August 19, 2012 | 5:28 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Back from my vacation in Canada, I returned to what may be the most horrific episode of the Real Housewives of New York City. These chicks are completely insane and I’m not sure why I was so anxious to see what I missed. It is 2 in the afternoon and yes, I am drinking.
We start with Carole having a holiday party, which is fake. I’m guessing Bravo made her do it because Carole is above being this ridiculous. That said, it could be that in the end Carole is as ridiculous as all of them. She’s either a nut job or regretting she went on the show.
Aviva’s dad George is at the party and all I can say is enough already. He is not appealing, shocking, or entertaining. I hate to disrespect my elders, but George is a pig. It’s a secret Santa party and whoever bought the gifts is smoking the same Bravo weed that created the Manzo-a-thon.
Heather is at the shoot for Sonja’s toaster oven and she is out of control. She is a control freak who is helping Sonja to get credit, not because she is a giver. I want to like her and kind of did in the beginning, but every time she speaks I like her less. However, I do now want a toaster oven.
Sonja is being Sonja, Heather is being crazy, and I have a headache. Heather has known Sonja for 5 minutes yet thinks she knows what is best for her? Heather already got the gig on the show so why is she trying to be relevant? We’re watching her but she can go.
The next few minutes are dedicated to Sonja’s period. Dear Lord. I am not going to blog about the scene other than to say that Sonja is a mess and I question not only her mental health, but what the fallout will be in terms of her young child that this is how she publically portrays herself.
This show has hit an all time low. It is disgusting and forced and there is no way we will stick with it if this is what Bravo is going to give us. We have our limits and unless Bravo is going to start passing out wine and weed to all of us who watch, we might need to bail.
Heather is still complaining about not getting credit and I’m bored. By bored of course I mean I think Heather needs to follow in the footsteps of Cindy Barshop and be a one season girl. I can’t spend any more time trying to like her because in the end I just don’t think it will happen.
Sidebar: I hear the photo shoot for Sonja, which both Sonja and Heather want to take credit for, was shot at Bravo on their dime, which we all knew, so that they are trying to take credit for a scripted photo shoot paid for by Bravo proves we are dealing with morons.
Carole has the ladies over for lunch and wants to order pizza but the ladies don’t do pizza. I like Carole. She is fun and uncomplicated, and stands out from these whack jobs in a real way. She invited the ladies to join her in St. Barts and Crazy Island the sequel is about to suck us in.
Aviva does not want to go without her husband much like Alex and Simon. She talks a lot about not wanting to be known for her leg or neurosis, but if that were true she would stop focusing on them. It’s all she ever talks about when not gossiping behind everyone’s back.
Ramona is having a party to honor herself and it’s hilarious. I’m almost 2 glasses of wine in and I’m loving it. Her magazine covers are lame and she is lame. She immediately grabs Sonja and wants to get the dirt on Heather. Sonja is being Sonja and Ramona is putting words in her mouth.
The entire party is stupid and that Heather would even go is pathetic. She was forced to go. Sonja is talking to Heather and Ramona comes over and throws Sonja under the bus. It becomes a bunch of mean girls yelling at each other and I’m done. These chicks are embarrassing.
Important to note that watching Ramona and Avery take a yoga class makes me want to stick my hand down my throat and remove my own kidney. Additionally, if I were a jet setting socialite I would die before inviting this lot to a party at my house. Was 2 seconds on camera worth it?
Aviva is stirring trouble about the wine party, which was a million years ago, Jacques arrives and she can’t let it go. Instead of starting trouble Aviva should spend her time finding a new colorist. These women hate each other in real life and it shows on this train wreck.
The fighting is getting old. Jacques is in fact French. Ramona is lit. Aviva is a yenta. Carole needs to jump ship. LuAnn needs to make toast for her poached eggs. Sonja needs to stop drinking, and Heather needs to realize that all great ideas are not hers. This show is rough to watch.
Next week will be good. That said, every week I say the next week will be good and it never is. With each week that passes I miss Jill and Alex more, and am one step closer to being featured on Intervention. Like all addicts I will be back next week, drinking and keeping it real.
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