Dear Lord. These women are a mess. With the exception of Phaedra and Kandi, they don’t like each other. Porsha has been sent home and Andy says “they” don’t condone physical violence and I am laughing because “they” thrive on it. Bravo knows violence is ratings gold and they are thrilled with the rather tragic breakdown of Porsha. The truth is Porsha is not interesting and hitting or not, she should be let go.
Andy wants to talk about the blow up and Kenya is calm, cool, and pointing fingers at Porsha. She refuses to admit any wrongdoing in the situation and does not think putting the scepter or bullhorn in Porsha’s face should result in her getting hit. Agreed, but there is blame on them both. Nene is being a complete and total bitch and her lack of grace here will cost her votes on Dancing With The Stars, including mine.
We are five minutes in and they have talked about nothing. Who cares about this? Porsha went home, move on. Kenya is going on and on about how she fought her whole life, from the streets of Detroit, and I'm laughing. She sounds like she is answering a Miss USA question and I am done. Nene is uptight and does not even try to act like she wants to be there. Probably because she is not that good an actress.
Time to talk about Nene and Phaedra’s trip to Athens. We are reminded Nene likes to stir up trouble and Kenya likes to pour oil on the fire. They are talking about Chuck sleeping with both Phaedra and Kandi and I could not possibly care any less. Nene is called out for lying about knowing Phaedra and commenting on Phaedra’s sexual exploits. Nene says she apologized to Phaedra for talking smack and I’m annoyed.
Does Nene think we are stupid? I love her but enough already. She is being shady, throwing shade, being mean, and acting above the rest of the women when she is part of the same train wreck. She better climb down off her homemade pedestal before she falls. This woman is a star when it comes to the housewives, but her delusions of grandeur are not cute. Time for a reality check for Nene before she goes too far.
Phaedra is talking about Nene calling her the “Head Doctor”, when Kenya pipes in and says Nene would have known about the nickname as it was in court documents. Not sure what that is all about but Phaedra fires back telling Kenya she is not a housewife because she can’t get a husband. Kenya says she can get Apollo because he strays. Oy vey. These chicks are brutal. Phaedra calls Kenya barren which is cruel.
Then Kenya points out how Christian that is of Phaedra, who responds by calling her Miss. America, and we are officially watching gutter pigs battle it out. They are very mean to each other and it is not even shocking, which says a lot about this show, and also our tolerance for garbage. Andy is excited “Dick Doctor” and “Dick Surgeon” were trending on Twitter yet he want us to think violence is bad? He loves it.
It is time for Momma Joyce, who is crazy. She has lost 40 pounds and says it is because of stress. She could have avoided all her previous diets by having met Todd earlier and I wonder if she is drunk. She looks good, but still bat shit crazy. Andy asks if she has any remorse about her actions during the season and bless her, she does not know what remorse means. Is Kandi actually standing up to her mom?
The reunion was filmed one week before Kandi got married and Joyce is being rude, disrespectful, and ungrateful. I could skip over this whole thing but I want to hear Kandi finally fight back. Andy is reading fan email and Joyce is funny, but insane, and Kandi is humiliated and rolling her eyes. I seriously think Joyce is wasted and I find this to be very uncomfortable to watch and she shouldn’t be there.
Joyce is going on and on about how she is independently wealthy and Kandi sets her straight saying she supporteed her mother because she spent all her money on gambling and the HSN. Kandi gets mad and says her mother does not need to explain her finances, but her feelings are hurt that her mother refuses to acknowledge her participation in her support. Joyce is now rambling and incoherent.
Joyce says she liked the play but it was not a true story. When asked if anything was true, she said it was true she loved Kandi. Translation: She hated it. Andy is asking the other women about Joyce and again, who cares? Joyce needs to go. I'm bored and she needs a cup of coffee. Andy thanks Joyce for answering questions and I wonder what exactly is it she answered? She stammered and said nothing.
Joyce is out and we are now talking about the friendship of Cynthia and Nene. Cynthia says she has been loyal to Nene, which is interpreted as kissing her ass. Cynthia says he apologizes for a lot of things, as does Nene, but Nene does not respect her. Cynthia says they have not spoken in weeks and Nene is nasty about it. She thinks they have dealt with it and moved on already, but Cynthia has lingering resentment.
This fight is stupid and there is something else going on. Cynthia is crying, praying to Jesus, and Nene is cold as ice. At the end of the day Cynthia genuinely loved Nene, and Nene needed Cynthia at one point, and now doesn’t. Therapist Andy tries to interpret, but Nene does not want tot talk about it. They are friends, on a show together, and Queen Bitch doesn’t want to talk about it? There go more dancing votes.
Kenya jumps in and points out how disrespectful Nene is. Kenya is a good talker and Nene is now screaming she is a good friend, which she clearly is not. Andy reminds Nene she has lost friendships with Sheree, Kim, and Marlo, and wonders if she wants the same thing to happen with Cynthia. Cynthia answers by saying it doesn’t matter. Nene can dish it out but not take it and I’m with Cynthia on this one.
Cynthia brings up Nene calling Peter a bitch, which is the real issue. She clearly got in trouble from Peter when people bitched her out for not standing up to Nene. Too late now. Kenya is trying to help but Nene is shutting that down. We end in yelling and immaturity. Next week the husbands join and I will need to buy some more vodka. I am ready for this to be over and that is keeping it real.
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