We start with Ramona, who is doing a photo shoot with her dog. She is doing a calendar for her daughter Avery to have on her dorm wall at university. There is no shot in hell that calendar will get hung at school. The photographer is clearly mortified to be taking these pictures and his facial expressions are perfect. Sonja drops by for a visit.
Sonja has filed bankruptcy and is trying to save her home. Ramona is not kind to Sonja and I wonder how it is they have a friendship. Sonja appears to be in denial about what is going on in her life and to hear her ramble off a list of great things she has going on is sad. By sad of course I wean we laugh that she thinks we believe anything she says.
Cut to Heather, she is at a doctor appointment with her son Jax and husband Jonathan. Jax is a gorgeous boy and dealing with the loss of hearing. I think it is brave of them to share this and my heart breaks for this family as they have been through so much with the health of their beautiful son. I will pray for them and hope his hearing can be restored.
Sidebar: Reality television is ridiculous and the housewives franchise is a train wreck, but we watch it and we love it. It is when we are shown the real challenges of these women that we are reminded why we began watching in the first place. There is not a lot of reality in reality TV but I respect Heather for reminding us they struggle just like all of us.
We jump to Kristen and Aviva who are on a play date with their kids. Aviva bugs the crap out of me and I don't like her. She is mean and brings nothing of interest. Kristen makes fun of Ramona’s eyes, which is funny, but Aviva takes offence and is on the defensive. Kristen tells Aviva she wants to be done with the drama of "bookgate".
Aviva tells Kristen that she needs to rein it in and not be hostile around the kids. Kristen tells her she just wants to move on and Aviva tells her to shut the F up, in front of the kids. Aviva is an idiot and Kristen is not standing for it. She stands up to Aviva as best as she can, but you cannot fight with stupid so there is no point. Kristen is seeing the real Aviva.
Kristen is a wonderful addition to this show and I am sure Aviva will go after her out of jealousy. To Aviva I say back off Kristen. We love her and think you are a moron. Enough about that. We head to the Hamptons where everyone is spending the Fourth of July. Heather is on the beach with her family and smoking body, when Carole comes by for a visit.
Carole asks when the fireworks are and Jonathan says they will happen when Heather sees Aviva. Hilarious. Carole still wants to talk about Aviva dissing her writing and I’m bored. Carole says she is not paying attention to it, but it is all she talks about and it makes her look silly. Heather is waiting to hear from the doctor about ear surgery for Jax. I love Heather.
Over to Ramona and her cheating husband, they are playing tennis with Countless and Jacques. Mario and Ramona are very competitive, clearly don’t like each other, and it is odd to watch them fake it. Kristen and Josh arrive but they are wearing the wrong shoes so they are not allowed on the court. Dear Lord. Kristen’s shoes have ended tennis.
Kristen tells Ramona she missed her at Heather’s party. Ramona tells her she boycotted the event out of loyalty to Aviva. Really? She never wanted to go. LuAnn agrees Ramona should have told Heather she was not coming, and Ramona is a bitch about it. Ramona yells at Kristen, telling her she doesn’t get it, and I wish Ramona had been fired too.
Ramona doesn’t want Kristen involved, yet she involves herself in everything with everyone. Maybe if Ramona paid more attention to her husband and not to the other women, she would have noticed his cheating sooner. Jumping to Heather, the doctor calls and tells her Jax will benefit from the surgery and we both cry about it. I love this family.
Time for a party at Ramona’s house and everyone is coming. Ramona is pushing her wine and Sonja tells her it has a burning taste upon swallowing. Ramona is livid and informs us her palette is good. Kristen arrives and Ramona takes her off alone to say she is annoyed with her for saying anything about her blowing off Heather’s party.
Ramona is an idiot. She is talking a mile a minute and is being rude to her guests. Ramona is now screaming and acting like a lunatic, but Kristen takes it in stride. Ramona lifts her glass to cheer and says stay out of my business. Kristen tells her to stay out of her business. Bravo. Ramona walks off as Heather and Carole arrive to the party.
Heather goes straight to Ramona and calls her a bitch for blowing off her party. Ramona tells her she didn’t come because she was a hypocrite and Heather tells Ramona she is the hypocrite. Ramona denies calling her a hypocrite. Is Ramona drunk again? She just said it! The conversation ends before it begins and we get a gem from Mario.
He is talking about golf with Heather and she says it is a dumb game and she kicks the ball into the hole. He accuses her of cheating, she says he cheats, at golf, he says she must be more discreet, and says the best cheaters are the ones who get away with it. It is all said in front of Ramona and I am laughing. Mario is a pig and Ramona must dump him.
Sonja is talking to Ramona about all her business offers for tons of dollars and Ramona tells Sonja she heard her caburlesque was raunchy. Sonja is offended and clearly Ramona is talking shit to get back at her the burning wine comment. It is a wonder Ramona has any friends. I think Sonja is nuts but I adore her and she is a good friend.
Ramona is being mean to her, Countless has forgotten her manners, and Sonja walks away from them both. Sonja says she is leaving the party and going where she is respected and valued. Ramona apologizes but she doesn't mean it, and Sonja tells her it is too late because she already put it out there. Sonja calls Ramona out on being a bitch.
Aviva comes over to mediate. Ramona fake cries and tells her she is sorry. No tears, no crying. They kiss and make up and I feel bad for Sonja. She does not need a friendship with Ramona. She has all of us to support her and build her up. Sonja calls out LuAnn for being mean and LuAnn tells her she is sorry too.
Sonja does not accept her apology and says LuAnn is a drag queen trapped in a woman’s body. Oh. My. God. Kristen makes a note to never go to the Hamptons with this bunch again. Amen sister. Time for the clam bake Kristen has planned. Everyone has arrived and some are more drunk than others. There will be drama.
Carole is talking to Mario and Aviva, at Heather’s suggestion, goes to talk to her and I am bored. Who cares about this? Aviva is a bitch, Carole is a child, and none of this is of interest to anyone. Blah, bah, blah. The same argument is going on and I can’t. Arms start flying, voices are raised, and Heather goes over to mediate the mess.
Both talk over each other and neither one listens. They have got to let this book thing go. LuAnn also tries to help but sits on Carole, thus ending the chat. Aviva manages to pull out a yet to be released copy of Carole’s book, claiming to have read it and loving it. She never read it and is only trying to prove she is big in publishing.
In the end this week was only made interesting by Heather and Kristen, while Ramona and Aviva tried to suck the joy out of it. I love Sonja, but find her Grey Gardens behavior difficult to watch. I will keep watching, not because it is good, but because I am addicted and can't stop. Luckily we have Kristen and Heather to keep it real.
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