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Jewish Journal

Kardashian, Rimes, Cougar Wives & American Idol

by Ilana Angel

January 17, 2013 | 11:18 am

This cannot be real!

It has been an interesting week in the world of reality television.  I am constantly fascinated by the people who have found their 15 minutes of fame, and intrigued by those who have managed to create careers and fortunes without any sign of talent.  God Bless America.  Where else can you become a multi-millionaire for making a sex tape and being an idiot?

Kim Kardashian is a genius.  An idiotic genius.  She made a sex tape where she laid there and did nothing but chew gum, yet she is a superstar.  She is also pregnant with one man’s baby, while married to another.  I find most everything about her to be annoying. This week however, she became offensive to me as she lied her way through multiple TV appearances.

We all watched as Khloe Kardashian went to a fertility specialist and learned getting pregnant would be a challenge.  Kim sat there and tried to make it about her, but in the end she was fine.  She wants us to think her baby was a miracle because her eggs were to be frozen and then she was blessed with a pregnancy?  Kim Kardashian is a liar and a painfully hurtful sister.

Khloe is the most popular Kardashian, has the best marriage, the most loving husband and the most high profile job.  Kim cannot stand it so she tried to take infertility from her.  What a selfish and stupid girl.  As a sister, and a woman who spent years and thousands trying to get pregnant, I think Kim Kardashian is a disgusting and shameful human being.

Speaking of shameful human beings, LeAnn Rimes was all over the place this week giving “exclusives” to ass kissing celebrity “journalists”.  Nancy O’Dell was the latest Hollywood reporter to suck up to the unfortunate looking Rimes.  There was no exclusive, as nothing was new, there was however a whole lot of crap from a pathological liar flailing out of control.

This unfortunate looking woman went on television and laughed about infidelity and suicide.  She said any smart person would know that suicide is an option.  Really?  The insensitivity of this woman is shocking and I do not understand why she is not being advised to stop talking. She is systematically digging a grave for her career and it is mesmerizing.

To laugh about being so sad you want to kill yourself is ignorant.  To talk about her Twitter war with Brandi as being one sided is laughable.  LeAnn Rimes spends a large part of every day tormenting Brandi Glanville and it would be hilarious if it were not so disturbing.  She is a pathological liar with a maniacal need to hurt the woman who she hurt so badly.

LeAnn Rimes is a spiteful human being.  She is so insecure in her marriage to a cheater that it is making her crazy.  Eddie Cibrian cheated on Brandi and it would appear cheated on LeAnn, and now LeAnn will spend the rest of her relationship with him, which will end sooner rather than later, sleeping with one eye open and trolling his cell phone while he’s in the shower.

Speaking of showering, I watched a reality show this week that made me feel so dirty I needed to shower when it was over.  Extreme Cougar Wives on TLC is a fascinating look at older women dating younger men.  It would have been more believable if the young men dating the old women were in fact not gay, but still, it was disturbing on a whole new level.

Hattie is in her 70’s and absolutely adorable.  Until she starts talking.  She likes to date young men and recently slept with an 18 year old.  So wrong. She picks up a man at the pool that is wearing a sweater made out of hair and their exchange made my eyes bleed.  Bless this woman for wanting her 15 minutes in the spotlight but come on.  This is not cute.

Jude is 53 and in a relationship with her daughter’s ex-boyfriend, who is 21. Yes, you read that right.  They have sex in his parent’s house and she leaves through the bedroom window so his mom won’t find out.  Dear Lord.  They have a marriage ceremony performed by the Church of Crazy and I cannot look away even though my eyes have fallen out and are on the floor.

Stephanie is 37 years older than her gay boyfriend Octavio. They are mortifying.  This show is creepy, and seems so fake it is probably real which is upsetting.  I am 46 years old and dating someone who is 40 would feel weird to me so I don’t understand who these people are or how this is even possible.  That said, while disgusting, they are sort of my idols.          

Speaking of idols, American Idol premiered their 12th season last night and I watched.  I’m not into this show and only pay attention when they are down to the top 10, but I was interested in the new judges and so I hunkered down for a painful two hours to see how it would play out.  I am proud of only falling asleep 3 times and that I managed to not spill my wine!

Keith Urban is charming and lovely.  I think he takes the show seriously but he said yes to some that I did not think were talented and no to others who I would have given a shot to.  Time will tell how he is as a judge, but basing my opinion on first impressions only, I liked him.  Randy Jackson is useless on this sow, as he has been for years, and should have been canned.

He needs a vocabulary overhaul.  He is not funny, not entertaining, and brings nothing here.  I truly don’t get why he is back.  By don’t get it of course I mean Mariah probably said she would sign only if he was brought back. Thanks Mariah.  We were so close to getting rid of him.  Mariah Carey is a superstar, no doubt about it, however she is also a total diva.

Mariah obviously thinks Nicki Minaj is more gimmick than talent, and they don’t like each other.  Mariah is jealous of Nicki’s youth, and Nikki thinks Mariah is a dinosaur.  They both want to be Queen Bee but neither one stands a chance because that title belongs to Ryan Seacrest.  I like Ryan, think he is brilliant on this show, but overall I could care less.

It is a sad commentary on our country when a lifeless sex star, home wrecking whore, perverted old women, gay man sleeping with old ladies, and rich people behaving badly, are what we see on television.  Between these people and Lance Armstrong admitting he is a loser, it makes me want to break my TV.  Instead I will continue to watch and keep it real.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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