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Real Housewives of New York - I Wrote This Blog

by Ilana Angel

March 30, 2014 | 9:56 am

I am late to the party with this blog and so I thank you for being patient. I watched the episode, twice, but was so disgusted by the incredible level of immaturity and lack of manners that I walked away from it and only came back this morning to blog. I love this show and these women are good TV, but to have it slip into the gutter on only week two is disappointing.

If we are starting at the bottom one could argue we can only move up. Important to note however, that whoever uses that theory clearly does not watch the Real Housewives of anywhere because if there is one thing these women excel at, it is taking things to a whole other level of gutter. We are already invested and already heading into New Jersey darkness.

We pick up at Aviva’s housewarming in the middle of a fight between her and Carole. Aviva has said Carole used a ghostwriter for her books and Carole is offended. Rather than walk away from crazy, she is going to engage, thus making her equally as crazy. You can’t fight with stupid and to be clear, Aviva Drescher is a complete and ridiculous moron.

Carole mentions Aviva never had a job outside the home, which is lame because being a mother and keeping a home is a job. Aviva quoting the “word on the street” is laughable. Aviva is desperate and appears to be both mentally challenged and a child. That she would have this fight in her home, in front of the camera, proves she suffers from Joyce-itis.

Joyce came into RHOBH with nothing to offer so she quickly targeted Brandi as her nemesis and got to work on making herself look like an angel to Brandi’s devil. It quickly backfired as we all saw Brandi is good TV and Joyce is not. Aviva is trying to make fans choose between her and Carole. We will pick Carole because Aviva is simply not interesting.

Writing a book about her childhood, perverted dad, alcoholic mother as a sympathy ploy, and her ability to marry men with money, is of no interest to anyone. I realize it is just a show and there is little to no reality, but since Aviva is putting it all out there for us to judge, I feel comfortable saying she needs to go as she is useless here and is bringing it down.

Carole spewing crap at Aviva is no better really.  The difference is that Aviva thinks this make her popular and increases her camera time, while Carole is clearly humiliated by both the accusations and her reaction. Carole is a grown up and Aviva is a spoiled, entitled, idiot.  Carole needs to stop talking about Aviva as Aviva will dig her own grave.

Carole talks to everyone about it and that is a shame. She looks silly. Listening to comments on the fight is lame. Heather and Kristen come out the grown ups while Ramona and Sonya come out as cackling hens.  Carole leaves but makes sure to let Aviva’s husband know his wife is not nice and tells Harry he understands why they are divorced. Oy vey.

We jump to a scripted visit between Heather and Ramona so Ramona can talk about her upcoming trip to Africa for Avery’s graduation. Ramona is an airhead and Heather trying to defend Carole to Ramona is silly. If they are going to script visits they should make sense, not be a waste of our time. Heather is normal, Ramona is not, and this was a pointless visit.

Cut to a meeting with Carole and her editor going back and forth about a change in her book. Really? We are supposed to believe she had this meeting with her editor right after the housewarming, and the editor is defending Carole not having a ghostwriter? I like Carole, she is a writer, she needs to walk away from it and find the power in her silence.

Jumping to Sonja, we learn she has 35 interns and apparently some of them live with her. Really? I think is this a little funny, but mostly disturbing. Sonja is a hot mess and while I used to think she was quirky and fun, there is an underlying Grey Gardens instability that is just really sad. We are watching a woman lose her mind and it is disturbing to me.

Aviva is shooting the cover of a book nobody will read. She is talking about how it takes a village to write a book and I am laughing at her. It actually only takes one person to write a book, and a village to publish a book you moron. Kristin comes for a scripted visit and it is funny. Kristen is great and I really like her on this show. She is a voice of reason.

Kristen points out to Aviva that she is not a writer and Carole is. Aviva insists she is a writer, just like Carole, We are dealing with all kinds of crazy. Kristen tells Aviva she sounds jealous and Aviva blows it off. Why is Aviva on this show? Kristen is a great addition and if they get rid of Aviva this show could be back in business. I truly cannot stand Aviva here.

Back with Ramona, Avery is getting ready for prom. She is now 18 and it is amazing that we have watched this lovely young woman grow up. Ramona crying about the whole thing is lovely and touching. Sidebar: Time for Ramona to update her apartment and de-clutter her kitchen counters. I like Ramona. She owns who she is and makes no excuses for it.

Kristen is going to compete is some endurance race with her husband Josh, Heather and her husband Jonathon. They promise to stay with Kristin if she is running behind so she is not alone. Translation: They are going to leave her in the mud, literally. This is a competitive group and Kristen will be alone. I like Heather and Kristen together.

Carole is throwing a baby shower for a friend of hers, who appears to not know the other housewives, yet they are invited so they can talk about what a great writer she is. Ugh. Carole’s VP Eric is there and I will give a shout out to him because he seems really lovely on Twitter. He is the top of the top when it comes to housewives team members.

Carole tells the camera she doesn't regret not having children and I think it is a shame she felt compelled to defend her choices. In fact, whether it was a choice or simply a result of circumstance or opportunity, she has not kids and that is okay. If she said it for our benefit, it was not needed. If she said it for herself, then okay. Either way, Carole is better than this.

Ramona comes to Carole’s and they go off on their own to chat. Ramona apologizes for starting the fight, and spins it as she was helping Carole, not causing trouble. Brilliant. I don’t get why everyone was invited to the shower and it annoys me when Bravo treats fans like they are stupid. The bottom line is that I'm over the whole writing mess, but clearly they’re not.

Time for the endurance race.  Kristen is nervous and while her husband is trying to be supportive, it is not really coming across as helpful or sincere. Jonathon, Josh, and Heather take off and leave Kristen to race on her own. So sad. Josh yells at her to show some heart and it pisses me off. He promised they would do it together and then left her. Schmuck.

To clarify, we all know he was not going to race with her and so there is comedy in it that we thought for one second he would stick with her, but still, it is sad. She finishes on her own, which is awesome, but then tells her husband to F off, which was funny, but also sad. He was never running with her so she needs to man up and not embarrass him on camera.

I hate when we see the fighting on camera, even if it is over something silly. Bad enough we see the women fight, but these couples are in a fish bowl and the only shot in hell they have to survive together is to be respectful on camera. That is a lesson to be learned. I like Kristen, but not Josh, and there lies the problem. She needs to protect him from us.

Next week will mark the return of Countless LuAnn. I don’t really understand the need to have her back. Her moment has passed and dragging out her 15 minutes will be a drag to watch. By sad of course I mean super funny. Not sure a few dollars was worth letting the blogosphere in for more was worth it, but time will tell if she is welcomed and able to keep it real.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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