Posted by Ilana Angel
I went to get my hair done this week and my girl was running a little bit late. By little bit of course I mean 20 minutes. If I were 20 minutes late for my appointment, it would have been given away, but I was asked to wait while she finished another client. After 15 minutes I walked back to see what the hold up was and saw she was finishing up the hair of Kim Richards.
I leaned over and said hello. Kim Richards was sweet and lovely. She is really tiny. A petite woman with golden hair and kindness in her eyes. She was immediately warm and very engaging. I told her she looked beautiful and asked how she was doing. She told me she was doing really great and then made a point of telling me she appreciated my asking about her.
She was going to do an interview and having her hair blown out for it. We got to talking about kids somehow and I mentioned my son was applying to college and I was proud beyond measure, but also sad to have him go away to school. She told me about her kids and how they were leaving home. One going to college, one having gotten an apartment of her own.
It took all my strength to not start crying. I am very emotional about my son going away to school. He can ask me to make him something to eat and I will cry because I know he is leaving soon and won’t need me to make him dinner. She spoke of her daughters leaving with pride and sorrow. In our brief encounter I related to her as a mother on a rather profound level.
There is a palpable sadness about Ms. Richards. Not anything that makes you feel sorry for her, but rather one that makes you pull for her. She seemed a little sad and it was very endearing. She is a child star, a reality TV star, a woman fighting her demons, and at the core she is a mom who is going thorugh all the things moms go through. She is just like us.
Ms. Richards was soft-spoken, attentive, funny, and also comforting. She was clearly sad by her kids growing up and moving out, but she was also very supportive and assured me I would be fine. She gave me a little pep talk and reminded me that our job as mothers was to prepare them to leave. It was an unexpected but truly lovely exchange. I really liked her.
I am a fan of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and while the commercials for the upcoming season look dark and mean spirited, I will watch, I blog, and share my opinions. I comment on what Bravo gives me, so it is not always nice, but I will view Ms. Richards from a different perspective based on our meeting. This is a sweet lady who is just trying to keep it real.
12.12.13 at 9:43 pm | I might be too intimidated to blog this show. . .
12.10.13 at 8:55 am | Carlton can stay, Joyce should go.
12.8.13 at 9:55 pm | Momma Joyce is all kinds of crazy.
12.7.13 at 8:49 am | What the hell is Bravo giving us?
12.7.13 at 7:29 am | I'm not going to lie, these women and the men. . .
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire.
10.13.13 at 6:35 pm | One minute in and I am already overwhelmed by the. . . (1697)
10.10.13 at 12:58 pm | One is trashy, one is classy. (1678)
10.25.13 at 4:32 pm | At what point does a person's well being trump. . . (1666)
September 29, 2013 | 7:46 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Tonight's typo's are generously provided by Patron.
It is finally going to be over! It has been a very difficult season to watch, and even harder to write about. This show is all about taking down Teresa and the people doing most of the punching work at Bravo. There is very little entertainment value and we are only watching because we are addicted to it. Interesting that this finale is opposite the series finale of Breaking Bad. Both shows are doing some serious meth. Buckle up, here we go.
We pick up at Kim D’s event. I didn’t bother to blog last week because the show was a waste of my time. Penny is throwing Teresa under the bus, and Joe is saying he believes Penny over Teresa. Joe is a moron. Melissa is talking crap about Teresa and I am disgusted. Melissa is the puppet master of her husband. Interesting since she just wrote a book about how he is the boss and she is a sex slave who is not allowed to poop at home.
Johnny, Penny’s husband comes in and Joe is talking about Johnny’s tweet attacks. Juicy is there and it looks like a scene out of the Sopranos. Only not as interesting or real. Think about that for a minute. A scripted show is more realistic than this reality bullshit. Caroline says it is all Kim D’s fault, which would be fascinating if we cared about anything Caroline said. Teresa is calling out Penny on her lies, Penny is insisting Teresa is a liar.
Johnny says that all the crap Johnny and Penny have been saying has come from Teresa. Joe and Johnny get into a physical altercation, Caroline is calling out Kim D, and Melissa is worried about her hair. Jacqueline calls out Johnny for talking about her kid and the Manzo’s bail. Melissa is yelling at Teresa, while checking out her reflection in the camera and her desperate need to deflect everything to Teresa is very transparent. Ugh.
Joe and Melissa both tell the camera they know Teresa is to blame for everything. I’m so done with this show. Cut to Joe and Melissa talking crap about everyone, in front of their kids. For the love of God, enough already. I don’t believe anyone on this show. I am firmly planted on team Teresa but still, everyone is blowing smoke on some level. Teresa and Juicy are talking about what happened and I believe them. I do.
Juicy says that Melissa and Joe are not too smart, which I found to be hilarious. We are at minute 16 and I am pouring my second drink. Going back and forth between the two couples is lame and try as they might to make us think it is all happening at the same time, these talks were probably weeks apart. Cut to Jac and Chris talking about their kid. He is precious but we are over talking about it. This is all they ever talk about. Ever.
Kathy and Richie have gone over to Melissa and Joe’s. I’m bored. They are cursing, in front of the kids, and I am done. Kathy and Rich are sharing their opinions, which means it is time to fast forward. This couple is a waste of my time and listening to Melissa spin her lies is nauseating. The amount of time spent finding ways to include Kathy and Rich would be better spent finding a better writer for this crap. We don't like them.
Caroline is setting up her new Manzo show and it is lame. She is talking about how blessed she is and grateful that her family is not crazy like the others. She does not talk to half her siblings, which could be interpreted two ways. She is heartbroken and therefore not wanting that for them, or she is enjoying the tension so it is not just her who is troubled. The bottom line is that I don’t care. I will not watch or blog the Manzo spin off.
Juicy and Teresa have gone over to visit with Jacqueline and Chris. Really? They are recapping it all and I simply do not believe that Teresa would go to Jacqueline for comfort or support. Just not buying it. Sidebar: I thought Jac had her neck done? Teresa is owning up to trusting people she should not have, Jac thinks she is admitting some wrong doing, and the blatant manipulation of the truth, by everyone, is making me sick.
We are now at Blk. where everyone is coming to try their new flavors. They have added crap, vomit, and dirty diaper to the original ass juice. Bravo boys. Teresa and Joe are together for the first time since the party. There is tension. Blah, blah, blah. Teresa takes Joe off for a private chat. I love Joe. Shame about his wife. Teresa tells Joe she loves him, she is sorry and admits that she regrets anything she did to hurt him.
She explains she was hurt and angry. She tells him she met Penny and Jan for drinks and they told her Melissa cheated but she did nothing because she was angry. The bottom line is that Kim D started the drama and while Teresa listened, she did not say anything. Joe tells Teresa that Melissa is not better than her, and I love him for it. Joe is wonderful when he is not with his wife. They both cry and hug it out. Yes, I’m crying.
Teresa and Juicy are at the shore house, having rebuilt after Sandy, and everyone is coming for a BBQ. Know this, Milania Guidice needs her own show more than the Manzo’s do. Everyone is at the shore and watching the kids together is really lovely. Everyone is recapping their year as we wrap the season up. Kathy is building her dream home. The house that canolli built I guess. She should not come back and I hope Bravo listens.
Jac talks about Nic, because that is all she has to talk about, she fake cries and there is no evidence of her neck being done. She should not come back and more than our not wanting her, she should choose not to. Focus on your kid and call it a day Crazy. Caroline is all about setting up her new show and talking about how they all love each other. The Hoboken apartment is gone because you can’t shoot a show is an apartment. Whatever.
Melissa and Joe have sold their house and moved 30 minutes away from Teresa. Melissa is a liar and I don’t believe anything she says. Important to note that if you thought there was nothing Melissa did worse than singing, you have not read her book. Her book is garbage and anyone who buys it is throwing money away. Now it is time for Juicy and Teresa to wrap up and it is really very moving and sad. Crying again and on drink #3.
Juicy vows to fight for what is right, Teresa vows to stick by Juicy, and we go right into a one-on-one interview with Andy, Juicy and Teresa. Andy is not warm or kind, just jumps right into the fact that they have been indicted and face 50 years in jail with possible deportment for Juicy. Andy says he is going to follow attorney guidelines and will be respectful of the need to be careful, but he is just not compassionate, which is a shame.
I am uncomfortable watching this, let alone writing about it. Teresa will not answer questions about where her kids will go if they serve prison time, but Juicy jumps in and says they will not go to Joe and Melissa. I’m done. That is all I needed to know. I am over this show, wish Juicy and Teresa the best, and am praying for their beautiful daughters. This show is stupid and Andy should not conduct these interviews because he is too invested.
To wrap up the season I will say that this show needs to go away. It is simply not good television. Everyone has their own opinion and view, and no two people will see it exactly the same, but I will say that I think this show is crap. I love Juicy and Teresa and I wish them well. Time for Andy to start listening to the people who watch, and therefore make him rich. We are done Andy. Step back and step out. Time for Bravo to keep it real.
September 26, 2013 | 3:59 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Like most Housewives of Everywhere, Melissa Gorga is milking her 15 minutes to make as much money as she can before pop culture kicks her to the curb and forgets about her. From her “singing” career, to her new book, this woman is doing her thing. She is doing it badly, but still, doing her thing. Her book, Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage is truly hilarious. It is also an embarrassing use of priceless trees.
This is a really bad book and while that is to be expected from someone who is not known for being a scholar, the depth of her ignorance is mindboggling and I am surprised it made it past the editor. I understand everyone wanting to make some money, but this is insane. I have interviewed Melissa and she is as stupid in real life that she is on television, but her book is not stupid as much as it is ignorant, useless, and damaging to women.
I don’t believe she set out to be controversial because I am certain she does not know what controversial means, but it was the responsibility of her publisher to draw a line where she could not. There is lots of talk about her condoning marital rape and the truth is that it is not a stretch. The book is silly and will not give you a hot and happy marriage. It might however give you unwanted sex, a bladder infection, and an eating disorder.
Without boring you, making you choke on your lunch because you’re laughing, or spit out your wine in disgust, I will mention only five of the insane things she tells us. The core of her book is the thought that husbands want their wives to submit to them, and wives want their husbands to dominate them, in all aspects of their lives. How does one say, “This is a load of crap.” in Italian? Does Melissa even speak Italian? This is a crapfest.
1) Melissa’s husband Joe says that even when a wife tells her husband she does not want to have sex, she is lying and really does, so he can have sex with her even if she says no. Where I come from this is called rape. It goes against everything I have every taught my son and I am amazed that the publisher allowed this to get through.
2) A wife can get anything she wants from her husband if she is willing to give him sex, or sex acts, whenever he wants. A woman must not only be available for sex, she must be open to trying whatever he wants, and put his needs first. Wives need to remember they can do anything for 10 minutes. Is this a marriage or prostitution?
3) Keeping your house clean, and having dinner on the table when they get home, will keep a wife humble. It is also the responsibility of the wife to change all diapers, feed the kids, and clean up after them. Husbands should not be expected to do anything in terms of taking care of the children. Is she a wife or a Nanny/Housekeeper?
4) Wives need to dress for their men. Comfort is not as important as looking good for your man. Also important to note that a husband is not required to wear a wedding band. Additionally, wives should not make a habit of hanging out with single friends because no good can come of that. Single girls are slutty, which is how she got Joe.
5) Wives must never, under any circumstances, have a bowel movement while their husbands are home. You must hold it in, or run to the corner fast food place to take care of business because a husband must never know that his wife poops. Pooping and farting is for men only. Can money saved on toilet paper be used for kid's therapy?
So, to review, in order to have a happy and sexy marriage Italian style, you must have sex whenever he wants, allow him to take you sexually against your will, clean your house, take care of your kids, let him keep his marriage a secret, dress like he tells you, and never poop or fart in your own home. Do you all have that? It is a short list of requirements to be as happy as Melissa and Joe Gorga, and we all know how happy that house is.
The fact that she has written a guide to a happy marriage and not included her husband on the cover, is a clear indication that she is a fame whore and this is all about her. Her book is silly and nobody can possibly take her or her book seriously. She is a joke and people are laughing at her and how totally desperate and unbelievable her advice is. She is just not that bright and her book will be available in the dollar bin by Thanksgiving.
This book is bad for women, bad for publishing, and bad for business. The Internet is abuzz with news her book signings are being cancelled all over the place. I would suggest she do her book signings at pet stores, in the kitty litter section, so people can buy it to line their kitty crappers. Or in the bird section to lines cages. Melissa wrote a horrible book and anyone who is surprised must be drunk. Melissa is incapable of keeping it real.
September 22, 2013 | 10:32 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I watched this week’s show and I sat in complete disbelief. I have never missed an episode and feel confident saying it has changed so much from the beginning that it is simply unworthy of my time. Real Housewives of New Jersey is a scripted soap opera and I blog about reality television, so this show is no longer something I recap under my criteria.
What is so disturbing is we all loved this show in the beginning when it was real. That Bravo thought it needed to be changed in such a obvious way is just sad, and frankly stupid. They have ruined what was once wonderful. I am not going to blog this week because there was nothing interesting or even remotely realistic about anything they gave us.
Melissa invited to sing in front of 150,000 people based on her live radio performance? Dear Lord. I might blog this week in a couple of days when I’m not as offended by the crapfest. Translation: Maybe I will write about it when I get another bottle of tequila because I only have enough for one shot and that ain’t gonna cut it. This show is garbage.
I will blog the finale because that is my job. I will blog the reunion because that should be interesting, but I am sick and tired of Bravo giving us crap. Especially after we have all made them rich. This show went to hell in a hand basket when they hired Melissa Gorga and the only shot in hell they have of saving it, is to fire her. I’m just keeping it real.
September 22, 2013 | 8:18 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
This morning LeAnn Rimes had another meltdown on Twitter and it begs the question, does anyone love her? She has fans of course, and they are loyal and devoted. She has a family, and one assumes they love her, but does anyone really love her? Today, as Twitter blew up with her madness, I watched in amazement and felt genuine sadness for this woman.
LeAnn Rimes is suffering, in my opinion, a breakdown on the same level of Britney Spears and Amanda Bynes. She is a mess, in my opinion, on the same level as Anna Nicole Smith. She is calling out for help and sadly nobody seems to be paying attention to her. I think it is tragic and I cannot imagine what it must be like to be in her shoes. Scary and confusing to be sure.
LeAnn is constantly scrutinized and judged, mocked and tormented. She puts on a brave face and says it does not bother her, but it does. How do I know? Because she is a human being, a woman, insecure, confused and hurt, as anyone in her place would be. She is a real person with real feelings. Here’s the thing though, why does nobody love her enough to help?
I have never written anything about her that was made up or not true. I comment on the actions she shares with the world. I am not a gossip writer hiding in the bushes to get dirt on her, I simply write about what she does and says for all of us to see, and from that perspective I can say LeAnn Rimes is a ticking time bomb and someone needs to help her.
She has made herself unlikeable on an epic level. She continues to act crazy in ways that make the only conclusion we can come to is she is crazy. She has dug a hole for herself, but she is not a lost cause and with some love and guidance she can turn it around. The first thing this woman needs to do is get off Twitter. Not only quit, but close her account. Seriously.
We don’t need to know every 5 minutes how happy she is, how much she loves her husband, or how much she loves his kids. It is sad she feels the need to talk about how happy she is all the time. She is not as happy as she wants us to believe. All you have to do is read the hate directed to her and you know her happiness is clouded by it all. Hate is powerful.
In an effort to help this young and delusional woman, I will give her a list of the top 5 things she needs to do in order move ahead and change the tone. I don’t love LeAnn, but I will do for her what those who love her are unable to do, tell the truth. She will read this, as she reads everything I write, so we’ll see if she can set aside her ego and pay attention.
1) Stop referring to your step kids as “your boys”. They are not yours. You can love them as much as you would if they were yours, and as a mother I can assure you we all want the step mothers of our kids to love them in a deep and profound way. That said, you can love them to pieces but know your place and acknowledge they are not yours.
2) If you want us to appreciate you for you, stop trying to be someone else. Your constant need to be just like your husband’s ex-wife is odd and frankly disturbing. Be you. You are never going to live up the expectations you have created in your mind and if your husband wants you to be someone else, let him find someone else.
3) Drop the lawsuit against Lexi and Kim Smiley. It is mean spirited and you are hurting a family in ways that will be hard for them to overcome. She taped you, we get it. You seem to forget that you called her, and if you listen the call you must understand she was simply protecting herself from your irrational and vicious attack.
4) Get a new publicist. Your current team is doing you no favors and the truth is you are paying someone to hurt you. It does not matter how many interviews you do, or how many pictures are taken of you. What matters is what you say in those interviews and what you are doing in the pictures. This man is hurting you, not helping you.
5) Give a real interview with someone who is going to ask you real questions and inspire you to give real answers. We are not interested in Spitfire, or how happy your marriage is, or what a great “Mom” you are. We want to know who you are, how you feel, and if there is remorse and regret. We need truth before we can move on.
I am sure many people love LeAnn Rimes. I am also certain she does not know who those people are. If you are paying someone for a service, it does not guarantee loyalty or love. It is people who are not paid that are more likely to tell you the truth. Only you can change the tide Ms. Rimes and all it requires is for you to keep it real
September 17, 2013 | 9:30 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I really like this show and will watch even if I don’t care about the contestants. This season however, the cast is perfect. I know who they all are, am interested in many of them, and am blown away from the level of dancing right out of the gate. I don’t really get the need to move the judges to the other side of the stage. I don’t think moving the couples to the stage was needed. I believe Tom Bergeron is fantastic as the host, and I think Brooke Burke is not needed and not interesting. Shame when shows think they need to change things, but still, this show is great TV.
I may not blog about it each week because what there is not a lot to say, but I will be watching and tweeting and voting. Here is a breakdown of the cast, my two cents on their opening performance, who I pick to win, and who I think should go home first. Important to note that my 17 year old son does not watch this show, and mocks me when I cry while watching a dancing show, but he was glued to the TV for Bill Nye the Science Guy. Not only did he watch Bill, but he talked about it on social media and all of his friends were watching it too. It will be interesting to see how that plays out.
BRANT DAUGHERTY: I don’t watch his show, but this kid is adorable. When he shared the story of telling his mom he was on the show and she freaked out in Wal-Mart, I fell in love with him a little bit. He started off good, will only get better, but is not popular enough to make it to the end.
LEAH REMINI: Love her. She is funny and cute and there is something about her that I think is charming and relatable. She is quirky and entertaining and actually a good dancer. She will get better, people like her, she will have fancy friends in the audience and wills tick around.
CORBIN BLEU: He is a great guy and I understand his wanting to reboot his career, but he became famous through dance movies that were heavily choreographed, and learning the choreography is part of the challenge, so he has an unfair advantage. He'll be here for a while.
JACK OSBOURNE: What is not to love about this man? I think he is brave and adorable. I love his parents, and I want him to do well here. I was super surprised by his first time out. He is really very good. I cried when Sharon and Ozzy started to cry and I really hope Jack sticks around.
AMBER RILEY: This is a beautiful girl and I think her personality is cute. She is not a trained dancer but the girl can move. She was given 27 out of 30 on her first dance and I just don’t get it. She hardly did anything, so already the judging is not being fair. She’ll be in the finals.
ELIZABETH BERKLEY LAUREN: She looks great having just had a baby, but there is something about her personality that rubs me the wrong way. I don’t get her, am not invested in her, and think she can be the first to go even though she is a good dancer. She won’t stay long.
BILL NYE: I love this guy. When he says there is sexual tension with his partner I was laughing out loud. He is fantastic and while not a great first time out, he is super popular and he is going to stick around. He will get better but it does not matter because he is entertaining regardless.
KEYSHAWN JOHNSON: I thought he was cute, but also rude. He is a little full of himself and while athletes tend to do well here more often than not, I don’t care about him and he can go at any time as far as I’m concerned. He needs to be nicer to his partner and check his ego a little bit.
CHRISTINA MILIAN: She is pretty and I know her more from The Vice than her career, but she is sweet, a good dancer, and once the judges from the Voice stop by she will get better numbers. Not sure she can do it on her own. She gushing over JLo was the highlight of her performance.
BILL ENGVALL: He is funny. If this show were about being funny he could win, but it isn’t, so he will go quickly. Not sure he is popular enough, or good enough, to make it through to the halfway point. That said, he is a regular guy and we like when regular guys do good.
VALERIE HARPER: I cried from the moment she started talking to the moment she took her bow. I love her, think she is fantastic, an icon, and a hero. I want her to be there for as long as she is able. I know it’s about dancing, but it is also a popularity contest, and she is the best to me.
NICOLE SNOOKI POLOZZO: I love this girl. She is funny and cute and her personality has matured, but maintained the humor. She is a great dancer and I found her to be insanely likable here. I pick her to be in the finale and I am rooting for her. Waiting for a fist pump Snooks!
It was a great opening show and I for one am grateful they are only doing one night a week. I loved the dancing, loved that my kid watched part of it with me, loved that there is someone for everyone, and loved that in a sea of reality television crap, there is something truly worth watching. Even with some ridiculous scores from the judges, they are keeping it real.
September 16, 2013 | 7:55 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I am fascinated by LeAnn Rimes and how she continues to lie. It truly is on an epic scale and one has to wonder how she manages to keep everything straight when she tells so many stories. Her fans love her, which is great, but they are also unwilling to see she is not particularly kind to them. Her recent tour in Europe has been a series of lies that hurt her fans, and she is unapologetic and quite rude, but they still love her. Bless them.
The video below was posted the night before she cancelled a show due to her being deathly ill. She does not appear to be sick to me. She is ruining this beautiful song, but that is not the point. She canceled a show 3 hours before it was to begin. When a fan tweeted disappointment having travelled hours to get there, only to discover it was cancelled, LeAnn tweeted back that she schlepped from LA. Not a very nice response if you ask me.
She is back to performing with a concert tonight in Manchester, England. She is still tweeting about how sick she is, but putting on a show, even if the show is weird. She likes to throw her hair up in a bun, take her shoes off, and sit on the floor with her lyrics taped in front of her. It is bizarre behavior and while one could say there is something charming about it, unless charming involves some kind of medication, I’m not buying charming.
LeAnn Rimes should have called this the Pinocchio tour. The once popular singer is performing to small crowds who are more interested in her old work rather than the epic failure that is Spitfire. If you are not following her on Twitter, you must because it is hilarious. She loves her Twitter and uses it mostly to tell us how insanely happy she is and how much her husband loves her and she loves him. If you need to say it all the time, you are convincing yourself more than you are convincing us.
There is really no need to ever buy a ticket to her shows because they appear on YouTube the next day. She never sounds quite as good as she used to, and without an airbrush on YouTube, she never looks as good as she does when prepped for hours, but there is something truly entertaining about watching her. She is a child star gone wrong, but clinging onto her fame for dear life. Bless her. No matter what you think about this woman, you cannot say she is not interesting and compelling to watch.
She is inappropriate, has no boundaries, and is desperate to convince the world of her happiness. The truth is, as far as I can tell, any hope she had of rekindling her career ended when she cheated on her husband, married someone else’s husband, and publicly pretends she is the mother of his children, in front of the mother of his children. She is more of a joke than a star, and while her celebrity continues, we watch waiting for her to fall, not shine. God Bless her for being her. I’m just here to keep it real.
September 15, 2013 | 6:07 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
In an attempt to help smooth over the fact that Melissa is a cheater, and therefore rendering her book on a happy marriage even more useless, the search for a scapegoat continues. Bravo ahs been manipulating the situation to rip apart Teresa forever, but since we are getting sick of it already, they are expanding the hoax and putting Penny Drossos up on the block. Ugh.
Before we get to the bad editing, we start off with Teresa and Juicy out shopping with their moms. Teresa is starting her own food line called Skinny Italian. I bet that is pissing Bethenny off. Especially since you can’t make bad tasting pasta and Skinnygirl taste like ass. Teresa’s mom wants them all together so she can see the healing herself.
Over with Joe, he has gone for a scripted visit to Chris, and takes his boys with him. Cute kids. The men are drinking wine in the middle of the day like chicks, which I think is funny. Jac joins in and Chris tells Joe they are doing an event to raise money for autism. They are also releasing 3-4 new flavors of Blk. water, which has me laughing. They can’t give it away.
Jac is going to speak at the event, which is also hilarious. She is not a good speaker and add in a subject she cannot talk about without a fake cry, and she is useless. Jac says she does not want to be judged for using her son’s autism and I am rolling my eyes and having a drink. Joe is talking about the rumors of Melissa cheating again. Dear Lord. She cheated. Who cares?
We are now with Kathy and Rich and honestly people, I just want to skip over it. This is dumb. I have no interest in these people and can’t imagine anyone does. They talk and all I hear is blah, blah, blah. She is going to give a demo of her cannolis at Dylan’s Candy Bar. She has been doing this for years and a candy shop demo is a big deal? Bless her. Where’s my remote?
Cut to Teresa and her mom out for lunch with Juicy, Joe and Melissa. It’s been 4 years, so good for them. Joe is happy, Melissa is lying, Juicy and Teresa have moved on. Melissa wants to make sure that anyone who knows anything about her truth is off the show. We cannot watch and not think back to how great the show was before Melissa joined. Seriously.
Teresa is over for a visit with Jac and has brought the girls with her. These people are all crazy but they sure do make beautiful babies. They are jumping back and forth from Jac and Teresa to Juicy and Rosie, who are having lunch. I could watch a show of just Juicy and Rosie. They are good TV. Juicy wants another baby, as long as it is a boy.
Juicy says he would be open to a surrogate, and both he and Rosie think they can take an egg from Teresa, and an egg from Juicy and put it in another woman. For the love of God, dumb is funny. Speaking of dumb, Jac needs to give a speech and has turned to Teresa for help in writing it. There are just too many jokes to be made here so I’ll drink instead.
Cut to Melissa who wants us to think that a successful music producer has heard her music and wanted to meet her. This is stupid. Melissa cannot sing. Joe says he will support her 100%, but Melissa says her husband and kids come first. Really? She would sell them all down the river for fame so this entire scene is a waste of time. She is selling books.
Kathy is getting ready for her sad little cannoli party. Cute that she is doing her mom’s hair and did not have someone come do it. Rich does his slapstick, the kids show up, and the feeble attempt to make this funny only makes it sadder. These people are not funny, and are not relevant or interesting, so Bravo needs to let it go and spare us already. We don’t care.
Melissa is going to sing a new song, from a new songwriter, and making fun of her for not knowing the words. Maybe she can tape them on the floor like LeAnn Rimes. She is making a lot of excuses and delaying the inevitable. She cannot sing and they are going to see they flew in for nothing. Johnny Wright is making fun of her and I am laughing my ass off.
Kathy is at Dylan’s Candy Bar and nobody has shown up. Not any strangers, not any of her family and friends. Caroline fake sicks her way out of it, but Chris and Jac finally show so Jac can eat. Melissa shows, Teresa shows, and Rosie shows. Who cares? They all schlepped into the city by Bravo drivers and it is lame. None of them care about it.
Time for the Blk. autism event. Everyone is there and Jac is nervous to speak in front of a large group. She should have tweeted her speech. She has no issues there. She speaks, it is perfect, her kid is delicious, and everyone cries. Good for her. That’s is all I have to say about that. Do I think she milks it? Yes? Do I think the work matters? Yes.
Cut to Melissa and Joe, and her telling him she needs to work on her music more and it will involve her going to Orlando. They are at a nice dinner and surprise, surprise, Penny is at the bar. She gets a hot and freshly served meal and heads to the bar to talk to Penny? This show is ridiculous and Melissa is an idiot. Penny is out of control.
Penny says everything traces back to Teresa, Joe says Penny looks like whore you cannot trust, and the entire thing is stupid. I don’t know who is to blame here, Penny or Teresa, but if I had to pick a side, I’m going with Teresa. That said, next week we will get more Penny and one can only wonder what is really happening. Things are shown out of sequence so will never know.
This show sucks and these chicks will do anything for fame and money. There is nothing authentic about this show anymore. It was better before they all got famous, certainly better before Melissa joined, and this cast has overstayed their welcome. I’m ready to check out because Bravo thinks we are all stupid and insists on not keeping it real.