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Real Housewives of Atlanta – Siamese Cats?

by Ilana Angel

November 11, 2013 | 5:50 am

Every season, in every city, Bravo tells us this is the best year yet when it comes to the housewives.  It never is, until now. We are only two weeks in but I think this might really be the best season for Atlanta. It is a great group, they don’t really like each other, use each other for camera time, throw a lot of shade, and are too busy living to worry about lying too much.

I am hooked and I watching with new interest. I’m not sure I would think they were as entertaining if I were an African American woman from Atlanta, but it’s all in good fun and we know all women of color are not like this crazy, self absorbed, fame whoring group. Think what you want about them, there is no denying these chicks are good TV.

We start this week at court where Kenya has won her lawsuit against her landlord, who tried to evict her for not paying rent. Kenya is not surprised to see the paparazzi there, and it is hilarious because it is one guy. Just one. Kenya is not nearly as famous or important as she thinks she is. I hope she thanks God for RHOA because it is the only reason we know who she is.

Over with Porsha, she gets her first $5000 spousal support check and decides she doesn‘t want to use it to pay rent, so she moves in with her mom. Does anyone else think Porsha’s mom looks like Beyonce’s mom? They could be sisters. There is a lot of talk about money with Porsha and that is a shame because she is coming across as a gold digger and I don’t think she is.

Nene is meeting with Kenya, who appears to have forgotten to wash her hair.  Nene is my favorite and calls out Kenya for her fake crying. In my opinion Kenya is a liar and that she is still talking about Walter is fascinating.  She barely dated him, never slept with him, and she is delusional about their relationship. Nene sets her straight and hopefully we can let Walter go.

Nene points out that it is when you are going to see an ex you should really twirl. Amen. She also points out that with all the dick in Atlanta you don’t need to steal another woman’s man. Amen. I love me some Nene. Kenya does not know the difference between implicating and implying, bless her. She may be pretty, and a businesswoman, but she is also a little dumb.

Cynthia is with her loser of a husband talking about her stomach being bloated.  It is brave of her to talk about it and show her tummy on camera, and her honesty is a charming as her husband is not charming.  I think Peter is an ass wipe and she needs to dump him already. Cynthia has fibroids and is hoping to have surgery to help with her pain and discomfort.

We jump to the Kandi compound where Cynthia has come over for a scripted visit.  Kandi’s hair is not working for me.  Don’t get it. Kandi explains to Cynthia that her mom is not supportive of her getting married.  I feel bad for Kandi.  She just can’t get a break when it comes to love. Porsha joins the fun, as does Phaedra, who says that Porsha has a small brain. Such a bitch.

Phaedra tries so hard to be a southern belle but she is a gutter pig. Know it. They are talking about Kenya being inappropriate with Apollo and throw out a Monica Lewinsky joke.  Really? That was a million years ago and to be clear, I would have blown President Clinton  too. Sorry. But yes, I would have. Surely there are more recent blow jobs that can be referenced than Lewinsky.

Over at Phaedra’s house, she is living in squalor. Her babies are beautiful. For someone who is so busy, Phaedra certainly finds time to complain.  It is all she does.  Her marriage is crumbling, we are watching, and no matter how she tries to spin it, it ain’t looking good. The constant passive aggressive digs at each other are uncomfortable to watch. He is going to dump her.

Cynthia and Peter are off to the doctor and Peter is being a schmuck. Cynthia is a perfect candidate for the surgery she needs and is relieved. Bravo for sharing this part of her life as it will help people. Cut to the big meeting, where Nene has gathered the entire group to talk so they can move on with the season.  Atlanta is hilarious when they are scripted to hang out.

Kenya is back peddling and it is pathetic. She is denying what she said, trying to spin it, and looks like a moron. This conversation is a bit boring because everyone is talking around it, rather than hit is head on. Porsha is all kinds of ballsy and I love it. Kenya is crazy, Phaedra knows this was as much Apolo’s fault as Kenya’s, then Phaedra jumps to the aids situation. Ouch.

Phaedra reminds Kenya that she accused them of having aids, Kenya denies it, then we see the tape of her saying it. Kenya is not only a delusional bitch, but she is mean spirited and out to cause drama, which works well on a show like this. Week two and she is digging herself a huge hole. Nobody likes Kenya so it will be interesting to see how she plays out during the season.

Porsha is moving into her mom’s house and points out that she and her sister are so close they are like Siamese cats.  Not twins, cats. Dear Lord. To be that pretty and dumb is just good TV. Porsha gets her mom to give her the master suite and her mother move into a spare room.  Really? I get the mom saying yes to that option, but shame on Porsha for even asking her.

Porsha gets a text message that Cordell is packing up all her crap and delivering it to her mother’s house. I am not buying for one minute that her lawyer is texting this information. He would have called. We are smarter than the writers of this show, which is annoying. After all the money we make for Bravo you’d think they could hire a good writer and not a dumbass.

Kandi is with her mom, who has moved into Kandi’s old house. Kandi’s mom needs to get a job and stop living off her daughter. She starts bagging on Todd and how he is cheating and using Kandi for her money. It would appear that everyone in Kandi’s life is worried about her money and how they will get less of it with Todd in the picture. I feel very sad for Kandi and this drama.

She is supporting a lot of people and it would appear money is more important than Kandi to many of these people.  I like Kandi. The stress of her mother and Todd fighting is causing her to cry and make really bad hair choices.  Bless her. Kandi’s mom needs to back down. This season is going to be good because the women of Atlanta are really trying to keep it real.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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