I waited all week for part 2 of this 3 week crap fest and it was worth the wait. Not because it was particularly compelling television, or because they answered our burning questions, but because it is blogging gold. These chicks are a mess and watching them implode is fascinating. Watching their die hard fans explode on Twitter is even more entertaining.
Housewives fans are intense. The most outspoken people come out to play for the women of New Jersey. In the interest of full disclosure, know that this is my blog and I share my opinions. Also, know that I think Teresa is divine, Caroline is bitter, Jac is pathological, and Melissa is delusional. Kathy who? If this is going to set you off, just stop reading now.
Last week ended with Rosie threatening to kill Teresa and we pick up with Rosie wanting to cut out her tongue. It starts when Kathy calls Teresa’s mom a liar, so Teresa says her father was a better father to her than her own, and all hell breaks loose. Rosie is loveable enough, but at this particular moment, she is a crazy person.
Teresa turns to Andy for help and he does not help her. Andy is invisible and does nothing to make the reunions entertaining or informative. Caroline is trying to help stop the madness and we are seeing the old Caroline from season one. It’s sad because I loved Caroline in the beginning and to see glimpses of her is a drag because she really was great.
Everyone is yelling when Melissa joins in and tells Teresa she is the real victim. Really? Melissa is the victim? Melissa is a fame whore who sold her soul to the devil for fame. Important to note: when I interviewed Teresa, it was her on the phone while she grocery shopped. When I spoke to Melissa, it was her and her publicist while she was in a limo.
Rosie comes out to join on the couch and Fishcrotch gives her the “remember what we scripted” look. At least I think that was the look. Kathy’s face is pulled so tight I could have misread it and it was really the “What is that smell? Oh it’s me.” look. Rosie is talking about her coming out this season to her family and tells us Kathy's kids never knew.
Does she think those teenagers did not know she was gay? Helen Keller would have known she was gay. I love Rosie, but feel like she sold herself out this season, and went from being fun Rosie to predictable and manipulated Rosie. That Rosie is not as cute. I would watch Rosie on her own show because she is great, and shame on Bravo for using her for lame storylines.
The show takes a break and comes back with Andy telling us they “shuffled the deck” to explain why Teresa has switched couches. Really Andy? We are not dumb. Your editors on the other hand, are morons. Kathy and Teresa are going at it and Kathy apologizes for calling Teresa’s mom a liar. Teresa accepts her apology and moves back to the fishy side of the couch.
Caroline is clearly hurt by Teresa, but the constant bashing is giving me a headache. Everyone is picking on Teresa relentlessly and it’s becoming quite boring. Teresa calls Caroline a bully but cannot specifically mention one time when it happened. I feel bad for Caroline. I think she saw the season, realized how she looked, and is trying to get back to her old self.
Caroline calls Teresa out as a hypocrite for slamming Melissa and Kathy for going on the show, when Teresa did the same by brining Dina on the show to talk about Caroline. Really? Dina in one scene is equivalent to Melissa blindsiding Teresa by coming on the show? It is quite a stretch in my opinion,but I get the point Caroline is trying to make. Nice try.
We see a film package on Melissa and Teresa says she can’t sing without auto-tune, so Melissa sings a little. I don’t have an opinion on her singing. By not having an opinion of course I mean she cannot sing. Melissa says Teresa can’t cook, and it is her mother who prepares food and Teresa takes credit. Blah. Blah. Blah. Who cares? Melissa needs to stop yelling.
Melissa tells Andy that she is selling her house so her kids don’t have to go to the same school as Teresa’s. It was a total bitch move and brought the kids into it. Those girls will grow up hearing that their cousin moved so she would not be around them. What good can come of that? The more probable truth is she selling her house because they need the money.
The yelling is just too much. Andy is not moderating, or participating. He is annoying. Teresa needs to get off this show. There is no coming back from this drama. She needs her own show, with her friends, Juicy, and her kids. That will be good television. They need to replace the remaining four and start fresh as many will bail if this group is back.
Juicy Joe joins the couch and I’m back in. I love Juicy and am not ashamed to admit it. He appears to not give a crap about any of it and I love him for that. Andy wants to know about Juicy cheating and the conversation in Napa. I’m disgusted now, as I was then. Shame on Bravo for even including it. This is of no interest to me. Who cares?
We watch a show about the women and what happens in their marriages is fair game of course because they signed up for this, but for Bravo to have manipulated the situation, for us to see things a certain way, in order to cause drama and drum up ratings, is pathetic and I will not comment on it. I’m a writer with an opinion, not a gossip columnist.
Teresa and Juicy are open to all questions and when Jac pipes in, they tell her to go ahead. Jac tells everyone that Juicy cheats, they are physically abusive to each other, and he has slept with a lot of women. Jac is a lush, who is clearly medicated, and needs to be fired so she can try to salvage her life and focus on her kids and husband.
Sidebar: I happen to think Jacqueline Laurita is a liar. I also think she used the sensitive and heartbreaking story of her child’s illness to gain sympathy and support when the fans were turning on her and her hate. She refers to her son as the “autistic” one, which I find to be reprehensible. To her fans, just because her child has challenges, does not make her a saint.
Jac is losing her mind and spewing all kinds of crap about Tre and Juicy. It’s sad. The show ends as it began, with yelling. Next week will be the final episode and the husbands will join in. My hopeful heart prays Joe Gorga and Teresa will find peace, but I doubt it. This show has run it’s course but I’ll stick around for the last installment and keep it real.
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