Tonight's typos are brought to you by Merlot.
I’m watching, but also losing interest. If not for Heather and Kristen I’m not sure my liver could take an entire season of this show. It is slow moving, mean spirited, and a couple women have overstayed their welcome. I think LuAnn is not needed, Ramona should be long gone, and Carole is behaving like a child. I’ve poured wine and am ready.
We start off with Kristen and her husband Josh having Sonja over. He is going to advise her on her multitude of business ventures as he is successful. They rent, not own, so I’m not sure how successful he is, but they live in NYC, where a closet rents for thousands, so it is all relative I suppose. I love Kristen and want to love Josh, but I don’t yet.
Kristen is sweet to want to help Sonja get it together so she doesn’t lose her Grey Gardens, but it won’t help. Bless our delicious Sonja. She is a hot mess. Josh invites Sonja to tell him all about her brand. She rambles on and on about everything and absolutely nothing. He is trying to help but she’s not listening and doesn’t seem to understand him.
Josh tells her she is nuts and laughs in her face which is rude and disrespectful. I would like to be friends with Kristen, but I’d only want to hang out when her husband wasn’t home. We jump to Los Angeles where Carole is staying while her NYC apartment is being remodeled. She seems much happier in LA and should be on RHOBH.
Carole likes to talk about herself. I get she is a character and we watch to see her, but she is a little too self-indulgent for me. She wants very much to be Carrie Bradshaw and she just isn’t. If she focused more on being an authentic Carole, instead of a wannabe Carrie, we would all like her much more. To clarify, I like her, but would like her more.
Heather is having a couple’s dinner with Ramona and Kristen. She has invited the ladies to the Berkshires for a weekend and is treating the men to dinner before she takes the ladies away. Kristen arrives first, then Ramona, and Ramona ignores her. LuAnn arrives with Jacque, then Heather and Jonathon. Heather says she is taking just the women.
Mario is beyond thrilled to have Ramona out of town and hugs and kisses Heather profusely because it means he can bang his mistress in the comfort of his own bed. Mario is a pig, married to a pig, and watching the season knowing he was cheating but is back with Ramona is fascinating. They deserve each other and I wish the two pigs the best.
There is a lot of tension between Kristen and Ramona, Ramona and Heather. We all know nothing good can come of that. Everything Ramona says annoys Heather and she has no problem talking about it. All the girls are going to the weekend except for Aviva who has a conflict with her kids. Perfect timing for Heather, but Ramona is clearly annoyed.
Important to note the best part of this episode was we were not subjected to Aviva. She is a truly disgusting woman and does nothing but bring this show down. I would rather listen to Ramona bitch than listen to Aviva utter one word with her annoying and condescending voice. I really need Aviva to get the boot in her boney little ass.
Sidebar; Ramona is eating with her mouth open and it is grossing me out. Kristen talks about having Sonja over, LeAnn makes a mean joke about Sonja losing her house, and everyone is gossiping about Sonja, who is not there. Ramona is getting pissed off that everyone is talking about Sonja. Funny that she does not mind when she talks about her.
LuAnn pulls the manners card after she made fun of Sonja. Really? LuAnn needs to STFU. Thanks to the poor editing at Bravo, we are now back in NYC with Carole, who is meeting with a matchmaker. Dear Lord. The matchmaker is hitting on her, Kristen is mortified by the entire scene, and I am bored. I would never hire this guy to get me a date.
In an attempt to be cool and young Carole makes an anal joke. No. Ramona, Sonja, and LuAnn go to an aerial yoga class. I can’t and am skipping over it. Ramona is not into the Berkshire trip because it reminds her of her upbringing in upstate NY. Blah, blah, blah. Why does LuAnn pronounce Sonja’s name so weird? It is really bugging me.
Ramona, Sonja, and LuAnn are now driving to the Berkshires. Ramona is a twat. She says the Berkshires are for people who cannot afford the Hamptons. Ramona calls Heather and finds out there is no air conditioning. Cut to the car with Kristen and Carole. They go back and forth between cars and I am bored, I’m also on my third glass of wine.
Heather’s house is perfect and in getting ready for the girls called Ramona a “picky ass bitch”. I love Heather. The girls arrive and Ramona wants to stay in the car with the A/C. Ramona gets out of the car and asks if the house is the garage, then requests a handyman to help with the luggage. Oh. My God. I cannot stand Ramona. She is a vicious bitch.
Carole and Kristen arrive. Important to note Carole needs a stylist, even to go to the Berkshires. The doorbell rings and Ramona has ordered an air conditioner to be installed in her bedroom at Heather’s house. Honestly, this woman is a whack job and I bet Mario sits up at night with his whore and talks about what a complete nut job his wife it.
Heather takes the A/C with a grain of salt and points out that as the oldest, and going through menopause, Ramona needs cool air. I LOVE HEATHER. They are going to swim in the lake and Ramona is bitching about her recently done hair. Who does her hair? She might want to get someone new. The boats are on the water and it is on.
They open wine and start fishing and swimming. Loudly. Ramona talks about the dinner and tells Carole she was not invited because she is alone. Ramona is talking crap about Kristen and Heather but they are in the water, having swam to the canoe, and are eavesdropping. Kristen decides to splash them and it puts Ramona over the edge.
Kristen tells Ramona she has not helped Sonja in 20 years and she is simply trying to be a friend. Ramona loses her mind and throws a wine glass at Kristen, splitting her lip while yelling at her. Ramona is an animal and needs to be fired. By fired of course I mean put out to pasture. The old hag has run her course and we are all sick of her already.
Ramona refuses to apologize to Kristen and rows back to shore Porsha from RHOA is not the violent one, Ramona is. Next week Ramona will cry about her childhood and I will drink while fantasizing about punching her. Not really. Really. Ramona is the reason we all drink to watch this train wreck. Firing her would save our livers and keep it real.
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