November 20, 2012 | 7:22 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
The main things we learned this week are that this show sucks without Brandi in it, Lisa is a grown up, Taylor is a drunk, Kyle is a witch, Adrienne is a bitch, Kim is a mess, and Yolanda is a snob. These women really have overstayed their welcome and it’s time for them to go away. By go away of course I mean Lisa and Brandi should have their own spin off show.
We start with Kim. Everything she says and does is sad to me. She is a mess but in such a sweet and endearing way. She is sending her youngest daughter off to prom and when she tells her to call her and steals a final glance through the blinds, while crying, I started crying. As a mother, watching her baby go, I could relate and loved her at that moment.
I find it hard to write about Kim because I truly think she should not be on this show. That they taped one month after she got out of rehab is offensive. She never should have exposed herself this way and those who love her never should have encouraged it. I get that she probably needs the money, but at what price? It feels like a very unhealthy choice and that is sad.
Yolanda is planning a dinner party and she is just so pretentious I can hardly stand it. She name drops as if the names are her personal friends, when really they are friends of her husband, who have seen him through many wives. She is pretty, and seems lovely, but come on. She married well, likes to flaunt her wealth, and is simply not that interesting or endearing.
Kyle is teaching her daughter to parallel park and honestly people, I just can’t get into her. I think she is fake and pretentious, a liar, and a fame whore. I find her to be boring, with a train wreck vibe. I don’t trust her and would be surprised to hear that anyone trusted her. She is a mean girl who will step on your head to get propel herself. Not my kind of girl.
Lisa arrives to Kyle’s for tea. It is scripted and fake and I feel bad for Lisa that they make her do these ridiculous drive bys. Kyle is meddling in the fight between Adrienne and Lisa. Really? It is hilarious that the one who causes so much drama is trying to stop drama. Lisa is a grown up, and a lady, and she is the only one I respect. I like others, but I respect her.
Yolanda is prepping for her dinner party and says she should be Martha Stewarts daughter. I think she meant sister, but okay. Her home is magnificent, her life is magnificent, and she belongs on this show. I’m not sure if I like her, but there is an underlying kindness to her pretentiousness that I find a little endearing. Still, I’m not sure I like her.
Adrienne and Paul go to pick up Kim for the dinner. Kim is sweet, Paul thinks we care about what he says, and Adrienne is a complete and total bitch. Everything about her stinks of bitterness. Paul is pissed at Lisa and in complaining about her sounds like a whining little girl. There is tension before they even get there, and is it me or does Kim seem tipsy?
It is dinnertime. Yolanda is talking about how fabulous she is. Again. I love that she takes such ownership of the home she built simply by marrying well. Good for her. Kyle and Taylor arrive. Sidebar: Can we talk about the fridge? Dear Lord. The Foster home truly is perfection and I want to check in for a weeklong holiday. She can be very proud of that house.
Lisa arrives, then Adrienne, Kim and Paul. The gang is all here so let the games begin. As soon as Paul enters, Lisa turns and walks away. Kyle tries to stir up trouble, Paul is immediately an asshole, and Lisa could care less. David Foster arrives and makes the rounds. He is sweet, Canadian, and I love him for not remembering Kyle’s name. Best part of the night!
Taylor is wasted and making a fool out of herself. To clarify: Brandi never said that she slept with every man in Beverly Hills. What she said was that Yolanda slept with everyone in Beverly Hills. Am I wrong? They have shown it over and over again, and Brandi said Yolanda was the slut, not herself. I don’t get why it is not being corrected. They all know what was said.
David tells the story of how he met Yolanda through Mohammed. He seems like a nice enough guy. I love Canadians. Lisa is charming, Kyle is vulgar, and Taylor is hammered. David loves his wife and I hung on his every word when he was speaking of her. He goes back and forth to the piano, which I think is fantastic. I want to go to one of their sing-a-long dinner parties.
Kyle speaks as if Kim was not a part of her childhood, which is weird. David is telling stories and Kyle wants everything to be about her. Kyle is a pig. I know I keep saying it, but seriously, this chick has no manners, no class, no personality, and there is truly nothing interesting about her. A singing friend of Yolanda arrives and we are moving to the piano.
Kyle and Taylor start singing Amazing Grace and I want to kill myself. They are mortifying. Taylor loses her mind and goes full blown bitch. Some guy from American Idol starts singing and I have no idea who he is. I have watched every season of American Idol and I honestly do not remember him. Botti is playing the trumpet, Foster is on the piano, and it is great.
Taylor is complaining about them playing Danny Boy. She’s not into funeral songs. I guess killing your husband leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Yolanda wraps it up and tells everything it is over. I love that she is kicking them all out. She fed them, entertained them, and now it is over. New decision: I like Yolanda. It will probably change, but tonight she rocks.
The editing of the party sucks because we go from Yolanda ending the evening, to them all dancing and singing. Bravo editing truly blows. Probably because they don’t have any good footage and need to cut and paste everything to make a show. The episode ends with Lisa heading off to have a drink with Adrienne to try to fix what is broken.
Adrienne invites Lisa, and Lisa is a grown up, so she agrees to go. Adrienne says it is time to move on. Translation: She needs to make piece with Lisa so she gets more airtime because we like Lisa and think Adrienne is a pathetic loser. Next week Brandi is back and dropping F Bombs, so it will be entertaining again. We can always count on Brandi to keep it real.
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12.10.13 at 8:55 am | Carlton can stay, Joyce should go.
12.8.13 at 9:55 pm | Momma Joyce is all kinds of crazy.
12.7.13 at 8:49 am | What the hell is Bravo giving us?
12.7.13 at 7:29 am | I'm not going to lie, these women and the men. . .
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire.
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television.
12.10.13 at 8:55 am | Carlton can stay, Joyce should go. (3551)
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire. (2227)
12.7.13 at 8:49 am | What the hell is Bravo giving us? (1583)