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Married to Medicine Finale Recap

by Ilana Angel

May 20, 2013 | 8:46 am

This season went by quickly for the viewer, but probably dragged out for these women.  We have seen classy, trashy, inspiring, funny, scary, crazy, and unbelievable.  They have invited us into their lives and although it was not necessarily what we thought it would be, it has always been entertaining. I will be sad to see them go, hope they come back, and am looking as forward to their reunion as I am to the start of Real Housewives of New Jersey.

It is a two hour show and one would think that is a big deal but it is just two episodes shown one after the other and if you were waiting for some big finale blow up, it is not coming.  They are leaving with a whimper, but that is okay.  After all we have seen, some of them are probably happy to slink away quietly.  I’m guessing no real closure comes tonight but I am still invested, still interested, and have enough wine to get through.

We start with Quad and her husband Gregory having dinner.  They are really cute together and I like them much more at the end than I did in the beginning.  He is ready for a baby, she is happy with her dog kids for now, and they are funny.  I like this couple and would like to see more of them next season.  She is going to get pregnant and milk it for all it is worth. Watching Quad have a baby is going to be seriously great television.

Mariah and Aydin have decided they need to talk to Lauren about the fact that she is adopted.  It is crushing and having spoken to Mariah about this on the phone, it was devastating to her.  Aydin and Mariah had a plan of how to explain to their child that she is not Aydin’s biological daughter and for Toya to have stepped in, causing them to change their parenting plan, is something I do not understand.  It goes beyond being a mean girl.

Toya is having her family over a visit.  Her mom, mother-in-law, and other assorted family members.  Toya is a poser and I am sick of her.  She should not be invited back to next season.  She is a selfish, mean, ungrateful, moronic, fame whore.  Her mother touches on what a unruly child Toya was, and instead of being proud of what she has overcome, she decides to bash the entire city of Detroit by saying if you live there, you will get shot at.

I think the main problem I have with Toya is that she is ignorant.  She does not think about what she says, just blurts out idiotic things.  Someone gave her the expression “malicious intent” and she has said it 100 times in reference to talking about Lauren and I spend half my time screaming at the television when she talks, and the other half laughing at what a complete ass she is.  It must be hard to go through life when you are that stupid.

Toya is planning the launch party for her husband’s new business and decides that she will not invite Mariah and Quad to the party.  It was not a good idea and she should have included them.  Don’t say you want to move on if you are not willing to move on.   Toya is a snake.  We leave the gutter and head to Dr. Simone’s house. She is talking to her fabulous husband Cecil.  Important to note I have a crush on him and think he is the best of the men.

We jump to Mariah who is out walking with her mom, and tells her they spoke with Lauren about her adoption.  To hear Mariah speak about the situation with Lauren, there is a change in her voice.  She sounds sad and that is heartbreaking.  I think everyone has made light of this situation when it is a serious breach of trust, and a disgusting choice by Toya.  Toya is a bitch and needs to be put in her place, but Momma is a little out of control.

Simone has kicked Cecil’s nephew out of their house.  It is a sweet and funny scene.  Simone wants her house back and the kid gets the boot.  She is super cute and I love her.  If you don’t follow her and Cecil on Twitter, you should. They have a great banter back and forth, are always funny and kind with their fans, and are exactly the same off the show, as they are on.  That cannot be said for some of the other cast members.  These people actually seem normal.

Dr. Jackie is launching a website at the same time she is launching her medical spa.  It is all about the vagina.  How the vag works, what makes it sick, what makes it better, what makes it feel good, and what makes it happy.  Dear Lord.  The classy Dr. Jackie has gone all Kandi on us.  Simone’s reaction is hilarious.  Quad is there to give her two cents and I feel bad for Jackie’s husband sitting there are they discuss the vagina.  Bless him.

It is Jackie’s medical spa opening and she describes it saying she hopes it is infectious.  That cracked me up.  I don’t think infectious is a word to be used when discussing a vagina or spa services.  Kari is talking about the spa and bashes Mariah and Quad.  Toya is there and says that Mariah and Quad were not invited to her party, which is happening the same day.  Couldn’t they have picked different nights to have their parties? That is weird.

Toya bails to get ready for her party as Quad and Mariah arrive.   Kari is acting strange with Mariah, but wants to have a conversation with her sister Lake.  Who cares?  If she was so worried about Lake she could have called her.  Kari is starting to cross lines and it is not cute.  Kari then unceremoniously lets Mariah and Quad know they were not invited to Toya’s party.  Not nice, very immature, and a serious ugly, mean girl move.

Kari and Duncan arrive and they are getting less cute each time we see them. Duncan and Kari are looking to get in on the new business and it is all just strange.  The teams have now been formed.  We have Simon and Jackie in one corner, Kari and Toya in one corner, Quad and Mariah in one corner, and the fans in another corner.  Just when I think they can salvage the situation and all come back together, Toya and Kari go to anther level.

Kari tells Toya that she thinks Mariah has a mental illness, and Toya concurs. These two bitches went on camera and said this woman has a mental illness. When did Kari and Toya become doctors?  It is hurtful, mean spirited, ugly, and in the end ridiculous.  All their little games prove is that they are the ones who are paranoid and not well.  I am mortified by this turn, and in my opinion, it is unforgivable, goes beyond reality TV madness, and makes me angry.

Am I missing something?  Am I drinking so much while watching that I am forgetting parts of the story?  Toya tells people that Lauren is adopted, Mariah reacts to it, and now Mariah has a mental disorder?  Kari wants us to think she is above all the drama and too sophisticated to behave badly, yet she is the one behaving like an animal.  Mariah created this show and they are essentially shitting all over her.  How is this even possible?

Jackie and Simone are meeting with Mariah and the camera goes back and forth between the doctors telling Mariah to move on, and the bitches saying Mariah needs to be medicated.  It is brilliant reality television, but very sad in terms of how women treat each other.  Cut to Mariah now talking to Aydin, and they decide she will invite all the women over for dinner to make peace. She will make an Indian feast and calls to invite them all over.

Mariah is trying and regardless of what the motives are, she is trying.  Kari is a bitch, and Toya is only going to support Kari.  No good can come of this dinner.  Quad is visiting with Jackie and I like them together.  Quad is fun, and Jackie needs a little more fun, so they can be good together.  God Bless Jackie who is still trying to pull this group together. She is either painfully naïve or simply pure of heart.   This group will never all get along.

Kari is out for tea with Toya and it is all so sad.  Kari is on the outs with everyone and the only hope she has to get camera time is with Toya, so she has attached herself to the devil.   Kari is having the 20th anniversary party for Duncan’s business and has decided to not invite Mariah or Quad.  This storyline is now getting stupid and we all know you cannot fight with stupid. Kari and Toya are showing exactly how stupid they are, and it is hilarious.

Time for Kari’s party for Duncan and she is so busy she forgot to brush the back of her hair.  Shame.  Kari, who did not invite Mariah and Quad because it was “business”, takes time out the party to present her husband with a trip to Europe, and pretentiously shows everyone at the party a slideshow of the trip.  Really?  I wonder how it is possible that Kari does not understand she rubs us the wrong way when she behaves like this.  She is horrible.

Kari is trying to push Jackie into moving her practice to the medical building she owns with Duncan, and my advice to Simone would be run.  Very, very fast. Kari sent an email to Mariah and Quad telling them they are not invited to party because it is business.  Mariah and Quad are talking about Kari, Kari is talking about Mariah with Jackie and Simone, and I am exhausted.  This show is not interesting with all the garbage being slung.

Quad is now meeting Toya for lunch.  Dear Lord.  This is just too much.  Toya is still talking about Eugene calling off his wedding to Quad, which happened 5 months ago, and did not stick because they are married.  Toya says she is not still talking about it, Quad proves she is, Toya tells her she is wrong, Quad tells her she is shady, then Quad drops a bomb, saying Toya was arrested for driving drunk, with her baby in the car.  Oh. My. God.

Quad is sticking to the story of Toya being a drunk, Toya denies it, and I don’t believe any of it.  Did these women not think all this crap would come out on television?  We have seen Quad’s mug shot, but not a police record for Toya, but the fact is, who cares?  We don’t care ladies!  We wanted to peek into your lives of privilege, not get dragged through the gutter.   We have the real housewivews for that. This show has gone off the rails and  they can't pull it all back.

Sidebar:  Kari and Toya were on WWHL after the finale and want us to believe they did not plan to have matching outfits.  Really?  They did not ask each other what are you wearing?  The lies continue.  Important to note that while on set waiting to go live with Andy, Kari started to message me unclear why everyone was being to hateful to her on social media.  Really Kari?  You did no favors for yourself when you sided with the devil.

Sidebar: I like Kari.  I like Mariah.  I have spoken to both of them on the phone and I feel bad for them that the show has taken such an ugly turn.  I will say however that Mariah is exactly the same on the phone as she is on the show, while Kari is very different.  We are not seeing true colors because that is impossible on reality television.  That said, I am more inclined to believe what Mariah is saying, which is my personal view as a fan.

Taking the plunge into reality television is a risky business. You are going to get eaten alive by those who don't like you, and inflated to the moon by those who do. The blogosphere is not a forgiving place and if you rub people the wrong way, it will follow you. I think Kari is a lovely woman and for whatever reason she is not coming across that way. My advice to her would be to cut her loses and leave the show because she cannot recover from the opinions that have been formed.

The same could actually be said for all of them.  They all have fans and they all have haters. What is done is done and so the focus needs to be on how they move forward.  Sending messages to a blogger throwing your costars under the bus is probably not the way to go.  If you want people to think you are a lady, act like one.  I don't pretend to know these people, and I simply watch like everyone else, but if it looks like a duck, and it talks like a duck, it is probably a duck.

Cut to Mariah’s big night.  She is preparing a full on Bangladeshian feast for all the ladies.  Toya and Kari cancel.  Shitty.  The girls all have native dress and the meal is one I wish I had been invited to.  I feel sad for Mariah.  She is trying and they are not willing to meet her halfway.  Turns out while Mariah’s dinner is going on, Kari is over at Toya’s house.  Toya is telling Kari about Quad’s accusation of her being a drunk driver.  Oy vey.

Kari gets on her high horse and talks about the backstabbing of Quad. Really?  Kari is the one who is always talking smack, always trying to bring people down, and always the one to gossip.  Cut to Kari, in the very next breath, gossiping about Quad and Mariah.  It is ugly.  These women are behaving badly and they should all be mortified by what is going on.  I am still on Team Mariah.  These bitches need a kick in the ass.

We are about to wrap up two hours and the entire show has been watching them gossip to each other in groups, never all together.  It is a pingpong match and I am exhausted. I honestly cannot listen to it anymore.  It is stupid.  Mariah is talking about how she is done, while Kari and Toya are pulling up Quad’s mug shot.  It is embarrassing.  These chicks need a reality check because they have clearly lost their minds.  Seriously.

Jackie and Simone have risen to the top.  They are not perfect, but bless them as they are decent and inherently kind.  Mariah and Quad come out winners to me, and Kari and Toya are the losers.  They are so unappealing that they don’t even belong on reality TV, and we will watch anything!  Toya and Kari need to be let go and we need to get a new wife and a Jewish doctor to come on board. Having a medical show without a Jew makes no sense.

Then, just like that, it is over.  No update of what is happening now and who it talking to who, just an ending with some dramatic music.  I cannot wait for the reunion and truly hope these women come clean and we get some answers.  I will be back for the reunion and the fact is I will be back for season two.  We all will.  All we ask is that Bravo seriously consider recasting this show.  We love it, but will walk away if you can’t keep it real.

http://www.jewishjournal.com/keepingitreal

https://twitter.com/realilanaangel

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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