March 20, 2013 | 6:05 pm

Dancing With the Stars Recap

Posted by Ilana Angel

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I get a kick out of this show.  It is mindless entertainment and a nice way to spend an evening in front of the TV.  Even though Brooke Burke-Charvet bugs the crap out of me, Tom Bergeron is perfection. This season I actually know who most of these people are, which makes it more fun to watch.  I won’t blog it weekly but did want to give my two cents on the first episode.  I will blog it again for the last show of the season.

KELLIE PICKLER:  Kellie is a country singer and American Idol alumni. I love her.  She is cute, funny, charming, and a great dancer. I think she is a superstar and should be on a sitcom and I hope she stays around until the end. She is dancing with Derek Hough.

VICTOR ORTIZ:  Victor is a boxer and while he is violent and dangerous in the ring, he is lovely and extraordinary in his real life.  In hearing about his childhood I wanted to hug him and tell him he is wonderful.  I think he will get better each week.  He is dancing with Lindsay Arnold.

INGO RADEMACHER: Ingo is an actor. I have no idea who this guy is so I don't care about his performance. If he was meant to be the heartthrob they missed the mark.  He is not sexy and does not inspire me to know more about him.  He is dancing with Kym Johnson.

LISA VANDERPUMP: Lisa is a businesswoman and a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She is hilarious and gorgeous.  She is also elegant and a pretty good dancer.  I loved her dress and really loved her dog.  She got my vote.  She is dancing with Gleb Savchenko.

D.L. HUGHLEY: D.L. is an actor and a comedian.  I don’t what it is about him exactly, but I really like him.  There is something really great about his energy and while is not a very good dancer, he is really trying and so I hope is stays for a little longer.  He is dancing with Cheryl Burke.

ZENDAYA: Who the hell is this kid and why have they partnered her with someone so old?  It looks creepy to me and I’m not into her.  She is a great dancer and will get good scores but won’t stay around long because it is also a popularity contest.  She is dancing with Val Chmerkovskiy.

SEAN LOWE: Sean is the most recent bachelor and I cannot stand him.  He is a horrible dancer and unless he starts taking his shirt off he does not have a chance.  I am offended that he is even on the show. We are sick of him already and he can go.  He is dancing with .

ALEXANDRA RAISMAN: Aly is an Olympic gymnastics champion.  I can’t comment on her because I was distracted by her chest and didn’t notice the dancing.  They put her in a horrible dress and made her boobs look odd. She’s a child not Pam Anderson.  She is dancing with Mark Ballas.

DOROTHY HAMILL: Dorothy is an Olympic skating champion.  She is iconic and sweet. I think she is beautiful and a true inspiration.  She is a wonderful dancer and she will be around for a while. Her dress was beautiful and her makeup was unfortunate. She is dancing with Tristan MacManus.

WYNONNA JUDD: Wynonna is a country singer and the Kirstie Alley of this season.  She is funny and irreverent and I hope she loses a ton of weight and enjoys every second of her experience.  She is not a good dancer but Mazel to her for doing the show. She is dancing with Tony Dovolani.

ANDY DICK: Andy is an actor.  He is also my favorite after week one.  There is something so fragile and kind about him that I felt his pain and his joy when he spoke. He will get better, be a fan favorite, and I am pulling for beyond this show.  He is dancing with Sharna Burgess.

JACOBY JONES: Jacoby is a Super Bowl champion and he is fabulous, handsome, charming, and a good dancer.  Football players always do well and I imagine he will make it to the top three, hopefully with his shirt off for many of his performances. He is dancing with Karina Smirnoff.

It is going to be a fun season and by the end of it, as in all past seasons, I will want to become a ballroom dancer. Good luck to all.  I’ll be watching, voting, mocking, and loving all of you each week. By all of you of course I mean not all of you.  Zendaya can go.  Just keeping it real.

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