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Jewish Journal

RHOA is a Broken Record

by Ilana Angel

January 13, 2014 | 7:54 am

At what point are these chicks going to figure out that they are humiliating themselves? I get there is money, fame and success involved, but there is also humiliation. I could start with some of the clothing choices, but why bother. We start with Phaedra and Kandi talking about the trip to Athens. Phaedra is late to everything because she is a new mom, but here she is sitting in the yard gossiping with Kandi in the middle of the day.

Kandi’s hair is bad, Phaedra looks like a linebacker, and both of them are annoyed that Chuck called them part of his whore team, not real women in his life. Phaedra is funny. Kandi is mean and sometimes I forget that because she cries so much. Over to Cynthia, she is going to host a trunk show for her sister’s jewelry. Her beaded bracelets are hideous. Sorry, but come on. 

Peter walks in and the drama begins. Peter is a pig to me but I feel bad Cynthia has brought in her sister to cause drama. The woman has no storyline and uses her sister and daughter to get one. She wants to end her marriage, has no balls to do it, so she is bringing in back up to get it done. The talk of their sex life is humiliating and I am mortified by these people. This is simply not good television and Bravo needs to figure it out.

We jump to Kenya who has her dad visiting. He is a curmudgeon, she is crying about her mom again, and we are right back in humiliation mode. Her mother abandoned her, we get it. She has been on the show long enough to know that if her mom wanted contact she would have reached out. She has not, will not, and Kenya needs to move on. An entire season of her crying about her mom will put me over the edge.  Atlanta is not bringing it.

Porsha is with her divorce attorney, same one as Nene. She went to meditation and nothing was sorted out. They also did not have a pre-nup, so the divorce continues. Porsha is really, really dumb. I just can’t. Over to Kandi, she is with Todd pushing her musical. Again.  He has been offered a job in New York and I am trying to dig deep to a place where I can care about any of these people. I love RHOA but they are a broken record.

Kandi is crying because Todd wants to leave to work on a TV show and it is confusing. They are clearly struggling in their relationship because of her Mom to be sure, but she is dramatic, he is playing games with her, and it is lame. How about Kandi tells her Mom to shut up, forgets about the dumb play, marries her man, and gets on with her life. To think we will have an entire season of Kandi’s stupid drama is funny. Not really.

Nene and Cynthia are visiting with Kenya and her dad. Kenya is painting her house on her own. She has no money if she is painting herself. There is a new Bentley in the driveway, which Kenya says her new man bought her. Not buying it. There is no way she got a new car and did not tell anyone about it. No way. Kenya is jealous Nene was asked to do Kandi’s play and wishes she had been asked. Nene’s ego won’t let her do Kandi’s dumbass play.

Porsha has Phaedra and Kandi over to her mansion, where she lives by herself. Mr. President pukes on her. Classic. Kandi and Phaedra tell Porsha she is stupid to have such a big house so far from the city. Porsha tells them Cordell told her to come home. Bullshit. There is no way he told her to come home. We are watching the same thing over and over again, which is ridiculous because we didn’t believe them when we saw it the first time.

Time for the ugly jewelry trunk show. Kandi wants Gladys Knights to be in her show. Okay. That’s happening. Kenya arrives and her red dress is perfection. Kandi gossips to everyone not to gossip about Porsha moving. Nene arrives with Mynique. Phaedra and Kenya immediately tell Nene about Porsha’s move and Nene goes off that Porsha is a bad friend. Phaedra runs to Porsha and tells her Nene knows, then Porsha runs to Nene. Too late.

Nene tells Porsha she is a bad friend so Porsha walks off crying. Kenya is pissed off Porsha is milking her divorce for sympathy, which is hilarious coming from the woman who milks her mother situation every single minute. I’m bored. Here’s the thing, Atlanta and Beverly Hills are both boring and the arrival of the ladies of New York City cannot come fast enough. We are loyal and Bravo is giving us crap that just can’t keep it real.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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