April 15, 2013 | 4:41 pm

Married to Medicine – Toya’s Hitler Ignorance UPDATE

Posted by Ilana Angel

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Toya Harris

Married to Medicine is my favorite reality show.  These women are fabulous and entertaining.  Not always appealing as people, but still good television. This week however, Toya Harris crossed a line that requires me to forgive her ignorance, but I just can’t.  I think she owes me an apology.  By me of course I mean everyone on the planet.  Toya Harris is moron.

In her Bravo blog, Ms Harris wrote: “Wanting people around you to stroke your ego is your and Hitler's version of friendship!”  I’m not sure what she meant by that, so let’s see if we can figure it out.  Perhaps if I understood her thought process, I wouldn’t be offended by her statement.  If I’m wrong about her, I will say so, so let’s see who owes an apology here.

Toya, when you referenced Mariah being a friend like Hitler, did you mean she was going to strip you down and march you into a gas chamber?  Was she going to take your children from you and burn them?  Was she going to have medical experiments done on you to see if black people are just like Germans?  Was she going to make you wear a black star everywhere?

Am I not getting the point?  Did I miss the joke?  How is it possible that a black woman could be so callous about Hitler?  African Americans have a dark history of being persecuted in this country, yet you made a joke about the dark and painful history of Jews.  What were you thinking?  There is no excuse for your comment, and you need to remove it from your blog.

Now, if you honestly don’t understand why it is offensive, then don’t take it down, but I refuse to believe you are that stupid.  We all make mistakes and I will forgive you because you were under stress, and felt the need to defend yourself because of the episode.  The longer you leave it up there however, without apologizing, the less likely forgiveness will come.

Hitler is not funny, not a joke, and not an appropriate reference when comparing your privileged life and friendships.  I am respectfully asking you to remove the statement from your blog, and apologize, as your cast mates have.  Respect yourself, the history of black Americans, and the 6 million Jews who died.  That is required if you want to keep it real.

UPDATE: Toya Harris wrote me on Twitter to say: "I don't respond to negative insults. The comment was not meant to disrespect the Jewish heritage & I believe u know this."  She then went on to say: "I'll pray for you and you do the same for me.  Your insults are just rude & for attention."  Let's talk about these tweets shall we?

First of all the Holocaust is not part of my Jewish "heritage".   

her·i·tage  (hr-tj)
n.
1. Property that is or can be inherited; an inheritance.
2. Something that is passed down from preceding generations; a tradition.
3. The status acquired by a person through birth; a birthright

The ignorance of this woman is staggering.  As for my being rude and seeking attention, well, you can't really argue with stupid, so I will let that one go.  I will point out however, that all insults are negative so I'm not sure why she needed to let me now my insults were negative.  Bless her that she manages to survive with that brain.

Toya Harris refuses to apologize for her statmeent, and has the nerve to imply that I am wrong for attacking her when I knew she meant nothing by it. I wonder how she would feel if I made a comment about slavery, or lynching.  African Americans and Jews have a shared dark history of hate and that a black woman would make a callous Hilter comment is just sad.  I will pray for her children as they are being raised with ignorance and hate.

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April 14, 2013 | 7:35 pm

Married to Medicine – The Brawl

Posted by Ilana Angel

It has been a long time since I was excited about a reality television show.  I watch most of them because I am addicted, not because I really love the show.  Real Housewives of New Jersey is fantastic and I am counting down to their return, but let me tell you, Married to Medicine is my new favorite. I love this show, love these women, and waited all week for them.

Mariah is visiting with Toya and lets us know they’re friends because their husbands work together, more than a real affinity for each other.  Mariah brings Toya a christening gown for her son’s baptism.  Toya lets Mariah know her son Avery will wear a suit, not a white gown.  Even me, the super Jew, knows a white gown is standard baptism wear.  Toya is weird to me.

I don’t get her, and while I think she is beautiful, she is also setting herself up for reality television divorce court.  Over to Dr. Jackie, she is with a patient.  Interesting that her patients would allow their procedures to be filmed for television, but whatever.  To each their own.  We learn Jackie’s parents were both teachers and she is a Type A personality.  Duh.

Dr. Jackie is all about fitness and probably hates fat people.  Dr. Simone comes to the gym to visit.  I love me some Dr. Simone.  I want to be friends with her.  We can have drinks while she gives me a pap smear.  Win, win. Simone lets us know Jackie is anti-social because work takes precedence. That does not sound like a fun life to me, but it clearly works for her.

Toya and Simone are out for a cigar.  Fabulous.  Toya is a poser.  She is bitching to Simone about Quad.  These girls are not kind to Miss. Quad. Granted Quad is a loose cannon, but how can you not love her?  She is all kinds of good crazy.  They are now gossiping about Mariah.  Toya is talking a lot of garbage about Mariah and she is stirring up crap.  Not cool.

Quad is a dog person.  By dog person of course I mean she thinks of them as her kids.  I don’t get dog people.  (Said the woman who loves her cat as if she gave birth to her herself.) Quad is all about dressing up her dogs, which is adorable.  The dogs don’t look like they think it is adorable and I actually think they looked embarrassed.  All kinds of crazy with this one.

Kari is getting ready for the party she and Mariah are throwing at her home. Kari wants us to know she did it all without an event planner.  It’s a party not brain surgery, but bless her for being proud of her work.  The house looks fabulous and it will be a lovely party.  Sidebar:  Atlanta looks gorgeous in the fall.  The colors are magnificent and the ATL looks beautiful.

Mariah is with her sister, Lake, picking out her outfit for the party.  Lake tells Mariah she is not into it because Mariah’s friends are insane. She tells Mariah that she heard Toya talking crap about her kids.  Turns out Mariah’s daughter has a different father than her husband.  He adopted Lauren and is her father, so she is pissed off by Toya opening her mouth.

Mariah shared something private with Toya and is angry Toya broke their confidence and put potential hurt on her baby.  Lake tells Mariah that her mother was also there, and Momma is out for blood.  Toya’s blood. Mariah now does not want to go to her own party because Toya will be there. I called it on Toya.  She is a gutter pig and hell is going to break loose.

Kari is pissed off she has done everything without Mariah’s help.  The cake has been delivered, but it is the wrong cake.  Oh dear.  Everyone is arriving and looks fabulous.  Important to note that when the Real Housewives of Atlanta dress up for an event they look like Vegas hookers, but this group looks beautiful.  Bravo to this lot of women for looking so lovely.

Duncan and Simone are talking medicine and we are reminded these are real people.  Love it. Mariah’s guest are pissed off she is not at her own party. Turns out Mariah is two hours late.  It’s going down people.  Mariah is oblivious to how rude her arrival time is.  Quad is with her and tensions are high.  Kari is pissed off and rightfully so.  Mariah is out of control.

Everyone is talking about how late Mariah is and Quad is sticking by Mariah. Mariah’s mom is not impressed with how the house looks.  I am actually nervous watching.  So good!  Toya tells Mariah’s mom to stop hating and Momma is ready to go after Toya.   Cut to a couple of dancers, which made no sense to me.  It was lame, and they were not at all entertaining.

Kari asks Toya why Mariah is being so mean to her.  Not sure why Kari asked Toya.  Toya is talking smack about Momma and asking why they are focused on comparing homes.  Really?  This from the woman who is moving so she can impress people with her house?  Toya is a bitch.  For real.  People are leaving and Mariah is mad.  They have been there for hours Sweetie!

Mariah insists she was late because she was lost, but nobody is buying it. Toya goes up to Mariah and asks her why her Momma chewed her out.  Dear Lord.  Toya is not only a bitch, but an idiot.  Toya calls Mariah, ghetto and the fight is on.  They are going at it like they are in a ring.  Quad is panicked for Mariah and Momma is hoping her daughter gets in an upper cut.

Kari is mortified, the husbands are stunned, the guests are shocked, and Mariah still does not think she is to blame for anything.  My, my, my. Remember when a couple of weeks ago I said this group of women were the classy version of the housewives?  I was kidding.  These women have jumped into the gutter.  Kari wants Mariah kicked out but she’s not leaving.

Important to note that while the fight was wrong for a million reasons, and Mariah's mom didn't help matters, Toya messed with the well being of a child and she should be ashamed of herself. There are lines that must never be crossed and she not only crossed them, but went back and forth over them.  Mariah was  wrong to throw the first punch, but I understand why she did.

The party ends with people practically running out.  Duncan is certain Mariah will get served with divorce papers in the morning, and Kari does the obligatory fake cry. This show is good.  By good of course I mean reality television gold.  Next week we will see the fall out of the party and I can’t wait.  These chicks are crazy, but they are keeping it real.

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April 8, 2013 | 8:26 am

Married to Medicine - Classy & Trashy

Posted by Ilana Angel

These women are insane.  By insane of course I mean great television.  We are in week three of the most perfect reality train wreck and the women are staring to unravel.  They are going to seriously start humiliating themselves and I am sitting in front of the television like a dog at the dining room table waiting for a bone.  It is coming and it is going to be fabulous.

We are starting off with Mariah and Kari going to select wine for their joint birthday party for their husbands.  Such crap.  They know what wine they like and so this is a scripted meeting to talk about the fact that Kari uninvited Quad to the party.  Kari is pretentious, Mariah is waiting to attack, and their hug was fake.  Kari wants us to know she is a wine expert.

She reminds us she is European, because apparently Europeans know their wine.  Kari is hilarious and fancies herself to be fancier than she is.  Mariah is rolling with it, waiting for the big confession.  Kari makes an unfortunate joke about yeast infections, Mariah is not having it, and Kari’s lips and unbrushed hair are distracting.  Here we go with the crazy.

Kari tells Mariah she is unwilling to have Quad in her home.   Mariah says that Kari deserved what Quad said to her because she was rude first.  Kari is blowing smoke up Mariah’s ass by trying to be calm and ladylike, but Mariah is smarter than her and it is going down.  Mariah says they should cancel the party if Kari does not want her friends in her house.

Mariah wants the party cancelled and her deposit check back.  Kari jumps right on the train and agrees the party should be cancelled.  Just as it gets good, they jump to Dr. Jackie.  She is throwing a luncheon for her patients who have survived breast cancer.  I love Dr. Jackie and think she is fabulous. The scene about her gift bags however, was a waste of time.

Kari has now whipped out her checkbook and is going to pay off Mariah to “shut her up”.  Kari calls Mariah low class and I am dying.  Kari looks like a bitter and ridiculous bitch, while Mariah looks like a lady.  Mariah is a grown up and Kari is a mean teenage girl.  Mariah reins Kari in and saves the party, but Kari thinks it was her that salvaged the situation.  Poor Kari.

Mariah comes out the winner here.  She is a class act.  She calls herself the Queen Bee, which I think she is, but sadly she is dealing with worker bees that don’t really want to work and may be somewhat mentally challenged.  The party is on and Kari and Mariah are going to have lunch with Quad to re-invite her and make sure they are all okay so it can be calm.

Toya is on a mission to move on up in Atlanta society.  She wants a bigger house and she wants us to all know she is in charge of her family.  She is setting herself up for a huge fall.  Her attitude about money, her husband’s role, and her own, spell reality television divorce.  They are funny and cute together, but she needs to dial back the desperation a bit.

We are off to meet Dr. Jackie’s husband and her stepdaughter Kirsten.  Her husband calls her a stepmother, but Jackie wants to be referred to as the other mother.  Just like that, I am over Dr. Jackie.  I am my son’s only mother and his stepmother, while helping to raise my child and an important part of his life, is not his other mother.  She has lost her mind.

These LeAnn Rimes freaks needs to check themselves.  You are not her mother Jackie.  For real.  She says she is her mother in one breath, then says they have come a long way and it has been difficult on occasion.  She is not her mother, she is her stepparent, and I am finding it hard to like her. My own baggage of course, but still, she has pissed me off.

Kari is telling Duncan about her meeting with Mariah.  Kari tells him it was dark and ugly, but fails to mention it was her that made it dark and ugly. Kari is a troublemaker, but that is why she is on the show.  Over to Quad, she is with her two little dogs, her kids, and agrees support Dr. Jackie’s cancer event, and meet with Kari to smooth things over.

Dr. Simone is with her sister Carmen and they are cute together.  They are funny, silly, and close.  This is filler through and while it was a nice way to introduce Carmen, the editing between heavy and light is not smooth.  I want to enjoy this stuff, but I’m all wound up from the other stuff, so the transition is hard.  They need to edit the madness better.

Toya is with the architect for her new house and I am telling you, these scenes are going to be shown in her divorce proceedings.  Toya needs to relax and keep some of her money spending madness to herself.  I like Toya, and I love how ballsy and secure she is, but no good can come of this.  This is reality television Toya so be careful Honey.  You are crazy.

Dr. Simone is at Dr. Jackie’s event.  She is the only other cast member there.  We learn that Dr. Jackie has battled breast cancer twice.  Jackie and Simone are perfect together and they could have carried this show on their own.  Jackie is brave and courageous and I am glad she is okay.  I’m still pissed about the mother comment, but I love her.

Dr. Jackie is walking in a cancer awareness walk and Quad and Mariah are hilarious.  They come to support Jackie, who is somewhat offended by them coming in costumes and wanting to have fun.  Quad and Mariah did not know Jackie had cancer.  I get her seriousness, but she also needs to enjoy the blessings.  She has a message, but there must also be joy.

Quad is inspired by Jackie, Mariah respects how Jackie has grown, and Simone is sitting on the street in a chair clapping.  At the end of the day these women are all fabulous.  They are more real than the Real Housewives and are giving us a new type of reality television star.  I like them a lot.  I won’t hold back my opinions when blogging, but I like them.

Kari, Mariah, and Quad are at lunch.  Kari arrives with a cold hello and we see her inner transvestite.  Mariah sets up the chat for healing, and Kari is clearly nervous.  Quad is holding her own, staying calm, and sharing her truth.  Kari knocks Quad’s husband’s job, again, and Quad is annoyed.  Quad is the winner here.  She may be crazy, but she is the winner.

Everyone apologizes to everyone and Kari invites Quad to the party.  They make a joke about someone getting tossed in the pool at the party, and Kari mentions it will be Toya.  Cut to the preview of next week and it appears Toya is going to get shoved in the pool by Mariah.  These girls go from classy to trashy in the blink of an eye, which is totally keeping it real.

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April 7, 2013 | 9:25 am

LeAnn Rimes is Mad at Me. Again.

Posted by Ilana Angel

I think LeAnn Rimes is odd.  By odd of course I mean I think she is unstable and in need of special care.  She seems to have a lot of time on her hands, and a lot of people who are willing to do whatever she asks of them.  I guess she is bored with no career to speak of to keep her busy. The woman is out of control and once again reading my blogs and having a go at my abilities as a writer and my faith.

LeAnn’s pathetic loser of a friend Darrell Brown took swipes at my faith last year, and this year it is her publicist who is judging my faith. I am not sure how it is that these non-Jews are qualified to speak of a faith they clearly have no knowledge of, but it is quite laughable.  Who exactly are these people? How desperate are they for cash? How much do they get paid to speak on behalf of their cowardly friend?

LeAnn Rimes insists she does not read blogs about her, or watch the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but the more she insists the more she exposes herself as a pathological liar.  She reads every single word I write about her and watches everything Brandi Glanville is in.  It is fact, it is proven, and her saying it is not her, but people who care about her, is hilarious.  People who care about her are paid to.

I write about LeAnn Rimes because she is interesting.  By interesting of course I mean her desperate attempts to seem interesting are interesting. She is laughable and I find it fascinating that a woman who could singlehandedly turn it around and fix her troubled reputation, would rather use her time to dig the hole she is sinking into deeper.  Her publicist is a moron and she would be well advised to cut him loose. Fast.

To LeAnn and her publicist, let me share a little something about Jewish people.  Watching reality television does not make one a bad Jew. Writing about reality television for a Jewish newspaper, does not make one a bad Jew.  Jews watch reality television, but the Jewish Journal is not for Jews only. Important to note that not only do Jews watch reality TV, we create it, write it, produce it, and star in it.  That’s how Jews roll.

Jews are everywhere people. In fact, there will be a large group of Jews represented at the Academy of Country Music Awards tonight, but one particular country singer will not be there.  Funny how that worked out. It cracks me up when people write my boss and question how he can allow me to taint his publication with my reality television blogs.  Keeping it Real is not a blog about faith, or the bible.  It is an entertainment blog.

I write two blogs at jewishjournal.com, am proudly the most popular blogger on the site, and it has nothing to do with my being Jewish.  That said, I certainly write with a Jewish worldview, and my sense of humor has a Jewish spin, but my voice is my own.  I do not write on behalf of all Jews.  I speak for myself and am blessed to live in a country where I can, and work for a publication and Editor who allow my voice to be heard.

LeAnn Rimes has taken offense to my writing about her.  I won’t reprint the letter from her publicist as it was not written to me, but I will tell you that I think he is an idiot.  They are mad because I wrote a while back that I would not write about LeAnn anymore, which I did, but am now writing about her again, which I am, and that makes me a liar.  Boo hoo, the bad Jewish lady is being mean so make her stop. She is a bad Jew!

Here’s the thing, I am one of a million people who write about LeAnn Rimes. She likes to have her minions attack people she does not like, and I am one in a long line of people she is angry with.  She would be well served to work with me, instead of against me.  She reads my blog, knows who I am, and rather than reach out to change my opinion, she behaves in a way that makes it impossible to not write about her.  She is ridiculous.

Both my editor and myself have offered LeAnn an opportunity to speak with me and share her thoughts about my blog and me.  I have offered to meet her in person, talk on camera, or on the phone, so it is all recorded and she cannot accuse me of spinning her words.  I have offered to write about our meeting but she declined.  She does not want to talk to me, yet she reads my blog daily and seems to really care about my opinion.

LeAnn Rimes offends me as a mother, woman, writer, and decent human being.  That said, I don’t know her, but feel for her because she was raised in an unusual environment.  At the end of the day she is someone’s child, and actually still a child herself.  I suggest to her that she put on her big girl panties and sit down with the mean old Jewish lady.  I will come with an open mind and if I am wrong about her, I will say so.

She clearly cares about my opinion, and is hurt by what I write about her, so lets talk.  I am not out to hurt the girl, I write what my truth is and if she thinks my perception is wrong, then fix it.  Stop having your friends write to get me fired, or kicked out of Judaism. (LMAO) Time to grow up and change your image, so why not start with the Jews? We are the chosen people after all. LeAnn has an open invitation to keep it real.

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April 1, 2013 | 6:45 pm

Real Housewives of OC - Same Ladies, New Faces

Posted by Ilana Angel

We have been waiting for what seems like forever for these chicks to get back.  I’ve got 20 bucks that says I’ll be sick of them by episode 3, but here we go!  We start with Vicki who has had a chin implant, fat injections, and a new nose.  She looks great, but not really like Vicki.  I like her but think it is sad that she changed her face based on what stupid people said. Brooks the human turd is gone and Brianna is moving in with her husband and new baby.

Heather looks great and her kids have really grown up.  She is having all the women over for a clambake, except for Alexis.  Good for her.  She is not going to be forced into a friendship with a chick she does not like and I think that is fabulous.  I also think it is nice to have what appears to be a normal Jew on television.  Reality Jews are always freaks and she is the great Jewish hope at the moment.  Time will tell if she is a reality freak or likeable.

Tamra has moved in with Eddie and they are planning their wedding.  She is trying really hard to appear to be a domestic goddess but I’m not convinced.  Eddie is very bossy and controlling and she is seeing him in a new light.  I never got them together and still don’t.  I was not a fan of Simon so I was happy to see that end, but sadly it would appear she is dating the same kind of man, which is unfortunate.  It’s all crap of course I am projecting on things we have not even seen yet, but time with tell if I called it right from the start.

We are in the hospital with Vicki and she is about to become a grandmother. Hilarious that she is making it all about her.  She is ready, she will be a grandmother, she is excited.  Classic Vicki.  Over with Tamra, she is shopping with Gretchen and I am amazed at what these women shoot into their faces. They are super tight in the most unattractive way.   Vicki blames Tamra for her break up with Brooks and thinks Tamra is at fault for their friendship being over.  How old are these women?  It is very sad that any of them are on television.

They gossip about Alexis and how she has jumped on the bully bandwagon. They don’t like her, mock her faith, and it is sad.  I don’t like it when people make fun of faith.  Back at the hospital labor has now been 18 hours and there is no baby so a C Section is scheduled.  Baby Troy is born and he is gorgeous.  Again Vicki makes it all about her and how her life is changing. Whatever.  Babies are the greatest blessing and I am happy for them.  All of them, not just Vicki.

Gretchen calls Slade because, are you sitting down, he has a job.  I do not know what she sees in him.  With or without a job, Slade is a loser.  Gretchen wants us to think her company of handbags and makeup are thriving.  Really? I have never seen anyone using one of her bags and think she is full of shit.  Alexis has bought a new house and she wants us to know it is 6000 square feet.  She still loves Jim and Jesus.  In his first two minutes on camera he belittles her.

Alexis says she is best friends with Tamra and I wonder if Tamra knows. She misses Gretchen but we know Gretchen does not miss her. Whatever. Clambake time. Heather’s house is perfection. Vicki is nervous for everyone to see her still swollen face, Tamra is nervous to see Vicki and the gossiping begins.  I don’t get why we are watching a show where the first hour is spent explaining that none of them like each other.  Dear Lord. It is going to be a long season.

Tamra and Gretchen look like twins and it is lame.  They are there for 30 seconds and Tamra and Gretchen want the seating changed but Heather is not having it.  Vicki arrives and the show ends without our seeing how everyone reacts to each other.  It is going to be a season of fake friendships, screaming, and sucking up for camera time.  God help us all.  I will have a drinking problem by week 3.  The things I do for my job!  I’ll be watching, drinking and keeping it real.

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April 1, 2013 | 11:13 am

Married to Medicine – Ugly Beautiful People

Posted by Ilana Angel

I love this show.  We are two weeks in and I am hooked.  These women with money and privilege are more suited to Jerry Springer, which is what makes them really interesting to watch.  This show is not your standard train wreck, but rather a bunch of little crashes leading up to the big explosion. The timing is perfect.  Fascinating enough to keep us watching, but you just know something really good is coming if you can just hang on.  I suggest drinking while watching for added enjoyment.

We are still at Mariah’s party.  Listening to the doctors talk shop is oddly entertaining.  Quad arrives separately from her hubs so she can make an entrance.  Hilarious since it is not her party.  She sounds so much like Jackee Harry that I laugh every time she speaks and can’t really take her seriously.  Hard to know if she is really like that, or if this is her caricature for TV.  She is fun, but ultimately more annoying than interesting.  She is pretentious and I can’t tell if I like her.

Dr. Jackie is not at the party as she is working and it is probably best.  I love Jackie and think she is too classy for this group.  That said, we are on week two and she could be a whole lot of crazy in time. Sidebar:  Can anyone explain the eye shadow?  Is it 1984 in Atlanta?  Not cute. Quad ignores Toya and everyone notices.  Quad is on a mission to cut a bitch and her mouth is going to do the dirty work.  Quad goes after Kari and she does not even see it coming.  I love Kari Wells.

I still think Kari's lip injections are tragic, but this chick has balls and I am on her side. She is the perfect reality TV celebrity as she wants to be on TV more than she needs to, and she gets that it is all in good fun.  I respect a woman who respects the blogosphere. She reads blogs about her and when some Jewish blogger says she looks like a transvestite, she writes her and says she thought it was funny.  I may not like what she does on the show, but she has a fan in me.

Quad is on Kari like white on rice and she is going for the jugular.  Kari says Duncan was separated when they met and Quad calls her a medical mistress. Kari is offended and walks away, going to her husband for support.  She tells him what Quad said and laughs it off, but she is hurt and the tone has been set.  Toya is happy Quad found a new person to focus on and even Mariah is surprised by the balls Quad has. Quad is immature and no good will come of that in the end. 

Dr. Simone tries to talk sense into Quad but it is just too much.  Too much!  I am laughing out loud at this chick.  She is going to end up getting divorced and having her own show.  Everyone is talking about Quad but she is not backing down.  I like that the husbands are included in interviews.  They are part of the cast from the get go, as opposed to Real Housewives whose husbands came in as accessories but are now shoved down our throats.  I like the husbands.

Kari tells Quad she is offended and has not been married long enough to judge another marriage.  Not sure why that matters, but Kari is hurt so she is grasping at straws.  Kari says perhaps Quad’s husband has a mistress.  Into the gutter we go.  Jerry Springer must love this show.  Kari does her impression of Quad and it is great.  Then Quad takes it too far by making an anorexic joke at Kari’s expense.  Talk about cheating husbands, but don’t talk age or weight!

Kari shares she was anorexic when younger. Quad says she was worried about her but that is crap.  Quad is out of control.  All of a sudden it goes from day to night and I am laughing at the editing.  Kari gets her husband, in what appears to be hours later, and they are out.  Kari is so offended she left hours later!  The party is over and we are with Toya and her husband.  I think Toya is really pretty. She is on a mission to get her family into a bigger house with some flash.

Toya cannot pronounce the word Czar and it makes me laugh again.  No matter how much money you have, or how you dress, dumb is dumb and dumb is funny.   Dr. Jackie is visiting Dr. Simone.  I like these two.  Simone is hilarious and Jackie is uptight, but in an attractive way. It will be interesting to see if they can stay classy throughout the season.  I’ve got ten bucks they go Jerry Springer at least one time.   I could watch the season in one sitting.   My liver would like that.

Mariah is hanging with her husband and kids.  They are a beautiful family. He works nights so he can be with his family during the day.  Love it.  They are funny together.  Cut to Dr. Simone and she is meeting with a patient about a possible issue with her pregnancy. The transition between reality train wreck and true life reality is seamless.  I like that they keep bringing us back to the core of this show, which is medicine.  These people have serious lives that have nothing to do with cameras rolling.

We meet Simone’s husband and children.  They are a sweet family.  There is a lot of humor with the couples and that is nice to see.  They are not taking it so seriously, particularly Simone.  She is all about being a doctor, and wife and mother have their place.  Work clearly has the number one spot.  Over with Quad, she wants us to know she works and is great at her job.  She is a salesman but she wants us to think she is practically a doctor herself.  Quad is all kinds of crazy and fabulous.  Bless her.

Kari is out for lunch with Toya and tells her about her anorexia history.  She was so hurt she shot off a nasty text to Quad, calling her a whore and uninviting her to a party she is throwing with Mariah. Quad is Mariah’s friend and to not have included Mariah in the uninviting is going to cause a big mess. Bad for Kari, great for us.   Kari’s accent seems to change during the show, which I find hilarious.  She is now with her husband and we learn he has a bad heart valve and needs regular medical care.

Kari talks to Duncan about the medical mistress thing and Duncan is lovely. He adores his wife and has her back.  At the end of the day women behave badly to each other no matter how old they are.  You can take a girl out of high school, but you can’t take the high school out of the girl. According to Mariah, you can substitute the word ghetto for high school in this comment. Back to Simone her patient’s baby is going to be fine and yes, I cried for her.  Don’t judge me, I’ve been drinking.

Kari is at Mariah’s for lunch and I wonder who wears 6 inch heals and tight dress for lunch at home with a girlfriend.  Kari has drag queen hair and I am loving it.  Mariah wants to talk about the guest list for the party they are planning together.  It will be a birthday party for their husbands and Kari does not want Quad, but Quad is Mariah’s friend and she is going to ensureher coming.  Kari does not tell her about he text or that she uninvited her.  Cut to Quad and Mariah walking in the park.

Mariah is trying to help Quad so she can handle herself better.  Quad tells Mariah she has been uninvited and Mariah is pissed off.  She calls Quad her best friend which was odd.  We knew they were friends, but best friends? Mariah is going to have words with Kari next week.  I really like this show. Even the most unappealing people are still interesting, which makes for good television.  Too early to tell who will come out the winner, but for now I’m watching, blogging, and keeping it real.

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March 31, 2013 | 10:57 pm

Celebrity Apprentice All Star Recap

Posted by Ilana Angel

The reality television gods were on our side this week when the show was only an hour.  This is how it should always be.  This show is only worthy of 30 minutes so stretching it to an hour makes sense.  Going two hours every week gives me a headache, so tonight I am drinking wine, watching Trump, and thrilled that it will only take up an hour of my time.

The super annoying Piers Morgan is back to help Trump.  He makes me sick and the joy of it only being an hour is sucked out by his presence.  That said, at least we are only stuck with Morgan for an hour.  The task is to open an art gallery and 3D art pieces that they make themselves.  Trace is moved from his team to the other so the numbers are even. 

Lil Jon and Lisa Rinna are project managers.  For Lisa, Penn has all the ideas and Stephen is a dumbass.  I cannot stand Stephen Baldwin.  Nobody cares what he says or what he does.  Don’t even get me started on his selection of jeans.  I really want him to be fired already.  He does nothing, brings nothing, and gives me a pain in my lower back.

Dennis Rodman is divine, although creepy.  Lil Jon is simply divine. Busey is working with clay and a whack job in a way that makes you want to be wacky too.  Lisa Rinna is super polite and sweet to Gary and I love her for it.  When she was moved by his thoughts and danced to his madness, I thought she was fabulous.  I now want her to stay for the first time.

Morgan comes to see the team and makes sure to throw Omarosa under the bus.  He hates her and she hates him.  Boring already.  Trace Atkins is a killer when it comes to fundraising.  Bravo.  One of Gary’s pieces sells for 25K and I am thrilled for him.  I don’t know what it is exactly, but I love him. Love.  Meanwhile Omarosa is cheating and I love it.

Stephen Baldwin is under the impression that he is a real artist.  Nobody comes to buy his crap and he is mad that Lisa sold one of his pieces? Stephen Baldwin has not talent and his last name is the only thing we know him for.  His brother is a genius and he’s never there giving any money for his mom’s charity which speaks volumes about Stephen.

Baldwin is talking out of his ass and poor Gary is confused.  Trace is pissed off he had to switch teams but is happy to still be in the game.  Lisa wins with over 400K to St. Jude’s.  Lil Jon will bring Omarosa and Dennis to the boardroom because they raised the least amount of money.  I love it when this show is only an hour. Wham, bam, thank you Trump!

Omarosa raised 2K more than Dennis, but it was her own money.  She is trying to get rid of Lil Jon. Never going to happen.  Omarosa and Morgan are fighting and I’m bored.  Then Dennis goes after her and while entertaining, it is just yelling.  Omarosa is out and the only shot in hell Trump has to keep my attention is to stick to an hour to keep it real.

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March 31, 2013 | 6:24 pm

Real Housewives of Atlanta Finale Boredom

Posted by Ilana Angel

We begin the end with Kenya meeting with her event team as she is planning a party to celebrate powerful black women.  Good for her.  She is beautiful in her interview segments, but in the real life segments this chick is greasy and has very bad skin.  She also appears to be a different color in every interview, much like Adrienne Maloof.  She is all kinds of crazy.

Kandi is with Phaedra who is designing a stun gun for women.  Dear Lord. Let’s start with her boobs shall we?  Phaedra is torturing those poor little grapes by trying to make them look like melons.  She needs to get a boob job and call it a day.  Her new venture, “Phaedra Sparks” is another attempt to whore herself out for money.  Dead people and stun guns.  Classy.

Porsha and Kordell are in therapy and he is a total douchelord.  We all now know they are getting divorced and it will be nasty, but he truly is a schmuck.  Douche is very aware of the cameras and he is playing to them.  I feel bad for Porsha because she says they are not on the same page and she may need to move on.  Poor Porsha was about to get served.

It is time for Kenya’s party, which she likens to a wedding.  Poor girl is so desperate for a wedding she is throwing a fake one.  Bless her.  Porsha is picking out her costume, as is Cynthia.  I am fascinated by the bodies of these women.  The curves are fabulous and the tight clothes to cover them are spectacular.  These women own what they have and I love it.

Porsha is Halle Berry from a movie I don’t know, and Cynthia is Dianna Ross circa Mahogany, which is one of my favorite movies.  She is perfection. It is party time and you know something bad is going to happen.  Kandi comes as Tina Turner. Not really. Todd comes as Kanye West but doesn’t know it. Sidebar: Cynthia thinks valet parking is pulling out the stops?

Kenya is Foxy Brown and she looks great. Porsha will not be made a fool of so she comes as Dorothy Dandridge and looks gorgeous. Kenya is pissed off and I am excited about it.  Is that bad?  Kenya goes to Porsha and lets her know how disrespectful it is.  Porsha is a bitch in addition to being stupid. Porsha is classy and gorgeous damn it.  Then is happens.

Kenya asks Porsha to leave and has her escorted out.  Ouch.  Porsha is embarrassed and insulted, but she leaves.  Kandi and Cynthia leave right after her.  Really?  They have bee out to screw over Kenya from day one and this is just sad.  Cynthia gets on the phone to NeNe and gossips about it, which is stupid, so Kenya goes out to talk to them.

Kenya is a loon but I get it.  Porsha should have just stuck with the program. Porsha is demanding an apology and I would have smacked her.  Bless Kenya for sucking it up.  She is trying to save her party and I am embarrassed for all of them.  Kenya won’t give Porsha what she wants and I am with her on it. Dear Lord.  These women should not be on television. 

Kordell is now fighting with Brandon and I am laughing.  Kordell is a freak and Porsha will be counting her blessing soon enough that she is rid of him. NeNe arrives as Grace Jones and Phaedra comes as Eartha Kitt as Cat Women.   She pulls out the stun gun and I am so glad the season is over so we can stop watching her be a money whore.  Enough.

NeNe talks to Kenya and gets her to climb down off the ledge and gets her to apologize to Porsha.  NeNe is a superstar swimming in a sea of trolls. Listening to her opinion of everyone’s costume is hilarious.  I think it is time for them to shut down production on Real Housewives of Atlanta.  We can get our fix of Atlanta craziness from Married to Medicine.

The show ends with no big bang, probably because these women are boring as hell.  The reunion however, looks like it will be good.  I am happy this slow moving train is done and I am now off to blog the new ladies of Atlanta on Married to Medicine.  I will see you back here for the reunion.  Make sure you have wine because they may finally keep it real.

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