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January 26, 2012 | 10:05 pm

A Conversation With Melissa Gorga

Posted by Ilana Angel

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Melissa Gorga

Anyone who watches the Real Housewives of New Jersey knows there is tension between Teresa and Melissa.  In fact, you don’t even have to watch the show to know.  Just walk though a supermarket and it is quite clear as every gossip magazine is talking about it.  These ladies sell tabloids.

I like them both.  I watch their show and I blog by episode.  One week I might love one and think the other is not cool, then the next week I do a complete flip and like the one I thought was a drag the week before.  These shows are fun for me because I don’t pretend to know these ladies.

They are characters on a television show and there is, in my opinion, very little reality involved.  It is pure entertainment and while I appreciate this is their lives, I think housewives from throughout the franchise would agree there is manipulation happening from Bravo in the name of “art”.

I write a very opinionated blog.  I have said really lovely things about reality stars and some not so nice things too.  I don’t know these people, but they have put their lives out into the universe in a big way and we are all allowed to not only have an opinion, but also judge what we see on their shows.

That’s entertainment.  You bust your butt to get your name out there, then people attack you.  Some weather the storm and some do not. I’m sure it’s harder for reality stars as there is not always talent, just an interest from viewers to watch their lives.  It’s a phenomenon.

I have been writing a series of articles I call “conversations”.  I have interviewed several reality stars including Jill Zarin, Countess LuAnn, Simon Van Kempen and Brandi Glanville.  I write from the perspective of a fan because at the end of the day that’s what I am.  A real fan.

If I am interested in talking to someone I ask if they are up for an interview.  I’ve never had anyone say no which is lovely, and it’s been a good experience for me. Talking to them about their real lives has been a highlight of the past year and I look forward to more.

I recently had the pleasure of talking to Teresa Giudice from Real Housewives of New Jersey, and there were a lot of surprising things about her.  She was down to earth, honest, open, and made it clear that there was nothing off limits and she would answer anything I wanted.

When I spoke with Teresa she was out with her youngest daughter and it was casual and fun.  We talked about cookingq and kids.  It was like talking to a girlfriend and I loved that about her.  It was not about the show, or what we read in tabloids because I don’t write for a tabloid.

When I conduct interviews I don’t talk about the show really.  I ask things I am personally interested in.  I’m writing to get a sense of who they are in real life and for the most part people have been open and fun.  I have liked them all, even when I was certain I would not.

I have blogged some really unkind things about Simon.  I was not a fan of his on the show, but when we talked on the phone I got a different view.  He was charming and funny.  He really loves his wife and kids and that is what I came away with.  I was proud of him for doing the interview.

His fans told him not to do it because I had been brutal about him on the show, but he did it anyway and when he read it, he called to thank me.  He was nervous to be sure, but he was also decent and so I was decent in return. My blog is not about hurting anyone, it’s just my opinion.

I think the Simon interview is what let the reality stars know it was a safe place to come and talk.  This was about them as people, not about who they are on television. I’m not 60 minutes and they are not nominated for an Oscar.  It’s just reality television fluff, which I happen to really love.

Now, in terms of Melissa Gorga and Teresa Giudice, I like them both.  I have written favorable things about them, and not so nice things, but again it’s all relative, and all based on the ridiculous television show they are on.  In the war of Teresa vs. Melissa, I have not picked a side.

Both sides could read my blogs and make arguments that I am nicer to one over the other, but the fact is I don’t have a side.  I have not seen anything to not like about Melissa.  I enjoy her relationship with her husband and I love how she loves Jesus and thanks him for everything.

I think Teresa is an amazing mom raising her 4 daughters, and love that she never changes her story.  She says what’s on her mind and she sticks to it. There is no waffling with Teresa and I admire that.  I like that she is so committed to her husband and kids above all else.

After my interview with Teresa posted, I got a lot of support from her fans.  They are fiercely loyal to her and it was sweet how supportive they were of her, and therefore me for being kind.  The thing is, I was not kind.  I was honest.  She was great, I wrote she was great, end of story. 

I also got tweets from Melissa’s fans saying I should interview her because she was so much nicer than Teresa.  Not cool, but reality fans are hard core and I get that they were sticking up for their girl.  Before I had a chance to ask Melissa for an interview, Jacqueline Laurita stepped in.

I tweeted that Teresa and I spoke for an hour and Jac immediately tweeted to complain about Teresa doing “another interview”.  Jac spends a lot of time talking trash on Twitter.  She is irrelevant and not interesting so I get she is desperate for attention and bashes Teresa to get it.

She wrote I was a gossip writer, then Melissa chimed in.  I don’t remember it all and am too bored to go back and find it, but the bottom line is that Jac wrote about it, Melissa agreed with Jac, then I wrote to say I was not a gossip writer, and there was a lot of backpeddling.

Jac said she was not talking about me.  Lie.  Melissa said Jac was talking about another interview.  Lie.  I wrote to them both saying they were clearly talking about me, there was no need to lie, and I called them out on it. They then took to Twitter to publically talk about me, so it was on.

Jac insisted it was not me she was referring to then sent me a message telling me to tell people she never said it was me, as she was getting attacked.  Melissa also sent a private message saying she was not talking about me.  Whatever.  Cut to my saying it was not a big deal.

I sent Melissa a couple of my interviews and asked her if she would like to be interviewed.  She publically tweeted to me, “ANYTIME!”  She said her “assistant” would set it up.  A few days later I got an email from her publicist saying Melissa could not do the interview now because of Teresa.

This is the email:

Hi Ilana,

Thanks for your interest in interviewing Melissa.  We are interested in working with you, however because you just interviewed with Teresa we would like to wait a little while.  We will be in touch soon.  Thanks again.

Thank you,
Robyn

I wrote to Melissa and said it was a shame she was postponing and then let my Twitter followers know the interview was off.  Melissa wrote to say it was shady of me to announce on Twitter she was postponing. I reminded her she wrote me on Twitter and people wanted to know.

I told her it was silly to think she could not talk to me so soon after my talking to Teresa, and she agreed, telling me again we would do the interview.  I wrote her to set it up and never heard from her.  She promised an interview twice, and bailed twice.

She not only bailed, but was kind of not nice.  It’s a drag because I really like her.  My readers and her fans were looking forward to our chat and I was really looking forward to it.  I write a lot about faith, and the loss of my dad, and there was a lot to talk about with her.

At the end of the day it’s not really that big of deal that she bailed. What is a big deal is that she was caught in a lie.  She sells herself as the super nice girl getting screwed by her sister-in-law but in the end she looked more like a jealous fame seeker than a nice girl.

Teresa is great and I like her.  I am convinced that Melissa is also great, but we’ll never know the real her because she is guarded, fake, and under the impression that her publicist knows what’s best for her in terms of her interviews, and dissed the Jewish Journal.

All press is good press I guess, but promising an interview to someone who is going to write nice things and gush as a fan, then bailing and denying that you bailed is just dumb.  Melissa has no need to worry about being compared to Teresa because there is no comparison.

I’m here if Melissa ever wants to do the interview.  None of this will play into the conversation for me.  I get that she is doing the best she can, and gets a lot of requests.  I’m not mad that she bailed, just annoyed that they are lying about it.  No need for drama.

I think Melissa is a great mom, has a great husband, and I respect her faith.  I am also a writer who has dealt with a lot of reality stars and their “people” and I would suggest to this lovely woman that she get a new publicist.  One that will allow her to keep it real.

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You deserve MUCH better treatment than Messy Gorga gave you. Especially considering you were going to be doing HER a service by giving her ANY AIR.

Comment by stalina on 1/26/12 at 10:31 pm

Hi Ilana! Just wanted to say I love reading your blogs. About Melissa, you’re too nice if you ask me. She IS a jealous fameseeker and very very fake. She’s obviously very much enjoying the spotlight from riding her sister in laws coattails.  Like I said before, what more can be expected from a Lynn Hudson favorite?

Comment by Not that Lynn on 1/26/12 at 10:33 pm

um, i hate melissa gorga and she could raise folks from the dead and i would would still hate her., for the simple fact that if it was NOT for teresa she’d still be a lookers employee :D

Comment by kenneth on 1/26/12 at 10:39 pm

Thanks for sharing, as usual you never disappoint.  Keep the conversations coming.

Comment by Saboricua on 1/26/12 at 10:41 pm

Great blog! They keep getting better and better.  Love that you’re honest and don’t sugar-coat.

Comment by TGIF on 1/27/12 at 7:05 am

You would think that someone that has to resort to donning a fat suit to get press would be eager to score any type of interview.  haha! This exchange with you shows just how obsessed she is with Teresa.  I feel sorry for Teresa and Joe, because Melissa will never let there be peace between them.

Comment by Tea on 1/27/12 at 8:19 am

I think telling us what happened when you tried to talk to Melissa tells us more about her than interviewing her could. I bet if you had asked her for an interview while season 3 was airing, she would have accepted and told you her ‘story’ about what a good wife and sister in law she is, and how not nice Teresa is. Since you’ve asked her now, after it seems that public opinion of her has become mostly negative due to the reunion and twitter, she is afraid to talk because she wants to figure out how to spin it so she looks like the ‘nice’ one. I think we can all see what Teresa has had to deal with-a woman who calculates every move so she comes out on top instead of just being real. I am an admitted Teresa fan so this could just be my bias-but I BECAME a Teresa fan watching her deal with Melissa! Til then, I was pretty neutral towards all the RHONJ

Comment by camkid on 1/27/12 at 8:48 am

I am shocked to hear that she would turn-down an opportunity for publicity! (and the desperate fat-suit came to my mind as well).
Attaching her own deal to Teresa once-again? I don’t know how she expects to build her own identity if she keeps that going.
For myself, I can’t get past the story that was put out there, (that somehow Melissa & Joe felt that Teresa owed them her job just because they are family).
Then-again, “Its not what you know, Its who you know”-is one of the NJ state mottos. So it is interesting to see how that plays-out.
Its hysterical that she tells you, “ANYTIME”, and then retracts based-on, “bad-timing”. I think they are playing with you.

Comment by Housewifehater on 1/27/12 at 11:02 am

I don’t think this is the right way to go about it, but I still like you both.

Comment by Reader on 1/27/12 at 3:06 pm

I like Melissa and honestly, I think she is in over her head with the show, her wanna be singing career, etc to the point where she listens to her stupid publicist too much because she fears making a bad move.  Publicists SUCK and often make the person they are representing look bad.  Melissa, screw your publicist, do the interview.  Just be you and then thank Jesus for it.

Comment by dom on 1/27/12 at 3:43 pm

Observation, last time you did a blog about Jill not meeting with you, didn’t you take it down? Why leave this one up?
I like you Angel, but this sounds like you are upset although you say it’s not a big deal.

Comment by Observation on 1/27/12 at 4:13 pm

Melissa is a HUGE liar!!! Everything that comes out of her mouth is a lie! I bet she doesn’t want to do the interview because you won’t lie a bout Teresa. Melissa only like doing interviews with people she can manipulate and lie to. you would see through her lies and that is what she is afraid of. She makes me sick to my stomach and I love jesus so I don’t appreciate a big fat liar thanking him whenit is obvious she is not a christian or catholic, she even lies about that. Action speak louder than words and she acts like a criminal.

Comment by Christy on 1/27/12 at 6:41 pm

I love your blog and I think you are a very sweet honest person. It would probably be in your best interest not to interview Melissa as she is a very dishonest person and it would not go well. Melissa is very manipulative and evrything that comes out of her mouth is a lie. Melissa makes me very uncomfortable.

Comment by David on 1/27/12 at 6:44 pm

I am always mystified that Melissa has a single fan. Doesn’t the constant lying of this women make people’s stomach churn? It makes my stomach churn. I feel very bad for Teresa that she has to deal with such a horrible woman trying to cause problems for her non stop. I think it’s pretty obvious why Melissa doesn’t want to do the interview is because this blogger isn’t willing to lie for her, Melissa only likes people she can manipulate and let her lie and don’t call her out on anything. There hasn’t been one interview yet that has called Melissa out on her lies and harm she has caused her own family for her selfishness.

Comment by Mark on 1/27/12 at 7:22 pm

Love reading your blogs, Iana, but I must say that in the end, I’m really glad you didn’t interview Melisa, as I despise her. Yes, I said that.  She’s too manipulative and attention-seeking for me, and as a Catholic, her Thank you Jesus’ is bunch of horse crap. During that twitter, I responded to wacko Jacko and said why do YOU have to get involved again, and she had the nerve to DM me, asking WHY I was concerned, as her life is an “open book”.  As she doesn’t follow me and blocked me, I couldn’t respond to her (which really pissed me off).  Altho, in the end, I’m happy I don’t have to read her incoherent tweets.

Comment by JEANIE on 1/27/12 at 8:27 pm

Melissa is such a liar. She makes me sick, she is a very dishonest selfish person. I wish she would go away.

Comment by sammie on 1/27/12 at 10:36 pm

Melissa is a nut job. She needs to leave Teresa alone, the whole Single White Female obsession with her sister in law is getting really old and so are the lies. I’m totally over anything to do with Melissa. I love this blog and I personally think she did you a favor not giving you an interview, she would’ve just lied and blew smoke up your arse. You’re too good for her, she doesn’t deserve to be interviewed by you. Truth!

Comment by Gregg on 1/28/12 at 12:18 am

Ilana,
I just love your column. You are always fair and honest, and I really enjoy your forthrightness. You gave Melissa too much courtesy. She is a jealous hypocrite and a liar, and does not deserve your precious time in interviewing her. LOVE YOU GIRL!!!

Comment by DJ on 1/28/12 at 12:51 pm

I think its very telling, the whole twitter arguing. Its true there is no problem telling Melissa and Teresa apart. Teresa is who she is, like it or not. She doesnt change to please anyone else or to make herself look better to the public. Teresa tries her best not to bad mouth her family, unlike Melissa and Jaq. I admire you for putting the truth out. I believe through all the fussing and fighting you have exposed all three (Teresa, melissa, Jaq) for who they really are.

Great Job.. looking forward to your next interview.

Comment by Dawn on 1/28/12 at 3:45 pm

I really do not understand how some of these reality show “stars” are willing to open up almost every aspect of their lives to cameras, but clam up when asked or after having agreed to doing an interview…but I am guessing the $$$ is the reason, as I imagine you are not paying them to be interviewed…
I don’t always agree with your opinion, but I love that you like all the ones you interviewed, especially after writing some really brutally honest things about them…and I do think it brave that they talk to you too, I think that also shows that it is more manipulated reality and acting, and not the true person being portrayed

Comment by tracy on 1/28/12 at 7:10 pm

Ilana I love love love it as Teresa would say, lol.  I remember that day on twitter when you did your interview with Teresa and Jac put one of her passive aggressive tweets out their. Saw convo w/ Jac and she denied it was u. She also sent me a DM and I called her out on it on twitter since I couldn’t reply to her. She then sent me another stupid DM, what is with these idiots and their DMs. Melissa jumped on bandwagon and if I remember hinted she would like to do interview.  You very clearly told her your terms, conversation about her as Mom not NJ Wife. She agreed.  I thought to myself, she only wants to do it becuz Tre did one, lol. Figured she would not do it, I was right. Glad u called her on her BS, I was there. She proved Tre was right that Mel is the follower and I was not on Tre side in beginning, now I am.

Comment by Barbara on 1/28/12 at 9:08 pm

Love Melissa! Teresa is a devil!

Comment by super on 1/28/12 at 9:51 pm

This is my Theory. Melissa gets alot of heat for copying Teresa’s every move. She used her publicist as a mouth piece so she wouldn’t look bad cancelling herself. She does the same thing with her husband and sisters. She whines him about and makes him fight the battle so her hands can stay clean. She uses people alot….and the fans can see right through her.

Comment by bev on 1/29/12 at 8:53 am

I am glad she would not interview with you.  You are too good for her.

Comment by terri on 2/02/12 at 4:12 pm

Great article! It’s nice to know a writer finally agrees with what a lot of us already know.

Comment by Carmel on 2/06/12 at 9:30 am

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