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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills High School

by Ilana Angel

November 12, 2012 | 7:36 pm

Joe Pugliese/Bravo © NBC Universal, Inc.

We start off this week with Vile Kyle. (I got that from a Twitter follower. Love it!)  She meets Adrienne for some shopping.  Kyle asks her what she is going to do about Lisa, and Adrienne agrees they need to speak.  Here’s the thing, these women cannot stand each other and we can see it, so using each other to create storylines is offensive to me as a fan.

Adrienne says she needs to be the one to apologize because Lisa never will. Here’s the thing dumbass, Lisa does not owe you an apology, and the only reason you are going to do it is for screen time.  We cannot stand Adrienne and so she better start sucking up to those we do like or we will fast forward every one of her scenes to escape boredom.

Important to note I already skip over Adrienne, and have for a couple of years. There is nothing interesting about this women other than her husband and now that he’s gone, I couldn’t care less.  Kyle says she supports Lisa in the fight and that annoys me.  Kyle is willing to support everyone but her own sister.  She’s a total fame whore and I don’t get her.

Over at Taylor’s, she is talking to her housekeeper and all I can think is she needs to get a job.  What does she do other than kill people?  Kyle is over for dinner with her husband and two of her kids, then Adrienne and Paul show up.  Taylor says she made Mexican food, then we see the catering supplies.  Taylor is a pathological liar and she sickens me.

Adrienne is not eating, Paul is pointing it out, and we are watching their marriage unravel.  Taylor, in an attempt to free the world of domestic violence, asks the men to do a charity event where they will walk in high heals.  Bravo is making us sit through a lot of crap to get to the good stuff. By good stuff of course I mean anything without Taylor.

Kyle is going to move her kid’s birthday party to accommodate the walk and I am screaming at the TV.  The editor on this show should be fired. Taylor was already invited to the party and accepted.  Why didn’t she mention the walk when she was invited?  This show is stupid and proof that cast members should be swapped out after 3 years to keep it fresh.

Adrienne and Paul are shopping for his charity shoes. Blah, blah, blah.  She clearly hates him and it is gross.  Her fake laugh is nauseating.   We leave the old and head over to the new, Yolanda, who is visiting her 17 year old daughter Gigi, who is a model.  This is a spectacular looking girl and I imagine her mother is no walk in the park.

She is sweet, talking to her mom, who tells her she needs to stick to her diet. Really?  The chick is a twig, and her mom is a bitch for saying she needs a diet.  She tells us she is not a stage mom, then proceeds to dump stage mom crap all over her kid.  I like her, but she will be doing herself a favor by keeping her stage mom self off camera because I will turn on her.

Paul, Adrienne, Mouricio, and Taylor are taking a private jet to the charity event.  Really?  Who paid for it?  I thought I would like this season but after two episodes I can see it is going to be more bashing that loving.  A bashing blog is much more fun to write, so I’m not complaining, but as much fun as it is, it is exhausting.  Time for a drink.

Kyle is prepping for the birthday party and I have to wonder why in the hell she is wearing heels to run around getting her house ready.  Really?  Put on some flats.  The carnival birthday party is cute, but seriously a waste of money.  It’s a dog and pony show, with ponies, to show that she is fancy. Kyle makes no sense to me and I hate watching her.

They are jumping back and forth between the charity walk and the birthday party, and I am not interested in either one.  Kyle wants to throw a dinner to help Lisa and Kyle make up, but Lisa is not having it.  She won’t come and tells Kyle to not get involved.  Kyle assures her she is not meddling, and in the end I think Lisa rocks and Kyle sucks.

Brandi arrives to the party and she is stressed out she has no back up.  She needs to get the hell out of there quick.  Kyle is a snake and she will screw her over.  Taylor arrives, as does Camille, Dana, and Faye. Oy Vey.  All the cackling hens.  Taylor ignores Brandi and so Brandi bails out and sends a text to Kyle and Camille that she is out.

Again, the editing and obvious scripting is pathetic.  Brandi tells Kyle and Camille she is leaving as Kim shows up.  Camille and Dana are completely inappropriate with Kim and I cannot believe people that love Kim allowed her to come back after only one month out of rehab.  Kim is a lovely woman and I feel bad that nobody wants to protect her.

Cut to Kyle running to Camille to show her a text from Brandi saying she left. Seriously?  She told them she was leaving, so why the text, and why send it to Camille?  This show is lame and I’ve got twenty bucks that says the editor is blind and does not speak English. Just when I think it can’t get worse, Adrienne and Paul show up to the party.

Taylor is talking to Kim and she is hammered.  Taylor not Kim.  Taylor puts her hand to God on a quote from Brandi, which we know is not true.  This chick should be careful because lightening is looking for her. Over to Paul and Adrienne, Kyle tells them Lisa left because of work, and Adrienne is upset everyone is on Lisa’s side. Adrienne is a loser.

I love this show, I really do, but they make it so hard to watch.  If we are going to watch Kim struggle, Taylor drink, Kyle lie, and Adrienne complain for the entire season, I am going to check out. By check out course I mean drink more. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.  Next week looks like a train wreck so I will get some wine and keep it real.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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