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Real Housewives of NYC – Spring Break Continues

by Ilana Angel

September 11, 2012 | 8:44 am

Photo by Michael Rosenthal/Bravo

For reasons I do not understand, we are still trapped on the island with the ladies.  I use the word ladies but let’s be clear, we are dealing with a couple of ladies and a bunch of skanks.  I was going to call them white trash but that seems unkind to white trash.  These chicks are behaving badly, acting like children, and pushing me to my limit.  This show is not good television.

The women on this show are like a group of kids on spring break.  There are the slutty ones, drunk ones, prude ones, and the plain old crazy ones.  They are mean spirited, selfish, hurtful, and immature.  It is amazing that they continue to make this show when all they do is humiliate their children, embarrass themselves, and alienate all those who watch them.

This prolonged visit to hell begins with Aviva telling Russ, Carole and Reid that the vibe between the four of them is perfect.  Really?  Aviva is selfish and only worries about herself and her husband.  She preaches about not wanting to be known for her neurosis, but it’s all she talks about.  In the end she is annoying and I am over her.  She is unleashing her inner mean girl.

Sonja is having a hangover breakfast and is beyond hilarious.  She is going on about being called white trash and I am dying it is so funny.  Ramona Googles “white trash” on her iPad.  Seriously? If you are using an iPad to determine if you are white trash, you are not white trash.  Ramona and Sonja are in their own little world and it’s the best part of the island.

Carole goes to get Ramona and Sonja and it’s a drag because Carole is becoming less appealing, and for a moment I was on the side of the drunky sisters. Honestly, thinking Ramona and Sonja make sense causes me to wonder if I am having a stroke.  Ramona and Sonja are right and Carole screwed up the weekend by changing what the weekend was meant to be.

Aviva walks into the room, uninvited, and the ridiculousness continues.  Aviva is a crazy person.  By crazy person of course I mean money can’t buy you class.  She is mean, hurtful, and frankly, an idiot.  Her argument is stupid.  She is talking about wanting a banner welcoming her.  I want to push her in the pool.  She is making crap up in her head and it’s all rather delusional.

Carole has a holier than thou attitude.  She stirs up trouble but acts like she is above the rest and somehow better by not getting caught up in the drama. She doesn’t get caught up in it because she causes it and walks away.  She invited the girls for a holiday and then changed what it was.  By invited of course I mean Bravo forced her to include the girls on her plans.

They go out for dinner and Carole is sulking about her husband and her visit twenty years earlier.  Really?  Why go to a place that means so much to you with a group of crazy people and some guy you bang on occasion?  It makes no sense that she would taint her good memories by going with a circus.  Carole is milking her history in a gross way, not a compelling way.

Aviva is getting deep and Sonja wants nothing to do with it.  She knocks everyone by trying to lift herself up.  Heather is over it.  I never got Heather until this trip.  She is the only sane one of the bunch. She is a grown up in a group of annoying teenage girls. Carole is crying about the plane crash.  You know, the one she speaks in code about. 

Aviva is talking about how she does not want to focus on her neurosis, yet it’s all she talks about.  Carole does not want to talk about her history, yet she talks about it all the time.  She wants to talk about it, she just doesn’t want anyone else to talk about it.  Aviva goes to comfort Carole and Sonja assures the others she is not white trash.  Then Heather loses it.

Sonja and Ramona tell Heather and LuAnn that the foursome with the men is going out on their own for dinner.  Ramona has diarrhea, LuAnn is eating lobster because she can’t afford it at home, Sonja is drunk, and Heather is done.  I’m with Heather on this one.  She is pissed off there are dates happening and she is not included.  This show sucks.

Heather is annoyed she left her life for a week to hang out with a bunch of selfish women.  Carole goes to find Heather on the beach so she can pretend to be the lady. I started liking her and not getting Heather, but in the end Heather is the fabulous one and Carole is the pretentious one hanging onto the past and controlling how it is talked about.

Aviva is throwing it in Sonja’s face, again, that she has a double date.  Sonja is over the judgment.  Aviva is saying it’s disgusting that Sonja is sleeping with people and being slutty. Really?  Aviva wanted Sonja to sleep with her dad yet she is now an offended lady?  Aviva is a hypocrite and she is not interesting enough to be on this show.  She is a bore and a bitch.

Sonja is now going off on her and I love it.  Aviva is talking about Sonja not being a good example for her daughter and it’s so mean.  Aviva is vicious and while she has the best body of any woman on any season, she is a nightmare.  It’s an attack on Sonja, who is drunk, and it’s not pleasant.  I’m with Sonja on this one.  Aviva is a crazy person who needs meds.

It’s the night of the double date and Aviva is making fun of the “girls trip”. Reid chimes in by calling the other women old and fat, and it’s horrible. Aviva and Carole should look into some dental work, and stop being so mean.  Luann, Sonja, Ramona and Heather are out for dinner and complimenting each other. This is not a good cast and they all need to go.  Epic fail.

Sidebar:  While I appreciate that so many people are reading and enjoying my blog, if you think I am an alcoholic who is throwing her life away by drinking too much, I ask you this:  Really?  Of course I have a cocktail when I’m watching, that’s half the fun.  If you think I am actually drinking an entire bottle of wine, I suggest you look into getting a sense of humor.

Yes I am drinking, no I am not a drunk.  Thank you for the AA pamphlets, the anonymous emails about AA group meeting in Los Angeles, and supporting me by suggesting I admit to my problem in order to get help.  It’s all rather entertaining, but I’m fine.  In fact, I am having a cocktail as I write this and I am fine.  It’s just TV, and just a blog, so don’t worry about any of it.

Carole wants peace and likens herself to Gandhi.  No.  Aviva is ignoring Ramona and Sonja, as are they ignoring her.  We find out Sonja bruises easily and Ramona is staying away from Aviva.  Ramona says Aviva has a dark energy and I’m with Ramona.  I’m actually on the side of the Drunky sisters, which is of grave concern to me.  How is it possible I understand them?

They are going out for drinks before Carole’s “boyfriend” has a concert. Everyone is together and there is tension.  Luann toasts to Aviva for getting there, and its lame.  The editing is brutal.  They leave for the concert in bright sun and arrive in the night.  Ramona and Sonja blow off the concert and go home which pisses Carole off.  Carole is not as cool as I thought.

They arrive home for dinner and Sonja and Ramona are not joining.  There is a lot of yelling, covering up, sucking up, and I’m sure throwing up, so I’m not that interested.  It’s all very weird.  Sonja has changed clothes and for some reason is blow-drying her dress.  She is hammered and Carole again wants to be the only one to talk about Carole.  This show can’t end soon enough.

Aviva then loses her mind.  She tells the camera Sonja is like Anna Nicole Smith.  She married an old man, had money, lost everything, and is in a downward spiral.  It may or may not be true, but who the hell is Aviva to say it to the camera?  She really is a hurtful bitch.  Luann is happy the attention is off of her and the fact that she banged the pirate.

They end their trip with laughs and fake friendship as they all go into the pool.  They are naked, drunk, pretending to like each other, and completely humiliating themselves.  They all drink to live it and we all drink to watch it. I’m out.  I may watch, but I am no longer blogging this show.  It’s just not interesting because nothing about this show is keeping it real.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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