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Jewish Journal

Married to Medicine is Confused

by Ilana Angel

June 8, 2014 | 8:20 pm

I don’t get this show. It keeps tying to change the look and feel, but we are too far into the season to still be searching. They start off jumping from woman to woman, trying to capture the vibe of Mob Wives, which fails. The women are so hateful of each other they're trying to piece together a show that does not exist. Including kids is lame. Except for Alaura, who should have her own show, not be here with mom.

We are with Dr. Jackie and Dr. Simone. They go from medical speak to Simone having no sex in 10 seconds. Really? The transition is stupid. Have scenes about medicine, then have scenes about sex. Mixing them up makes the show stupid. Actually, it makes Simone look silly and she is not. She is planning a romantic night with her husband, but doesn't want to factor in sex. Simone needs help, but not from Jackie.

Jumping to Quad, she is meeting potential investors in her dog clothing company. For the love of God. This is ridiculous. The clothes are ugly, even for a dog. That she thinks this is her million dollar idea shows us exactly how dumb she is. “Picture Perfect Pups” is embarrassing. I love animals but come on. This is an unrealistic dream and proves how delusional Quad is. I am laughing at her and I used to laugh with her.

The men wanting to fund this project are only doing it to be on TV and I'd be surprised if it was their money being donated. She asks for 30K and they come back with 25K. She insists on her full ask. Come on. This is complete crap. They agree to 15K up front and 15K when she proves the event is all she says it will be. I call bullshit. We are now jumping to Toya and I am skipping over her because she is an idiot.

Time for Lisa Nicole and Dwight to talk about her line of clothes becoming a fashion empire. Oh. My. God. I can’t. Cynthia is there to help pick models, yet none of the models are from the Bailey Agency? Is Cynthia hard up for money? Is she getting canned from RHOA and trying to keep her face in the game? Lisa speaks too slow, Dwight speaks too much, and I am skipping over this too. This is a waste of time.

We are 27 minutes in and haven't had Mariah time. I’m bored and the truth of the matter is whether you love her or hate her, Mariah is good TV and pulls this show together. If they can’t get along with her then dump their asses and get some fresh bitches. This show does not work without Mariah front and center. I know it, you know it, and Bravo knows it, so someone better do something about it already.

I caught the first minute of Toya saying she lost a 50K deposit on her house. I went back to look and am again calling bullshit. She lost 50K because she didn’t want to give another 10K? If you're already losing that much money, wouldn’t you take an additional risk to save it? There is something not kosher about this deal. I’m not a real estate agent, or lawyer, but I know a liar when I see one and Toya is lying.

Simone is at the golf course, planning her romantic night with her husband Cecile. I love this couple and want them to fix what is broken. I hope Cecile gets it on with his wife. A couple shots of vodka and Simone will make it happen. They are shoving more Toya down my throat and I'm skipping it but as I speed over her I'm laughing at how close to the steering wheel she has her chair. Toya is ridiculous.

Time for Quad. Her husband calls her dogs dogs, and she loses her mind. She demands respect for her pups. They're her kids and she wants them referred to as babies, not dogs. Her husband Gregory is pissed off.  Why would you want this on TV? He is offended, as a Doctor, that she is focusing on dogs when there are people suffering and struggling. Quad has sold herself to him as something she is not.

Quad is mad, Gregory is confused, and I wonder how it is he knew nothing of her plans this whole time. She is explaining it to him like he is clueless. Maybe the lack of communication, partnered with the fact his wife is a fraud, is too much for Gregory. Poor thing. Over to Simone, Dr. Jackie takes Cecile to his surprise and then the boys for the night. The sight of dinner on the golf course made me cry. Damn it Simone.

Simone thanks Cecile for his support and it is sweet. There is no I love you. Over at Jackie’s she is babysitting their two sons. It is scripted, but funny. Michael, the younger son, is hungry and Jackie offers him candy. Candy called “Benadryl”. Hilarious.  We’ve all offered our kids that candy at some point. She serves them popcorn and pickles for dinner. Jackie really is quite a physically beautiful woman.

Cecile tells Simone he doesn’t need lingerie to reboot their marriage, just her. It is sweet and Simone seems to be hearing him, which is nice. Next week we will get some Mariah, but once again she is defending herself. This show is lame. We will get a minute of Mariah because it is the couple’s weekend. I hang on in the hope of getting truth but when it comes to Married to Medicine they’re not keeping it real.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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