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Real Housewives of Atlanta: RECAP

by Ilana Angel

January 16, 2012 | 11:51 am

We are back in Atlanta and is it just me or are these women getting boring? Furthermore, is a trip to South Africa really going to make them any more entertaining? These women no longer like each other so the interactions are ridiculous.  Give NeNe and Marlo their own show, give Phaedra her own show, and call it a day.  The rest can simply go away.

We start the show with Kim getting a gun lesson because Kroy will feel better if she can protect herself.  They actually take the baby with them to the gun shop/shooting range.  Really? Baby Kroy sleeps through the entire visit, which they want us to think took hours.  Nothing annoys me more than when Bravo thinks we’re dumb.

Here’s the thing, Kim yanks out a boob at the drop of a hat and is constantly complaining about feeding the baby every couple of hours.  She even put her children in danger by pumping her breasts while driving on the freeway, so how is it she was at the gun range for hours and never complained about it once?  Because it’s fake.  I’m so over her.

Phaedra and Apollo are having lunch with Peter and Cynthia to ease the tension between the men.  Apollo is really sweet, Peter is really annoying, Phaedra is really entertaining and Cynthia really needs to rethink her bangs.  They are all trying to be nice, but it’s just weird because they don’t like each other and you can smell how fake it is.

Phaedra tells Cynthia about the trip to South Africa and Cynthia is in. Cynthia calls Apollo Opollo, and it’s sad that Phaedra wants us to think she is hosting the ladies.  None of these chicks have real money, and those that do are not taking everyone on a trip.  This is going to be Morocco all over again, which is good, but cannot save this show.

NeNe is at a meeting with her new partner John. They are investing in a lounge of some kind and while I don’t get why that would be of interest to her, good for her.  John is clearly smitten with Nene and I’m guessing the lounge is not his ultimate goal.  I love Nene but I’m not getting this deal for her.  Get the shoes and get out.

Speaking of which, John congratulates Nene on their partnership with another pair of Louboutins, and NeNe tells us she loves a gift.  She is a little embarrassed and I think her reaction is really cute. She understands his desire to give her gifts because it means he gets to look at her.  Seriously, give this woman her own show.

Kandi and Phaedra are at an African dance class in anticipation of their fake friends trip.  Phaedra is amazing in it, while Kandi is a dud.  Kandi is just not cute.  Now remember, she does not like to gossip, and does not read the blogs, but she pulls up Marlo’s mug shots on her phone and it’s pathetic.  She is the queen of gossip.

Kim goes to her psychic and I’m skipping over it and going straight to the African history museum with Phaedra and Sheree.  Phaedra is on a mission to get everyone excited about the trip.  How it is that Sheree wants us to think she has enough money to build a chateau, yet can’t seem to afford to get her hair done for a shoot day?

Phaedra is talking about how fancy she is and also disrespecting the museum and the history of African Americans by touching the exhibits and checking the junk of a mannequin.  She was mortified Cynthia would be uncivilized by asking her age, but thinks looking under the loincloth of an exhibit piece is appropriate and civilized behavior?

Sheree says she will go on the trip to South Africa because she is willing to deal with NeNe in order to not give up the opportunity of the trip.  It has nothing to do with NeNe.  Sheree is going because it’s free and she don’t got any money.  Phaedra, Sheree, Kandi and Cynthia are now all confirmed for the trip to the motherland.  Buckle up.

Phaedra is calling the Vice President of Ghana and it’s hilarious because he clearly has no idea who she is, but she says, “I’m sure you’ve heard I’m coming”.  That one scene was the best part of the show.  That is unless you include the commercials. Real Housewives of Orange County look fantastic.  Can’t wait to say goodbye to Atlanta.

Momma Joyce has a dinner and invites all the ladies.  It’s a desperate measure that Bravo needs a fake dinner just to get the girls together.  They all hate each other so how does this show keep going? NeNe is there, but so are Sheree and Kim, who are openly and aggressively hating on her Their jealousy is palpable.

The entire dinner is stupid and proof this show simply does not work any longer because these women don’t work anymore.  Joyce is trying to get them to be friends but it’s just not going to happen.  She tells them all to dig deep which is good, but makes them talk to each other and it’s painful.  Stupid and painful.

Joyce is talking about how they are all beautiful black women and Kandi points out that Kim is in fact not a black woman.  It was funny.  Sheree is over it and wants to move on.  It was a valiant effort by Joyce, but in the end an epic fail.  They get to talking about Africa and NeNe says she is not going on the trip.

Everyone leaves the dinner and NeNe let’s Kandi know she will think about the trip.  We see a preview for next week and learn not only is NeNe going to South Africa, she brings along Marlo.  Next week could be good.  It will just be temporary of course, because this cast is over and Africa needs to be the big finish.  That is keeping it real.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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