Tonight's typos are brought to you by Grey Goose.
Before I get started, I want to say Bravo needs to put a muzzle on Richard Wakile. He is still associated with them and he is bad for the brand. Rich likes to go on Twitter and attack in the most horrific ways. He went off today on a woman, calling her deceased father a pedophile. He is a disgusting man, which is probably why his wife got canned. Kathy needs to get some balls and tell her husband to shut the hell up. I will never buy her product because of him. I wasn’t buying anyway, but still.
We start this week with Melissa and Joe. He has invested their money in a business that shreds documents. He wants us to think he has invested “millions”. Really? He didn’t have millions. Melissa is worried because they're in temporary housing and have three kids. Joe lets her know the house is not happening right away because their money is tied up. Melissa is an idiot and Joe seems to think the feds are only watching Juicy and Tre. God bless these two because they are dumb.
Over to Amber, I think her husband Jim is an ass, even though we have only seen him for a few minutes. They're having a family dinner and he explains he is a stickler for manners and respect at the table, yet does not suggest his daughter eat with her mouth closed. He has a business where he does his own commercials, which star Amber. He's going to make a new one featuring all his kids. Cute. I am trying to like Amber and she may win me over, but I just can’t get there with Jim.
Jumping to Teresa, she is doing a photo shoot for her new desert cookbook. Milania is a pill and we're reminded she is a lot of work. Translation: she is perfect TV. She is rude, obnoxious, and hilarious. Important to clarify it is only funny when it is not your kid. Back to Amber, she is out with Melissa so they can connect. I call bullshit. This is scripted but I believe Amber over Melissa. Melissa blew Amber off when she had cancer. Wait! Amber gets dirty in three, two, one.
Amber starts gossiping about the twins and says it is because she can trust Melissa. Really? She threw Melissa under the bus week one saying she cared more about money than anything else, yet she is saying Melissa is an inherently good person? Amber is a gossip and she just set the tone for how we will forever view her. No turning back now Amber. You came in with a lot of promise and are now just a fame whore like the rest of them. Your chances for goodness lasted one week.
Teresa is hosting a tasting of her deserts. The table looks amazing! Melissa tries to be funny but sounds like a whore instead. Poor girl needs to realize she is not funny and should stop trying so hard. Amber is crying and making no sense. She compares cancer to what Teresa is going through and I'm laughing, although I don’t think that was the reaction Amber wanted. Amber is a kiss ass and she's going where she thinks she'll get the most camera time. She is educated but dumb.
Time for the twins to have dinner with Juicy and Teresa. I am sick of everyone talking about what a hard time Tre and Juicy are going through. They don’t mean it. They just want to get in so when the sentencing comes down they can claim to be friends and sell some stories to the tabloids. Backtracking just a little, the producers try to get Dina to say something bad about Caroline and she shuts it down. She’s a lady and not going there. It is gross for them to even try that with her.
Amber and Melissa are out together. The editing sucks. They're jumping all over the place and it looks ridiculous. While they're at dinner, they show a scene with Jim and his kids, along with Bobby, one of the twin’s boyfriend. Who cares? Back to the girls, Amber lets us know she is an actress. Interesting she found time to tell us since all she talks about is cancer. I'm happy she is okay, but enough with the cancer. Amber is annoying and so is her husband. They can go now.
Amber’s Jim says he can’t socialize with Juicy as he runs a mortgage bank and it is a conflict of interest. Might want to tell your wife to stop kissing their asses then. Cut to Dina, Lexi has been denied acceptance to NYU. Dina gives her a gift and it is sweet. Dina is deep and kind and I'm glad she is not going dark in terms of her family. Happy she is back, happy to see Lexi, but hope we get more of a storyline than just her spiritual path because that will get old really fast.
Time for the guys to go bowling. Rosie is there, and Rich, which is gross. Rich Wakile is a pig and needs to get off this show. He is trashy and that his wife allows him to go off on Twitter makes her trashy too. Bobby won’t tell the truth about Jim not being there. He seems like a good guy, but there is an entire scene about him and he isn’t even a husband. Really Bravo? We don’t care about these people and it is lame for you to give us this crap so early in the season.
The twins are now shopping with Melissa and come clean with her, telling her Jim didn’t want to be with Juicy because of the legal problems. Melissa stands up for Juicy, which is lame. This entire week seems like a set up for Teresa and Juicy to be gone and it is pissing me off. The twins are throwing Jim and Amber under the bus and we see that nobody on this show can be trusted except possibly Tre and Juicy. How ironic is that? In the end we will like only them.
Melissa immediately tells the twins Amber spoke smack about Nicole. Nicole loses her mind and storms out leaving Melissa in the store, and goes over to Amber’s house to call her out for lying. The twins are out of gas and stop to put ten bucks in so they can get to Ambers ASAP. I am liking the twins at this exact moment. Quick jump to Dina, she is at home with James Van Praagh. I like James but we are back on the spirit path with Dina and I'm bored. Teresa comes over.
James pretends he knows nothing about her legal troubles and I'm laughing, He is compromising his reputation for RHONJ? He tells Teresa she will be moving. I could've predicted that. He tells her she'll be fine, but Juicy won’t. I could've predicted that too. This episode was all about gossip. In the end the twins postpone the attack on Amber for a party, which will be more acceptable. The week ends and I feel like I wasted an hour. Maybe next week they’ll start keeping it real.
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