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Keeping It Real

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December 13, 2011 | 8:26 am

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – RECAP

Posted by Ilana Angel

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Beautiful and ugly.

We start off with Taylor and Lisa having lunch at Lisa’s restaurant.  Taylor looks horrible and tells Lisa she can’t remember what happened at Brandi’s party because she was drunk.  Lisa is trying to be a supportive friend, which is weird because they were never friends before.  Taylor has lost the supportive ear of all the other women so of course she turns to Lisa, but I’m surprised Lisa agreed to do it.

Even stranger, is Pandora has invited Taylor to her Bachelorette party in Vegas.  By stranger of course I mean scripted.  It pisses me off when Bravo thinks we are dumb enough to believe this crap.  Lisa calls the Chippendale dancers chipmunks, and when Taylor thanks her for lunch, says she thought Taylor was paying for it.  Hilarious.  I constantly change my mind about Lisa and this week I love her. Shame they are forcing Taylor on her.

DD is over at Camille’s, still in love with her, and Brandi comes over for a visit which makes no sense because Camille lives really far and stopping in for a visit would not happen in Malibu unless it was scripted.  They are rehashing the party, referring to Taylor as needing an exorcism, and Camille defends herself.  Camille does not need to defend herself, she did nothing wrong. DD however, needs to shut the hell up. Who cares about DD?

Camille is gorgeous, Brandi is fun, and the editing is laughable.  Taylor just sat with Lisa for the first time, yet Camille says Lisa and Taylor are now good friends.  So lame.  Adrienne and Paul are off to tape a show together and their bickering is ridiculous.  It was cute in the beginning, but is now just silly.  Adrienne is a bitch, does not like Paul, and you have to wonder what is so great about her that Paul stays for the constant public humiliation.

Kyle is shopping with Faye Resnick and it’s annoying.  Why the hell do we have to constantly see Faye?  Bravo would be hard pressed to find a fan of hers. Does anyone like her? Lisa is shopping for wedding dresses with Pandora and it’s sweet.  Watching Lisa see the dresses is lovely.  Sadly she is once again wearing a dress that is too small and cannot walk in her heels, but still, she is likable this week and she has a fan in me.  For now.

In Vegas, Camille is showing off the penthouse of the Palms and it’s stupid because everyone is so impressed, but we’ve seen it a million times, for a million years.  Brandi and Dana arrive and Kim, as usual, bails with a phone call.  Lisa and the bachelorette party have also arrived and are staying at the Hard Rock.  Given the choice, I would stay there over the Palms too. Lisa’s suite is much nicer than the tackiness of The Palms.

Kyle bailed on Vegas so she could shoot the cover of her book.  A book she wrote about her life and passions.  Seriously?  Who cares about what Kyle Richards has to say about fashion and kids?  Is there a chapter about how to be a selfish sister who only cares about herself?  Is there a chapter about being a fame whore who has calluses from desperately hanging onto the coattails of your sisters and niece?  I’m guessing not.

Back in Vegas, Brandi, Camille, Dana and Adrianne are together and we are reminded that Dana is the most obnoxious and boring women they have ever shoved down our throats.  They better no bring this chick back.  I have interviewed her and she was fun, but it does not translate and she brings nothing to this show. Plus her fiancé is a jackass so I imagine his karma is part of her undoing.  Take care Dana.  It’s been boring.

It’s time for the Chippendale dancers and that is worth the price of admission.  These are some seriously attractive men and yet I am distracted by the size of Taylor’s mouth.  It is massive.  Lisa is thoroughly enjoying the show even though Taylor is annoying her.  The other girls go dancing and Brandi and Camille are having a blast together while poor DD is forced to watch the only person she will ever really love grind on someone else.

Kyle is shopping with her mother-in-law and “runs into” Kim.  We have not seen Kim forever, and when we do she is wasted, so it’s random.  Kim and Kyle sit to talk and Kim shares that her new relationship is not being accepted by her children and she is broken.  She is crying and clearly distraught, and Kyle is a cold bitch.  She is not supportive or comforting.  Her sister is crying and instead of hugging her, Kyle wants to talk about her weight.

It is heartbreaking to see Kim this way and I want to comfort her, but I want to kick Kyle more.  She is making this about her, not her sister.  Kim is falling apart and Kyle is trying to make herself cry.  Kim is lonely and asks Kyle for help, and Kyle is too concerned with the camera angles to help her. I am embarrassed for Kyle and mortified for Kim.  We have heard that she is now in rehab, which is good, but sad because she is probably alone.

We are shown a clip from next week and in 10 seconds I am left incredibly uncomfortable.  It is the white party and Taylor is told she cannot come in because Russell was not invited.  His face clearly tells us that he knew nothing about the things Taylor was saying about him.  The story of Russell and Taylor will all come out and we will see Taylor is hiding more than she is sharing. Time for Taylor to start keeping it real.

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Wow. You finally said what I have been waiting for someone else to say. Taylor is the one who set Russell up and he had no way out. If she really was being abused, she could have gotten off Bravo and addressed her issues. She wants to live like a movie star and have people pay her attention and not earn it. I hope people see her for what she is and what she did. Russell was not so likeable but she was not forced to get pregnant and marry him.

She is dispicable and really should not be on this show.

Kyle is awful. Total narcisiss and Kim is pitifull but she is not nice. Brandy can attest to that.

Comment by Lady Di on 12/13/11 at 9:07 am

We are blessedly coming to the end of this horrid season. I am hoping that at long last Russell will be given some vindication about these abuse charges from his apparent look of confusion why they were being told they were not welcome at that party. 

But mostly I am hoping to see all these castmates held up to derision for even allowing themselves to take part in this charade.  They all knew they were “playing with fire” in agreeing to go along with this “storyline” for the sake of ratings and declaring they had “no idea” won’t wash. 

I can’t think of anything less appetizing than to agree to film this season discussing someone’s marriage on camera and calling that “entertainment”.

Comment by Donna on 12/13/11 at 9:55 am

None of these women are “nice”.  Two faced famewhores who will stoop as low as possible to be considered “stars”. 

They all knew what the “storyline” would involve yet they were all prepared to “play along”.  No other castmate would ever allow their marriage to be drawn out this way: Kyle/Mauricio, Adrienne/Paul, Lisa/Ken? No way in hell!

But Taylor agreed and it appears that Russell had no idea of the treachery that was taking place behind his back.  She wanted out of this marriage, used the show to achieve it, and the others jumped on board. 

Only his suicide created an unprepared ending to “poor Taylor suffers through divorce” for Season 3.

Comment by Donna on 12/13/11 at 10:02 am

I waited for your blog on this episode and you did not disappoint. I think Taylor set Russell up for a fall for the sake of the divorce. I don’t think she expected him to commit suicide. In the coming attractions it’s clear that Russell didn’t know Taylor was the one doing the talking, he threatened Camille with a law suit. Where did Camille get her information? How did any of them know of his alleged abuse.

Comment by Chamein on 12/13/11 at 10:36 am

Your recap is always spot on!!
I too think Taylor just used this show as a platform for her divorce plans. I think she’s truly undone. I really hope Bravo sees the self-destruction and takes her off.
This season isn’t enjoyable because of Taylor and the sadness surrounding Kim. I don’t dislike Kim at all. I just think she’s got so many demons.
Great recap—better than the show. The only really funny part was watching that adorable dog find a cozy spot on that couch!! Made me laugh.

Comment by Chris on 12/13/11 at 10:48 am

Whoa, your recap was so accurate I had to read it twice!  You are spot on that Taylor setup Russell but whether she was planning to divorce him or just using her complaints about him to make her sympathetic to the other women remains to be seen.  I can’t believe if they hadn’t been caught embezzling from investors that she would have ever left him.  She has no common bonds with the other women, their only concern, pity, confusion and finally exasperation with her nonstop “I’m the victim” routine.

I agree DeDe should shut up but Camille’s comment that Lisa and Taylor are now best friends seemed more sarcastic to me, especially since she referenced the fact that Taylor spent the last 18 months hating on Lisa.

Thank you for calling Kyle out as a bitch. Her treatment of Kim is sickening.

Comment by ViviW on 12/13/11 at 1:37 pm

The whole Taylor Russell story make me sick. Taylor is more concerned about being famous than her family. Have you ever seen a sader little girl that there on her birthday. I hope Taylor gets kicked off the show. She plays the victim card and it is sick. If she was a REAL avicate she would be showing how to get help with abuse.

Comment by Dawn on 12/13/11 at 1:37 pm

I just don’t know what to make of this Taylor-Russell drama. There is so much information that we don’t know able and its getting creepy.

Where does Bravo get these people?

Comment by CaliSteve on 12/13/11 at 2:07 pm

You are an excellent, witty writer!

Comment by Sherry on 12/13/11 at 4:19 pm

spot on about Kyle! I felt SO SORRY for Kim when she was talking to Kyle…the poor thing OBVIOUSLY has made a habit of putting others before herself and now that she is finally lonely enough to try and find some happiness, her entire family is putting her down for it. She knows there is no way to win-she can’t have her kids happy, her sister happy and herself happy because no one cares enough about Kim to support her and her decisions. IF there’s a valid reason for her family to not trust Kim’s judgement, they haven’t shown it yet. So glad she is in treatment and I hope she gets the help she needs to realize that it’s time for her to make herself happy before anyone else-she has given enough of her life to others!

Comment by camkid on 12/13/11 at 4:44 pm

I can no longer bring myself to watch the BH installment of this franchise so I rely on bloggers/commenters to bring me up to date & it seems there’s some dispute that Kyle did, indeed, hug Kim at some point in that scene & even cried with her.

I realize you don’t feel the love with Kyle & it’s safe to say all of the HWs at one time or another exhibit behavior worthy of criticism; however, as a sibling I can attest that sometimes emotionally/psycologically problematic sisters can puzzle you as to the best way to help.  The entire gamut from support (to the point of enabling) to tough love & everything in between is sometimes not enough to help them or alleviate the anguish that their demons can inflict on a caring family. 

I don’t know if you can relate but I cut Kyle some slack.

Comment by MaggieG on 12/13/11 at 5:15 pm

I take no pleasure in watching Adrienne show absolute disdain for her husband.  Bravo may think it’s cute, like the “Loretta and Leroy Lockhorn” comic strip, but it’s neither cute nor clever.  It’s just plain rude.

Comment by Missy on 12/13/11 at 7:05 pm

I agree with MaggieG - I think the whole Kyle and Kim thing is much too complicated to pass judgement on. I commend Kim for being so open about her emotions, she really is very candid and geniune - much much more than anyone else on the show. Hopefully she’s getting the help she needs. To me it seems clear that Kyle loves her sister very much and just wants to help - even though she gets it wrong sometimes. Who doesn’t?

Comment by JH on 12/14/11 at 11:45 am

Taylor’s drunk, doesn’t remember anything, but remembers what DeDe did said and did on behalf for Camille.  Which is it?  Once again, while I do believe that there was abuse in their marriage, any public support for this woman has mostly eroded.  Kennedy is the saddest child I’ve ever seen since Danielle Staub’s children.

The Palms is for old ladies.  Pandora can have her hen party wherever she chooses.

Comment by Missy on 12/14/11 at 12:10 pm

I only hope Taylor’s upcoming book sells well so she can repay all the people she de-FRAUDed.  I think this whole domestic abuse idea was cooked up as a defense against the lawsuit filed earlier this year.  She’s due to appear in court on December 16 - wonder if Bravo is going to cover that (haha)

Comment by Terry on 12/14/11 at 12:49 pm

I have to say, Maggie and JH you have made good points. I’ll try to cut Kyle a little slack in the future…family relations are tough enough to navigate sometimes without having a tv audience chime in as well. It’s obvious that Kyle and Kim love each other and are very close-I would just like to see Kim get a little more support and hate to see her so upset.

Comment by camkid on 12/14/11 at 5:32 pm

Ilana angel..where do you get off calling all these people names and how do you know what they are thinking.  Talk about a bitch…pot calling the kettle black. If you people don’t like these people why do you watch the show and make them famous since you hate the fact that they are getting famous off this show.

Comment by Cheryl Cruce on 12/15/11 at 9:07 am

She gets off saying her opinion because that’s her job. She’s right on target with her observations and you should feel free to not log on and read. The rest of us enjoy her.

Comment by Lady Di on 12/15/11 at 10:04 am

As usual I can count on you to tell it like it is!!!!!!  I’m reading and saying to myself-do I really need to watch my tivo shows???  I totally agree with your “take” on HBHW-no Real.  lol Carry on and Thank you.

Comment by eve on 12/15/11 at 2:51 pm

Kim does deserve some sympathy, but like many of the other women on this show (her sister in particular), she has a mean streak.  She started the fight with Brandi.  I don’t think Kim is a “tweaker.”  She’s classic booze-and-pills.  She was clearly impaired at Game Night, and Brandi called her on it.  She may not have had the substance right, but she knew Kim was “on something.”  Kim was clearly not confident in her sobriety, not during that episode, and not on the next episode, when she gave the weak excuse of antidepressants for her behavior.  I do hope she gets the help that she needs, and I hope that she is not homeless, but it’s easy to see how that could happen:  living beyond your means, moving with strange men, and so forth.

These shows are also becoming a little explicit for my taste: the language, c&@c socks, etc.

Comment by Missy on 12/15/11 at 6:11 pm

From realytea:

“lisa: “life in beverly hills is a game, and i rule you”

kyle: “im not the richest girl in beverly hills, but i am the bitchiest.’

kim: “people try to figure me out but im just alcoholic”

taylor: “i finally found my voice and im a social climber”

adrienne: “having it all is easy if you have rich parents”

camille: ” diamonds arent a girls bestfriend a dildo is.”

Comment by Missy on 12/15/11 at 7:21 pm

As usual, I enjoyed reading your commentary!  Most of it is right on target.  the whole Russell thing is so sad and unfortunate. I wonder if we will ever know the truth. Brandi is I feel the most “real” of the housewives at this point. the comments about her choice of no bra are just mean-spirited! Realyteas comments: hilarious!!

Comment by Texas fan on 12/17/11 at 6:17 pm

BTW, the “vintage” clothing store where Kyle and Kim “Just ran into each other” happens to belong to their sister Kathy Hilton, where she dumps her own trashy clothing for resale to her lesser-than relatives.

Comment by Missy on 12/18/11 at 2:53 pm

@ Missy: LOL!  Talk about spot on…

Comment by Nicole on 12/20/11 at 1:30 pm

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