June 2, 2011 | 10:13 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
It is week two in Morocco and we start with Ramona getting her fortune read. She is being told that she does everything for Mario and gets nothing back. Sonja starts bawling and the first thing that comes to my mind is that Sonja is sleeping with Mario. Ridiculous of course, but juicy.
Ramona is told there is another woman in Mario’s life and Ramona is convinced it’s her daughter Avery that the woman is feeling. Ramona sits with no facial expression as she is told the news. She could be in shock, or simply embarrassed, but she is stoic and taking it like a man.
Jill thinks it’s weird that Sonja’s reaction is what Ramona’s should have been and can’t wait to tell us. Ramona tells a complete stranger that LuAnn hit on her husband. Sonja is drunk and apparently the crying is because she is still heartbroken her 70 year old husband left her for another woman.
Sonja is sad and talking to Ramona and Ramona is a total bitch, telling Sonja that she married an old man for money, while Ramona married a man her age and she is blissfully happy. Ramona tries to support Sonja in the end and it’s sad. Sonja is a mess and Ramona is delusional.
As the ladies leave the party we get a good look at the outfit Alex wore. Oh. My. God. The supermodel is wearing blue sequined Bermuda shorts with big glittery stars on them. It may the most ridiculous outfit I have ever seen. The supermodel is super blind when it comes to fashion.
The next morning the ladies are heading out to the market for some shopping. LuAnn tells Sonja to hold the seat next to her and when Cindy goes to sit in the same seat, Sonja tells her it’s saved and Cindy loses her mind. She leaves to go the other car and Ramona moves with no problem.
Cindy is upset, Ramona is gossiping about it, and I am finding hard to believe that I love Kelly. She is sweet and lovely and we are seeing what I would like to think is the real her. Jill looks like she is going to the mall, while Sonja looks likes she is shooting a scene from Out of Africa.
They are shopping and Cindy is on the warpath with Sonja. She is trying to force a conversation in the market and it’s sad. I am screaming at the TV for Cindy to just shut up. She is letting Drunky McDrunkerson upset her and it’s a shame. Walk away Cindy. You are too good for this.
LuAnn is explaining to Cindy that she asked Ramona to save the seat and Cindy jumps on the train to Crazytown. She asks what Sonja has accomplished in her life, which is mean, and it’s too bad because they have now sucked her into the vicious circle of mean housewives. Disappointing.
The ladies are going on a camel ride and I’m confused by everyone referring to LuAnn as the one who took them on the trip. I find it hard to believe that Countless paid for them to all go. Bravo picked up the tab so I wonder if they have been instructed to refer to LuAnn as the hostess.
LuAnn is stylish, Alex is dressed like she works at the circus, Cindy has killer legs, Kelly looks like a supermodel, Ramona looks like my grandmother, Jill sounds like my grandmother, and Sonja decides not to ride but walk along side them. She was scared and felt bad for her.
LuAnn’s camel has a moment and tries to throw her off. She is clearly shaken and handles herself like a Countess. The young guide helps LuAnn off the camel and cops a feel. Hilarious. Another camel eats Jill’s bracelet, everyone regroups and they are off to the oasis for dinner.
They arrive at the tent and it’s gorgeous. Sonja is talking about her trip with the King of Saudi Arabia and if it weren’t so sad, it would be funny. They sit for dinner and the madness begins. Jill starts a game where everyone shares something about themselves that nobody knows.
Jill talks about Bobby’s feet, Luann is one of 7 kids, Ramona lived with her mother-in-law for two years, Cindy started working as a kid with her dad, Alex likes to suck the joy out of a party, and Sonja tries to convince us her life is great when clearly she depressed.
Everyone is talking over each other and Cindy has had enough. Everyone is picking on Sonja for feeling scared and Cindy tries to come to her defense but is shot down under all the gabbing. The entire dinner gave me a headache and I wanted to scream.
Cindy steps away and all the cackling hens follow her out. Cindy is concerned that there appears to be no respect between the ladies and again they are all talking over each other. In trying to explain their crazy relationships, they show Cindy that at the end of the day they are just crazy.
Alex and Simon cannot stand to be apart from each other and decide to video chat twice a day for 20 minutes. Alex is trying to have “sexy” time and show him her boobs but the ladies keep interrupting, which is a blessing to Simon since he’s gay and boobs don’t float his boat.
They are off to the Turkish baths and Ramona and Sonja stay at home with diarrhea, which Countless is all too happy to talk about. Sonja and Ramona join in later. All these years I thought Ramona’s expression was from constipation, and in the end all butt issues show on her face.
Sonja clears the air with Cindy and it’s sweet. I feel bad for Sonja. As her life becomes clearer, she becomes more fragile. Cindy is gracious and they make up. I love Cindy for not giving her a double sided fake kiss and hug. She accepts the apology and it’s over. Bravo.
Jill goes to talk to Ramona and within 10 seconds I think Jill is full of crap. She tells Ramona they left the better rooms for her, which is a crock. Jill went in with a suck up attitude, which implies there is a back stabbing coming. Butter her up, then go in for the kill.
Ramona is calm, and trying to explain herself but Jill is being bitchy. Not that Jill’s point was not valid, but it’s the presentation and Ramona wins while Jill is an epic fail. At the end of the day the big issue is that Jill blames Ramona for the end of her relationship with Bethenny.
Jill and Bethenny were never going to make up because Bethenny is a liar who was looking for fame, and when she no longer needed Jill and got her own show, she dumped her. The fight with Jill was Bethenny’s way to walk away with sympathy and paint Jill as the evil one.
It’s a shame because Jill got screwed, Ramona got screwed, and in the end Bethenny got everything she wanted, but is surrounded by dead bodies. Bethenny is just like her father, exactly like her mother, and Karma is going to break her door down for the messes she has caused.
Ramona handles the conversation calmly and rationally, while Jill is a bitter child who cannot let anything go. Jill blames Ramona for not fixing things with Bethenny and Ramona reminds Jill she lived up the street from Bethenny and could have repaired the friendship on her own.
To the very last minute Ramona is trying to fix things with Jill and Jill is crazy. She was starting to get people back on her side and this episode undid it all. Poor thing. Ramona is truly crying and frustrated, while Jill fake cries and must talk to Bobby.
Morocco is not disappointing and week three of the getaway should be the best one. From camels to fanny packs, fights to making up, Kelly is the coolest chick in Morocco, which is both fabulous and concerning. I am addicted to this show like heroin, and just trying to keep it real.
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