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Jewish Journal

Real Housewives of NYC – Not a Lady in Sight

by Ilana Angel

September 6, 2012 | 9:20 am

Photo by Michael Rosenthal/Bravo

This show is getting more ridiculous every week and we are now all just laughing at them.  They clearly do not care that the cameras are running, and actually seem to go out of their way to humiliate themselves.  They are mothers and if I was family protective services I would be paying a visit to a couple of housewives.  They are behaving badly and it is pathetic.

I understand the perks and glamour of fame, but in this case, with this group in particular, they appear to be desperate in a way that is sad.  They are a bunch of middle-aged women who seem to think this will last and they are untouchable, when in reality they are boring us and we do not hold them in high regard.  It is pity and embarrassment that we feel for them.

It’s been an interesting week for me in that someone I care about was forced to deal with hateful words.  I am feeling a responsibility to her and to myself to choose my words carefully as I know they are powerful and can hurt someone.  Therefore, I will refrain from the words skank, whore, slut and idiot. By refrain, of course I mean I will try to refrain.

We are still on the hot-mess-menopausal holiday to St. Barts and it’s getting weird.  Luann slept with the pirate and he has turned up at their house.  She is trying to be cool but you know she wants to do him again, but because she can’t admit she did, he is up for grabs and it would appear he is going to make his way through the housewives like a knife through butter.

Ramona is flirting with him, which is hilarious.  Even pirates have their limits and as much as she wants to think it could if she wanted, never going to happen.  Ramona is trying to get the pirate to admit he was with Luann last night and he is saying it was someone who looks just like him.  Ramona is drunk and desperate, while Luann is fuming and annoyed.

Sidebar:  Luann’s French is not fluent.  She speaks very little and throws in English words to supplement it.  It’s hilarious.  The Countless is not that fancy in the end.  Luann is still trying to convince everyone she had a bunch of Italian friends over when everyone who was there, and all of us watching, know she slept with the pirate.

Sonja is now drunk, smoking, and all over the pirate.  They go off to have a little fun and Luann is unable to say anything because she has a live-in boyfriend at home.  Heather is fascinated by the whole thing and Carole is laughing at it all, yet has the look of someone who would get in line to have a go at the pirate if the cameras were not there.

The “ladies” are out on a boat and it’s just silly.  Ramona and Sonja are making fools of themselves and just as we are all having a good laugh at their expense, Aviva and Reed are getting on a plane to come for the weekend. Aviva is someone I just don’t get.  She is odd and I am finding it hard to like her on this show.  I might like her in real life, but not here.

She does not want to be defined by her neurosis but it is all she talks about. She is annoying and I think she makes it all out to be worse than it is in order to have something to talk about.  She is uninteresting and so her New York shtick about being so high strung is just shtick.  I’m guessing she regrets choosing that as the thing we know her for.

Carole is nice and a cool chick but when she talks about her past I find it strange.  She tells the camera she does not talk about her personal life to a lot of people, yet she wrote about it and is talking about it in front of the cameras, so I don’t really understand what she is saying.  It is her history and she should share it without saying she never shares it.

Watching Aviva on the plane is like watching paint dry.  She came to the island ready to rumble with Sonja and Ramona so you know it’s going down. Meanwhile Sonja and Ramona are at a real estate office looking to see if they can rent another house for the two days Aviva is there incase it does not go well.  It is scripted and I am now on glass of wine number 2.

Sonja and Ramona are skinny-dipping when Aviva and Reed arrive.  Everyone greets them with hugs and kisses except for Sonja and Ramona who are naked.  Everything seems to be going well until Aviva decides she is going to lose her mind.  She has a nervous breakdown right before our eyes and it is truly quite remarkable.  I’m on glass number 3.

Aviva says she begged Reed to bring her, but when she spoke to Heather and Carole there was no begging mentioned.  Aviva wants everyone to go upstairs and hug and kiss the feet of Reed for bringing her to the island.  Ramona is screaming that Aviva needs to take a Xanax, Sonja does not understand what is going on, and Luann is enjoying every second of it.

Aviva calls Ramona and Sonja white trash, which makes no sense.  They are, but why say it here?  There have been way better examples of their trashiness than this.  Aviva is a strange girl and I will be surprised if she lasts another season.  She is not interesting, quite rude, not funny, painfully neurotic, and brings nothing to this show but yelling.

Ramona and Sonja are screaming that the fight is Luann’s fault and she is the instigator.  They are all yelling, I can’t follow what is happening, and I am mortified by the behavior of these women.  Aviva is with Reed, telling him Heather and Carole begged them to come and I am now convinced Aviva does not understand what the word begging means.

Aviva is not comfortable and wants to leave unless Carole asks them to go. Aviva is now acting like a crazy person.  Aviva does not understand why she was not greeted with a party.  Really?  Nobody said anything unkind to her husband, yet she is convinced he is hurt by their not kissing his feet upon his arrival with rose petals and champagne.

Ramona and Sonja are going off on Luann and blaming her for the fight. Sonja tries to make up with Aviva and we see how really lovely she is deep down.  Shame about the drinking and instability. Sonja is harmless and I worry for her that she is painting herself in such an unfavorable light when she is struggling to take care of herself and her child.

Aviva, who says nobody has manners, tells Sonja and Ramona they should leave Carole’s house.  Complete insanity.  Ramona apologizes and kisses some ass, then Aviva insists they tell Reed they are sorry and Sonja is done.  The entire thing is beyond comprehension and in the end all we learn is that Aviva is mentally unstable.

Sonja is now having a breakdown, Ramona has switched to another personality, and Luann is backstabbing.  Just like old times in NYC.  Next week will be more high school behavior and I will need four glasses of wine to get through it.  Is this public humiliation worth the money? The answer depends on whether or not you are keeping it real.

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