September 15, 2011 | 5:02 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
The best thing about Big Brother ending is it means Survivor is starting. I love this show and for the past few years I look forward to it with hope they will shake it up and give us something new and fresh. I loved Russell and having him back was enough to keep me interested, but I’m not sure this cast, Coach and Ozzie included, will keep me hooked for the season.
You can tell who will be great and who will suck, but there is nobody sticking out as a much watch. It could still happen of course, but it’s a little disappointing that we were not given a taste of something good from the get go. If I had to pick a favorite out of the gate, it’s Jim the pot salesman. I can tell I’m going to dig this guy. My least favorite is Russell’s nephew Brandon.
I automatically don’t like people who throw out comparisons to Hitler on reality television. Really? He says that if people knew he was Russell’s nephew, they would look at him like he was Hitler. Seriously? It‘s Survivor you dumb ass and nobody is comparing you to Hitler. Moron. Stupid is not entertaining and as far as I’m concerned, he can go home quickly.
Sidebar: I will never understand why it is that Jeff Probst keeps winning an Emmy, year after year, for hosting this show. He’s charming to be sure, but is there any talent behind those fabulous dimples? He is edited into perfection, whereas Tom Bergeron is great live, and robbed of his Emmy each year. Even Ryan Seacrest should win an Emmy over Probst.
Ozzie and Coach go head to head to win fire for their tribes. Ozzie wins it. No surprise there. They win as a team and everyone heads back to camp. I felt bad for Coach and he looked so sad to have lost. Everyone leaves him but some young chick names Edna. She offers to help him carry his stuff and it’s a really sweet moment. Damn it! I’m hooked at minute 15.
At camp, Ozzie’s team is mellow and not stressed, while Coach and his gang are a little frantic. Ozzie is lusting over some poet chick who is already bugging the crap out of me. Her name is Semhar and she is all about using her boobs for attention because she knows her personality won’t be enough to do it. I wonder if Jim brought some pot with him since it’s medicinal?
Ozzie’s team goes swimming to bond and get to know each other. No pressure to build shelter. Cochran the young Harvard student is hilarious, but they are going to eat him alive. Coach is rallying the troops to get the camp organized. I like Coach. He’s a little creepy, but inherently good and I hope they don’t dump him too soon. They should dump Brandon and Christine.
Pothead Jim tells everyone he is a science teacher, but is really an MBA holding, poker playing, weed salesman. I freaking love this guy. Gay old guy Mark is sweet and I like him. Dawn the old chick is a hot mess and needs to go on a walk with Jim so she can “relax”. So funny that she makes Bob Marley references to Ozzie when Jim is a better comparison.
Brandon is covered in tats, talks about how he was a bully, and now his life is all about God. Mikayla is one of the pretty girls and she is all about showing off her body, which is confusing and uncomfortable to Brandon, who does not want to be faced with temptation. Praise Jesus, this could get good. They show Brandon lusting after her through the trees and it’s brilliant.
Alliances are being made and it’s necessary and predictable, but lame. They are talking about how they feel so comfortable together, but really? You’ve known each other for 5 minutes. I get that alliances need to be made, and quickly, but use your heads people. Dawn is having a full blown nervous breakdown and I’m laughing. Not with her, but at her.
Cochran is hoping his charm and humor will keep him around. Really? Good luck with that Sweetie. It’s challenge time. They are playing for team immunity and a clue for the immunity idle. Ozzie is a beast and the poet volunteers to be a coconut thrower, which is an important part of the challenge. Cochran is super weak and Semhar is totally useless.
There is a guy named Albert, who pulls Brandon up a 10 foot wall, alone, with just his arms, and I must tell you it caught my breath. I was so focused on Ozzie and Brandon that I forgot to fall in love with Mr. Hunkiness. It was amazing. I cannot tell you what he looked like, but when he pulled him up, it was all over for me. I love you Albert. Truly. Love.
Semhar loses the challenge for her team and Ozzie and the gang are headed to tribal council. She goes around camp trying to talk people into voting off poor Cochran. Rather than go around and try to save himself, he is wallowing is self pity and talking to the camera about how insecure he is, instead of trying to get them to dump the poet. Kind of dumb for a kid at Harvard.
Tribal council is on, and it’s going to be either Cochran or Semhar going home. Right decision. Poor Ozzie will need to find someone else to make out with. Everything old is new again with this show, but whatever. I’m watching, I’m blogging, I’m certain Brandon will not be anywhere near the player Russell was, and I hope Jim lights up a doobie. That would be keeping it real!
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