this week at Brandi’s with a panty shot, which was not necessary and Bravo sleaze. Brandi is visiting with her friend Jennifer and saying she used her boyfriend to get a house. It was a play on words, but she is on and off with him. Jennifer doesn’t think JR is the right person for Brandi, and Brandi wants to end it nicely. She goes back and forth about what she needs him for, and the attempt at humor is not working.
Brandi gets in the bath, we see her naked, and I wonder if this is the best choice for. Over to Joyce, we find out she created the “Queen of the Universe” pageant. Oy Vey. She is beautiful and speaks of moving to Beverly Hills with nothing but a reservation. Really? She checked into The Beverly Wilshire so trust me, she had money. We meet her two young sons and they are yummy. Her husband is apparently the best lover. Ugh.
Over to Carlton’s, she is moving furniture with her nanny Lizzy, a very pretty girl, but completely inappropriate in terms of how she speaks with her employer. In my opinion. Carlton’s home is gothic. She has invited all the women over for lunch to get to know them better. She is not a fan of Kyle’s. Welcome to the club. By the club of course I mean everyone who watches this show. I like her and perhaps the Nanny will grow on me. Or not.
At Yolanda’s house she is out of the hospital and has a nurse over for a home visit. Gigi is with her and eating, while her mom watches her like a hawk. It’s strange. Watching Yolanda struggle with illness is very touching. She is brave to share it on camera. Gigi is heading to college and Yolanda is proud but will miss her. Yolanda spends a lot of time comparing herself to Gigi, which makes me uncomfortable. She needs to let her stand alone.
Brandi is at lunch with JR and they have an awkward double kiss. Brandi then has the “talk” with JR. Really? On camera? Lame. Brandi tells him she wants him in her life but the relationship is over. She then calls him out for doing shady things. Brandi says she is F’d up from her divorce and has trust issues. We are instantly reminded of why we love her. She is real, makes the same mistakes we all make, only we get to see her's on camera.
Jumping to Lisa, she is still not feeling well after her fainting, and says she wouldn’t be sad if she were voted off DWTS. This is a load of crap. Sshe wanted out because she knew she was never going to win and wanted to save face by going out with illness. Whatever. She was eliminated and even if she hadn’t fainted she would have been gone. Something is not kosher in her recollection but who cares? She got voted off and life goes on.
Lunch is on at Carlton’s. Kyle’s dress is hideous and her sense of fashion is up her ass. Kim, Brandi, and Joyce all drive together so they can have a scripted moment. The nanny and another girlfriend are serving lunch, which is just strange. Hire a waitress. Yolanda arrives and looks fab. Shame about the hair. Carlton makes a joke about kissing her son and wanting tongue. I freaking LOVE this chick. She may be the most authentic housewife.
Back in the limo, Kyle is talking about her dog’s diarrhea, then moves onto Lisa fake fainting on DWTS. Kyle is just mean to the core. I am over talking about Lisa on DWTS and the women making fun of it is stupid. They arrive to lunch and everyone fake kisses and settles in. Yolanda and Kyle do not like each other. Probably because Kyle is a vindictive and skanky bitch. Kyle asks Carlton if she is Catholic, based on the crosses, and I want to smack her.
Lisa arrives and Kyle kisses her as if she didn’t talk shit about her forever. Dumbass. Kim and Kyle are making fun of Carlton’s house. Bitches. Brandi tells Lisa that Kyle said she fake fainted. Lisa is offended, Brandi backpedals and says they were joking. Kyle, Joyce and Kim join and deny they said Lisa was faking. Kyle is an idiot. Brandi says she feels bad for talking bad of Lisa as it was bitchy. Yes it was but Brandi needs to pick a side.
Kyle asks Carlton about witchcraft and I am laughing at Kyle because she truly is idiotic. Carlton has Kyle’s number and I hope she rips her a new one this season. I want to be friends with Carlton. Lisa says there are witches in the group but Carlton is not one of them. Bam! Carlton gives them a tour of the house and her bed is the single greatest thing I have ever seen. Freaking awesome. I’m over people talking about her house and witches. Boring.
Everyone comments on the hot Nanny and Kyle changes the subject, probably because Mauricio bangs a lot of nannies. Brandi uses the C word in conversation. Oy vey. I am not offended by that word, but using it at lunch is for shock factor. Everyone jumps on Brandi for using it and Yolanda reminds the ladies they are not Brandi’s mother. Sidebar: I am completely grossed out by how Kyle continuously picks her teeth with her tongue. Disgusting.
The women are now talking about their vaginas and penis size. For the love of God. I’m done. People want to get to know Carlton, but Brandi asks Kyle about Mauricio cheating. Kyle is pissed off and I love that someone is willing to call Kyle out because she has no problem calling other people out. Yolanda points out that the tabloids are usually providing some truth. Amen. The entire season will be about Kyle defending her marriage, then we will see pictures of Mauricio with his mistres and it will be sad. Nobody wishes that on another woman. Ever.
Kyle says she and Mauricio are in love and liars can suck it. They are solid and nothing will tear them apart. She cries to the camera in her interview and it is lame. Next week looks like it will get nasty. I can deal with nasty and mean, because women are, but I will check out if this show gets dark. It will be sad if Beverly Hills takes a turn for New Jersey. They better get a grip and start paying attention. It is my favorite group so they better keep it real.
12.7.13 at 8:49 am | What the hell is Bravo giving us?
12.7.13 at 7:29 am | I'm not going to lie, these women and the men. . .
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire.
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television.
12.2.13 at 7:12 am | I was bored with all the jumping around.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . .
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . . (4424)
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire. (4378)
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television. (3680)
November 17, 2013 | 6:08 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
We are back with the ladies of the South and start with Kandi, who is in her new office. I have a hit and miss reaction to Kandi, liking her sometimes and just not getting her others. In the end I feel bad for her because the woman cannot catch a break when it comes to love. She lacks support from her mom and has the challenge of finding a man who is not interested in her money.
She is meeting with her manager Don Juan and they are talking business. Her new studio space is gorgeous. She tells Don about the problems she is having with her mother and Todd. Don then tells Kandi he has the same concerns as her mom and it pisses me off. This man has worked with her forever and he is worried about what will happen to his piece of Kandi pie.
Kandi is now defending herself to people who work for her and are supposed to support her. It is very sad. Nobody in her life seems concerned with her happiness as much as they are with their paychecks. Don tries to backpedal and say he wants her to be happy but come on, bullshit. I am not a superfan of Todd, but she is a grown up and people need to get on board.
Over to Nene, seh is acting out a little skit about cleaning the house and it is lame. Nene takes a shot at Cordell, which is mean, but considering he is a douchelord, good for her. Her manager calls and lets her know her work on Glee is delayed due to the death of Cory Monteith. She is annoyed but does not mention anything about his death, which is gross and just not nice.
Moving over to Cynthia, she is at the hospital for her fibroid surgery. She says the surgery is simple but there is always room for "era". I believe she meant error. She got the beauty gift not the brains gift. Bless her. Cynthia is nervous and tells Peter he should leave and come back, but he tells her is not leaving. Good move. She is in surgery and even I am a little nervous.
Cut to Porsha, she is moved in with her mom and clearly going to milk the hell out of her divorce as a storyline. She is taking advantage of her mom, her dogs are delicious, her sister is lovely, and this divorce thing could get real boring, real fast. The movers arrive with the boxes Cordell has packed up for her. All she got to take from their house was her clothes.
Porsha makes another jab implying Cordell is gay. I don't care if he is, but she needs to stop. Some of her things are damaged and she is mad. By mad of course I mean she goes off again about Cordell being gay, or a “queen” as she describes him. She is allowed to be mad and hurt, but she is heading to Bitterville and people will turn on her quick so she needs to be careful.
Jumping to Crazy, she is talking smack about her landlord. Kenya is all kinds of crazy. Perfect reality television crazy. She is twerking, singing, and making a fool of herself while managing to be quite charming. Then as quick as I think she is cute, we are reminded she is delusional. Think what we want about this chick, she is brilliant TV and I am glad they brought her back.
We go over to Phaedra’s house and she is having family portraits done with the new baby. Aiden is perfection, Apollo is clearly over his wife, Phaedra is a hot mess, and the best thing she is doing for herself is using her kids to distract us from what a nut job she is. Cut to Apollo and Phaedra having a fight about the pictures and her being selfish. Not looking good people.
The baby is crying and rather than get off his ass and help, Apollo sits there while the hairdresser gets a bottle ready. Watching this family is uncomfortable and I hope for those babies these two get it together. Back to Kandi she is with her daughter Riley, who is just darling, and sporting some rather unfortunate hair color. Kandi wants to talk about Todd.
I think it is completely inappropriate to have this discussion on camera. She is asking her child about her getting married, and her child said she has no opinion about it. Do it off camera Kandi. A child is not going to hurt you on camera, especially a child who has seen your struggle. The disrespect of this child’s feelings, and putting this on the show is truly disgusting. Truly.
Cynthia is back from the hospital and I don’t understand why Peter did not carry her up the stairs. I also don’t understand a picture of them above their bed. Cynthia’s mom is there and Cynthia says Peter is not big on a lot of visitors. Peter is not good. Know it. Cynthia thanks Peter for taking care of her and he is an asshole in response. I want her to dump his sorry ass.
Kandi has gone for a scripted visit with Porsha. The hair is killing me. I didn’t like Kandi’s hair when Janet Jackson wore is years ago, and I don’t like it now. Porsha looks gorgeous, and is talking about Cordell. Again. Kandi asks Porsha if Cordell ever hit her and she gives a dramatic pause, which makes me wonder about the credibility of Porsha. She wants to defame Cordell.
For all her bravado, Porsha breaks down and starts to cry. I like this girl, but something is not right here. I don’t know what story I believe. To be clear, Cordell Stewart is an bastard, but Porsha is not coming out an angel here, so I hope that changes. Bitter is not the new black and nobody looks good in it. Know it. I will check out if all we get with her is divorce.
At Kenya’s house she is unpacking in her new home. Why she needs a big house like this is beyond me. Why not move into a cute condo? This is pretentious and lame. The landlord that had her evicted accidentally sends her a box with her wedding dress in it and Kenya puts it on and mocks the dress and the woman. I have no respect for Kenya and this is mean.
The landlord shows up with the police to escort Kenya out of the house and I am bored. These women truly are fascinating. They are not embarrassed by the scripting and even though it is fake, the reactions and conversations are real. As real as we are going to get on a housewives show. I am hooked, cannot wait to see it all play out, and appreciate they are trying to keep it real.
November 11, 2013 | 8:08 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
The reunions are always the best part of a housewives season but in the case of Miami, it might be the only good thing. This was a boring season and the women are hideous. They will cry, yell, accuse, and bully. I have got a bottle of wine so here we go Miami. I hope these ladies are finally able to be honest with each other. By ladies of course I mean they are not ladies.
Andy looks good and I am digging his grey hair. They are all starting off polite but it is going to go down. Lisa says not a lot of people in Miami work, Joanna goes after Lisa almost immediately and it is on, but not just yet. We recap the wedding of Adriana and Joanna. They were boring the first time around so I don’t understand the need for the long recap.
Joanna says not much has changed since she got married. That’s a shame since it means they still don't have sex. Bless her. Joanna says Adriana’s wedding was gorgeous but the waiting was rude and guests were miserable. .Adriana admits she has a problem with being late and asks if there is an “AAA” for lateness. She really is quite a dumb girl.
Adriana says she did not like Joanna’s dress and I’m a little bored. We sat through an entire season of crap and this needs to get interesting real fast. Cut to a recap of Lisa and Joanna’s friendship. These chicks are not real friends and we see all the fighting. Sidebar: Lisa looks a little bit like Melissa Rivers. Oy Vey. That was mean. True, but a little mean.
Adriana stands up for Lisa pointing out that Joanna was ungrateful when it comes to Lisa’s friendship. Lisa says she struggles as an immigrant from Canada. Oh. My. God. I am Canadian and I can assure you my immigration was a piece of cake. Lisa is defensive about having married for money and Alexia asks an innocent question and Lisa goes after her. Lisa is on edge.
Alexia points out she was a special education teacher for thirteen years when she met her rich husband. The point is these women all married well and with the exception of Joanna, men that were more rich than handsome. Joanna says maybe Lisa would have an easier time of getting pregnant if she stopped drinking. Below the belt. Joanna is a bitch. Know it.
Joanna implies that Lisa was doing drugs at the wedding. Or did she imply she cheated? Either way it was gross. Joanna says she is working on her sex life, and Lisa says Lenny is too tired for sex. Alexia won’t comment on her sex life. Adriana says her sex is hot, and Lea says she enjoys a great sex life. Who cares about this? I could not care any less about their sex.
Adriana asks Joanna about her relationship with Mohamed and says that Brandi from RHOBH told her that Joanna was the reason Yolanda Foster’s marriage to Mohamed ended. Interesting for Adriana to bring it up, and even more interesting she brings up Brandi. Adriana calls Joanna a home wrecker and Joanna is offering to take a lie detector test to prove she is not.
Adriana says it was rude for Joana to invite the man whose marriage she ended to her wedding. I don’t know what happened with Mohamed but I am guessing Joana banged him. Come on. Adriana says Romain is gay, Romain says Adriana wants him, Adriana ask why she would want a man with a limp dick. It is high school and I am laughing at these women.
Time to talk about Adriana being married for five years and the end of her friendship with Lea. I believe Adriana when she says Lea sold the story to the newspaper. They are vicious to each other. Adriana apologizes to everyone for her lie about her being married. Lea points out that Adriana lied about a lot of things in terms of her history. Lea is a twat.
Lea brings evidence she paid for Adriana’s son to stay in school. On this point I believe Lea. It is impossible to know who is telling the truth so the easiest thing is to assume they are all lying. This reunion is ugly and I am disappointed by the fact that after an hour we know nothing new except that these bitches are useless. Maybe part two will keep it real.
November 11, 2013 | 6:38 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
We start off this week in Malibu with Yolanda. Her house is perfection, she is fabulous, and I wish someone would tell her that her that she would be so much prettier if she darkened her hair a little bit. I’ll do it. Yolanda you are a wonderful and beautiful woman, but your hair color is just a tad too white.
Yolanda is not feeling well due to Lymes Disease and on a cleanse to help rid her body of toxins. Bless her. Over to Lisa, she is off to Dancing With The Stars. We know how that turned out. Jumping to Carlton, we see her house fand it is lovely, a bit on the goth side, and we see her children who are beautiful. Her husband gets home and they work out.
By work out of course I mean the entire family, including the kids, work out. Her husband is in sports management and their nanny, although I’m sure a nice girl, is an interesting choice. Carlton swears in front of her kids, which I also do. She doesn't censor herself and her kids don't swear, so anyone who has an issue with it can F off. By F off of course I mean fuck off.
Back at Yolanda’s house, she is on the way to the hospital with her husband David. She is having surgery done and her doctor meets her at check-in, which is lovely. His plastic surgery is not so lovely. To hear her speak of her illness, husband, and children is touching and I send her prayers for health. I am not clear on what Lymes Disease is but will find out.
Cut to Brandi, she is moving into her new house and has her mom there to help her. Her mom is cute and clearly aware of who her daughter is. Brandi says the best thing about being rich is she can help her parents and it is sweet. She has a falling out with her Dad, who thinks she needs to be more conservative and was offended by her dress for the Oscars. Bless him.
I wasn’t offended by her dress, but I did think it was hideous. Back at the hospital Yolanda is having a port taken out of her chest. I think she is brave to share this on the show and I find myself wanting to hug her, although she does not seem like much of a hugger. Her daughter calls and says she ate an almond. For the love of God, Yolanda needs to give her kid a sandwich.
Cut to Dancing With the Stars, Lisa is competing and Brandi, Kim and Kyle are there to support her. Well, Kim and Brandi are there to support her and Kyle is there to fake support and get on TV. They go out to eat after the show and Taylor is there. I don’t trust Taylor and think she is money hungry fame whore who contributed to the death of her husband.
Lisa, Ken and her dance partner Gleb join in. Yummy, yummy, ding dong. Kyle’s dress is not pretty and I wonder how it is she has a store for fashion when she appears to have no taste in clothes or accessories. Whatever. Cut to Bravo doing two conversations at the same time, in two different locations. I know it is an attempt at drama but is just annoying and lame.
At Kyle’s house she is having the new girls over. Joyce is lovely, Carlton is intimidating, and Kyle is looking for more camera time. Some chick named Sharon joins in. Whatever. Joyce is gorgeous. Carlton is telling a story and in the middle of her talking, Kyle says she is leaving and heads to get wine. Kyle is a bitch and there is no other way to say it. Complete and total bitch.
At Lisa’s house, Brandi is over with Yolanda. The lunches are going on at the same time and I wish the new chicks were at Lisa’s not Kyle’s. Lisa and the girls are talking about Kyle and the fact she is a liar and has no friends. Lisa is being bitchy which is interesting. The lunch at Kyle’s is drastically different from Lisa’s. It’s like The Four Seasons and McDonalds.
Carlton met her husband during a fight with another chick. Love it. Joyce meets her husband on a blind date. Joyce is going on and on, and Carlton is bored. I freaking love me some Carlton. A bee comes by and Kyle directs her friend to kill it and Carlton is mortified. We are going to have issues with his new group and I imagine it will all revolve around Kyle, like always.
Over to Kim, she is home with her dog Kingsley and the dog trainer has come over. This dog is dangerous and I would not go near him. He attacks the dog trainer and it frightens Kim. Why does she have this dog? She needs a more manageable dog. We meet Kim’s son Chad, and neither one of them can get the dog to sit. I think that dog is going to hurt someone. Know it.
Kim acknowledges her sobriety and we are reminded she is fragile and understand how much the dog means to her. He is going to hurt her, but she loves him. She cries when speaking of her struggles and it is endearing. You cannot watch this show and not love this woman. I love her as much as I don’t love her sister. Which is a lot. I hope she continues to do well.
Lisa is with Ken and they are opening a new bar. A gay bar called “Pump”. I’d rather watch a show about Pump with gay fabulousness than SUR skanks. Cut to Kim who is visiting Kyle. They are going to watch Lisa on DWTS and I wonder why Kyle wears such high heals to walk around her house. Idiot. They are watching the episode where Lisa faints and again, Kyle is a bitch.
Kim is shocked, Kyle is laughing, and I want to smack her. Kim says Lisa was faking, and Kyle says she fainted on purpose to get off the show. These Richards bitches are out of control. It is going to be a great season and I am hooked. Kyle is going to tease Lisa and I can’t wait. I hope Lisa punches her for all of us. I am digging it and will keep on keeping it real.
November 11, 2013 | 8:58 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I loved this show first season, then everyone got a big head and thought they were superstars, which made the second season difficult to watch. They are back for season three and I am going to try again. These are interesting people and so if they can check themselves and their egos, it could be good again. I am watching, for now, so we’ll see what happens.
Important to note that I think it is a drag they got rid of Sammy. He was fun TV and all these beautiful people are not as authentic as he was. We start with Reza and Mike who are out Porshe shopping for Reza. They’re working together but Mike is not pulling his weight so Reza is raking it in, but not Mike, who is riding coattails, and that is never cute. Reza is fabulous.
MJ is spending the afternoon with her Mom. This relationship is cute on occasion, but mostly it is just sad. MJ is trying to forge a relationship with a woman who is incapable of one. She loves her daughter, in the way she can, but there is going to be disappointment and I feel bad for MJ. She is a sweet girl and desperately hanging onto the pain of her childhood.
Lily is planning a prom themed 30th birthday party and I find myself wanting to cut her hair while she is sleeping. She is just too much. She is ridiculous and a sad representation of what it means to be Persian. Lily came in as the new girl and is a complete and total bitch. She is a fame whore and appears to be oblivious to how ridiculous she acts, or how dumb she looks.
Lily is all about being the top girl and will do what needs to be done to make that happen. She is on Reza like white on rice and wants MJ out. Mercedes has not yet RSVP’d to the party and so Lily has decided she can no longer come because there is no room. She has invited random people, but selects MJ to be the one cut off. Lily is selfish and this will backfire.
Over with GG, she is with her sister, who is getting a divorce. GG has been a hot mess for a couple of years so it will be interesting to see how she comes across this season. She claims to be growing up and maturing. Time will tell. She wants to get married and have a baby. God bless her. She is delusional, but cute and harmless, so I am hoping for the best for GG.
Reza is over to Asa’s parents house for a meal. I love how the parents are included in this culture and everyone knows the parents of their friends. It is lovely. The meal looks awesome and I wish I could cook the rice with the potatoes on the bottom. So freaking good. They are talking about Lily’s party and get around to being healthy and working out. Dear Lord.
Asa is back on her Persian Priestess trip and still hawking her Diamond Water, so is preaching about a healthy lifestyle. She will give her mother plastic surgery, if she agrees to work out. I’m bored. Back to GG who is now visiting with MJ, who has decided to clean out her closet. Sidebar: Why do rich people never have good hangers? It’s always plastic crap.
MJ and Reza are still fighting after his accusations last year. That is sad. Lots of talk of MJ and Lily’s party so something bad is coming. Over with Mike, he is still dating his Italian girlfriend Jessica, who has decided to convert to Judaism. Oy Vey. Mike is a bit of a loser and she is converting without a ring because he can’t afford one is my guess.
Reza calls MJ after months, on camera, and she invites him over. Seriously, who is writing this crap? He comes with flowers and food, which is cute. She takes the flowers to put in a vase and leaves Reza alone in the living room for a half hour on his own. It is funny and a small touch of realness. I love these two together and I hope they mend what is broken.
Reza tells MJ that Lily is not letting her into the party and I love him for saving his friend from the humiliation of not getting in. He had no problem humiliating her on TV last season, but bless him for trying to do the right thing now. MJ texts Lily to tell her she would like to come and apologizes for replying so late. Lily writes her back to say she cannot come.
It was immature and selfish of Lily. Cut to the party, Lily is getting ready with hair and makeup. Then to the party, Reza is still dating his boyfriend Adam. The guests arrive and the dresses are ridiculous. A little too hooker for me. That said, if I had a body like these chicks I might wear those dresses. I kid, nobody is putting me in a low cut hoochie dress.
GG is wearing a pretty dress but her hair is a nest. She approaches Asa, who she hates, so it is a good sign of maturity. They talk eventually and it is promising. GG says sorry and I am proud of her. Not sure if she means it, or is trying to get camera time, but either way, good for her. The party is lame and I feel bad for the man who marries Lily that this is her way.
The party is still going at 1:00 am and Reza, GG, and Asa are talking about how bad it is that MJ is not there. Reza calls MJ his best friend, which was lovely. They approach Lily who is defensive and angry, not feeling bad about MJ not being here. It was a slow premier but looks like an emotional and volatile season so I will watch, blog, and hope they keep it real.
November 11, 2013 | 7:49 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
This might be the worse show on Bravo. I say that only because Courtenay Loves Dallas has not aired yet. This show is complete crap and I was embarrassed for the Tankard family. If I were a member of their congregation I would be pissed the leaders of my church are soentitled and idiotic when it comes to God and faith.
Ben Tankard and his wife Jewel are not even a little appealing. They are obsessed with money and come across as tacky. They run a ministry and their messages about God wanting them to be rich is repulsive. Their adult children are a hot mess. From teenage pregnancy, to troubles with the law, to drug use, these young people are now just fame whores.
I am not sure how these young women think they have a shot in hell of meeting a man after this show. Mr. Tankard says they serve a God who is all about bling, and there is no ghetto in heaven. Dear Lord. They are off to get a new plane and I am about done. This show is a waste of time and they are not doing themselves any favors. Don’t waste your time.
They live in Tennessee, in a mansion with an overflowing toilet, so lets get a little persepective. They are trying to look like a sitcom and that would work if these people were not so ridiculous. I am not going to bother to blog the whole show, and I will not be watching this crapfest again. Bravo should be embarrassed to have paid for this. That is keeping it real.
November 11, 2013 | 5:50 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
Every season, in every city, Bravo tells us this is the best year yet when it comes to the housewives. It never is, until now. We are only two weeks in but I think this might really be the best season for Atlanta. It is a great group, they don’t really like each other, use each other for camera time, throw a lot of shade, and are too busy living to worry about lying too much.
I am hooked and I watching with new interest. I’m not sure I would think they were as entertaining if I were an African American woman from Atlanta, but it’s all in good fun and we know all women of color are not like this crazy, self absorbed, fame whoring group. Think what you want about them, there is no denying these chicks are good TV.
We start this week at court where Kenya has won her lawsuit against her landlord, who tried to evict her for not paying rent. Kenya is not surprised to see the paparazzi there, and it is hilarious because it is one guy. Just one. Kenya is not nearly as famous or important as she thinks she is. I hope she thanks God for RHOA because it is the only reason we know who she is.
Over with Porsha, she gets her first $5000 spousal support check and decides she doesn‘t want to use it to pay rent, so she moves in with her mom. Does anyone else think Porsha’s mom looks like Beyonce’s mom? They could be sisters. There is a lot of talk about money with Porsha and that is a shame because she is coming across as a gold digger and I don’t think she is.
Nene is meeting with Kenya, who appears to have forgotten to wash her hair. Nene is my favorite and calls out Kenya for her fake crying. In my opinion Kenya is a liar and that she is still talking about Walter is fascinating. She barely dated him, never slept with him, and she is delusional about their relationship. Nene sets her straight and hopefully we can let Walter go.
Nene points out that it is when you are going to see an ex you should really twirl. Amen. She also points out that with all the dick in Atlanta you don’t need to steal another woman’s man. Amen. I love me some Nene. Kenya does not know the difference between implicating and implying, bless her. She may be pretty, and a businesswoman, but she is also a little dumb.
Cynthia is with her loser of a husband talking about her stomach being bloated. It is brave of her to talk about it and show her tummy on camera, and her honesty is a charming as her husband is not charming. I think Peter is an ass wipe and she needs to dump him already. Cynthia has fibroids and is hoping to have surgery to help with her pain and discomfort.
We jump to the Kandi compound where Cynthia has come over for a scripted visit. Kandi’s hair is not working for me. Don’t get it. Kandi explains to Cynthia that her mom is not supportive of her getting married. I feel bad for Kandi. She just can’t get a break when it comes to love. Porsha joins the fun, as does Phaedra, who says that Porsha has a small brain. Such a bitch.
Phaedra tries so hard to be a southern belle but she is a gutter pig. Know it. They are talking about Kenya being inappropriate with Apollo and throw out a Monica Lewinsky joke. Really? That was a million years ago and to be clear, I would have blown President Clinton too. Sorry. But yes, I would have. Surely there are more recent blow jobs that can be referenced than Lewinsky.
Over at Phaedra’s house, she is living in squalor. Her babies are beautiful. For someone who is so busy, Phaedra certainly finds time to complain. It is all she does. Her marriage is crumbling, we are watching, and no matter how she tries to spin it, it ain’t looking good. The constant passive aggressive digs at each other are uncomfortable to watch. He is going to dump her.
Cynthia and Peter are off to the doctor and Peter is being a schmuck. Cynthia is a perfect candidate for the surgery she needs and is relieved. Bravo for sharing this part of her life as it will help people. Cut to the big meeting, where Nene has gathered the entire group to talk so they can move on with the season. Atlanta is hilarious when they are scripted to hang out.
Kenya is back peddling and it is pathetic. She is denying what she said, trying to spin it, and looks like a moron. This conversation is a bit boring because everyone is talking around it, rather than hit is head on. Porsha is all kinds of ballsy and I love it. Kenya is crazy, Phaedra knows this was as much Apolo’s fault as Kenya’s, then Phaedra jumps to the aids situation. Ouch.
Phaedra reminds Kenya that she accused them of having aids, Kenya denies it, then we see the tape of her saying it. Kenya is not only a delusional bitch, but she is mean spirited and out to cause drama, which works well on a show like this. Week two and she is digging herself a huge hole. Nobody likes Kenya so it will be interesting to see how she plays out during the season.
Porsha is moving into her mom’s house and points out that she and her sister are so close they are like Siamese cats. Not twins, cats. Dear Lord. To be that pretty and dumb is just good TV. Porsha gets her mom to give her the master suite and her mother move into a spare room. Really? I get the mom saying yes to that option, but shame on Porsha for even asking her.
Porsha gets a text message that Cordell is packing up all her crap and delivering it to her mother’s house. I am not buying for one minute that her lawyer is texting this information. He would have called. We are smarter than the writers of this show, which is annoying. After all the money we make for Bravo you’d think they could hire a good writer and not a dumbass.
Kandi is with her mom, who has moved into Kandi’s old house. Kandi’s mom needs to get a job and stop living off her daughter. She starts bagging on Todd and how he is cheating and using Kandi for her money. It would appear that everyone in Kandi’s life is worried about her money and how they will get less of it with Todd in the picture. I feel very sad for Kandi and this drama.
She is supporting a lot of people and it would appear money is more important than Kandi to many of these people. I like Kandi. The stress of her mother and Todd fighting is causing her to cry and make really bad hair choices. Bless her. Kandi’s mom needs to back down. This season is going to be good because the women of Atlanta are really trying to keep it real.
November 9, 2013 | 2:51 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I write two blogs for JewishJournal.com. Both are popular, occasionally harsh in their honesty, and seem to take on a life of their own when it comes to Twitter. It is fascinating that a small group on Twitter are hell bent on lashing out and putting me and my supporters in harms way. By small group of course I mean they all follow each other and while they like to think they are reaching millions, they only read each other so it’s just a dozen women reading and talking to themselves.
The madness started on Twitter years ago when I wrote I liked Jill Zarin. Those who don’t like Jill lost their minds. I was accused of liking her because she was Jewish. (Apparently all Jews like each other.) Who knew? I liked Jill as a character on a TV show, and when I met her in person, I liked her as a woman. She was good TV and regardless of whether I agreed with what she said or did, I enjoyed watching her. My opinion of her did not change when I met her because she was the same in real life.
Jill is opinionated, strong willed, honest, open, not easily intimidated, brash, occasionally harsh, and owns all of it. She is the quintessential New York Jewish broad and I think RHONYC has not been the same since she was unceremoniously fired. I think Bethenny’s hands are all over her departure, but my opinion of why she was fired is irrelevant and old news. What I know for sure is that Jill Zarin is funny, lovely, supportive, and will have my back when I need her.
A handful of trolls on Titter spewed a lot of hate my way when I supported Jill, and when those who support me spoke up against the hate I was getting, they were attacked. It has been a couple of years and things have quieted down, but the same group has now decided to start up with me again over my support of Brandi Glanville. There is always one polarizing housewife on every season in every city, and people are as obsessed with Brandi as they were with Jill.
I think Brandi is good TV. I also think people are quick to judge her. Brandi is honest, open, uncensored and vulnerable. I personally don’t think you can go through the public humiliation of your husband being an asshole, and his new wife being a sociopath, without being a little broken. Just my opinion and one Brandi may not agree with in terms of being broken. Here’s the thing about Brandi, we are friends but I don’t seek her approval on anything I write.
Brandi Glanville is lovely. She is a girl’s girl and she will go to the mattresses for you. She has picked me up when I fell, wiped my tears, made me laugh, been compassionate and kind. I love her. Do I think she has made mistakes? Yes. Do I think we have all faultered and managed to get through it without a camera on us? Yes. She is a great mom, wonderful friend, true beauty, funny as fuck, and a rock star in a sea of reality garbage. My friend gets a lot of Twitter hate.
I am getting ripped apart on Twitter for liking Brandi in the same way I was for liking Jill. I feel bad for my friend when she is trashed but I laugh when people write her to be careful around me because I cannot be trusted. They have written I am employed by the moron that is LeAnn Rimes, and I sell stories about her to the tabloids. It’s all rather entertaining. She responds with an occasional fuck off, but for the most part we just ignore it and move on with our lives.
I write for a living and it makes me happy. I write about reality shows, which make me crazy sometimes, but it is fun. I get paid to do what I love and am great at it. I write blogs, am working on a book, and am truly blessed to be able to support my child and myself by sharing my opinion and my truth. I also understand people’s need to write about me. If I am allowed to share my opinion, people can certainly share their opinions of me in return. It is the hate I struggle with.
To post my address and phone number on Twitter is idiotic. It is always people who hide behind fake accounts and fake pictures. That Twitter allows people to continue harassing strangers is fascinating. Some of these people tweet 24/7. They post pictures of their kids and grandbabies at the same time they spew hate, threats, and ignorance. I’m guessing a lot of kids are being ignored while their delusional caregivers are online pretending to be tough.
People incite hate and are currently going out of their way to harass women who follow both Brandi and me. It is fascinating Twitter has not banned these people, the police have not arrested them, and their bosses have not fired them. All in good time I suppose. They seem to think their identities are a secret, which shows how delusional they are. There are several people on Twitter who have begun a hate campaign and it would be funny if it were not so pathetic.
These crazy people scare me on occasion, but mostly it makes me sad. By sad of course I mean there is a little sadness amongst all the laughing. Brandi certainly does not care, Jill rolls her eyes that people are so nuts, but we are women and so there are emotions, mostly anger, because those who judge most harshly, are those who don’t know us. I understand the right to judge, and to a certain extent my job requires me to be judgmental, but to judge is not to hate.
Twitter is a hateful place and the lack of accountability from Twitter is unbelievable. I have written countless complaints, as has my employer, but the people who are dangerous are not dealt with. You get an email from Twitter assuring you it is being handled, but it never is. People are being hurt and Twitter does not step it. It’s not rocket science and if they wanted to help, they could. They are more focused on making money than the integrity of their original vision.
One could argue my writing about these insignificant losers is a waste of my time, but the way I see it, I receive a lot of love and support from people on Twitter and for me to say nothing when they are being attacked is unacceptable. I have their backs as they have mine. If these morons want to have a go at someone for liking Jill and Brandi, or simply have an issue with me, come after me and leave the people who support me alone. Let innocent people enjoy Twitter.
By come after me of course I mean fuck off already. Thousands of people have died in the typhoon that hit the Philippines, people are starving to death, women are being killed, raped, and tortured at this very moment just because they are women. You are operating as if what you say matters when in truth it does not. Don’t like my blog? Don’t read. Don’t like me? Don’t follow. Get a little perspective and grow up. Imagine if someone was doing to you what you do to others.
I have survived greater things than attacks on Twitter, and this too shall pass. To those who enjoy my work, thank you. I love you for speaking up, but save yourselves and do not engage with hate. To Jill Zarin, I ain’t got nothing but love for you, and to Brandi, keep doing what you do. To those who are operating from an evil place, get some clarity. Time for you to shut up and back off. When it comes to defending myself and my friends I will fight back and keep it real.