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February 20, 2012 | 9:56 pm

Bethenny is Back and Nothing has Changed

Posted by Ilana Angel

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Before we get started, let me say Bethenny announcing she had a miscarriage on the day her show premieres is odd.  This woman pees in a bucket on camera and lets the world know when she has sex, but is not going to announce this while on the way to the hospital?

One other thing is that if you are taking antibiotics, take them with water.  Chances of a pill burning a hole in your esophagus are the same as burning a hole from excessive vomiting.  That can also be learned on the Internet, which is how Bethenny self-diagnosed herself.

The new season of Bethenny Ever After begins with the announcement that she has sold Skinny Girl.  It’s sucks that reality television is so far behind reality.  Hard to watch when you know how it is going to end. Bethenny is back, not looking healthy, and not looking happy.

Bethenny tells us she needs to go to celebrity school to learn how to follow the rules.  Rule number 1: don’t have your husband follow you around like a lost puppy.  Rule number 2: don’t build your empire on the bodies of people you have stepped on to get to the top.

At her sangria launch she is hanging out with Hoda and taking full responsibility for Hoda’s love life.  She runs into Shawn the event planner, who gives a better kiss to Jason than Bethenny.  We also learn that Bethenny is going to discover “paying it forward”.

Nick is at the party and I love him.  He is a terrific kid and Bethenny tries to be funny with him, but it’s not funny.  Cut the kids some slack and try to respect how respectful he is of you.  Bethenny tells us she was never interested in being in the gossip rags.  Vomit #1 for me.

Bethenny and Jason have bought a new apartment.  To hear Bethenny tell it, it’s her apartment and he will just live there with her and her baby. Think what you want about Bethenny, she makes really beautiful babies. Bryn Hoppy is a gorgeous and super sweet baby.  Nice to see Cookie too.

Bethenny brings up the lawsuits against her and bravo to her for putting it all out there.  The thing is, she is selective about what she talks about.  She can say she is being sued and it’s stressful, yet lies about being lost at sea. I imagine with so many lies she is simply confused sometimes.

Bethenny has a million people working in her apartment.  This chick needs to get an office.  If she has so much money why not get a temporary space so people can work without sitting on each other?  Why?  Because this way looks better for the fake and made up situations of her show.

There is a bunch of chit chat with her minions and I’m not listening because I need to find something to tie my hair back because I know a hurl is coming at any moment.  Important to note that I don’t care what your body looks like, short shorts and heals is not cute after 40.

Bethenny is at a photo shoot whining about how she has changed, but it’s never enough.  She is complaining about Jason and I don’t get it. She is bitching about not wanting to see her in-laws and we learn she and Jason are fighting a lot.  I actually feel bad for her.

By feel bad for her of course I mean that karma is knocking on her door and she is clearly not prepared.  I think she thought she could hold karma off for a while longer.  The weight of her decisions is starting to get heavy and her childlike body cannot handle the pressure.

Jason is sweet with the baby.  Bethenny tells us she cleans all the time and having sex is not interesting when your kid is taking a crap on the floor.  That’s a nice mention of her daughter.  Bethenny used to be edgy and funny, but now she goes for shock not laughs.

She let’s us know they are not having sex and there are cobwebs on her husbands junk.  How this man puts up with her is beyond me.  I would be mortified if this is the picture that was painted of my life at home.  Money is sexy but is public humiliation worth it?  I vote no.

Bethenny meets a friend for lunch and let’s us know she spends her weekends with Bryn and not Jason.  Exactly what kind of marriage do they have?  Bethenny is a namedropper and truly believes she is on par with a real celebrity so good for her.  Delusion can be lots of fun.

We have now gone from talking about Jason’s junk to her vagina.  Honestly, what is she thinking?  This is what she wants her child to look back on and see?  Bethenny is all about Bethenny.  She is talking a lot about how much she enjoys being alone and loves it when Jason has plans.

We learn that Jason goes to church every week, and he goes alone.  I think it’s sad that she does not share in his faith.  It’s fake therapy time and I am on vomit #3.  This doctor is a quack, and you can actually see her lying, her liking the lie, and running with the story.  Fascinating.

We learn that Bethenny forced Jason into a pre-nup of some kind that he is now not happy with it.  She talks openly about how he does not trust her, and she needs to assure him she will not screw him over.  She screws everyone else over so why would she not screw over Jason?

Bethenny is out with Lisa Lampanelli and their conversation is vulgar, not funny, hurtful to Jason, and I’m skipping over it.  By skipping over it of course I mean pouring myself a drink. These chicks are offensive and Bethenny appears to be losing her hair.

Jason calls to say he has the keys to the apartment, but when Bethenny goes to meet him she is in a different outfit, so it was on another day, which is lame.  I’d be curious to know if they both own the apartment, or just Bethenny.  LOL.  Like we don’t know the answer to that question.

It’s a beautiful apartment but it feels like Jason is the broker showing it to her, not the owner.  I think it’s sad that she wants her office in the house. Poor Jason is an afterthought.  She has managed to turn his family into a business and that is a shame for him and for their baby.

I hear that Bethenny has said this will be the last year of her reality show. By the looks of the coming attractions, it could be the last year of her marriage too.  Bethenny is an interesting egg.  She has clearly struggled, and I’m not taking anything away from her, but she is hard to watch.

She lies about everything, gets caught in her lies, then slaps gag orders on those who reveal her lies.  That’s got to be an exhausting way to live your life.  At the end of the day if Bethenny is great at anything, her gift in life is being able to live it without keeping it real.

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I agree,
I watched the show and I just walk away feeling bad for Jason.  He does not seem like an equal in this marriage.
You can have all the money in the world but you can’t buy a happy life.

Comment by joe on 2/20/12 at 11:23 pm

Doesn’t Jason get half of what she makes while being married? Didn’t she make her
Millions after she married Jason ? Haven’t heard about pre nup and why would she want one when she was so lucky about finding Jason , who really seems like a nice guy.

Comment by Doreen on 2/21/12 at 1:15 am

I was shocked at how bad her hair looked. I couldn’t watch the whole show. It was too dark, and except for the cute outfit and the cute baby, (I actually liked the shorts and heels-but I would never wear something like that ha ha), the show was unwatchable to me.
Jason looked like he needed a haircut too. He is a big part of her success, so I hope that he is at least being paid well if he was short-changed in the pre-nup.

Comment by housewifehater on 2/21/12 at 5:11 am

I thought the lunch with her friend was offensive.  They way they talked about the color of someone’s skin really pissed me off.

Comment by leighmarker on 2/21/12 at 5:28 am

What we learned from watching BEA is that she is a “one trick pony”.  All she has to offer is vulgarity served up as humor and it is no such thing.

Without talking about anything related to “sex” she actually has little to say.  Flitting from one event to another she seems more focused on “running away” from herself and is unable to stay with one thing.

Does she want to be a wife?  A mother?  A designer?  A writer?  A tv hostess?  What?  Not enough time in the day because she has stuffed it with her ego which overwhelms everything else. 

This season is all about boring the audience into a stupor.  Another session of her mocking and humiliating those around her because this is really who she is. 

Jason is nothing but a “prop” and those therapist sessions an embarassment.  Just another platform for her to “yak it up” for the camera but gaining little if any insight into herself.

Comment by Donna on 2/21/12 at 5:47 am

Ew. Bethenny’s convo with Lisa totally grossed me out. I didn’t think they could talk about that stuff on TV - not even cable. I’m all for a little girl talk, but that was TMI!

Comment by missingGia on 2/21/12 at 6:18 am

Bethenny is another “creation” of Bravo.

Hired for her “personality” rather than any actual talent, she has shown that she wears thin after awhile when all she has to offer is a slice of vulgarity that loses its appeal early on. 

Just as Jill Zarin wore thin when her true colors emerged, or Vicki Gunvalson’s neurosis became her signature approach, Bethenny has worn out her welcome. 

How far can she go when her entire persona is based on putting others down, slamming her husband and mother, and relying on her dirty mouth as her ticket to fame. 

If Lisa Lampanelli is supposed to be “amusing” than we have slipped from the bonds of humor and are free to wallow in the dirt.  Not funny.  Not entertaining.  Not even close.

Comment by Donna on 2/21/12 at 6:43 am

I really feel for Jason’s parents.

As a parent, if I had to sit back and listen to my son being discussed this way I would be appalled.  These couple appear sincere and honest and listening to her describe his genitals while at the same time denigrating him on national t.v. must hurt a great deal.

I’m sure they have had to keep their mouths shut and their opinions to themselves just for access to Bryn.

Bethenny is a shameless mediawhore and on sick puppy.

Comment by Donna on 2/21/12 at 7:44 am

she is a disgusting piece of slop..
hope jasons REAL lover makes an appearance ..lol

Comment by madamedummy on 2/21/12 at 8:04 am

I see from these comments, that I am the only one to see a positive picture here-so it is.
First I heard Jason clearly say “our money” at one point,and saw no expression change on Bs face.
Second B clearly comes across as wanting her marriage to succeed-yet I do understand the need for “alone time”-I was married(I am a widow) to the best man in the world(to me)-and still I loved being alone at times-so did He. Yes her hair may be falling out-shes acknowledged that in the past,yes she feels time is slipping by-don’t we all at times-and she seemed to me to be totally stunned at her success-(the owning of an apartment).
I believe she loves her Family-including her husband.
I see of course Bethenny is not perfect-but then again none of us is-we all have a flaw or two-and if we are blessed , we find someone who loves us in spite of it all.
Thank for reading this,
Karen

Comment by Karen Plumley on 2/21/12 at 8:29 am

I was a huge Bethenny in the beginning but now I just cant. I have to thank you for sitting through the episodes so that I can read about it after the fact. She has become so commercial and forced and you’re right, she is all about shock value and has completely turned me off. That being said, I may not watch the show but I will drink plenty of Skinny Girl Margarita because I’m somewhat of a lush smile

Comment by BlondedelayB on 2/21/12 at 9:44 am

Karen, nice that you see no harm in what Bethenny represents as a total vulgarian, focused on success even at the expense of a husband and a child who will eventually grow up and see this series as her mother inserts “sex” into every scene.

Positive?  How about Jason’s parents who must sit there and watch their only remaining son denigrated, ridiculed, mocked, and made a public punching bag by his wife? These are church going people who must be offended at the characterization of their child so that this witch can claim a foothold in fame. 

There is nothing unique or talented in Bethenny.  You can hear this kind of talk every day in a boy’s locker room when the discussion of “dicks” and their size is a daily feature. 

From a woman of 41, not so much.

Comment by Donna on 2/21/12 at 9:52 am

I can’t think of anything more unpalatable or less egregious than listening to this woman discuss our private lives on tv if I were Jason. 

Consider the outrage if the tables were turned and we had to listen to him denigrate, ridicule and hold Bethenny’s sex life up for public consumption. 

Would her devoted “braindead” fans find the same humor in his vulgarity?  Don’t think so. 

How about if he questioned females about the authenticity of their boobs?  Would that be acceptable?  Since she is so focused on the size and texture of the male apparatus, I feel it is only fair that he too get a shot to be as outrageous since after all, this is where all those “laughs” reside.

Comment by Donna on 2/21/12 at 10:21 am

I used to be a die-hard Bethenny fan, but with each season of her show, my dislike for her grew. I watched last night, but don’t think I can continue.

Comment by Over it on 2/21/12 at 2:09 pm

Bethenny does not look healthy.  She looks thin, drawn, and pale.  Her hair is sparse and dull.  She looked anything but fit and athletic for the cover shoot. 

Does Jason even have his own job any longer?  I hope so, for his own sake.

Comment by Missy on 2/21/12 at 5:31 pm

I am new to your blog and was hoping you were a Bethenny fan! I just love her, she makes me laugh. I cringe sometimes, but I am sure I have the same effect on some people. lol!

Anyway, I love your blog, Ilana!

Comment by Jennifer on 2/21/12 at 5:35 pm

I promised myself I wouldn’t watch this season and yet I was compelled like a vampire to fresh blood. So- like all of you, I too feel bad for Jason but not really because I am sure he is on the editing floor right along with B. I thought it was interesting that there were many mentions of Jason being “gay” or gay men loving him, etc.. (even mentioned by B herself) since rumors are swirling that J is a closet gay man. I feel like the show is just one longer response to rumors and twitter feeds about B. So all of sudden Lisa Lampanelli(a longtime friend of B) make a cameo appearance? Where were she last season? Is Bravo doing a cross promotion with Celebrity Apprentice? So weird.
Also, how awkward was B and Jason when they were in their apartment and celebrating afterward? I would be doing backflips and having sex with my husband on the cold hardwood floor of that apt if I owed it. Good Lord.
Oh it is going to be a long season and yes, now I am invested so I will watch. :eye roll::

Comment by rhonda on 2/21/12 at 10:19 pm

Who is this Bethany?  Are you watching a tv show?  Turn channel.

Comment by John on 2/22/12 at 4:34 am

CAN NOT STAND Bethenny—but in fairness, taking a particular antibiotic w/out water DOES burn a hole in your esophagus, happened to me and I couldn’t eat solid food for five days and it hurt like a… well you-know-what. SO painful! The very weird thing is it really only affects women.  So fair warning—always drink a lot of water w antibiotics.  She’s not lying about this one—it puts you out for days.

Comment by Jen on 2/23/12 at 11:25 am

Just a thought . . . maybe you shouldn’t waste your valuable time by reviewing this Bethenny person.  Your articles on housewives are so much more interesting.  Oh, yeah, and do one on your friend, the housewife . . what was her name . . . I’m sorry it escapes me now . . .

Comment by beeell on 2/23/12 at 1:16 pm

Hi Ilana, I just can’t watch Bethenny anymore. I’m done with her whining and tediously predictable antics. Also, I guess I won’t be watching RHoNY either. I never liked Ramona much, and from what I’ve read she is the focus. What is Andy doing? Looks like Trump is all I have left. Oh well, all TV series eventually become boring or we would still be watching new episodes of Seinfeld. But please keep up the recaps. They are quite enjoyable.

Comment by pryan on 2/25/12 at 6:10 am

Agree again! Bethenny is so annoying. I haven’t even watched her new show b/c I found her so offensive, but I enjoy reading your blogs. Does anyone now what Jason did/does for a living?

Comment by ali on 2/27/12 at 4:36 pm

I don’t feel bad for Jason.  He was dumb enough to sign up to be around her at all.  I can’t stand to watch her for two minutes.  She is vile.

Comment by Lilly on 2/27/12 at 9:11 pm

I enjoy this blog. It saves me time watching this show because the recap and analysis are far more insightful and entertaining than the actual program would be.  I think you have Bethenny Frankel’s number!

Comment by Nancy on 2/29/12 at 9:38 am

I used to be a big Bethanny fan on RHONY and I liked her through the first season of her own show. Now she is starting to wear thin, but I don’t really dislike her. When you are on national TV, all the skeletons in your closet are revealed, but we all have those we are just not on national TV. Her daughter is beautiful and I think she genuinely cares about her family around her. She just has to play it up to keep the TV Show going, I think it is wearing her down, therefore she is planning her exit from reality TV. A real accomplishment on Skinnygirl. Many of the other housewives just depend on their husband or family for money, she really made it on her own and we should be proud of her success as a women in the alchol industry.

Comment by Maria Cross on 3/01/12 at 10:38 am

I’m not taking away anything from Bethanny in regards to her determination and work eithic.  However, I sincerely hope whatever other successes come her way they are done off camera.  I just don’t believe continuing with this show is even possible on a personal level.  On an entertainment level it has run its course.  Let it go Bethanny… and say g’night.

Comment by Joan on 3/04/12 at 3:24 pm

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