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Real Housewives of Miami Vegas Trip Recap

by Ilana Angel

November 3, 2013 | 6:58 pm

I don’t find these women appealing, can’t see myself being friends with any of them, and find it fascinating that they are still on TV.  Even the chicks of DC were more interesting than this lot, and they were not interesting at all. They don’t like each other, are out to actually hurt each other, and they behave like spoiled and entitled bitches.  This is a bunch mean girls.

Joanna is having a bachelorette party in Las Vegas and everyone is going but Marisol.  That she invited Adriana is disturbing and even if Bravo insisted, I would have put my foot down and refused.  Lisa is packing for the trip when her husband gets home.  Her marriage is crumbling and we are getting affront row seat.  It is uncomfortable to watch and feels dirty.

Her husband seems annoyed with her, and she is playing passive aggressive games.  She is convinced he will leave her if she doesn’t have a baby, and he is willing to try anything to have a baby. This marriage is struggling with miscommunication and assumptions. We are off to Vegas and I wonder why they’re not flying first class.

They arrive at the room and the fight for the best room is on. They are only there for one night so the fight over rooms is even more ridiculous. How old are these bitches? Why did Marisol not come? Why are we watching? Lisa is an idiot. By Lisa of course I mean all of these women are idiots. This show is making them famous for being plastic airheads. Barbie is smarter.

They are in bathing suits and off to the pool.  Lea’s jewelry for the pool is hideous, and the heals to go to a pool are laughable. Lea dances with a little person, convinced he is hitting on her.  Dear Lord. The girls go back to the room and are literally falling all over each other drunk.  It is embarrassing. They are now topless in their private pool and I am bored.

Why is Adriana wearing underwear and not a bathing suit bottom? Lea is pissed off that Adriana is getting along with everyone, and I am pouring another glass of wine. Lea’s voice I like nails on a chalkboard. Everyone is now getting dressed up for dinner. Alexia’s hair color is weird and these chicks wear more makeup than the Kardashian sisters.

The girls are now gambling. With all the money Lea has you’d think she would invest in a bra.  Lisa is hammered and belligerent. I am embarrassed for her husband that this is how she is representing herself and the issues in their marriage. They re on a party buss, with male strippers, and I am laughing at how pathetic this lot of washed us whore is. Too harsh?

The ladies are all jumping on he striper pole and Lea is trying to act like she is a lady, meanwhile she is drinking champagne out of the bottle and telling the strippers she hopes her son grows up to be just like them. Classy. The girls are sloppy and now dancing at a club.  Back in the bus Lisa is calling Joanna a whore and it is going down hill quickly.

Joanna responds to being called a whore by saying she did not marry for money like Lisa. Lisa insists it was a joke, Lea is stirring the pot, and Joanna the regular drunk is sober and level headed. The show ends with in a drunken mess and I am reminded why I don’t normally blog this crap fest. These chicks are not worth my time, and that is keeping it real.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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