Tonight's typo's are brought to you by Mr. Pinot Grigio.
I love this show and some of the women on it, but the second part of the reunion left me with more questions than answers. This show has changed a lot and not for the better. They must regroup and remember why we watched in the beginning because I’m not interested in what it has become. Time to focus on the ladies and throw out the garbage. By garbage of course I mean Lisa and Toya. I would give Heavenly another season to come into herself, but those two bitches have got to go.
We pick up with Toya and Simone crying because Toya tried to take a swing at the good doctor. Toya is an idiot, an embarrassment to women, and brings nothing to this show other than give us all a headache. They're back with Andy and Simone is saying Toya went to hit her, but Toya says she was going in to hug her, not hit her. Really? She was yelling and screaming and charged her to give her a hug? Toya is really stupid and the smart ladies are dumbing down to deal with her.
Only three husbands join the reunion and it isn’t even the interesting ones. We spent all season watching Simone deal with her marriage problems, dealing with Jackie trying to convince her husband to have a baby, and Heavenly and her Daddy/husband trying to explian how they roll, but none of their husbands are there. We are left with Quad’s husband, who is wearing a rainbow tie as an homage to his gay self, Toya’s husband who is invisible, and Lisa’s husband who is a douche.
Sidebar: What is with the lighting? The women look like drag queens. The amount of makeup is gross. The husbands say they’re not embarrassed by their wives. Really? Their wives are trashy and humiliating not only themselves, but their husbands. Jackie says she still wants a baby but her husband doesn't. It is sad. Toya talks about losing 50K with a laugh and it is not funny. Toya is a liar and a moron. She thinks people are jealous of her. Bless her heart. She is very dumb.
Over to Paula Abdul, Andy asks why she stayed with her husband when he cheated so much. He is a prolific cheater and it is laughable Paula thinks she empowers women. The father of her children cheated on her countless times, she got pregnant, he agreed to marry for the baby, kept cheating, and she forgave him. She is a dumbass, bad example for women, and ultimately an idiot who married for money and put the need to prove she could land him above her own self worth.
As they talk about cheating, Simone breaks down and leaves the table saying she needs a break. Her husband is not there, they are talking about cheating, she went months without sex with her husband, and it is not a stretch to think perhaps there is infidelity in her marriage, though she denies ir. None of our business, but that is the down side of reality TV. People will always assume the worse and not embrace the best. Important to note the editing of this reunion is really bad.
Simone rejoins and Toya starts on some tangent about being a mother. Toya makes no sense. Simone and Toya are talking at the same time, Heavenly talks over them as does Quad. Something is going on with Simone and people are done. Does Bravo not see that a lot of these issues go away when they fire Toya? Now Andy wants to talk about their sex lives. Dear Lord. Do we need to have an entire section of the reunion just about their sex, or lack of it as it were?
Andy asks Paula Abdul’s husband if no sex is a license to cheat and before answering he looks to her for approval. He is cheating. but denies it saying he has not cheated since they married. I don’t believe him. They also say they have sex whenever the other wants it. Even if she is not interested, he can take her against her will like a “bandit in the night”. Does Paula teach women how to let men take them against their will in her empowerment classes? She is bad for women.
Time to talk about Mariah, who is saying Paula is boring. Paula goes off about Mariah not owning what she does, which is why people don’t like her. Paula says she is all the things Mariah wishes she was. Mariah is pretty, smart, married to a mensch, and a success. Lisa is mentally challenged, married to a prolific cheater, and looks lke Paula Abdul twenty years ago, so who is jealous of who? Lisa is desperately trying to find her place but it is too late. She has no place here.
Lisa says she empowers women and I am laughing at her. She charges hundreds of dollars for women who are dumber than her to sit in a room and have smoke blown up their ass. You know those infomercials in the middle of the night that say you can invest $250 and become a real estate tycoon? That is what Lisa does with her empowerment seminars. She is an idiot. Meanwhile Heavenly is carting around her Crown Royale in a coffee mug and it is hilarious. I’d be drinking too.
Time to talk about Mariah and her friendships. In the end Mariah handles herself beautifully. She is guarded and not particularly talkative, but that is a good thing. She is not going to undo an entire season at the reunion, so why bother? Mariah is classy, sassy, and fun. Think what you want of this woman, but know that she is the Queen Bee when it comes to this group. I know it, you know it, and in the end these other ladies know it too. They need to accept that and move on.
I’m not saying Mariah handled everything correctly, because she didn’t. There were mistakes made by all, but ultimately this show is built around Mariah and that is just the truth. I truly believe if they get rid of Paula Abdul and Toya this show can get back on track. They show a montage about how close the women are and their friendships matter but there is not one minute of Mariah. I think that is really sad and frankly disrespectful to the woman who brought them all together.
Everyone is so focused on establishing there is no Queen, they lost sight of what is important, which is that Mariah matters in this mix. Mariah says she misses Quad, and Quad is surprised and starts to cry. It is sad this friendship broke, but it can be repaired. It will not be as it was, but can certainly be fixed enough to give us a good season three. Quad and Mariah are tired of the fighting and we are left with the hope that maybe they can get things back on track one day.
In the end these women bit off more than they could chew, and had no idea what it meant to be on reality TV. The first season was awesome, but the fame changed them. I‘m not mad though. They had growing pains and one can only hope they watched this season and figured out what went wrong so they can fix it. I am Team Mariah and I believe in this show. If they come back for a third season so will I. Losing Toya and Lisa will ensure they have a shot at keeping it real.
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