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Jewish Journal

Married to Medicine Needs an IV – STAT

by Ilana Angel

June 2, 2014 | 7:15 am

I like this show, and the women on it, but I have lost my patience and this may be my last blog of the season. This show is a mess and if they don’t get it together quickly they will lose us. The friendships are strained and transparent, while the simple presence of others sucks the joy out of the show. Toya and Lisa Nicole are boring and annoying and have no place on reality television. Dr. Jackie and Dr. Simone are dumbing themselves down while showing sides of their lives that should remain private. Mariah and Quad have screwed up one of the funniest female duos to ever be on TV. 

I’m not even drinking tonight because I don’t want to waste good hooch on a show that can’t be made even a little interesting with a drink or two. I’m going to race through this week because it is so boring and predictable that I can write this blog without even really watching. As for next week, I will watch the first 15 minutes and if I am getting the same thing, I will be out.  We start this week with all the women doing things with their kids. Whatever. This is crap to fill time because it is so boring to watch them fight and spend all their time lying, and trying to establish themselves as the most important cast member.

Heavenly is with her daughter Alaura, getting ready for a birthday party Lisa is planning for her daughter. Heavenly is clearly annoyed we are more interested in her kid than her. That kid needs her own show and Heavenly needs to be off this one. Cut to Simone and Jackie, they are talking smack about everyone while peppering it with medical talk to remind us they are doctors. They were more interesting when they were doctors first and gossips second. That order has changed and they are not as impressive as they once were. I actually feel sad about the turn this show has taken. It was great, then good, and now bad.

Quad is meeting with Reco and I just can’t. Quad is a caricature and her voice grates on my nerves. She sits around at night trying to come up with new catch phrases and to hear her try to sound like Mariah is annoying. She cannot pronounce Swarovski. Not because it is difficult to say, but rather because she is an idiot. They are yapping like dogs, while they design for dogs, and I think this is stupid. Quad is unaware and pretentious, so desperate for fame she is unable to see exactly how stupid her fashion idea is. Dogs don’t need clothes. Kids need food. Change focus and get your head out of your own ass.

Lisa Nicole is puling together her daughter’s party. This chick bugs me. From her voice, to the way she hunches, I can’t get into her. She is an idiot on the show, a bigger idiot on Twitter, and I can’t. I skip over her and end up at Toya. No. Skipping over Toya. This woman is not meant for television. We are now with Jackie who is complaining about how hard her life is and how exhausted she is as a doctor. This is all build up I’m sure to her not having time to have a baby. A baby her husband doesn't want, and one she is not convinced she wants either. She storms out of work like a spoiled brat. Really? This show is lame on an epic level.

Reco goes to Quad’s to work on her stupid dog clothes and tells her he was served with a restraining order from Mariah. I love Mariah but she is doing herself no favors here. He is not going to hurt her and even if he tried, she could take him. Quad is a backstabbing bitch and you can’t trust her as far as you can throw her. Quad is looking to be a star and it makes her an ungrateful and selfish pig. Her gossiping about Mariah feeling desperate and playing victim is just dumb. Mariah is on another level from Quad. She is at the top while Quad is in the gutter looking for something to grab onto to get herself up.

Time for the princess party. Quad calls to say she is not coming while Lisa gets her hair and make up done. This is a waste of money and makes them look gross. Everyone starts to arrive and the talk is immediately about telling Mariah she is not invited on the couple’s camping trip. Really? Lisa arrives in a carriage with her family and I'm done. Her voice is not made for TV. She talks too slow and I want to shake her so she will talk faster. Dwight is there and I am fascinated at how this man managed to stay on television. Skipping this crap.

Mariah arrives late with her husband and kids. She brings her mom and sister. Mariah needs to handle things on her own and leave Lucy and Lake at home. No good eve comes from them being included. Mariah knocks on the door and is denied access as she is late. For the love of God. It is a kids birthday party. So what if she is late? Open the door. I think Lisa is a moron, Dwight is a douche, and I am making a decision right now to no longer blog this show as it has lost its appeal, which is a shame. They have ruined it and now it is just like RHOA. Class and intelligence is gone, and we are in the gutter.

Mariah is finally allowed in and Simone takes her aside to tell her she is not invited on the couple’s trip. Simone needs to tell whoever is scripting this to back off and not make her do the dirty work. Simone is too classy for these games. She is digging a hole and I've lost respect for her. Heavenly craps on Mariah while Simone looks on with a smile. Mariah stays calm, mostly because she is in shock, then Lisa comes over to slow the conversation down. Heavenly wants to push Mariah more and Mariah and Aydin are not into it. Mariah shuts it down but gets in the last word. Bravo.

Heavenly is hell bent on ruining the party, then Ms. Lucy pipes in about spirits and Jesus and I am done. Mariah needs to not being her mom to anything. Want her on the sow? Talk to her in a scene in your kitchen, but keep her away from the other women. Heavenly starts up with Mariah again. Heavenly needs to shut the hell up. The show ends with Simone makings it clear Mariah can’t go on the trip, and everyone else denying they chose Quad of Mariah. I might watch Quad’s husband call her out next week, but my blogging is done. I’m not wasting my time on a show that refuses to keep it real.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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