Posted by Ilana Angel
Married to Medicine was brilliant reality television. It was real in the way that a reality show can only be real in the first season. The show has been picked up for another season, so we will see who comes back. No matter who returns, it will never be as good as it was when we first met them. They will change who they are for the cameras and fame, so we’ll get more crap next time round. It will still be good, just not the same.
One of the stars was Dr. Simone Whitmore. I blogged about the show for the entire season and spoke with several of the women. They were all lovely, all had things to share, but Simone is truly one of my favorites. Not only as a reality personality, but as a person. We chat on Twitter, she reads my blog, and I think she, along with her husband and kids, are not only good television, but also good people.
Dr. Simone and I spoke this week and she is hilarious. I asked her what she thought of the women and she responded with “bitches are crazy”. It was not said with an ounce of meanness, only truth and laughter. She is a real woman, with a real job, real opinions, and no fear in sharing them. She appreciates that she is being judged as a representative for African American women, but she is only concerned with being herself.
Simone is a working mom who happens to be black, not just a black woman on television. Her goal when deciding to do a reality show was to be authentic. She knew everyone was going to show a bit of crazy, and wanted to be real and own hers. She loves her work, loves her husband, and loves her kids. She is dedicated to all and will not apologize for the love she has for her profession. The show is about moms and wives, not black moms and wives.
I asked Simone how things are with the women now that the season is over no shooting is happening, or even been confirmed, for next year. She said that after the fight everything changed and they are not a real group of friends. They all know each other of course, but they are not all friends and she wonders how that will play out on season two. She likes the women, and appreciates the gifts they bring, but is not friends with all of them.
Simone shared that she auditioned to part of the daytime talk show The Doctors 5 years ago, and when the opportunity for M2M came up, Cecil did not want her to do it. They have been married for 17 years and have a real partnership, so after discussions as a couple and family, they decided it would be fun. To hear her speak of her relationship with Cecil is sweet. She talks about him with respect and says he is the best father in the world.
Important to note that I have a crush on Cecil. I love how he loves his children and respects his wife. I love his fully stocked bar, and that he cooks. In the interest of full disclosure, I have shared my inappropriate feelings for her husband with Simone and have been invited to be a sister wife, if I am willing to do the laundry. I’m in. Having seen the bar, I will not only do the laundry, but I will vacuum because we all know I like to drink.
I asked Dr. Simone to tell me three words that best described her ad she chose witty, smart, and motivated. I would use funny, authentic, and straight. This woman answers questions quickly and with conviction. There is no need for her to think about a good answer would be, she simply gives her truth. She seems very loyal and trustworthy, which is odd for me to assess after a phone call, but that is the vibe she gives so I’m going to share it.
Simone and Jackie are good fiends. She met Mariah about 10 years ago and likes her. She thinks Kari constantly saying Americans don’t understand her sense of humor is bullshit and Kari is simply offensive. She thinks Toya is not malicious, just stupid and immature. She didn’t mention Quad, or I forgot to ask, but I love Quad and since Simone didn’t make a point of saying anything specific about her, I will assume Simone is cool with Quad.
Simone said she went into the reunion angry and had a little vodka to take the edge off. I love it that our favorite OBGYN loves herself some vodka. She felt Mariah took things too personally, and that she was not on team Toya. She was embarrassed by some of the behavior of her costars, but she understood how it got to the place it did, and is proud of how she conducted herself. She loved the experience and will do it again.
Simone is not on the show to compete against the other women. She loves her life and is there to share what her life is like, not rip apart anyone else. Dr. Simone is a role model to a lot of women and her race is irrelevant. She has a successful and loving marriage, an important and stressful job, two young sons, and juggles it all with grace, laughter and class. Maybe vodka helps, but with or without booze, Dr. Simone is keeping it real.
12.12.13 at 9:43 pm | I might be too intimidated to blog this show. . .
12.10.13 at 8:55 am | Carlton can stay, Joyce should go.
12.8.13 at 9:55 pm | Momma Joyce is all kinds of crazy.
12.7.13 at 8:49 am | What the hell is Bravo giving us?
12.7.13 at 7:29 am | I'm not going to lie, these women and the men. . .
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire.
12.12.13 at 9:43 pm | I might be too intimidated to blog this show. . . (1766)
10.13.13 at 6:35 pm | One minute in and I am already overwhelmed by the. . . (1648)
10.10.13 at 12:58 pm | One is trashy, one is classy. (1614)
July 7, 2013 | 6:25 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
* Typos brought to you by Merlot.
I love this show and it is still my favorite of the Housewives franchise. But it is so old and tired that I find it difficult to watch. Teresa is the only interesting one, and Jac needs to be fired. For real. She brings NOTHING to this show, uses her child as a storyline, and is making it very difficult to watch. We start this week with Jac’s whining voice at Kathy’s new kitchen.
Caroline, Jac and Rosie are all there to see the new kitchen, which is lame. Why would they care? Because they are scripted to care. Rosie is telling them about her meeting with Teresa, and is accurate in her recounting of their meeting. Rosie tells them all about the retreat and invites them to go to with Teresa and Joe to try and fix their fractured family.
Caroline does not want to go, Jac says she is not interested, but that is only because she has not realized it will result in camera time. Jac is a moron. Cut to Teresa’s, where her parents are coming over to make sausages. Everyone has on an apron but Gia hates it. Juicy asks why, Tre says it is because she is going through puberty, and Milania says Gia is having a baby.
For the love of God, give this woman and her kids their own show already. Milania Giudice is the funniest person on television. For real. Teresa’s parents arrive and it is sad to see her dad, knowing how sick he has been, but also lovely to see him, knowing how sick he has been. Teresa loves her parents and her brother, but she needs to get out of her own way.
In her one-on-one interviews she manages to always throw a jab, which I get, but she is preaching to the choir. We see what is happening, and her constantly pointing it out makes her look bad, and she is not the bad one. Cut to Joe, he is with Richie, who is the most revolting man on TV. He is a pig and Bravo should ban him from Twitter for being an ass.
Teresa calls Joe to invite him to the retreat to build trust. He takes the call, makes a cute joke about him wanting money for his dry cleaning, and tells her he will talk to his whore/wife, and see what her thoughts are. Joe tells Rich about it and instead of Rich supporting his friend, he is a complete dumbass. Joe wants to go because he loves her and wants to try.
I love Joe for wanting to go. I love Joe, and every time he has not come across well it is because of Melissa, not him. Back at Teresa’s she is telling Juicy about her meeting with Rosie and her desire to go on the retreat. Sidebar: The editing of this show sucks. It is obviously not in any order that makes sense. It pisses me off when Bravo thinks we are dumb.
Melissa is at a fake lunch with some of her “friends”. I question these friends because these chicks clearly don’t like her and are there to be on TV as they both had their hair done. Melissa tells them about her new book deal about her marriage. Oh. My. God. Who is going to read her crap fest? Melissa talks more about Teresa than the book. Melissa is a bitch.
She implies that Teresa is mentally not well, and even though she is not a doctor, she feels comfortable diagnosing her. Melissa is the root of all the evil on this show and hopefully Joe is starting t see it. She is pretty, but no bang is worth ripping your family apart and he needs to put his foot down and tell his whore/wife to shut the hell up and stop ruining his family.
Teresa calls Kathy to invite her to the retreat. Kathy says she is interested and who else should be invited. Teresa says she wants to fix things with her family, but Kathy brings up Caroline and Jac, which is ridiculous. This is about family. Jac hears the conversation, grabs the phone, and screams at Teresa. Teresa is not interested and Jac cannot control herself.
Kathy wants Jac to stop and tries to take the phone from Jac, but Jac is going on and on. Kathy then stops trying to get the phone and it is stupid. Teresa calls Jac a stalker and it is beyond being a stalker. Jac is mentally deficient, a horrible mother for using her children for fame and glory, and needs to be fired before she hurts herself or her family in a horrible way.
Jac is the Amanda Bynes of reality television and I am going to start fast-forwarding over any and all scenes with her. Cut to Teresa now out with her girlfriends and they are talking about Melissa. One of the girls from Melissa’s lunch is now out for drinks with Teresa. Oy vey. The friends from Mel’s lunch tell Tre and her friends that Melissa had an affair.
It happened years ago, Teresa does not care, and it is lame. Teresa is not interested in doing anything to make the situation worse, and I am on her side. Bravo appears to be looking through the gutter for storylines, which is dirty. It is also a waste of time. Recast the whole show, give Teresa her own show, and call it a day. There are more interesting women in Jersey.
Melissa and Kathy are at an exotic dance class with their husbands and I want to swallow glass. This scene is embarrassing. Rich is hideous, Kathy is a loser, Melissa is a whore, and Joe is darling. Enough. Cut to Albert and Caroline out for dinner. They have absolutely nothing to say to each other and the slow build up to the end of their marriage is boring already.
Melissa is having a brunch, and has invited everyone but Teresa. Jac has changed up her meds and apologizes to Kathy for being crazy the day before, then acts crazy again. Everyone is talking about Teresa. That is all they ever talk about. Everyone agrees to go but Jac, which makes sense because she was not invited. This show seriously pisses me off.
Melissa is out with Jennifer the real estate agent who tried to sell her house, and is friends with Teresa, having just been with her at drinks. She’s weird looking. Melissa lies about anyone being interested in their house, and is unsure about Jennifer. Jennifer tells Melissa about Jan telling them all about the affair. Jennifer is a bitch and threw Tre under the bus.
Teresa says she did not want to hear it, and Jen did not tell Melissa that. Jen blames Kim D. and Jan, and manages to also blame Teresa, which is the problem. Teresa is blamed for everything. Melissa is more pissed than shocked and does not cry, which is what someone who knew it was a lie would do. Cut to Melissa out for dinner with Jac and Kathy. The scripting is insane.
Melissa blames Teresa, Jac goes crazy again about Teresa, and Joe buys into the blame Teresa game. Kim D. shows up and it is stupid. I look forward to this show every week and every week I am left exhausted and disappointed. Melissa is lying, but Joe loves her, so who cares? Kim D. is evil, Jac needs to be in a hospital, and Kathy and Rich need to call it a day and get lost.
Jennifer is now out with Teresa again and this show seems to think it is freaking Dynasty, not a reality show about chicks in Jersey. Jen tells Teresa she is only seeing Melissa to get her house listing, but she already said the house is a pit, so she’s lying. Jen tells Tre she told Melissa about what Jan said, and Teresa sees that Jen is dangerous in the same way that Jac is.
I feel bad for Teresa. She is caught up in so many lies that are all being started by women wanting to be on television and achieve the fame and fortune she has. Reality fame screws people up, but this show is on another level. Next week we will be at the retreat, Joe and Juicy will kick the shit out of each other, and we will cringe at their inability to keep it real.
July 7, 2013 | 10:13 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I am often asked why I write about LeAnn Rimes so much, and the explanation is quite simple. She is fascinating. She is a woman who behaves badly, then does not seem to understand why people don’t like her. One could argue she is simply not that bright, and therefore unable to understand why people react the way they do to her madness. One could also argue she is mentally unstable, and that makes her unaware.
I think it is a mixture of both. She is uneducated, and having been used as a cash cow since childhood, living in a bubble surrounded by yes men is going to stunt your basic knowledge of how life works and what is decent behavior. Additionally, being so painfully insecure that you have to steal another woman’s husband, then spend your time trying to become that woman, would indicate there is some kind of mental instability.
LeAnn Rimes appears to be obsessed with Brandi Glanville. It’s understandable of course. Brandi was married to her husband, Brandi is taller, thinner, prettier. LeAnn’s latest album sold less than 12000 copies, while Brandi’s book sold over 200,000 copies. LeAnn’s husband has a type, that type is Brandi, and no matter how hard LeAnn tries, she will never be Brandi because at her core LeAnn is not a very nice girl.
The hardest thing for LeAnn must be that Brandi has given Eddie the one thing she has not, children. Brandi is the mother of Eddie’s children, and while I think Eddie is just as vile as LeAnn, he keeps quiet while she is shouting from the mountain. LeAnn wants us all to know that she is living the dream, her marriage is perfect, and her stepsons are at their happiest when they are on her tour bus. Well, here we go again people.
The happiest place on earth for those boys is with their mother, so unless that tour bus is parked on Brandi’s driveway and she is in the kitchen whipping up some eggs, that is not the happiest place on earth for those kids. For LeAnn to constantly post pictures of kids that are not hers, commenting about how happy they are, when they clearly do not look happy, is hurtful to the children, their mother, and mostly LeAnn.
LeAnn will never be able to recover from the damage she has done to her reputation. Her record sales prove that. Important to note that people cheat all the time and the issue with LeAnn is not that she had an affair or broke up a family. It happens. A lot. The issue is how she has handled it, how she continues to flaunt it, and how she uses the children to hurt a woman whose life she ripped apart. LeAnn lacks decency.
Listen, we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors and I am certain there is blame to be placed on all parties involved, but what we do know is what LeAnn tells us. Eddie is silent, Brandi reacts to what LeAnn puts out there, but LeAnn is the one setting the tone and sharing her insanity with the world. She gets mad people judge her without knowing her, yet she is the one who puts it out there to be judged. She is fascinating.
That this woman is still relevant is interesting. She pays a lot of money and spends a lot of time keeping her name in the news, so I guess it is working for her. I’m not sure why she continues to pay people to tweet for her, take her picture, and write about her, when all it does is make people hate her. Bless her. She may think it is a good thing, but time will show the mess she has created and she will have nobody to blame but herself.
Those kids will grow up and choose to not spend time with her, as opposed to having to now. Kids are smart, and there is a bond between mothers and sons that is magic. Those boys will be fine, Brandi will be fine, Eddie will move onto another whore, and LeAnn will be alone. That is how Karma works. Think what you want about Rimes, you must also feel sorry for her because nobody loves her enough to help her, only take her money.
LeAnn reads all my blogs, as does her attorney. They are not too thrilled with me and while she denies reading, she likes to tweet about my blogs and my tweets, and me. What she fails to understand is that I write about her because she asks me to. Everyone writes about her because she asks us to. The difference is that she pays others to write what she asks, and she sues those who speak unflattering of her. That’s how she rolls.
From her lawsuit against Kim Smiley, to the countless cease and desist letters and threatening phone calls her lawyer and publicist make to bloggers and tweeters, they work hard to get people to shut up. They even called Jonathan Jaxson and asked him to recall his book and remove mention of her. You have to laugh at how much money she spends, when the only result is people thinking she is crazier than they even imagined.
LeAnn’s posting of pics on the 4th of July of her step-kids, and declaration of their happiness, is what made me write this blog. Her tipping off of Radar Online with imagined stories is not even worth mentioning because those who follow her know what the truth is. I will continue to write about LeAnn for as long as she asks me to. What is the difference between me and everyone else writing about her? I’m keeping it real.
July 2, 2013 | 2:10 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
To tell you the truth, I had no idea who Jonathan Jaxson was until people started to write that I should interview him. I watch a lot of reality TV, and like to think I’m up to date on pop culture, but I am not much of a gossip person, and don’t read gossip magazines or tabloids. You are more likely to find me reading the bible than People, so I was not only unsure of who he was, but had no idea what his book was about, so I checked him out.
Jaxson is an interesting man, has led a fascinating life, and the truth is that the least interesting part of his story is the Hollywood portion. He has overcome adversity and pain in a powerful way. His stories are good, especially when it comes to LeAnn Rimes, but as a human being he is complex and I found myself caring about him as we spoke. He is a young man finding his way, and his gifts to the world will not be about celebrity.
We’ll circle back to LeAnn, but let’s first talk about Jonathan. At 17 he was the tour manager for The Backstreet Boys. My son is 17 and so I cannot wrap my head around him travelling the world on his own with a band. Jonathan came from humble beginnings and was raised by a mother who struggled to take of not only her children, but herself. It was a sad and lonely childhood where escape was achieved through television.
Jonathan’s mother was abused by men, in front of her children, and also did drugs in front of her kids. It resulted in scars on his heart, but also stopped him from drinking or doing drugs himself. He has never used drugs, does not drink, and has an unwavering support and love for his mother. To hear him speak of her, knowing what his childhood was like, is a testament to who he is a human being, and that at her core, her heart was good.
As a single mother myself, I often wonder what my son will think when he looks back on his childhood. I do the best I can, and there are days when I know it is not enough, and other times when I wonder if he appreciates the sacrifices that have been made. In hearing Jonathan reflect on his childhood, and speak of wanting to take care of his mother now, I am reminded of the remarkable love between a mother and her son.
Jonathan’s book talks of the struggles he faced, and he went back and forth with his mother about what to include. In the end he felt that if his story could help one person find their way, he would share it all. He is honest, raw, uncensored, and aware when he speaks of his life. He is a man of faith who is trying to start over, make a fresh start, accept his past, and embrace his history, all while dealing with the demons that come with anxiety.
Jonathan referred to me as Ma’am several times during our chat. He is soft spoken and kind. He spoke of wanting to be a dad, how proud of his family he is, and how proud he is to be a successful gay man. When he talks about himself he is brave, but when he talks of his life as a publicist, there is almost disbelief at the life that he led, and the things he did. There is a very dark side to the world of celebrity publicity and he has seen it and lived it.
He is unapologetic for what he did because it was his job, but there are certainly things he sees differently now that he is out of that world. One of the biggest changes of opinion is in terms of LeAnn Rimes. I write about LeAnn a lot, and that is why so many of my readers wanted me to speak with Jonathan. He speaks of her very briefly in his book, but we actually spoke of her quite a bit. I don’t like LeAnn Rimes.
I think she is spiteful, mean, and frankly quite stupid. I write about her often because I am confused by the fact that nobody else wants to write about the truly horrible things that she does. She is a spoiled woman who buys her fame, buys her press, and feels no remorse or guilt for her unstable behavior. This woman is mentally unstable and there were things Jaxson said that assured me my opinions are justified.
LeAnn Rimes has changed a lot since Jaxson met her. It is all hearsay of course as I have never met her, but Jaxson and I spoke of Rimes having a drinking problem, and a laxative addiction. She is also manipulated by her douchebag husband, and I find myself feeling sorry for her. As women we often change who we are for the men we love. We’ve all done it. The difference is that we are not all whores who steal our men.
LeAnn spoke a lot of crap about Brandi Glanville to Jonathan and he actually feels bad that he bought into so many of the things he was told. LeAnn is obsessed with Brandi, and the truth is that Eddie is no angel here. He encourages her to look like Brandi. From the fake boobs, to the weight loss, to the clothes, Eddie has a type and that type is Brandi, so if LeAnn wants Eddie, she needs to be Brandi. It is all very sad.
Jaxson said he’d like to apologize to Brandi, which while lovely, does not matter. People are going think what they want about him, and there is a perception that he is a liar and not to be trusted. It was his job to lie, and the only people who needed to trust him were his clients, so time will turn that around. I don’t know Jonathan, have not yet read his book, spoke to him with no agenda or expectations, and I liked him.
This is a wounded but brave man who had enough of the life he was living, is taking all the lessons of his crazy public life, and learning from them. He is a master at publicity and to have achieved what he did, at the level and speed in which he did, is impressive. He got screwed over by a lot of people who value fame over decency, but that is the nature of the beast and it is what he does now what will be the legacy he leaves of himself.
I asked Jonathan to describe himself in three words or phrases and he chose enjoying life, loving people, and not needing attention. I asked how he would have described himself when he was a publicist, and he chose fame hungry, money hungry, and careful. He’s come a long way and it will be interesting to see what he does with the next phase of his life. He is essentially starting over at 30, which is scary, but a blessing.
Jonathan Jaxson is very interesting and I look forward to reading his book. LeAnn Rimes is an idiot and I will never read her book, which she will never write because I think she may be illiterate. Some will say I am too harsh on Ms. Rimes, and others will say I am being sucked in by Mr. Jaxson. Who cares? At the end of the day this blog is my truth and I really liked him. Think what you want, Jonathan Jaxson is tryng to keep it real.
Learn about Jonathan's book: Don't You Know Who I Am Yet? at www.dontyouknowwhoiamyet.com
July 1, 2013 | 7:15 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
After the useless 100th episode special of last week, we are back with the ladies of Orange County. I want to start by saying that I think Gretchen is a slut bag, incapable of real relationships because she is a moron. Okay. That felt good. We start with Tamra who is at the gym having dinner with Eddie. Her top lip makes her look like she is confused and constipated.
They are gossiping about the girls, which is stupid. Five minutes of Eddie and Tamra talking about nothing is lame. Over to Heather, she is doing another sitcom. Blah, blah, blah. I am happy she is getting her sense of self back, just don’t want to hear about it so much. It is wedding dress shopping day and everyone is going, including Lauri, who is a whore.
The ladies are talking about what a loser Slade is. Lydia is fun and quirky. A true Canadian in that she speaks her mind is not afraid to have an opinion. Love her and her mom, and would like them to get a show away from the hags. I would like to take a moment to say we are 15 minutes in and nothing of has happened. 15 minutes. Nothing. Ridiculous.
Heather and Alexis are at the wedding dress shop. Tamra and the ladies arrive, and now the fun begins. By fun of course I mean bullshit. Everyone is looking for dresses for Tamra, but Gretchen who is off on her own being a baby. She will stop at nothing to make the day about her. The whole thing is stupid because there is no wedding even planned.
Alexis is stunning and her body is ridiculous. I think she is a moron, but Dear Lord the girl is pretty. She then has the best line ever. “I wish Gretchen could eat some of her makeup so she can be pretty on the inside.” Freaking awesome. I can’t stand Gretchen, think she should get canned, and am certain she is mentally deficient on some level.
Vicki tells the girls she broke up with Brooks and they are completely done. Lauri pipes in and I am fascinated by her face. It does not move, her nose appears to be sunken in, and she is hideous. Lauri tells Vicki that her daughter’s hooker friend is banging Brooks. Vicki is getting stressed. Lauri is being a horrible person and breaking all girl codes.
It was the wrong place, wrong time, and done with malicious intent. Tamra finds the dress, Gretchen leaves, and Vicki starts to cry because the only man she has ever really loved, is taking his new teeth and her money, to bang young girls. Oh yes, life in Orange Country is grand. These chicks have been around the longest, look the most ragged, and need to go.
Heather calls out Lauri for telling Vicki something she did not need to know, then tells the girls about the sitcom, and Lydia says Heather went from being fancy pants, to fancy outfit. Lydia is hilarious. If you take my personal commentary out of this blog, I pretty much wrote nothing about the episode, because nothing interesting happened.
It might be time for me to walk away from RHOC. Next week they will be in Canada so of course I will watch. Vicki will call out Lauri, who is a slut bag whore, so that might be fun. RHOC is a waste of time. They offer nothing. I might pass on them and take on the women of Miami instead. I am not a fan, but maybe Miami will keep it real.
July 1, 2013 | 12:02 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
*Typos brought to you by Jose Cuervo. Don't judge.
Oy Dear! These chicks get more annoying with each week. I see the humor in them, and there are truly charming moments, but the heavy handed Jewishness bugs the crap out of me. Anyone can throw around some Yiddish and read an old Jewish proverb given to them by a producer, but that does not make you a Jew. I am not judging their level of faith because who cares? I am judging their constant Jewish references when there is nothing Jewish about the life they lead, other than stereotypes.
We start this week with Amanda taking Chanel out for some dancing. They are supposed to go with Erica, but Erica is bailing because she is either drunk, or sleeping with a stranger in some public bathroom. Chanel is dancing up a storm and having a wonderful time. Chanel is fun, Amanda is sweet, once you get past the voice, and once again we see them picking up men who mock our faith. Amanda asks a man if he’s up for a Shabbat dinner, and he replies “Shabbaz dinner?” It makes me sad things like this are shown.
Erica is meeting with Rob, who is annoyed with her. She denies that she made out with a stranger in the bathroom last week. Liar. She makes a constipated face, which is weird, and she is constantly telling us how pretty she is, but I don’t get it. She is cute, but I think in terms of her popularity, slutty trumps pretty. Her boyfriend is very sweet and he needs to dump her ass because she has already dumped him. She is a cheater, and a slut, and he should date Chanel instead. Erica is a pig, and Rob is clueless.
Chanel is having everyone over for breakfast, except for Erica. Good thing she is not there because Erica is all these chicks have to talk about and it is easier if she is not with them. Chanel is darling, but a huge gossip. Ashley is offensive, but also cute. Amanda is most interesting when she is with her boyfriend, Joey is a mean girl, while Casey might be the most uptight chick on reality TV. She needs some serious therapy and a good schtuping. The girl is wound up so tight I want to slap her loose. For real.
Casey and Chanel are planning an intervention for Erica. Casey? The girl who hates Erica, and she says she is doing it for Chanel. Really? Casey does not get it. There is simply explanation for her going, and Chanel is insane for thinking it was a good idea. Not only is it a bad idea, it makes no sense, and actually hurtful to Erica. Even slutty whores need compassion and for Chanel to take Casey is just rude. I seriously hate this show, but will watch it and write about it, if only to tell people it is complete crap.
Amanda is starting a company that makes a drink cover. For the love of God. It is the dumbest thing I have ever seen. Amanda’s mom Babs joins them and suggests that they make the covers for dildos too. I want to scratch my own eyes out. Cut to Joey who has also come up with an invention. It is lip-gloss and breath drops in one. Cute idea and I would buy it, at the dollar store. Every time one of these women speaks, we are reminded that they are really simple. How do they function in society when they're so simple?
Joey says her product is for the “independament” woman. Dear Lord. Cut to Ashlee and Casey who have gone shopping for shoes. Casey loves Ashlee. Ashlee loves Casey. I want to pluck out my eyelashes one by one to numb my eyes from this crap. They are talking about Erica, which is lame. Ashlee calls her dad to let him know she is spending $5300 on shoes. Really? God Bless her for having the life she does, but she will never meet a man once he sees her on this show. She is just too much to take on for a sane man.
Amanda is doing a photo shoot for her product. I just can’t. We are skipping over this part. Cut to Ashlee who is on a date with a cute Italian. She can handle a man who is not Jewish, as long as there is no Jesus paraphernalia. This made me laugh out loud. She is a princess in the most unflattering way, but in the end she is also harmless, oddly fabulous, and is showing a side of her that is more entertaining than offensive, which is a surprise. I don’t think Casey will ever get there, but good on Ashlee for making it.
Important to note that I am quite vocal about how I feel about this show, and these women, on both my blog and Twitter. The people who take the time to tell me I am rude, unprofessional, and jealous, are mostly not Jewish. Casey retweets every single thing people say about her, assuming it is a compliment, too silly to realize people are not only making fun of her, but also being anti-Semitic on occasion. Life has got to be hard when you are that unaware. She can’t even discern a compliment from a slam.
Joey is out with her Dad, who is giving her sound advice, and she is crying and getting upset. She does not understand why her father does not believe her trying to sell lip gloss is more valuable than a college degree. I just can’t. These girls are too much. She is so bitter that her dad is not wealthy, that she cannot listen objectively to his questions or advise. She judges the other girls for having money, but does not mention how bitter she is that she does not have any. Joey reminds me of Bethenny.
It is time for the big intervention. Oy Dear! Casey and Chanel are making no sense. Chanel says drunk Erica could get attacked by a “ghetto” guy, which is ignorant. Erica calls the visit “interventioning her”, and Casey is unable to hide her disgust for Erica through her “words of wisdom”. Chanel and Casey leave, having accomplished nothing. Erica talks to her mom about it and they both decide to blow it off. This show is painful and I am killing time waiting for Ashlee to make the “help me” call. These chicks suck at keeping it real
June 30, 2013 | 6:21 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
*Typos are brought to you courtesy of Captain Morgan. Don't judge.
This week in hell starts at Melissa’s house, where she is talking to Antonia about her book. She fake cries and I am over it. She is full of crap and we all see it. Cut to Joe getting home from his confrontation with Teresa at the gym. This is obviously scripted, but whatever. Joe is telling Melissa about the fight, while Antonia is listening at the door. Shame on Bravo.
Melissa thinks Joe has seen the Teresa she sees, but Joe clarifies that Melissa needs to stop picking fights with Teresa on Twitter. Melissa tries to cause problems for Joe and Teresa, and Joe mans up and tells Melissa to stop. I love Joe Gorga at this moment. We have been waiting years for him to take Teresa’s side and see that Melissa is wedging them apart.
Cut to Teresa and Juicy at soccer practice with the kids. Teresa tells Juicy about the fight, and again, it is all scripted. Juicy says Joe has a Napoleon complex and I am laughing. Laughing because it is funny, and also because Juicy knows who Napoleon is. Teresa looks like a Muppet in her blue coat, Juicy is hilarious, and their kids are perfect television. I love them.
Sidebar: I will get emails asking me how it is that I can be on Teresa’s “side” and like Juicy when he is so horrible to her, and to those people I say grow up. This is a reality television show and we see what they want us to see. We don’t know these people, it is not reality, and I pick sides because even though it’s my job, I care more about keeping it real than keeping it nice.
Cut to Caroline, Jac, Rosie and Kathy going to some beauty party for a store that appears to be in direct competition to Lauren’s shop. Whatever. Jac is a plastic mess and she looks horrible. Caroline gets a call from Teresa and I want to say something I never thought I would say. Are you sitting down? I like Caroline. For the first time in years of this crapfest, I like her.
She is getting back to who she was, which is great. Now, it is all fake and a feeble attempt to help her sell books, but I like her and don’t care what her motives are, she is behaving properly. Teresa calls to tell her about the fight with Joe, and Caroline handles it appropriately. She then tells the cackling hens and I am right back to thinking she is a snake. Oh well.
Rosie says she feels bad about all the fighting in her family, but she is the one that flies off the handle all the time. Rosie used to be fun, now she is just angry, and angry is not cute. Over to Kathy, she is talking about her cannoli company. For the love of God. Who cares? Leave the gun and take the cannoli? No. Leave the cannoli and shoot yourself with the gun.
Rich and Kathy are talking about her company and he essentially calls her a moron. I feel bad for Kathy that she is humiliated by her husband in such a public way. I think she is inherently kid, in a marriage that is not satisfying her, and staying with a complete asshole because she is scared to go out on her own. Rich is a pig and we all know it, including Kathy, which is sad.
Caroline is at her Hoboken apartment with her kids. Why are we forced to watch these kids and listen to them talking crap? They are trying to justify their parent’s marriage and it is sad. Caroline and Albert don’t have a good marriage as far as I can tell. Christopher is an idiot, Albie is in the closet, Lauren is a moron, and there is nothing interesting about these kids.
Rosie and Joe are out for a drink and she says she has not had sex for six years. Really? Is that really something you want to share on national television? Now we know why she is on edge all the time. Joe is tormented, Rosie is doing the right thing, and I am pissed off that Bravo is giving us another dark season when we have hung on for so long. It is not fair.
Jac is working with Nicolas and it is heartbreaking. Why she would want to show this makes no sense to me. This precious little boy should be given the respect of privacy. This stupid bitch is using him for sympathy and attention and as a mother I find it heartbreaking and shameful. I am no longer going to write about Jac when she uses her son in this selfish way.
Al is with Caroline and clearly annoyed to be with her. Christopher and Albie are visiting Lauren at her store. Dear Lord. These kids are a mess and I resent having them shoved down my throat. This family has nothing to talk about with each other, so why do we have to watch them? It is awkward and almost creepy. Speaking of which, we flip back to Rich and Kathy.
Rich rents Kathy a kitchen and she is not happy. There is so much tension in their marriage that she cannot be happy. This marriage is falling apart and that is sad, as it always is when reality TV rips people apart. Over with Teresa, she is writing her blog, which nobody thinks she does, and she gets a call from Rosie, inviting her for a drink. Such bullshit. Poor Teresa.
Melissa and her hag, I mean sister, are with her mom and aunt, telling them that she is going to write about the fact that her dad was a cheater. So gross. The man is dead and that they are throwing him under the bus for a dollar is disgusting, We leave the skank and her family to go over to Rich and Kathy. Dear Lord, he is such a pig. I just can’t stand to watch them.
Rich is telling Kathy he is the reason she is building her business, and she says he does not value to opinion. To do this on camera, for her kids to see is sad. He makes jokes, she is crying, and I don’t care. Cut to Rosie and Tre having a drink. Teresa is calm, Rosie is drunk and belligerent. Again. This is embarrassing, not entertaining, and I am rolling my eyes that we watch.
In the end Rosie and Teresa find a calm place and we are reminded that Rosie is really wonderful, and Teresa is trying. We are pulling for them, which is weird because we should walk away and not care. No matter what side you are on, this show feels like family and we watch because we want peace. If only they could do what we do, which is keep it real.
June 27, 2013 | 7:42 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
LeAnn Rimes is suing Kim Smiley and her daughter for taping a phone conversation, which is against the law in California. The truth is that a lot of people don’t know about the lawsuit because LeAnn won’t talk about it, and did not do any interviews where it was allowed to be discussed. Radar Online has mentioned it a few times, under the banner of an “exclusive”, but they are driven by gossip, and while they have contacted me to see what I know, they have not written on the subject with any level of fairness.
Twenty days ago the case was submitted to the court, the judge threw the case out as it was presented, and gave LeAnn and her attorney 20 days to re-file the corrected paperwork. That twenty day mark has now come and gone. I understand that an extension of some kind has been filed, and that Ms. Rimes is continuing with the lawsuit. Bless her. One really must wonder how it is that this woman has so much time on her hands that she can devote her time, money and energy to hurting a complete stranger.
LeAnn has no job, and no kids. She does not appear to spend time shopping for stylish clothes, or seem particularly focused on taking care of her hair, so I guess it makes sense that she has a lot of time on her hands. Darrell Brown is her producer, who once wrote that my blogs about LeAnn treated her in the same way Jews were treated during the Holocaust. I laugh every time I think about the comparison. Darrell Brown is a strange man on a regular day, but this week he has taken on a whole new crazy.
On Monday I tweeted that the epic failure of LeAnn’s album Spitfire was interesting because while the girl can sing, it failed because of who she is as a person, not a singer. Within hours of that tweet, I started to get messages from my followers that they were being contacted and threatened by Darrell Brown. Apparently you are not allowed to say anything bad about the failure of the record, or he will sue you. LeAnn and Darrell really like to sue people I guess, because I heard from a lot of people.
The fact is that Spitfire has sold less than 12K copies. LeAnn did a huge media push, appearing anywhere and everywhere, and they still could not sell it. People are not buying the record because they don’t like LeAnn Rimes as a human being. Her behavior is offensive to women. She is a woman who cheated on her husband, slept with a married man, and blurs all lines of decency when it comes to being a stepparent. LeAnn Rimes is simply unappealing, and her lawsuit against Kim makes it even worse.
Nobody knows or cares who Darrell Brown is, yet he thinks we do. He is now threatening people with lawsuits for simply having an opinion. It is fascinating to me that people pay him any attention, but I understand that they are scared. When you are simply hanging out on social media, sharing your opinions and having fun, then get a letter that is legal and intimidating, and you are just a regular person, it is going to freak you out. I was certainly freaked out the first time LeAnn and Darrell wrote me.
My fear quickly turned to disbelief, and has now settled into a place where I laugh at it. LeAnn Rimes and Darrell Brown are bullies who are trying to intimidate people. It is sad, stupid, and pisses me off that nobody wants to talk about it. Every media outlet talks about how Spitfire is so critically acclaimed, but nobody talks about the fact that nobody bought it, and a month after it came out, it is in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart. Why is everyone afraid to speak the truth?
Why is it okay for Darrell Brown and LeAnn Rimes to scare people? Why is she spending hundreds of thousands of dollars suing a special education teacher and her daughter, when she could do repair to her soul and reputation by spending the money on rebuilding a school in Oklahoma? Or fighting for the rights of women in Texas? What is wrong with these people that they can be so clueless as to what is really important? LeAnn and Darrell are twisted and they need to stop.
I feel sad for the people getting contacted by Darrell. I feel sad for the people being attacked by LeAnn. I feel bad for Kim Smiley and her daughter that they are continuing to deal with the nightmare of a lawsuit. I feel blessed to work for a website that allows my voice to be heard and is not intimidated by people trying to scare with the law. It is time for Darrell and LeAnn to get a grip on reality and understand that what they are doing hurts many, especially the two of them.
Spitfire tanked. It is a fact, and no matter how many legal letters you send out to say it did not, it did. LeAnn has a PR problem. It is a fact, and no matter how many legal letters you send out to say she does not, she does. I am a writer, and this is America, so I am going to continue to share my opinion, and I will be supported by not only my employer, but my government. No matter how many legal letters they send, that won’t change. LeAnn and Darrell need to grow up, move on, and start keeping it real.