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Married to Medicine Gets Drunk

by Ilana Angel

May 14, 2013 | 6:18 pm

These chicks have been classy, sophisticated, immature, and trashy.  They are great television and with only two episodes left, they are scrambling to end on a good note.  Not going to happen.  We have seen too much to believe they are as together as they want us to think they are.  I love this show, but when they come back for season two some of these bitches need to be gone. Everyone will have their own list of people to get fired, and Toya is on the top of mine.  This woman is a pig and should not be invited back. 

We start with Dr. Jackie talking to one of her employees about the epic fail of the lemon squeeze.  It is scripted and makes no sense to me.  She is not having this conversation with an employee.  That goes against everything she wants us to think about her.  In the end she is a high school mean girl, like everyone else.  Cute though that she wants us to think she is so much more mature and appropriate than the others.  I like Dr. Jackie but she is a poser and needs to focus on being a little less rigid, and a little more real.

At Dr. Simone’s house, Cecil’s bar is finished and it looks beautiful.  Toya and her husband come by for a drink.  Meanwhile at Kari’s, Duncan has forgotten his key and knocks on the door.  Kari is teaching her kids about poverty and it is a transparent and silly attempt by Kari to get us to think she is not a snob.  Does not work.  It is pretentious and fake.  Duncan walks in, his kids are excited to see him, but he waltzes right past them without a word, and summons Kari into the kitchen to talk to him.  Strange family dynamic.

We bounce back to Simone’s house and it is all about bashing Mariah. Fascinating that thee people seem to forget she created this show and brought them in.  Not too bright really to bash the boss, but whatever.  Toya insists she has no malicious intent when it came to Mariah.  Bullshit.  Toya’s husband Eugene is unaware of what a bitch his wife is, and we see the real breakout star of Married to Medicine is Simone’s husband, Cecil.  This man is divine.  He is the voice of reason and I am totally crushing on him.

Back to Kari’s, I am bored.  Everyone has a lot to say about Mariah, but never to her face.  They prefer to gossip and it shows that women are really not very kind to each other.  No matter how old we get, we are wired to be mean to each other.  Sad.  Kari does not want Mariah to go to the wine tour. Did I forget to mention that? These women, who cannot stand each other, and had a physical confrontation, are all going on a bus together to drink wine.  Dear Lord.  Cecil will host the husbands for a drink when they go.

Quad is out for drinks with her college girlfriends who were in her wedding party.  They are drinking Patron shots and Mariah joins them.  They go to RHOA flop stop Bar One.  They are the only ones there. I am loving me some Quad.  She came in with a bang and she is leaving with a boom.  I. Love. Her. Not sure what the purpose of this scene was as we learned nothing.  It seems to me that this show lost its way and needs to get on track because this is not exactly what we wanted, or what we were told we were getting.

This was supposed to be a reality show that focused on the intelligence of women and show African Americans in a way we don’t always see.  Instead it got real trashy, real fast.  It’s about women so that is to be expected on some level, but this show can and should be more.  They need to come back for season two with the trash gone and the ladies shining in the way they should.  By trash of course I mean the hideous and pathetic Toya.

It is Duncan’s 20th anniversary of his practice and Kari is going to mark the occasion by getting professional pictures done. Really? This girl is so fabulous on the phone and just a pretentious mess on the show.  Such a shame. She invites Mariah over to talk to her during her photo shoot.  Really? The scripting of the friendships is exactly like the real housewives crap fest.  We came here for something different, so it is a drag.

Mariah is hurt Kari never checked on her after the fight, and Kari is mad Mariah never called her to apologize for fighting in her home. They apologize to each other and what was a war flickers out in an instant.  Not buying it. We are off to the wine tasting bus tour.  Toya has a taser.  Toya is a liar, a skank, a fame whore, and an idiot.  If they bring her back next year I won’t watch.  She sucks the joy out of this show is a big way.  She brings invites to a party, but not for everyone.  Really?  Can’t afford stamps?

They are in the bus and heading out for wine.  Jackie starts the trip with a prayer, which I love.  It begs the question:  on a show about medicine, why is there no Jew? Jews and medicine go together like wine and reality television.  My suggestion would be to replace Trashy Toya with a nice Jewish doctor, or a fabulous Jewish broad that is married to a doctor.  If you are going to keep it real Married to Medicine, you need a Jew.  By Jew of course I mean try to get a normal one.  Reality Jews are always crazy.

Dr. Simone is fantastic and packing vodka in her purse.  I love her.  Sidebar: can anyone explain the makeup on these chicks?  The eye shadow is killing me. Kari wants to go around and have everyone share something nice about everyone.  Oh. My. God.  How old are we?  It is ridiculous and there is a whole lot of ass kissing and dagger throwing going on.  They have arrived at their destination and wine is about to be poured, which means that whining is coming too.  Wine and whining is not cute, but good television.

Simone takes Mariah out for a minute alone.  Simone knows Mariah is upset and wants to fix it.  I think Simone should have done this earlier, but good for her that she was able to do it now.  These are good people and when they behave with decency and kindness to each other it is more compelling than when they fight.   Compelling may not be what reality television is aiming for, but they should embrace it because it is what we want.   There is always going to be crazy, but it’s the normal that we all crave and love most.

Quad now takes Jackie off for a minute alone.  I really like Quad and Jackie. Jackie is a bit too wound up, and Quad is a little loose, but they are sweet and Quad telling Jackie that the lemon squeeze was not a waste of time was really sweet.  They are both beautiful and when Jackie laughs she is gorgeous. I think the saddest thing about Jackie is that she always seems sad, so to see her laughing is very touching.  Quad made a lovely gesture and the women are now all together and getting their drink on.

Toya says she wanted the day to be a new start for the ladies.  Is she high? Toya is a gutter pig that seems to forget she is a disgusting skank.  Back in Atlanta, the men are arriving to "Cecil’s Bar" for a drink.  Aydin, Mariah’s husband, is lovely and a real gentleman.  Duncan apologizes immediately and I respect him for it.  Cecil mediates it all and gets the men to a good place, although they were never really at a bad place, as much as an uncomfortable place.  Everyone apologizes except for Toya’s husband.  Asswipe.

He wants to make sure they are okay, and Aydin is moving on.  There is no apology from Toya’s husband, and there should have been.  Not necessarily for his wife, but for the situation.  Aydin is the winner here.  He was classy and appropriate and it was nice of him to even go.  Duncan was all class, Cecil was perfection, and Toya’s husband was a douche.  What is his name?  I can’t remember and don’t really care.  Back on the bus, the ladies are hammered and it is going to get good.  By good of course I mean trashy.

Toya wants to know what she ever did to Mariah, and drunky Ms. Mariah is all for talking about it.  She tells Toya how she hurt her family. Mariah tells her that she needs to acknowledge what she did.  She is clearly heartbroken and I feel for her and her daughter.  With the men, Toya’s husband is defending Toya talking about Lauren and it is insane.  These two are perfect for each other.  They are both ignorant, stupid, and whoring themselves out to TV to pay for a house they cannot afford.  Bravo needs to fire their asses.

Toya takes ownership of her talking about Lauren, but denies her doing it to cause harm.  Why do it if not to hurt? Mariah accepts the apology.  Big mistake.  Toya is evil and this is not going to end well.  They hug it out and I feel bad for Mariah, and angry with Toya.  Next week there are going to be a lot of bodies thrown under the bus for the finale.  How they end will be interesting, but how they come back will be fascinating. I love this show, love these women, and really hope Bravo allows them to come back, and keep it real.

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