Posted by Ilana Angel
We start this week with Teresa working out with a woman who has a body that I find offensive. Eat a sandwich lady. With mayo! Teresa looks amazing and she is talking about Gia’s birthday party, which is coming up, and co-ed. I have a son and it is stressful so I can just imagine what it is like to have 4 daughters, who are all insanely beautiful. God Bless Tre and Juicy.
We jump to Jac who has bought a hyperbaric bed for Nicholas. Good for her that she is showing options and her efforts to help her son, but at the same time, if I am dealing with the same thing, and don’t have the money for these things, it would be hard for me to watch. Nick likes the bed and it is sweet. Joe is moved by it all and wants to fix things with Teresa.
Caroline talks about Jac like she is her PR person. Let’s respect what Jac is going through, but also remember she is bitch. Caroline tells Jac she met with Teresa and Tre expects an apology. Really? They never talked about Jac! Caroline is a gossip and a liar because Joe never asked her to talk to Teresa. Poor Caroline is trying to look good in order to sell books.
Juicy is out with Gia, giving her the sex talk and it is adorable. Gia is mortified, Juicy is trying, and it is a sweet moment. Not sure I would want it on TV if I were Gia, but still, super sweet scene between father and daughter. Back at Jac’s, Caroline is going to talk to Joe, but Jac wants it to be all about her. I seriously cannot stand Jac and think she is fake and dumb.
We go to Kathy’s house and Rosie has taken Joseph out in his dad’s Ferrari. It is raining and the kid only has his permit, so not too smart an idea. They pull in, Richie is confused, Kathy is pissed, Rosie is entertained, and Joseph could care less. This family is not entertaining and I truly do not understand why they are here. I don’t care about any of them. Never have.
Teresa and Juicy are off to the hospital to see her dad who has been admitted with pneumonia. Joe is also sick and cannot visit his dad because he is sick. Joe is telling Melissa about how sick his dad is and I am not feeling any compassion from her. She is wondering how is will effect her camera time, not how it will effect her husband. Melissa is bad.
Joe tells Melissa that he spoke to Caroline and Melissa is pissed off. She cannot have anyone trying to fix what she spends all her time trying to break. Melissa is a nightmare and anyone who watches this show and does not see that this is all her fault, is clearly drunker than I am. Melissa is going to Gia’s party with Antonia, but not Joe. Not a good thing.
Melissa and Kathy are now working out which makes sense because Melissa does everything that Teresa does. Melissa has nothing to do on this show, unless she is talking about Teresa. Kathy is useless, so this entire thing is a bore. Melissa says she is sick too and I am laughing. She is not sick, unless you call being delusional being sick. I cannot stand her anymore.
Teresa is stressed out about her dad who in is ICU. She hopes Joe will come to Gia’s party, but we know he won’t. Jac shows up at the gym to work out and it makes no sense. Jac is an idiot. Linda, Tre’s friend with the insane body is there, and the girls start gossiping about her. Honestly, is Bravo going to spend all season showing Melissa and Kathy talking about Teresa?
Linda calls Teresa to say the girls are at their gym, which apparently makes no sense since it is not their gym. Teresa wonders how it is that Melissa can work out, but not visit her dad for 5 minutes. Caroline is moving out of her house into the apartment due to “downsizing”. Translation: They are probably going into foreclosure. Teresa needs her own show.
Caroline’s sister now has a pig at the house. Who cares? We jump to Teresa and the girls who are all getting their hair done for the birthday party. Gia does not want to talk about Joe, and is clearly torn to be put in the middle. I understand Teresa is upset and talks to her kid, but I feel bad for Gia. Joe is sick and not coming, it is not personal, it is sickness.
Melissa is getting her kids ready for the party and threatens her son with hot pepper in the mouth. I hate that parenting technique. Joe is still sick and not going, but Melissa tells him he didn’t want to go anyway. Melissa is a troublemaker and Joe loves her so much he buys into her bullshit. Melissa is single handedly breaking her husband’s family apart. For real.
Sidebar: Milania Giudice is television perfection. I LOVE this kid and she steals the show every time she is on camera. I will say again, what I have been saying forever, a show about JUST Teresa and her kids would be great television. Bravo needs to dump the garbage and focus on the gold. We are getting bored with the show so give us what we want already.
It’s time for Gia’s party and it looks fun. There are a lot of kids and Gia is totally mortified by her parents. Juicy is asking boys if they have a crush on Gia, Teresa wants to take tons of pics, and I am laughing at how cute they all are. Kathy’s kids are going to see Teresa’s dad, but she is not going. So gross. She is now desperate for camera time and it is pathetic.
Richie tells her to suck it up and go see him. These two don't seem to like each other. Richie says Kathy should go for herself, but really it is to piss off Teresa. Melissa is driving t the party and listening to her own record in the car with the kids. Oh. My. God. Melissa is taking crap about Teresa in front of her kids. Melissa is a troll and I don’t trust her.
Kim D shows up to the party. I don’t like her. Melissa comes with her kids and Teresa’s kids are thrilled about their cousins, but don’t care about Melissa. Linda and Kim D are talking about Melissa not visiting her father-in-law and it is a shame they are doing this at the party. Melissa is talking about how sick Joe is and says she did visit her father-in-law.
Melissa is a liar. Kim D calls out Melissa for lying. Melissa says he looked good, and Teresa is not standing for the lies. Melissa is caught in the lie and I am loving it. Stupid bitch. Teresa throws in the towel and does not want to fight, but Melissa won’t let it go. Teresa calls her out and Melissa is up and out. She is going to pull her kids out of the party. Not cool.
This whole thing is sad. I love Teresa but this should not have happened at Gia’s party and even though Melissa started it, Teresa should have focused on the kids, not the lying skank. I am sad for these kids, sad for Teresa, and sad for Joe that he does not see what his wife is doing. The kids are upset and in the end they suffer because their parents are crazy.
Melissa storms off and her kids don’t get cake. Teresa is annoyed, Juicy is not surprised, and Gia is heartbroken. Melissa says she always does the right thing and I am laughing. I love this show but there is no denying that it simply does not work anymore. We are watching, we are slowly checking out, and we are waiting for Bravo to get a clue and start keeping it real.
12.7.13 at 8:49 am | What the hell is Bravo giving us?
12.7.13 at 7:29 am | I'm not going to lie, these women and the men. . .
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire.
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television.
12.2.13 at 7:12 am | I was bored with all the jumping around.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . .
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . . (4372)
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire. (4291)
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television. (3649)
June 15, 2013 | 9:56 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I love Wendy Williams. I think she is funny, smart, outspoken, brave, open, and talented. I once wrote a blog about how great I thought she was, which she read, and when she came to LA for a promo tour, she invited me to say hello. I went to meet her and she was really quite fabulous. She is very pretty in person, very tall, and very warm. She talks to you, makes eye contact when you speak, and was just an all around great lady.
I respect her because she is not afraid. Much like me, she says what she thinks and does not worry about what the fall out will be. If it is her truth, she shares it. If her opinion changes, she will say why and move on. With all the pathetic press that LeAnn Rimes is doing for her horrible record, and all the entertainment reporters she is paying to talk to her without asking any important questions, I was excited for her to talk to Wendy.
There are so many things we just don’t understand about LeAnn, that my feeling was finally we would get some answers through Wendy. If anyone was going to not be afraid and ask her what we wanted to know, it would be the divine Ms. Wendy Williams. Well, not so much. LeAnn was on Wendy’s show last week and it was an epic failure. LeAnn was a snake and Wendy was weak. A truly disappointing effort from the Queen.
She did not ask her anything important, or that had not been asked already. It was clearly scripted, and while I understand Wendy may have had her hands tied, she should have stayed true to herself and had LeAnn walk off angry instead of sucking up to her. LeAnn came out and immediately cleaned her teeth with her tongue, wearing a hideous outfit, and talked about her being attracted to Eddie’s hands. LeAnn Rimes is a home wrecker.
Wendy is better than this. She asked the fluff questions about trust and I actually laughed at her. LeAnn is scripted and at the exact same time pulling lies out of her ass. Wendy called her “kiddo”, kissed her ass, and it was just stupid. Wendy asked her about rehab twice and LeAnn skirted it. There is no talk of Twitter, the lawsuit against Kim Smiley, her bullying of bloggers, or anything that actually matters. LeAnn Rimes is wasting our time.
We knew that going in, but sadly we learned Wendy is not the Queen. She has changed how I view her, and while I completely understand how the games works, she should have been more Wendy and less sell out. Wendy should have asked about her Twitter and lawsuit obsession, and had her refuse to answer it, then move on, but to not ask it at all was an epic fail. Sadly, Wendy Williams was unable and unwilling to keep it real.
June 14, 2013 | 9:14 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I cannot stop watching this show, even though I think it is total crap. I do not believe it works anymore because people use it to get famous, not find love. I find that I laugh at it more than I find it interesting and this batch of men is just not that appealing. Des is a harmless enough girl but she went from naïve and sweet to sophisticated and jaded so fast that it makes me think she faked her way through her season with Sean.
Nothing about this show is real, or even remotely connected to reality, but I watch, and I mock, and get emails from people who await my bitter snark, and so I continue to blog a show that is ridiculous, in order to give my loyal readers something to laugh at while questioning their own sanity for watching. I don’t know a single person who watches because they love it. We watch because we drink romance flavored Kool Aid.
Two hours of this show a week makes me want to choke on my own vomit, so rather than watch the entire time and actually pay attention, I am going to take the advice of my most dedicated Bachelor/Bachelorette reader, the fabulous Tim, and skip over all commercials, all Disney references, and all conversations that begin with “This is amazing.” With these new rules in mind, I am going to race through this crapfest.
The first group date is to play dodge ball. Really? This is lame and Mike Fleiss must be high if he thinks this is good television. Des is watching the men seriously try to hurt each other with balls, while wearing work out clothes, and sporting what appear to be freakishly short legs. She has a hobbit quality to her body when we see it in these clothes. She is a little disproportioned. Then the men arrive ready for battle.
Dear Lord. What these men are willing to do for 15 minute of fame, which ultimately lets all of America know they are losers, is fascinating. Someone breaks a finger and needs to go to the hospital, but I am more interested in the fact that at the dodge ball game Des has straight hair, but in the interviews wearing the same clothes, her hair is curly. This show sucks, and I am moving from wine to tequila to help me manage.
All the men are invited for drinks after. Scripted. Brooks is in the hospital while Des goes for private time with Brad, who has something private to tell her. Just her. Just her, and America. He tells her he has a three year old son. Brad is now sexy single dad guy. He talks about an arrest for domestic violence, and a drunken ex, and it is too much baggage. He went from sexy single dad to wounded single dad and I’m over it.
Everyone is sucking up to Des, and as some guy who is totally forgettable says the word “awesome”, I am jumping ahead. Brooks has made a miraculous recovery, is totally jacked up on meds, and they make out. Icky. There is now a private concert and so, according to my new watching rules from Tim, I am skipping over it. Cut to Des at home the next day talking about how amazing the date was, and we are skipping again.
Des is talking to Brian, and lets us know he has a girlfriend at home. Then, with dramatic music thrown in, Brian’s girlfriend Stephanie shows up. The girlfriend is crying, Brian is denying, and we learn they slept together right up to the time he left for the show. Wow. This guy is a pig, his girlfriend is crying with no tears, and lets us know she has a child and he has been in his life. Blah, blah, blah, I am so incredibly bored.
Brian is going to be kicked out so I can skip over this entire thing. I am loving Tim right now because I watched the first hour in 16 minutes. Whoo Hoo! Cut to Brandon who is crying again. Dear Lord. Brandon has REALLY got to go home. By home of course I mean therapy. Important to note that on all of reality television, only Brandon has real tears. Bravo to you Brandon. Now go home, you are wounded and broken.
Casey is off on his date but Des is preoccupied by the Brain crap. They are going to dance on the side of a building and I have now done a shot of tequila to speed up the numbness. Des says the date is awesome and so we are out! Cut to their cocktail time and a windstorm kicks in, so rather than take cover for safety, they decide to jump in the pool for a wind swim. Really? The pool is cold, there is shrinkage, he gets a rose.
Time for the next group date and it is cowboy time. The writers on this show need to start smoking pot so they can get a little more creative. The date is going to be cowboy stunts, as was done in the new Disney movie The Lone Ranger, and so we are out. Juan Pablo wins the alone time and she is so into him it is hilarious. He really is divine looking and sexy as hell, so good for her. Des is becoming a little slutty.
It is group date cocktail time and Des is making out with a lot of people. Bless her. Soldier boy says she is awesome, so we are out! Important to note I am loving these new rules. This is the most fun I’ve had blogging the crapfest ever. Ever! Granted, I am a little drunk, but still, I love you Tim. Some guy is talking about his dad and blowing smoke up her ass so I am going to walk away and get myself another drink.
Des cancels the cocktail party and so everyone is now scrambling to get time with her. She is going to do a pool party instead, then do the rose ceremony. Ben intercepts Des going into the house and takes her for a drive alone. He is creepy. All the men hate him, and Des thinks he is fabulous, so he is going down soon. Des is in a pool with all the guys and tells us it is awesome, so we are out! Ben is lying and getting caught.
Brandon takes Des aside and lets her know he will never hurt her and he loves her. Oh. My. God. He loves her and goes in for a kiss, which is painful to watch. This guy is going to get stomped on and he has only himself to blame. That one is going to hurt. Pool party is over and we are off to the rose ceremony. Important to note that Chris Harrison appearing to announce the final rose of the night always pisses me off.
Dan and Brandon are out. I have no idea who Dan is, but crybaby Brandon is in shock and unable to understand. He leaves, Des goes after him and he is, wait for it, crying. She tells him there was no chemistry and she wanted to spare him, but he is love with her damn it. I hate this show, but I love my new blogging technique to I will be back next week, with a slightly damaged liver, but still keeping it real.
June 10, 2013 | 7:03 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
We are still in Mexico for Tamra’s bachelorette party. It is a bachelorette party for a woman with no wedding date, and a man who is not sure he wants to marry her, but here we are. It occurs to me as I watch this show that it should be shown in prison. Convicts should be forced to watch this crap over and over again. That is real torture. Surely there is a jail in the OC that is using this tactic already.
Vicki, Tamra and Lydia have dumped Heather and Gretchen, and gone out dancing. Gretchen is pissed, Heather is worried, and the others are hammered. Vicki did this on purpose to screw over Gretchen, which thrills us all to pieces. Vicki is a maniac and that Gretchen is going to cry is entertaining. Tamra is plastered, Lydia is not invested, and Vicki is gloating.
The drunks get home and go into Heather’s room. She is not mad, just disappointed, then Gretchen joins and she is livid. Tamra is trying to be serious, but she is laughing and the more upset Gretchen gets, the more Tamra and Vicki laugh. It is just too funny. Gretchen was complaining about Vicki making the weekend about her, but now she is making it about her. These old hags are behaving like teenagers and it is embarrassing.
The drunks move to Tamra’s room and are laughing at how distressed Gretchen is. Vicki laughs and pees herself. Literally pees herself on Tamra’s bed. Really? This sloppy and vindictive drunk has just peed on her friend’s bed and I am dying. My first margarita of the evening has been poured. Cut to the morning and Gretchen has a pole shoved up her ass, Vicki is still gloating, and the girls are off for a stressed fill fake weekend.
Important to note that Gretchen’s fake laugh makes me want to shove jalapeños down my throat. As they ride through town Vicki points out they are where they got drunk, and the fun begins. Lydia tries to talk about it, but it blows over. They go see a bull and matador. This is the dumbest bachelorette party ever. They are like a bunch of old ladies now, which means they will be a bunch of skanky whores later in the show.
Three, two, one, here we go. Heather is being a bitch and Lydia is not interested in any games. They screwed up by leaving them, but need to move on. Gretchen is now fake crying and sucking all the joy out of the weekend and making it all about her. She is hurt. Poor baby. Vicki thinks Gretchen is an idiot, and I agree. The best part though is the poor tour guide who is sitting in the car with them wanting to jump out the window.
Vicki is over it and tells Gretchen to grow up and get over it, to which Gretchen responds by calling her a bitch. The tour is over and they are now going to hang out by the pool. Why are these chicks wearing heels to the pool? Losers. Gretchen arrives and gives all the girls a gift bag full of swag, and all the swag is her own crap. I wonder how many of those things accidentally got left in the hotel room when they left for home.
It is now time for the after school special moment of the episode. Gretchen and Tamra are going to go on a walk and Vicki is so jealous that she makes fun of it. Gretchen uses every opportunity she can to tell the camera that Vicki is a whore. That is going to blow up soon. Gretchen storms off, Tamra is not into the fighting, Tamra goes to support Gretchen, and Gretchen starts up with Vicki’s indiscretions. Tamra is a bitch.
Tamra throws Vicki under the bus, and Lydia is normal one. Tamra is now crying, and Gretchen is relishing in being the friend chosen to witness Tamra’s breakdown. In the blink of an eye Tamra is bitching about her horrible childhood and I am laughing my ass off. This is all to get sympathy so she can get a wedding special, which she did. I feel for her story, but really? This is going down at the fake bachelorette party?
We are now forced to watch Alexis and Jim have dinner together. Seriously? NOBODY CARES ABOUT THESE PEOPLE. They go into the restaurant and want us to think they are regulars. Really? They are not regulars because they have no money. They eat ramen at home. Alexis is talking about Mexico because apparently “Lydia” sent her a text about all the drama. Alexis wants another baby and Jim is not interested.
The fake party continues and everyone is making nice. Strippers are coming and Lydia is not interested. I really like Lydia. They are giving Tamra gifts and I want to cut myself. Heather gives her a pregnancy test and I am laughing because there is simply no way Tamra’s eggs are not poached. If she has another baby it will be yet another child who will need years of therapy to get over the Real housewives of Orange County.
There are a lot of penises and dildos making their way into the evening so Lydia excuses herself. Love her. Heather throws in the token Jew “Oy Vey” and I am done. Strippers arrive and I do not think it is entertaining or cute. All I can think about is their kids and that is sad. These strippers are hideous and I would not touch them. Tamra however seems to be digging it as Gretchen fondles their junk. They are slutbags.
The party is over, morning has come, and they are all having breakfast in full makeup. Next week we will see Brianna cry, Heather and Gretchen fight, and Brooks shows up while they are all together with Alexis and Jim. Oh. My. God. If this show being shown in prison does not scare people straight, then I don’t know what will. This show grosses me out, but I watch. Why? Because I’m paid to. That is keeping it real.
June 9, 2013 | 8:43 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
This show is a train wreck in terms of reality TV, and a nightmare if you are Jewish. It is offensive because with the exception of one girl, Chanel, there is nothing Jewish about these chicks other than the fact that they happen to be Jewish. They don’t even know what Shabbat is, but we will come back to that. This show pisses me off but I am watching and blogging if only to let people know this is not what Jewish looks like.
Andy Cohen should be ashamed of himself. There are people watching this show who don’t know any Jews and will think this is how we are. Really Andy? You are smarter than this. It would appear Andy is as conveniently Jewish as these chicks are. Saying Oy Vey does not make you a Jew. In the case of these girls, it simply makes you an idiot. I am going to try to get through this hour without wanting to impale myself.
I want to just say that showing religious Jews walking on the streets of Long Island is ridiculous. These girls are not that Jewish. I was raised secular as many of them are, and I am not ignorant about my faith like they are. Granted I became more religious as I got older, but still, this is idiotic and these girls need to stop defining themselves as Jewish, but rather Jew-ish.
We start with Amanda who is so nasally I want to shove my hand up her nose and clear her sinuses. Joey comes by to apologize for the mess at the pool party. Joey seems like a nice girl and I think she is much prettier than Erica, who is supposed to be the pretty one. Joey is sorry Amanda’s boyfriend is gay. Wait, she's sorry he was outed at the pool party, but does not care that he is gay.
Chanel, the only cute and funny one, is taking Ashlee out for drinks in the city. Ashlee makes my skin crawl. She is 30 years old and acts like she is 16. She is rude and obnoxious. Her parents are so ready for her to get married, they don’t care who takes her off her hands, just take her. God bless Ashlee’s parents for dealing with what they created.
Ashlee and Chanel go out clubbing on what is gay night. Ashlee is disappointed and Chanel thinks maybe one of them has a nice brother. I love Chanel. Casey shows up to join them. She is a Long Island girl who lives in the city. She’s pretty and seems sweet, but only stays for a bit and bails. Chanel says in high school Erica stole Casey’s boyfriend.
Back on Long Island, Amanda and Erica are on a double date. I truly cannot stand these two. The voices, the laughing, the talking, the breathing, all of it is annoying. Erica is a slag, Jeff is in denial, Amanda reminds me of Giuliana Rancic, and Rob is watching this show at home and planning how to dump the slut. I am drinking but it not making it any easier.
Chanel is planning a Shabbat dinner and weekend in the Hamptons, that they are all going to. Amanda lets us know Jeff is full of testosterone and I cannot stop laughing. Chanel is visiting with Chanel and we learn Casey is an artist and cocktail waitress. They are talking about Erica and the heartache she caused her when she was young.
Sidebar: Everyone keeps talking about how pretty Erica was and I just don’t get it. They are all prettier than Erica. Chanel lets Casey know Erica will be at the weekend and wants her to come anyway. Casey agrees to come but makes no promises about how it will go. Chanel is lovely and tells Casey she can sleep in her room and she will protect her. Sweet.
All their houses look like they have not been decorated since the 80’s. Joey is visiting Erica and lets us know that Erica is a slut. Erica is gross and talks with her mouth full. I am not a fan and could never be friends with this chick. Ever. Erica tells Joe that she slept with Casey’s boyfriend, then Joey tells Erica that she also slept with her boyfriend.
Apparently Erica slept with everyone’s boyfriend. Dear Lord. Why go on a TV show to be outed as a slut? Erica is stupid and Joey lets us know that while Erica was a slut in high school, she is still a slut now. I love me some Joey. Erica is going on the weekend and thinks if Casey still has a problem with the fact that she banged her love, she is ridiculous.
We meet Casey’s mom who seems lovely. Casey is stressed out about the weekend and explains that her parents divorced when she was 2, after her father cheated on her mother and left. Casey has issues that are more about her dad than Erica. Erica is a slut, and Casey needs to get some therapy, but that has nothing to do with Erica.
It is time for the weekend and they are going on a party bus. The amount of stuff Ashlee is taking is insane. She makes sure her dad has the “truck drivers” phone number. Chanel is hanging out with the wrong girls. For real. Erica talks about masturbation and we learn that Ashlee never masturbates. There are many reasons these chicks are not married.
The gang has arrived in the Hamptons. Ashlee cannot carry her own bags so Chanel does it, and then says it is her pleasure. I love Chanel. Erica is on the phone to her parents in a second to say the house is worthy of her. The only thing this show is going to do for Erica is guarantee that she is never going to get married. There is simply no man that dumb.
Everyone is getting ready for Shabbat dinner and I am amazed at how little they know about Shabbat. These chicks make me sick. By chicks of course I mean all but Chanel, and occasionally Joey. Casey arrives and ignores Erica, even though Erica wants to engage her. Amanda is not there because her and Jeff are watching a Judy Garland movie.
There is tension and it is going to go down. Chanel is guiding her super dumb friends through the prayers and my skin is crawling. They are disrespectful of the tradition, and of Chanel, so bless her for being so gracious because it is pissing me off. There is virtually nothing Jewish about them. Erica is getting drunk and cannot stop talking for one minute.
Erica is rambling on about things that are inappropriate and Casey loses her mind. Erica is once again talking with her mouth full and Casey blows up, telling her to be quiet and stop talking. Bravo Casey. She tells Erica she is ridiculous and weird and everyone sits uncomfortably as they go at it. Erica starts crying and leaves the table. Classy ladies.
Casey is now crying and mortified that she ruined dinner, while Erica talks to the man dumb enough to date her, about what is going on. Chanel is the voice of calm and reason and wants to fix things. Not happening. There is a reason Andy is off for two weeks. He knows we’d be calling in to WWHL about how when it comes to being Jewish, this is not keeping it real.
June 9, 2013 | 6:19 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
We start this week with Teresa and her girls. Teresa has never looked better and her kids are gorgeous. They are funny, real kids and watching them reminds me of my sisters and me. Milania is hilarious, Audriana is a little doll, Gabriella is the classic middle girl, and Gia is like a grown up. I like these girls, like their mother, and wish we saw the kids more.
Teresa is having the girls make cards for her dad who is having a pacemaker put in. It is heartbreaking to be a parent, and watch your parents get old. I feel for Teresa and wish her father health and happiness always. Cut to Melissa, who is with Joe and her kids, who are also beautiful. They have their realtor come over to see why their house has not sold yet.
I do not understand how anyone can watch this show and not see how vindictive Melissa is. She works very hard to keep her husband away from his sister and it is disgusting. She says she goes to church to pray for her house to sell. Translation: she goes to church and prays Teresa and Joe never make up so the tension insures her more camera time.
Over to Caroline, Lauren is bitter, miserable, and still living at home. Caroline’s sister Fran is staying with them. She looks a little like Dina. Albert does not look good or happy. Caroline tells Albert Joe asked her to talk to Teresa. Really? Did I miss that? Joe did not ask her to do anything. Caroline knows the only way to be relevant is through Teresa.
I don’t trust Caroline, but I remember how she was in the beginning and she was great, so maybe she is trying to be that person again. Too much has happened to ever get there, but I guess it is good she is trying. One could also argue that she is not trying to mend fences, as much as she is trying to secure camera time on a show where she no longer matters.
Kathy and Richie are taking their son Joseph for a drive as he is going to get his license. Richie Wakile is hideous, his wife is boring, and his kids, while lovely, bring nothing to this show. I honestly have no idea why they are still here. We then jump to Jac, who in my opinion, is using her son to get sympathy and camera time. Bless her son, but she is an idiot.
Chris and Joe are playing pool and after Joe does his mandatory sex talk, he asks how Chris and Jac are doing. Chris says Jac is up late every night doing research on autism. Really? Jac is up all night on Twitter being a moron. To hear her speak of her son is heartbreaking and I honestly feel for her, but there is something fake about her that makes it not ring true.
Jac cries, with no tears, and Chris talks of their struggle. I do not respect Jac, but I will say that I wish Chris, Jac, and their family all the best and I will keep them, as well as all parents who deal with this situation, in my prayers. Who she is on this show is not who she is as a mother. I may not like her here, but I wish her and children health and happiness.
Caroline is with Lauren, again talking about how Joe asked her to talk to Teresa. Sidebar: for such a huge house, why is Lauren’s bedroom so small? Lauren’s opinion is stupid and of no interest to me. Caroline going on and on about Teresa is a waste of time. She is not interested in anything but trying to improve her image so she will sell books. Not happening.
Teresa is getting ready and talking to Juicy. I know he is a bit of a schmuck sometimes, but I love Juicy. Teresa and Juicy are hilarious, Caroline and Lauren are boring, and I am pouring another glass of wine. Kathy and Richie, who are truly revolting, are visiting Victoria who is mortified by her father, and wearing her hair dark, which looks really beautiful.
Kathy looks funny in her interviews. She is channeing her inner 40’s film siren but it is more drag queen. Bless her. Richie and Kathy don’t appear to even like each other, which makes sense because nobody likes Richie. We then head over to Jac’s house, as they are planning to have people over for dinner. Jac and Chris are talking about autism again.
Is this all they are going to talk about? Listen, it needs to be talked about, just not here. Over at Melissa’s house, the realtor is showing the house and Melissa and the whole family is home. Really? Real Estate 101, don’t have the homeowners home when you show the house. Melissa is full of crap, not particularly bright, and I am annoyed just listening to her.
Joe is talking about how great his house is, and how expensive it is, while the realtor is slamming the quality of the house upstairs. Perfection. Sidebar: Is it just me or does Melissa look a little like JLo tonight? Sorry JLo! Turns out their house is just like them, fake. The reason they have not sold their house is because it is simply not that great a house.
Caroline and Teresa meet for lunch. Oy vey. They are in a private room and Caroline thinks she is important. Teresa goes to shake her hand, but Caroline goes in for the kiss. She tells Teresa Joe asked her to come, and again, no he didn’t. Teresa says Caroline talking to her is scraping the bottom of the barrel. Bravo. Teresa is not buying it and is not interested.
Teresa is calm and collected, while Caroline is yelling and aggressive. Caroline is using examples that make no sense. Teresa is not an idiot. Caroline has lost all control and is now screaming about things that have nothing to do with what she wanted to meet her about. I am more Team Teresa than ever before, and will not be reading Caroline’s book.
While Teresa is out for lunch with Caroline, Jac is hosting dinner. Again with the lousy editing at Bravo. Jac is injected up the ass, and Richie is vulgar. Chris has been working with a therapist to get Nick to say I love you to Jac. Just the thought of that makes me cry. Nick says it and everyone cries, but Jac. I’m back to thinking she is a tool.
We snap back to lunch with Caroline and Teresa. Stupid. Teresa is not interested in Caroline’s crapfest. Caroline’s voice is offensive and she is not the one to be giving lessons here. She says her brain hurts, which is funny because we never knew she had one. I freaking love this show and whether or not I am a fan of one lady or the other, they are good TV.
The season is only two weeks in but it is all over the place. The editing makes no sense, there is no continuity, and it feels like they filmed a bunch of stuff then threw it together without any thought to the fact that we are all watching, and actually paying attention. In the end it does not matter because we are still watching, even if they don’t keep it real.
June 9, 2013 | 2:40 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Chanel Omari is a 28 year old Modern Orthodox woman from Long Island. I spent some time talking with her last week and I can tell you she is a truly remarkable woman. When I think about my son meeting a nice Jewish girl, I’d like it to be someone like Chanel. She possesses all the qualities a mother would want for her son, except for one little thing. She is currently starring on what may possibly be the most offensive reality TV show ever.
Chanel is one of the women featured on Bravo’s Princesses Long Island. It is a horrific depiction of what it means to be a Jewish woman. If you take all the stereotypes of Jewish women, and then multiply by 10, you will be close to how these women are depicted. By depicted of course I mean how they really are. They are obnoxious, ignorant, stupid, and selfish. Because they are all these things, Chanel sticks out like a ray of sunshine in an otherwise dark hour of TV.
Chanel should have her own show, as her life is interesting without the baggage of her ridiculous friends. Important to note that the show has only aired one episode so it is possible I will change my opinion. Possible in the same way pigs may become kosher and I will marry George Clooney. This blog is not about the Princesses Long Island train wreck, but rather about Chanel. I am proud of her, have an honest affection for her, and I hope she survives this show without getting pulled over to the dark side.
Chanel was raised in Long Island, went to day school, and attended Northeastern University where she studied broadcast journalism. She has a wonderful family and is particularly close to her dad. They are best friends and he has encouraged her to be herself, live a full life, and find joy in embracing her faith. To hear Chanel speak of what it means to be Jewish, is touching. Her Jewish values are embedded in her core and I was inspired her generosity of spirit.
Chanel would like to meet a wonderful man and get married. At 28 she feels the pressure of her family and community to get married, but she wants to makes sure she knows who she is first. She is not prepared to become half of a whole, without first knowing who her half is. She is finding herself, seeing the world, and ensuring her worldview has a far reaching arc that includes views and opinions beyond Long Island, and also beyond her faith. She is lovely and wise.
She has managed to navigate through a secular world while leading a religious life. She has spent a lot of time explaining her faith to those outside her circle, without fear of judgment. I found her to be brave, and in the world of stale reality TV, something fresh.The Jews cast on reality TV are always just a little off. Strange, rude, pretentious, or simply creepy, much like the entire cast of Princesses Long Island, except for Chanel. Finally a normal Jew. For now.
Chanel says that as a Jew it is her responsibility to live in a way that makes God happy. She says there are many silver linings to being Jewish, which I thought was a wonderful thing. She has been taught to pick herself up when she falls, and knows she can take comfort in knowing that God supports her and does not judge. Mistakes will be made, and she knows that with mistakes comes learning. I think she would make a great and inspiring Rabbi.
During the first episode of Princesses, one of Chanel’s friends, who knows she keeps kosher, invited her over for a BBQ. The friends father, also Jewish, made a mockery of kosher food, saying a fake prayer and serving it to Chanel, knowing she is kosher. It made me cry. I thought it was hurtful and I was amazed that in a world where so many disrespect faith, to have one of my own do it made me very sad. It was one of the reasons I wrote such a scathing review.
Chanel was shocked when she saw the episode. It was a perfect example of the struggles of living a religiously observant life in a secular world. She said God forgave her and so how could she not forgive? She is responsible for being kosher and said the blame was hers for not checking to see if the meat was in fact kosher. She was gracious, where I was offended and heartbroken. She is the kind of Jew I strive to be, and often fall short of.
Chanel believes in forgiveness and wants to be the best person she can be, which makes her the best Jew she can be. She has been raised to leave the world in better shape than when she arrived, and credits her parents for loving her with an open mind. She lives at home at 28, but she works, supports herself, and considers being home a blessing. She is also quick to defend the show and the unappealing friends that share the spotlight.
Chanel told me the girls are funny and we need to keep watching to really see who they are. I will continue to watch and blog because I just can’t let this one go, but also because I think there are lessons to be learned from this girl, and I hope Bravo allows them to shine through. If Bravo manages to turn this girl into a caricature of a spoiled Jewish princess I will be sad. By sad of course I mean totally pissed off. Bravo needs to cut Jews a break.
I asked Chanel to give me three words to describe herself and she chose funny, soulful, and down to earth. I would use authentic, beautiful, and gracious. She is open to teaching and learning. She is modest, kind, funny, smart, and honest. To her parents, I would say you have raised a wonderful young woman. I am so proud to have her represent our faith, and my fingers are crossed this show does not show her in a different light. Bravo to you both.
I will be back tonight to blog Princesses Long Island and I can tell you it is not going to be pretty. Chanel thinks if we can stick it out we will learn a lot and perhaps be surprised that in the end we like them all. I find that to be highly unlikely, but bless Chanel for being so sweet. I cannot recommend you watch this show, but I can tell you Chanel is worth your time. In a sea of unappealing Jewish freaks, Chanel Omari is brilliant at keeping it real.
June 5, 2013 | 10:32 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I am happy to be the very first person to share with you all that the lawsuit LeAnn Rimes filed against Kim and Lexi Smiley has been thrown out, and LeAnn has 20 days to re-file should she want to continue with the case. I hope someone who truly cares about Ms. Rimes will advise her to save her money and walk away, as no good will come from re-filing.
While it is far from over, this is a huge victory for the Smiley family. Kim and Lexi have been gracious, kind, loving, and united during the nightmare of this situation. I have spoken with them, donated to their legal fund, followed them on Twitter, and have gained admiration for them as women, and respect for the countless strangers who support them.
I have written about LeAnn Rimes and this lawsuit a lot in recent weeks and I know LeAnn reads my blogs. She occasionally talks about them, and me, on Twitter, and I know she will see this, so please allow me to address her directly.
I think you are a beautiful singer and while I will not buy your new record, I crank up your old ones when they come on my radio and sing along. Your entire life has led to this moment and how you move forward from here will define who you are as an adult. You can choose to be kind and decent, which will change the legacy you are creating for yourself.
There will always be haters, and people who will not forget or forgive the path you took to reach love, but I can speak for myself when I tell you I will change my opinion. I will respect your choice to stop the madness, and ultimately respect you for putting your ego and pride away, making a conscious decision to be decent, and give peace to a family.
Nobody can say for certain whether you will win the case or not, and while I don't think you will win, what is certain, is continuing will financially devistate a family and that is not right. This remarkable family has dedicated themselves to helping special needs children and to put that in jeopardy because you are blessed financially, is mean spirited and selfish.
I am a woman of faith and I believe in God. My God does not judge, shun, or hold a grudge. My God forgives, embraces, and offers light down a better path. Instead of listening to your lawyer, who is laughing all the way to the bank, listen to your heart, your faith, your past, and the part of your self that is tired and ready to stop fighting a silly battle.
There are no guarantees in life, and most things are out of our control, but being kind is something we have complete power over. I am learning this lesson myself, and it is hard. I like a good battle, and I will always fight for my voice to be heard, but sometimes the most powerful change comes when we stop screaming to be heard, and instead listen quietly.
Human beings can be mean to each other. Women in particular can be vicious to each other. LeAnn, walking away from the lawsuit may not change anything in terms of how you are perceived, but as the Talmud teaches, when you save one life it is as if you saved the entire world, so stopping the case saves Kim Smiley, which saves her world.
You have 20 days to decide what what you want to do and I hope you do the right thing. It is time to stop telling us how great your life is, and start living a great life without this cloud hanging over your head. LeAnn, as a woman, a mother, and someone searching for her own great love, listen to me. Be brave, be strong, walk away, and keep the faith.