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The Real Housewives of New Jersey Implode

by Ilana Angel

May 21, 2012 | 8:14 am

Teresa needs to walk away.

Last week I wrote that I was no longer going to blog this show because it had become so dark and unappealing.  I then did an interview with one of my readers and she told me that I must see the season through as my blog was an outlet for many people to discuss the show and if they were all suffering through it, so should I.  Well, here I am, once again blogging about what may be the ugliest reality show on television, and there is lots to say.

We start this week in the car with Teresa and Juicy.  She is explaining to him what happened last week when she fought with her brother at Kathy’s house.  Juicy’s response is horrible.  Poor Teresa tries to defend him and it is heartbreaking.  He goes off on her, her family, and even the kids.  He is rude, abrasive, and vile.  He tells her to shut up and when she tells him to not say it, he gets even meaner.  It is uncomfortable to watch.

He tells her that nobody from her family is allowed in their house and if she tries to bring them over he will kick them out.  If she defies him, he will kick her out too.  He then goes on to say he swears on the lives of his children that he will leave her if she does not obey him.  Teresa is clearly mortified, and tries to laugh it off by saying he did not mean it.  That Bravo put his rant on the show is disgusting and I just wanted to cry.

Rich and Joe Gorga are in the gym working out and it pisses me off that they are even getting their own scenes.  This is about housewives not pathetic husbands who are looking for fame.  Rich is a tool.  He and Kathy try to make us think they are so loving and caring about family, but the fact is they are scripted that way, and not nice at all.  They are troublemakers and Kathy was clearly brought on to cause trouble with Teresa and Joe Gorga.

We then are forced to listen to Lauren Manzo complain about being fat.  It is humiliating for her and that she is even going along with this storyline is strange.  Her dad tells the camera he was glad she was fat in high school so guys would leave her alone.  Really?  Caroline then tells the camera she was too fat for her junior prom and her brother had to take her. WTF?  Caroline is crying that her kid is fat and I want to punch her in the face.

Important to note that punch her in the face is a figure of speech.  I would never really punch them in the face.  That said, should I be around one, and should my foot fall asleep and accidentally slide out from under me and land in front of a walking housewife, causing her to fall and perhaps land in some dog crap, or God forbid, knock out a tooth, it would simply be an unfortunate accident that truly had nothing to do with my mentioning a punch.

Teresa is on the phone with Jac telling her about the party at Kathy’s and it is hilarious.  She is having the entire conversation while she sits at her vanity looking at herself in the mirror.  I love Teresa.  Her kids are there, they can hear what she is saying, and it’s crushing.  Her little one is putting on makeup and I want to play with her.  These four children are stunning and you can’t help but wonder how they will be as teenagers and adults being raised by mom of the year Teresa, and Juicy, her ape of a husband.

Lauren is going shopping with Jac and once again talking about how fat she is. Jac talks about how Lauren is a great fake daughter and I want to scream. Ashlee may be a whining, spoiled brat, but can you blame her?  Her mom is a total bitch.  Lauren should not be a storyline, and if we are forced to watch her, why does it have to be about her weight?  Stop eating Sweetie.  Problem solved.  Jac is disgusting and Lauren is being humiliated.

Back with Teresa, she is with her daughters and it’s cute.  Truth be told, Bravo should cancel this crapfest and give Teresa her own show.  She’s the only interesting one.  Just her and her kids.  Gia is talking about getting her first bra and her period, and it is charming.  I’m not a fan of including the kids on this level, but it is sweet and proves they need their own show.  Gia is a sensitive girl and I feel sad for her.

Over at Jac’s house she is hosting a field day and you have to wonder how exhausting it is to live your life on television under the illusion of having money.  I’m not buying it.  Bravo pays for all the scripted parties because none of these people have the kind of money they want us to think they have.  Everyone is coming over to play and you know it is going to get real ugly, real fast.  There is no concern for the children on this show.

The Manzo’s and Jac are in her kitchen gossiping about Teresa.  Albie and his roommate Gary are there and it’s sweet.  Sad that they feel the need to hide their obvious love, but they are a cute couple and I wish them well. Lauren is there getting mocked for being on a diet, she lashed out and they think it’s because she is either on her period or starving.  Caroline should be ashamed of herself for humiliating her child in such a public way.

Teresa is out bra shopping with Gia and it’s fun.  Gia is a real sport to do this on the show.  Teresa is uncomfortable, Gia is uncomfortable, the sales clerk is uncomfortable, and this never should have made it onto the show.  Gia is only 10, but is clearly wise beyond her years.  Teresa talking to Gia makes me glad I don’t have a daughter.  She has to go through this with four girls so God Bless her.  That is a lot of work so good luck Momma!

Melissa and Joe Gorga are on their way to Kathy’s and there is a lovely scripted moment of Melissa reading a fake text from Joe, then pretending to support him and his family getting along.  They get there and she immediately starts gossiping about Teresa. Caroline is all over it, and Melissa is wearing shorts that are simply embarrassing.  No matter how great her body is, her shorts are inappropriate and showing your ass in front of company is not cute.

Jac, Melissa and Caroline are repulsive to me now and watching this show is hard.  Caroline can’t stand it that Dina is friends with Teresa and not her. Caroline is a bitter hag and is so toxic that everything she says sounds bad. Jac is roving around the party gossiping and I want to scream.  Kathy brings dessert and the camera pans to Lauren licking her lips and being pissed off. FYI:  nothing Chris Manzo says is interesting or funny.

Joe Gorga talks to Gia and tells her he will try to make things better with Teresa.  This poor little girl is protecting her mother and it’s so very sad. She is growing up fast and I feel for her.  This week seems to be all about Gia, and it’s troubling.  She is a child, they are setting her up for humiliation, and when it blows I’m going to be pissed off.  Joe Gorga says he wants to make a change but yet he does nothing.  We are not stupid Mr. Gorga.

Joe Gorga cheats at one of the games and Gia calls him out on it.  She is a little kid, wants to play fair, and is not mature enough to let it go and just have fun.  Teresa is trying to calm her down, but Gia leaves to go off on her own.  Jac then proves she has no parenting skills by attacking Gia.  She is a complete bitch and that she voluntarily puts her pathetic parenting on display proves how truly ignorant this woman is.

Caroline comes to talk to Gia and they are now attacking her.  Caroline and Jac need to be kicked off this show.  I am so angry watching it and shame on everyone for being involved.  My heart is broken for Gia and for Teresa. Caroline’s children have no jobs and Jac’s daughter hates her, so why do these two think they are qualified to give parenting advice to Teresa, or help guide Gia through a difficult situation?  Really ladies?  Shut up.

This show is painful. I feel sad for Teresa and her kids.  It’s time for them to walk away and start fresh with a different show, and perhaps not include Juicy.  I will watch, and I will blog, but know that it’s hard.  Maury Povich and Jerry Springer have classier shows than this. Part of me wants us all to boycott and simply not watch to send a message to Bravo that this is garbage television.  It wouldn’t work because Bravo is about ruining lives and making money, not keeping it real.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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