July 16, 2012 | 11:29 pm

The Bachelorette Men Tell All Recap

Posted by Ilana Angel

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This episode comes every season and I have yet to see the point.  What is it with The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise that makes them want to recap every single thing?  There are some funny moments I suppose, but in the end I would be perfectly fine without the tell all specials.

That said, the men are more entertaining than the women.  Why?  Because watching a bunch of men act like women is funny.  Rather than my regular recap, I will simply give a list of things worth mentioning.  By worth mentioning of course I mean this show is worthless, but here we go.

• Chris Harrison’s hand gestures bug me
• Emily has a potty mouth
• Ryan is smoking hot
• Emily’s bras makes her boobs too pointy
• Doug is my favorite bachelor of the season
• Bachelor Pad will be perfection
• Harrison is flirting with Emily
• Emily’s fake ponytail is beyond ugly
• Harrison is too old to host Bachelor Pad
• I freaking love Vienna
• Chris is a moron and a pig
• Kalon is a douchelord
• I love Charlie
• Stevie needs a new haircut
• Sean may in fact be perfect
• Chris has no chin
• I am wasting two hours of my life
• I only care about the Bachelor Pad commercials
• Sean should be the next Bachelor
• Chris wants to be just like Sean
• Kalon wants to kill Emily
• The bloopers were not funny

This truly was a waste of our time and I could care less about who she picks because she is not going to marry Jef or Arie.  I think Jef may be a woman and Arie is a fame whore, so what difference does it make?  A three hour finale on Sunday night is going to require a lot of booze.

The best part of Sunday is going to be the drinking.  I haven’t decided what my drink of choice will be, but I will be getting sloshed as I watch, in my wedding dress, and blogging as I go.  We have nearly survived another season! I will see you Sunday and I will be keeping it real.

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