We start this week with Teresa and her girls. Teresa has never looked better and her kids are gorgeous. They are funny, real kids and watching them reminds me of my sisters and me. Milania is hilarious, Audriana is a little doll, Gabriella is the classic middle girl, and Gia is like a grown up. I like these girls, like their mother, and wish we saw the kids more.
Teresa is having the girls make cards for her dad who is having a pacemaker put in. It is heartbreaking to be a parent, and watch your parents get old. I feel for Teresa and wish her father health and happiness always. Cut to Melissa, who is with Joe and her kids, who are also beautiful. They have their realtor come over to see why their house has not sold yet.
I do not understand how anyone can watch this show and not see how vindictive Melissa is. She works very hard to keep her husband away from his sister and it is disgusting. She says she goes to church to pray for her house to sell. Translation: she goes to church and prays Teresa and Joe never make up so the tension insures her more camera time.
Over to Caroline, Lauren is bitter, miserable, and still living at home. Caroline’s sister Fran is staying with them. She looks a little like Dina. Albert does not look good or happy. Caroline tells Albert Joe asked her to talk to Teresa. Really? Did I miss that? Joe did not ask her to do anything. Caroline knows the only way to be relevant is through Teresa.
I don’t trust Caroline, but I remember how she was in the beginning and she was great, so maybe she is trying to be that person again. Too much has happened to ever get there, but I guess it is good she is trying. One could also argue that she is not trying to mend fences, as much as she is trying to secure camera time on a show where she no longer matters.
Kathy and Richie are taking their son Joseph for a drive as he is going to get his license. Richie Wakile is hideous, his wife is boring, and his kids, while lovely, bring nothing to this show. I honestly have no idea why they are still here. We then jump to Jac, who in my opinion, is using her son to get sympathy and camera time. Bless her son, but she is an idiot.
Chris and Joe are playing pool and after Joe does his mandatory sex talk, he asks how Chris and Jac are doing. Chris says Jac is up late every night doing research on autism. Really? Jac is up all night on Twitter being a moron. To hear her speak of her son is heartbreaking and I honestly feel for her, but there is something fake about her that makes it not ring true.
Jac cries, with no tears, and Chris talks of their struggle. I do not respect Jac, but I will say that I wish Chris, Jac, and their family all the best and I will keep them, as well as all parents who deal with this situation, in my prayers. Who she is on this show is not who she is as a mother. I may not like her here, but I wish her and children health and happiness.
Caroline is with Lauren, again talking about how Joe asked her to talk to Teresa. Sidebar: for such a huge house, why is Lauren’s bedroom so small? Lauren’s opinion is stupid and of no interest to me. Caroline going on and on about Teresa is a waste of time. She is not interested in anything but trying to improve her image so she will sell books. Not happening.
Teresa is getting ready and talking to Juicy. I know he is a bit of a schmuck sometimes, but I love Juicy. Teresa and Juicy are hilarious, Caroline and Lauren are boring, and I am pouring another glass of wine. Kathy and Richie, who are truly revolting, are visiting Victoria who is mortified by her father, and wearing her hair dark, which looks really beautiful.
Kathy looks funny in her interviews. She is channeing her inner 40’s film siren but it is more drag queen. Bless her. Richie and Kathy don’t appear to even like each other, which makes sense because nobody likes Richie. We then head over to Jac’s house, as they are planning to have people over for dinner. Jac and Chris are talking about autism again.
Is this all they are going to talk about? Listen, it needs to be talked about, just not here. Over at Melissa’s house, the realtor is showing the house and Melissa and the whole family is home. Really? Real Estate 101, don’t have the homeowners home when you show the house. Melissa is full of crap, not particularly bright, and I am annoyed just listening to her.
Joe is talking about how great his house is, and how expensive it is, while the realtor is slamming the quality of the house upstairs. Perfection. Sidebar: Is it just me or does Melissa look a little like JLo tonight? Sorry JLo! Turns out their house is just like them, fake. The reason they have not sold their house is because it is simply not that great a house.
Caroline and Teresa meet for lunch. Oy vey. They are in a private room and Caroline thinks she is important. Teresa goes to shake her hand, but Caroline goes in for the kiss. She tells Teresa Joe asked her to come, and again, no he didn’t. Teresa says Caroline talking to her is scraping the bottom of the barrel. Bravo. Teresa is not buying it and is not interested.
Teresa is calm and collected, while Caroline is yelling and aggressive. Caroline is using examples that make no sense. Teresa is not an idiot. Caroline has lost all control and is now screaming about things that have nothing to do with what she wanted to meet her about. I am more Team Teresa than ever before, and will not be reading Caroline’s book.
While Teresa is out for lunch with Caroline, Jac is hosting dinner. Again with the lousy editing at Bravo. Jac is injected up the ass, and Richie is vulgar. Chris has been working with a therapist to get Nick to say I love you to Jac. Just the thought of that makes me cry. Nick says it and everyone cries, but Jac. I’m back to thinking she is a tool.
We snap back to lunch with Caroline and Teresa. Stupid. Teresa is not interested in Caroline’s crapfest. Caroline’s voice is offensive and she is not the one to be giving lessons here. She says her brain hurts, which is funny because we never knew she had one. I freaking love this show and whether or not I am a fan of one lady or the other, they are good TV.
The season is only two weeks in but it is all over the place. The editing makes no sense, there is no continuity, and it feels like they filmed a bunch of stuff then threw it together without any thought to the fact that we are all watching, and actually paying attention. In the end it does not matter because we are still watching, even if they don’t keep it real.
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