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Real Housewives of OC - Same Ladies, New Faces

by Ilana Angel

April 1, 2013 | 6:45 pm

We have been waiting for what seems like forever for these chicks to get back.  I’ve got 20 bucks that says I’ll be sick of them by episode 3, but here we go!  We start with Vicki who has had a chin implant, fat injections, and a new nose.  She looks great, but not really like Vicki.  I like her but think it is sad that she changed her face based on what stupid people said. Brooks the human turd is gone and Brianna is moving in with her husband and new baby.

Heather looks great and her kids have really grown up.  She is having all the women over for a clambake, except for Alexis.  Good for her.  She is not going to be forced into a friendship with a chick she does not like and I think that is fabulous.  I also think it is nice to have what appears to be a normal Jew on television.  Reality Jews are always freaks and she is the great Jewish hope at the moment.  Time will tell if she is a reality freak or likeable.

Tamra has moved in with Eddie and they are planning their wedding.  She is trying really hard to appear to be a domestic goddess but I’m not convinced.  Eddie is very bossy and controlling and she is seeing him in a new light.  I never got them together and still don’t.  I was not a fan of Simon so I was happy to see that end, but sadly it would appear she is dating the same kind of man, which is unfortunate.  It’s all crap of course I am projecting on things we have not even seen yet, but time with tell if I called it right from the start.

We are in the hospital with Vicki and she is about to become a grandmother. Hilarious that she is making it all about her.  She is ready, she will be a grandmother, she is excited.  Classic Vicki.  Over with Tamra, she is shopping with Gretchen and I am amazed at what these women shoot into their faces. They are super tight in the most unattractive way.   Vicki blames Tamra for her break up with Brooks and thinks Tamra is at fault for their friendship being over.  How old are these women?  It is very sad that any of them are on television.

They gossip about Alexis and how she has jumped on the bully bandwagon. They don’t like her, mock her faith, and it is sad.  I don’t like it when people make fun of faith.  Back at the hospital labor has now been 18 hours and there is no baby so a C Section is scheduled.  Baby Troy is born and he is gorgeous.  Again Vicki makes it all about her and how her life is changing. Whatever.  Babies are the greatest blessing and I am happy for them.  All of them, not just Vicki.

Gretchen calls Slade because, are you sitting down, he has a job.  I do not know what she sees in him.  With or without a job, Slade is a loser.  Gretchen wants us to think her company of handbags and makeup are thriving.  Really? I have never seen anyone using one of her bags and think she is full of shit.  Alexis has bought a new house and she wants us to know it is 6000 square feet.  She still loves Jim and Jesus.  In his first two minutes on camera he belittles her.

Alexis says she is best friends with Tamra and I wonder if Tamra knows. She misses Gretchen but we know Gretchen does not miss her. Whatever. Clambake time. Heather’s house is perfection. Vicki is nervous for everyone to see her still swollen face, Tamra is nervous to see Vicki and the gossiping begins.  I don’t get why we are watching a show where the first hour is spent explaining that none of them like each other.  Dear Lord. It is going to be a long season.

Tamra and Gretchen look like twins and it is lame.  They are there for 30 seconds and Tamra and Gretchen want the seating changed but Heather is not having it.  Vicki arrives and the show ends without our seeing how everyone reacts to each other.  It is going to be a season of fake friendships, screaming, and sucking up for camera time.  God help us all.  I will have a drinking problem by week 3.  The things I do for my job!  I’ll be watching, drinking and keeping it real.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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