There are parts of this show that are so fake I find myself questioning my sanity to watch it every season. The thing is, there are moments of such raw reality when you get a group of women together, that sitting through two hours a week to get a couple of authentic chicks bashing chicks action is so worth it. Week two with Sean, and the ladies are already cracking.
Sarah gets the first one-on-one date and I am happy for her. She talks a lot about having only one arm and it is a little annoying. She has one arm. Got it. When she goes on and on about her arm we realize how nasally and monotone she is. She is not going to be the last one standing and I feel bad for her. That she professes her love to Sean on date one is sad.
His not picking her has nothing to do with her having one arm. It is because she is flat. God bless her. They go on a helicopter ride to downtown LA, then freefall 300 ft from the top of a building. Really? Who does this on a first date? Or any date? It’s lame and I would never do it. Even if my beloved George Clooney asked me to do it, it just ain’t happening.
Sean is on an adventure and Sarah is proving to the world she does not have a disability. They jump, she is normal, and he feels like the hero who helped her define herself as normal. She is in love and I feel for her. It will be interesting to see when in the process he dumps her. Can’t be too far in because that’s mean, but too soon and he’s a douche.
It’s group date time and I cannot go forward without saying Katie has the most unfortunate hair and I don’t get why she did not bring a straightener with her. They are off for a photo shoot with Sean for Harlequin romance novels. Some girls are nervous and others are beyond excited. Kristy the model wants the job more than she wants the man.
Tierra is getting on people’s nerves. Most of them are getting on my nerves. Tierra is on a mission to win and does not seem to care about who Sean is. She would want to win no matter who the Bachelor was. She was a top pick of mine last week and so I blame it on the wine! They go from the photo shoot to drinks by the pool. Let the games begin.
Kacie is creepy. By creepy of course I mean she is unstable and that they brought her back is casting genius. Lesley M. takes Sean inside for a chat and tells him she is there for love. Really? When he asked her what she wanted did he expect her to say anything else? I’m here for 15 minutes of fame and to come back as the Bachelorette. Thanks for asking!
Sean wants to kiss her but she is an idiot and shuts him down without even knowing it. She has no game and no guts. She says she is traditional and Southern, but the truth is she is just dumb. She goes back and kisses him and it is awkward and cringe worthy. Kacie takes him off for a chat and seriously, she is not well. I don’t like her.
Catherine is silly, Selma is drooling, Tierra is hated. Sean takes her off alone and tells her he is into her and she needs to trust him. Poor thing. She is going to lose her mind soon and go crazy. I cannot wait. I cannot listen to anything that Katie says because her hair is just too ridiculous. She goes to talk to Sean and tells him she is not into it.
Katie tells Sean she wants to go home and he walks her out. I will miss making fun of her hair. Bye Katie. Sean gives the date rose to Kacie and ladies are pissed. Sweet Tierra is going to kill people. Hooray! Desiree gets the next one-on-one and he is going to mess with her. They are in a fake gallery and something is going to get broken and blamed on her.
She is sweet, the piece breaks and her reaction is boring. This stunt was an epic fail. Sean tries to sell it as her being a good sport and having a great sense of humor but we didn’t see that. This date was stupid. They are off to Sean’s house for dinner. Everyone will hate her for getting the first date at his house. They set up the nice ones to have a tough time.
Desiree has the same type of family as Sean and they are super cute together. Their families will mesh and he is digging her. She is now my frontrunner. Sean says it could be a match and it is cute. They change into bathing suits and head to the hot tub. They talk love and marriage and the scene will be replayed for years on their anniversary.
It is cocktail party time. With Katie gone only 2 more will be sent home tonight. Watching 2 hours to have only 3 chicks leave is lame. They should cut at least 5 a week. Lindsay, wedding dress chick, is an army brat and her dad is a General. She is cute but it is not going to happen for her here. The women are getting desperate and making moves.
Amanda is reality television perfection. She is sullen and bitter. She makes the other women uncomfortable and I love it. Robyn asks Sean if he is into women of color. Good for her. He tells her he has dated a lot of different types of women and she has as good a shot as anyone. It’s actually a sweet moment. I liked her question and I liked his answer.
Sean takes Amanda off on their own and it is Jekyll and Hyde. She goes from being quiet and aloof to warm and fuzzy. She has got to go before a bunny turns up on the stove. Sweet Desiree is getting all high and mighty about what Sean deserves and I like her a little less. Sean heads off to contemplate their fate while they all guess who is going.
Crazy Amanda gets the last rose and I am thrilled. Single mother Diana is out, along with Brooke. I think Brooke is gorgeous and sweet so it’s a drag she got the boot. Sean tells Diana he is not feeing it and didn’t want to keep her from her girls. Blah. Blah. Blah. She never had a shot in hell. I love to hate this show and find myself getting sucked in deep.
Next week they want us to think Tierra is thrown down a flight of stairs but it won’t be that. Damn it. Violence is never the answer of course, but someone tossing someone down the stairs would be awesome, and totally realistic. I will be here next week and think I’ll switch my beverage from wine to margaritas to keep it fresh, and keep it real.
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