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Real Housewives of New York City Double Blog Recap

by Ilana Angel

May 27, 2014 | 8:44 pm

I am back from London and blogging the shows I missed while away. Lots of people in London spoke to me about RHONY and more often than not they said they missed Jill Zarin. I miss her too because she was good TV, but Kristen and Heather are doing a great job of keeping the show interesting. I'm blogging last week and tonight in a double blog.

We started last week in the Berkshires, where Ramona has left and everyone except for Kristen has a raging hangover. Sonja is upset Ramona bailed without a goodbye and was spotted at a party in the Hamptons. Sonja comments on LuAnn looking rough, but she is rougher. LuAnn should be a housewife not relegated to “friend”.

A yoga instructor has arrived and the ladies drag their asses out for a class. They're in bad shape and it is hilarious. Sonja is brilliant television. The Berkshires wraps up and the ladies are back in the city. Carole is writing an article on manners and calls LuAnn to help her. LuAnn is really very pretty. Carole is using LuAnn to write her article. Weird.

Cut to Kristen and Heather, who are in Central Park. They are, in my opinion, saving the show. They're talking about a dinner/intervention where they plan to call out Ramona on her lies.  Hearing Heather use Yiddish is odd. Kristen is out for blood with Ramona, She is going to the table ready to fight and I am oddly excited about it.

Important to note that Aviva returns tonight and I’m annoyed. This show is infinitely better without her. Time for dinner with Ramona and I cannot wrap my head around Heather’s dress. It is her first fashion miss. Yikes. Ramona arrives and they’re going to trap her in a booth so she can’t run off. Carole looks like she has had work done.

Heather, Sonja, LuAnn, Carole, and Ramona are all in place, with Kristen opting out.  LuAnn immediately calls out Ramona for skipping out of the Berkshires to go to the Hamptons. Ramona is defensive and says she never wanted to go to the Berkshires and everyone can screw themselves for not understanding how hard it was for her.

LuAnn says she never should’ve lied. Ramona says the situation with Kristen was a kneejerk reaction to her childhood memories. Everyone is shouting and talking over each other. Ramona wants to leave, LuAnn won’t let her out, and I'm laughing my ass off at all of it. I hope this shows Sonja Ramona is not really her friend.

Ramona says she was embarrassed by her behavior with Kristen and I call bullshit. Ramona said what was needed to calm the situation down. Ramona is an idiot and she needs to be let go already. Her time has come and gone and she brings nothing to this show other than a pounding headache for viewers. Plus her Pinot Grigio sucks.

We are now at Kristen’s house with her husband Josh and kids. I’m not a fan of Josh. Their 17 month old daughter Kingsley is not walking and has a therapist who comes to help her. She is a gorgeous little girl and I hope she walks soon. Josh has come home for the physical therapy, but says he would rather be at work. Charming. Douche.

Josh pays no attention to the therapy, taking calls and emails. Kristen is pushing him to pay attention, and they fight in front of their child and the poor physical therapist. Josh is an asshole. Kristen does not understand why he can’t focus on the family for just a minute, and we all wonder the same thing. My heart breaks for Kristen.

Kristen is pushing him to prioritize his family and he is telling her to respect his work. He is gross. Kristen is airing dirty laundry and it is uncomfortable to watch. She says they have no romantic life and wonders why he can’t bring her flowers. He says he doesn’t want to come home because there is never food on the table. This is really sad.

Ramona is working out in her apartment, which is in desperate need of a facelift, when her husband Mario shows up. She kisses him and he pushes away. He is clearly tired from banging his girlfriend. Watching them together, knowing what we know, it is sad to be sure, but also hilarious. Ramona is talking and he could not care any less.

They show a scene with Sonja getting ready for a meeting with a bunch of interns. She has two lawyers coming and says she is going to count her glasses because people steal them. Oh. My. God. Just give this woman her own show and call it a day. Sonja Morgan is brilliant TV and we're all pulling for her to find success and real happiness.

Time for a double date with LuAnn and Jacques, Nick and Carole. It is a set up for Carole. Nick seems like a nice guy and appears to be interested until Carole lets him know she is seeing a matchmaker. There is no love connection here. Carole is acting very young and speaking in clichés. Carole is just not that appealing anymore. 

Carole is now talking about sex and orgasms. She wrote a book at sex and dating? That makes no sense. She sucks at dating and since she wants to talk about faking orgasms with a complete stranger, one can assume maybe she is not great at sex either. I’m bored. Time to join Ramona and Kristen for a drink. Not buying this at all.

Ramona apologizes. Well, she says sorry, but there is no sincerity and it is all about Ramona. Kristen is pushing something that doesn't need to be pushed. She is trying to keep the fight going, which is lame. Especially with someone as delusional as Ramona. This exchange confirms Ramona needs to go and Kristen needs to chill.

Kristen wants Ramona to admit she is mentally unstable, and Ramona is laughing in her face, ending last week. Tonight’s episode begins with Kristen who is shopping with LuAnn and Heather.  Kristen tells them she met with Ramona that morning, but she is in different clothes. Why would she change? It wasn’t the same day.

They're all talking smack about Ramona. It is more truth than smack. Kristen in whining and it is grating on my last nerve. Sonja calls to say she is having a memorial service for her beloved dog Millou. She has had his ashes for a year and wants to do a proper funeral for him. I’m not a dog person but I get it. Nice to have a proper goodbye.

Sonja is crying, surrounded by interns, and is planning his funeral, which she wants to be more fabulous than Princess Diana’s. Just like that we are transported to Grey Gardens and reminded why we love this woman. I dig Sonja. She needs her own show, her own book, her own whatever she wants. I actually care about his woman. God help me.

Kristen is auditioning for a work out video. She is winded after a few exercises, which is cute. If she was winded and eating a sandwich, it would be great. Carole is hiring an assistant and posted the job on twitter. Really? Carole interviews people at Ramona’s office and it is silly. Her questions are lame and she tries too hard to be funny.

Sonja is having some weird chakra treatment and I am fascinated. I want to know her, help her, and understand her. That is appeal of Sonja. She is speaking of the dog she loved for 18 years and you feel her pain. She had that dog throughout her marriage, the life of her child, and all her heartache. It is sad even though I am not a dog person.

Aviva Drescher is back. She ruins this show. Not only must we suffer through her, but her dad is also on.These people disgust me. Aviva is having a dinner party with her husband, brother, father, his new girlfriend, Sonja, Harry, and Wendy Madden. I’m seriously grossed out by Aviva and really need her to be fired and not included next season.

Aviva’s hideous dad George arrives with his 25 year old girlfriend Cody. Really? This girl is mentally unwell to be with this pig, and this pig is out of control. Shame on Bravo for giving this loser screen time. George kind of asks Cody to marry him and she says yes. This chick is sad to marry this loser. I just can’t with Aviva or her Dad. Fire them.

Kristen books the work out video and is shooting it while her husband cracks jokes about her. He is disgusting and we are watching a marriage implode. I would be humiliated if I was her and I am overwhelmed with the desire to smack him. I don't understand this marriage and it is way to dysfunctional to blame on editing. Josh is an asshole.

Sonja is out for drinks with Aviva and Ramona. Aviva asks about the Berkshires and Sonja goes off on all the things about Ramona that are pissing her off. Sonja backs down as quickly as she gets fired up. I get they have known each other a long time, but Ramona is simply not kind to our girl Sonja and it bugs the crap out of me.

Sonja is writing her speech, and crying, but Siri doesn't understand her and it is hilarious. Sonja is perfect TV. Time for the funeral. Everyone is dressed up in black, with hats, to say goodbye. I am listening to Sonja talking about her dog and I am crying. Dear Lord. What is happening? Am I crying for this dog? For Sonja? God help me.

Sonja is going to drop Millou’s ashes into the river. The girls watch from above as Sonja walks to the railing, but it is windy and he ends up getting blown all over the sidewalk. Brilliant. This show has moments of real greatness, and other’s that feel like we're being dragged through the gutter. I love it though and will continue to keep it real.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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