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Married to Medicine Finale Recap

by Ilana Angel

July 6, 2014 | 8:35 pm

Tonight’s typos are being generously sponsored by Jose Cuervo.

Well the night we thought would never get here, has finally arrived. It is finale night for Married to Medicine and I am ready. It has been a very strange season. We have seen the chemistry between these women fizzle out, along with their friendships. We were forced to spend time with Toya, who it turns out is almost watchable compared to the idiotic and painful to endure Lisa Nicole. Heavenly is a trip, but harmless. This show was built because of Mariah, and around Mariah, so if they don’t take us back to that time, I won’t watch season three. Sad, but true.

We start with Simone and Jackie making fun of Quad and her stupid dog clothes. Ugh. I went to the website today and I laughed and laughed. The clothes are ugly, the website looks like it was a 5th grade computer project, and if she is selling anything I will be surprised. Cut to Heavenly, she is visiting Toya at her new house. This house makes no sense. She lost 50K on her last house because she couldn’t get a loan, so how is she getting a loan on a house double the cost? Toya is lying and Heavenly is all over it. Toya will be in divorce court before she closes on this house.

Toya is celebrating her new home by going on vacation. She will miss Mariah’s party, as well as the puppy couture party of Quad’s. Happy for us we don’t have to see her there. Jumping to Quad, she is looking at her hideous dog samples when Lisa comes over to visit. Lisa is truly a stupid slag and her message of empowering women as a crock of bullshit. Know it. Quad is excited about her “fashion show” and thankful to Lisa for her guidance. Oy Vey. Quad is talking about Simone telling her she is holding her hostage in terms of Mariah.

I am no longer a fan off Quad, but her impersonation of Heavenly is killer. Bravo. Mariah is telling everyone she invited Quad to her event, but Quad is insisting she was never invited. Someone is lying, but sadly I don’t really care who. These women are sucking the joy out of this show and need to pull it together before we all bail on their sorry asses. Cut to Quad with Simone to go on birth control, and call her out for walking away from her when they were discussing Mariah. Quad wants to clear the air, which I get, but this scripted crap is a waste of our time. 

Simone is backpedaling. She was the one to suggest the two camps separate and they keep Mariah out of the group. That is just a fact. Good for Quad pointing that out. They move on, without resolving anything, and go onto birth control. Quad cries about how having a baby will get in the way of her dog clothes. Oy vey. This show has lost speed. Right about the time Mariah went AWOL. No coincidence there. Speaking of Mariah, she is getting ready for her event. She has invited “everyone” and if they don’t come she says the friendships will be over. 

Quad is now at her event, and her investors come by to check on her progress. Reco is there, with nothing to say because he’s a fool, and they are not writing the check. Quad assures them they will be ready and the “fashion show” will be perfect. Blah, blah, blah. They leave, she panics, I’m bored. Time for Mariah’s event. There is a lot of fur at her party. There is a lot of fur in Atlanta in general. Makes me sad. Heavenly and Simone have come out to support Mariah. Good for them. I mean assuming they are really there support her, good for them.

Simone hugs Mama Lucy, but Lucy is disappointed in her. Simone has an attitude and it is not cute. Mariah arrives and I don’t understand why she is wearing a black bra with a backless dress. Heavenly and Lucy are a trip and listening to them talk about each other is hilarious. Simone is talking about Quad winning the popular vote and if Mariah cannot make up with her, she will no longer be a part of the group. Really? Isn’t this Mariah’s group? Didn’t Mariah create this show and help gather the cast? Something is not kosher here and it is not just the food. 

Mariah is talking about Quad and it is sad. They were not only tight, but the best thing about this show, so to see them fighting like this is sad. Heavenly and Simone didn't go to support Mariah, but rather to push her to say sorry to Quad. Really? This show is disrespecting fans by showing this garbage. In the end Quad and Mariah should make up, then fire all the others and start over with them and some new people. This is women behaving badly on a whole other level. I am embarrassed for them and for myself that I watch it.

It is time for the doggie fashion show. The green carpet is cute. Cuter than the dog clothes truth be told. Dr. Heavenly arrives with her coffee mug full of scotch. The woman is a lush. The fashion show is actually adorable. The dogs are cute, Quad is proud. Even Heavenly was funny as she strutted down the runway with a pole stuck up her ass. Good for Quad that she made her dream come true. Shame the clothe are so impractical and ugly, but good for her. Her husband didn’t know what to think. Bless him. In the end these dog clothes are silly.

And so it ends with the ladies proclaiming their love and support of each other, and Mariah nowhere in sight. Heavenly thinks she is there to be a guide. Simone is blowing smoke up everyone’s ass about their friendships. Jackie says the group does not need a Queen. Quad also says no Queen is needed. Translation: Quad wants to be Queen. The show ends with the implication that Mariah is out. They then show scenes from the reunion and Mariah is not next to Andy, which is telling. The reunion looks rough, which we expect.

I love this show. Love watching the doctors at work, love seeing the wives with their husbands, and though the concept of following these medical lives is fun, in the end that is not the show we are watching. Mariah is great TV and without her this shows doesn't work. I believe Quad got caught up in fame and lost her mind, but even if she says sorry and kisses Mariah I will not forgive her even if Mariah does. Heavenly is a joke, and a drunk, and she should go. Toya brings nothing and simply must go. I feel sorry for her husband.

Jackie needs to focus on what she has, not what she lacks. Lisa needs to go back the land of the trolls. Simone needs to have a reality check. I have liked this woman from the first episode. I reached out to her, followed her on social media, interviewed her, and loved that she could take what I wrote in my blog because she was smart and secure and knew it wasn’t personal. In the end she has blocked me on social media and ultimately shown her true colors, which is a shame. I was always in her corner. It’s just a show Simone, so get over yourself.

I watch and simply writing about what I see. I have spoken to several of the ladies and they seem lovely, but totally unable to handle fame. Time to grow up. The only one who has been the same on camera as she has been off, and the only one who is honest, able to take the blows, and aware of the importance of her fans, is Mariah. The people who produce this show need to take a step back and realize that with no Mariah there is no show. It’s not birthing babies people. It’s reality television and I’m just keeping It real.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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