Posted by Ilana Angel
It was announced today that Bethenny Frankel’s shelved talk show is back on. Fox released a statement saying it has purchased a six week preview. This comes after Telepictures, who was a potential distributor, backed out last year because Bethenny did not test well. She was too “aggressive” to the audience and it was determined the show would not work.
Bethenny, who will produce the show along with Ellen DeGeneres, apparently went for some “nice training” and the show was tweaked to include her new personality. Bethenny has enough money that she could in fact afford to buy a new personality, but it won’t matter because at the end of the day, she is a lying manipulator and not everyone buys into her crapfest.
How this chick managed to fool so many people is fascinating to me. God bless her for being able to manipulate herself into fame and fortune. She is successful and so good for her. Of course the word successful is subjective. There is nothing enviable about this woman to me and I know the day is coming when I will sit back and say, “Told ya so!”
The news of her talk show was interesting but not shocking. What is shocking is the commercial Bravo has running for the season premier of her show Bethenny Ever After. In the trailer we learn that Bethenny is still a shrill bitch to her husband, who has cobwebs on his genitalia, and she is continuing to lie about her near death sailing trip last summer.
I spoke exclusively with Tim Russell who was the gentleman who went to “rescue” Bethenny and he confirmed that the GPS on their boat was not broken, yet in the commercial for the new season of her crapfest, Bethenny is told by the boat captain, who also happens to be her therapist, that the GPS is not working. It is a flat out lie. The GPS was working.
Bethenny was not lost at sea and she knows it. The fact that she slapped a gag order on Tim Russell after I wrote the story of our conversation, speaks volumes. The poor guy probably signed a television release without reading it, and they screwed him into not being about to tell the truth. The thing is, he told me the truth before the gag order went into effect.
I have spoken to many people who know Bethenny, and even had the honor of meeting her dad a couple of times, and I feel sad for her that she has painted herself into such a tight corner. There are a lot of bodies along her path to the top and eventually her life will start to unravel. Her lying about the ingredients in her bottled cow pee is just the beginning.
I used to think Bethenny was funny, and a much needed person on reality television. Over the years however she has become more and more unappealing. Her treatment of her husband and his parents is offensive. Her constant lying is ridiculous. Her preaching the benefits of Skinnygirl when she is clearly not healthy, is disturbing. She is a hot mess..
Her friends are all on her payroll and you’d be hard pressed to find anyone that is willing to talk smack about her. The only thing that makes sense is that Bethenny has a file full of gag orders because in addition to looking skeletal, she has a lot of skeletons in her closet and at some point they are all going to come out and she will not be able to hide them anymore.
This blog will get lots of hate mail from women who seem to think Bethenny is an expert on having it all and to them I say she is not. She’s just a girl who lied and slept her way to the top, using all the privileges of her father’s fame and fortune to get what she wanted, then waited for him to die to start airing her dirty laundry so he could not defend himself.
I realize that I sound angry, and somehow invested more than I should be, but it pisses me off that this woman is selling a bunch of lies. It’s a shame because rather than being entertaining, funny, vulnerable and compelling like she was when we met her, she is now spinning out of control and losing fans. Just because people watch her does not mean they like her.
I will be watching her new season. Not because I’m a fan, but rather because I cannot turn away from the train wreck. I am going to make note of all her lies, and I will probably blog about it because that is what I do. I blog about reality television so I will write, and in doing so be a voice to those she has silenced. That dear Bethenny, is keeping it real.
5.23.13 at 4:21 pm | Bravo is feeding us meth instead of helping us. . .
5.20.13 at 8:46 am | This finale was anticlimactic and simply a trip. . .
5.16.13 at 2:13 pm | This show is like meth and you can't just walk. . .
5.14.13 at 6:18 pm | Bravo needs to cut Trashy Toya loose.
5.11.13 at 8:38 am | Life must be exhausting when you are LeAnn Rimes.
5.6.13 at 7:44 am | These women are crazy, but insanely entertaining.
5.16.13 at 2:13 pm | This show is like meth and you can't just walk. . . (9478)
5.5.13 at 5:39 pm | I am proud of Mariah and like her on and off the. . . (4549)
5.20.13 at 8:46 am | This finale was anticlimactic and simply a trip. . . (3555)
January 24, 2012 | 1:08 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
As I began to write this blog I got a Tweet saying the Bachelor was having the highest ratings ever. One might be surprised to learn this since the show is a crapfest, but I have a theory. We all drink wine in order to watch, because wine makes it funny. By hour 2 we are sloshed, can’t be bothered to change the channel, and therefore ratings are high. I bet if you did a survey, you’d see alcoholism was up too.
We start his week by leaving San Francisco and heading to Park City. Remember when they took us to exotic locations? Utah? Chris Harrison is there, doing nothing, and we off with Rachel getting the first date. Her last relationship ended because she is a bad communicator so I’m not sure why she thought this would work for her. She is beautiful but her lack of communication makes her seem really dumb.
Kacie B is really sweet and I like her, but I must say the crying has got to stop. She has known him for five minutes and had one date, so while it’s awfully cute she think she is in love, she has seen how this show works and her constant whining about how hard this is, is getting on my last nerve. With 13 girls left, and more than one with a shot, she needs to pace her emotional breakdowns better.
Ben comes to pick up Rachel and once again we have to watch Kacie B cry. If this is going to happen for the entire two hours it will be rough. By rough of course I mean it will require extra wine. Rachel and Ben go on a helicopter ride to a remote and romantic location. They have a picnic by a lake, and go out in a canoe. I don’t care how beautiful the scenery is, I’m not going out on a canoe if it means I am going to be swarmed by bugs.
They are on the water, kissing, and there are a million bugs flying around. Are they going in their mouths? Up their noses? It is not romantic. It is disgusting. He has barely said anything to her in the entire time he’s known her but they are kissing. This show is like Spring Break in Daytona Beach, circa 1984. Lot’s of making out wit people you don’t know, and will not remember the next day. Rachel is sweet, but I’m not digging her.
Their conversation is painful. They have nothing to talk about and she is sitting there like a mannequin. The silence is giving me an opportunity to really look at his hair and seriously, get a haircut Ben. You look dirty. It’s time for dinner, while over at the house its group date time. Courtney is pissing off everyone and daggers are being thrown. The girls are not feeling the model. Model? There are other girls there who are much prettier.
Rachel is insecure and unable to share her emotions. I want to shake her and tell her to talk. If you have to choose between being that pretty and dumb, or not so pretty but really articulate, which would you choose? This chick is annoying and I cannot believe that he gave her a rose. They have no chemistry, nothing to talk about, and it’s not going to happen for her. She’s cute, but socially awkward and stunted. Don’t get the rose.
The group date is going to be fly-fishing. Really? These dates blow and the women acting excited is fake. No chick wants to go fly-fishing on a date. Of course if it were George Clooney asking I would go, but my George would never be lame enough to make this a date. The girls scream and giggle at everything Ben says and it’s starting to bug me. How sad to be so desperate. These chicks have no self-respect.
Courtney is babbling and making weird shapes with her mouth, Kacie B. is whining, Ben says he loves to spend time with Courtney but does not know why. Really? It’s because she is a whore and you are a man. You are attracted to her scent, because she is wearing the scent of a whore. Between Courtney speaking in clichés, Kacie B. whining, and Lindzi really needing to brush her hair, I’m totally over this date.
It’s drinks and hot tub time for the group date. Ben takes Kacie S. for a chat and I’m not seeing a connection there. Nicki makes a move and interrupts him and Kacie S. to get in some alone time. She reminds me of Katie Holmes and talks out of the side of her mouth. I’m not digging her, don’t think Ben is digging her, yet he kisses her. The group kissing is weird. Then Samantha makes her move and interrupts.
Samantha wants to know why she is going on group dates, and while she is falling for him, he’s not into her. He tells her she is too emotional and that he cannot tell if she is taking it seriously. He then sends her home. I feel bad for her because she really did not see it coming. He dumps her ass. She is giggling and clearly confused and looks like she is about to pee her pants. It’s sad, and by sad of course I mean hilarious.
Samantha is crying and tells us her heart is broken because she will miss him so much. Really? Courtney is trashing her and I want to slap the really ugly smirk right off her oddly shaped face. Kacie B goes off to chat with Ben and even with the whining, I like her. She is so cute and I think really sincere. As sincere as one can be when selling their soul to the dating devil, but still sincere. I predict she will be one of the final two.
Courtney is now with Ben and she is talking in a little kid voice, which is just too much for me. I cannot stand this girl. She talks like a girl in a chick flick, only she is a whore, not the girl next door that you route for to get the guy. She is whining and complaining and telling Ben some crap filled story about how she is losing sight of the big picture and she does not want to share him. He gives her a rose which proves what an idiot he is.
How did he fall for her pathetic lies? She is not that pretty! She gets the rose and keeps saying “winning”. Really? That was cute a million years ago, and even when it was cute, her using it is not cute. Not even Charlie Sheen would give a rose to this chick. Winning my ass. She is a loser and I want her to make an epic mistake and get sent home. Kacie B. is whining again while she shoots daggers at Courtney.
Jennifer gets the next solo date. She is a favorite of mine although her hair color needs a touch up. Taping is not that long on this show so I’m not sure why she didn’t do her color the day before she left. If the color is natural, then wow. Sorry. They are going to drop into a crater by a rope for their date. Seriously? Who is the moron that is coming up with these dates? This is not sexy, just stupid.
Jennifer is not into this date, but she is doing it. Ben says they need trust and let me tell you Ben, a chick you don’t know jumping into a crater with you is no indication of what your relationship will be. Please stop being such a loser Ben. I like you and really want this to work for you, but if you are going to keep saying ridiculous things I might have to change my mind. Man up dude and stop with the relationship projections.
Jennifer is falling in love with Ben and after the date she hated, and getting caught in the rain, she says it’s the best night of her life. Really? I like her but she is silly. By silly of course I mean predictable. She’s going to get her heart broken. Then she pisses me off by saying she is grateful Ben put the date together for her. Here’s the thing, Ben had nothing to do with the planning of the date. He is a wine salesman. This is television.
It’s time for the cocktail party. We have 13 women and 12 roses, so with Jennifer, Courtney and Rachel safe, one girl will be sent home. 2 hours is a long time to sit though for only one chick to get the boot. They owed us one more if you ask me. Emily is talking to Ben and telling him Courtney is a loon, but he’s not having it. She wastes her time with him by bitching about someone else, and her attempt to help him blows up in her face.
Emily is talking about her epic mistake to Casey S. who is friends with Courtney, so we have epic fail number two. Casey S. runs to Courtney and tells her everything that Emily said. Courtney’s response to hearing the news is that she wants to rip Emily’s head of, verbally assault her, and shave her eyebrows off. Perhaps the psychologist who checks these chicks out to be on the show needs a little check up on herself.
Emily is still tripping about Courtney and Courtney calls her on it. Kacie B is trying to relieve the tension but it does not work. Emily denies that she said anything about Courtney, which is just lame and proves that she needs to go. She is high school drama and I’m over her. Ben won’t dump her though because then he’ll just look like a putz, but she’ll go next week for sure. Courtney just said winning three more times!
At the rose ceremony Emily is spared and Monica, the super cute lesbian is sent home. I hope she got some numbers. She cries in the car as if she will never love again, but never mentions Ben, so I think she was crying over Blakeley. Next week we go to Puerto Rico and the drama over Courtney gets stirred up again. I love and hate this show and need it to move along faster because I’m finding it hard to keep it real.
January 23, 2012 | 10:37 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
This day did not come soon enough. The season is over and I am thrilled. This was a painful show to watch for a lot of reasons. There was darkness and crap, with very little light or fun. Some of the best moments of the season were with Brandi and she was nowhere to be seen.
Before we talk about the most anticlimactic show ever, let me just say that I’m a little pissed off. I sat through an entire season of lies, bad editing, and ridiculously manipulated scenes, and as a thank you, Bravo wasted an hour of my time by ending with a long fizzle.
The show starts with wedding preparations for Pandora. Lisa is rather charming, and while she has been hit and miss for me all season, I find myself understanding her better and finding her to be rather entertaining. I’m happy for her and Ken and it’s nice to see the plans.
Important to note that while I love weddings, to spend an entire hour on a wedding is a waste of my time and an insult to my loyalty as a viewer. We don’t know Pandora that well so there is no vested interest in her. Again, it was nice to see, but it should have been a wedding special, not the finale.
Adrienne has gone with Paul to get him colonoscopy. She tells us she went to be supportive of her husband. Really? She has been horrible to him all season and now we are supposed to buy that she is the supportive wife? Are these chicks stupid, or do they just think we are all stupid?
In the waiting room they are bickering about how many procedures he’s had. Paul thinks it has been one. Adrienne says he has actually had four, and makes her point by holding up three fingers. Bravo to Paul for sharing his experience, but really Bravo? Are you high?
The only things that happened for the entire hour were the wedding colonoscopy and I cannot write about Paul passing gas, or Adrienne making fun of him. It was ridiculous, embarrassing, and not even worth writing about. I don’t think this will inspire people to get a colonoscopy.
Back to the wedding, do we need to spend 12 minutes watching them set up the tent? Are 8 shots of different people carrying flowers riveting television? Is watching all 6 pieces of the cake being carried in necessary? How did they manage to stretch nothing into an hour of television?
To insult us further, we are then asked to watch Kyle and Mauricio select wedding clothes for five minutes. I cannot mention Kyle and not add that I think she is self-centered, rude, mean, boring and selfish. This chick is straight up mean and her “friends” should watch their backs.
Camille invites a friend over to help her select her dress for the wedding, which is weird because she has already selected the dress. This is yet another waste of time to fill time. The friend came for nothing but to watch Camille put on make up and let us know she has started to date.
It’s now two minutes of make up artist jokes and I want to kill myself, which is odd because it’s usually Taylor who makes people want to die and we’ve not seen her. Too harsh? I feel bad for Lisa that their special day was used to manipulate an hour of television. Cheapens it a little.
Lisa is waiting for Pandora to come down and she sees her housekeeper who is all dressed up and she tells her to go up and borrow a pair of her heals if she wants. I’m not sure why, but I thought it was really sweet. What does it say about this hour that this was a great moment?
Lisa seeing Pandora was lovely and I started to cry. Her emotion was touching. Over at Adrienne’s everyone has gathered to go over to the wedding together. For some reason Camille is talking about converting to Judaism which was odd. I didn’t get where that came from.
Adrienne comes in and her hair makes me crazy. Can she not run a brush through her hair? She has never once had her hair look like anything but a birds nest and it’s annoying. From her belted shirts, shoulder pads, and hair, it is the 1980’s again and she is a hot, hot, hot mess.
It’s wedding time and yes it’s beautiful, but I’m over it. There is no Kim, Dana, or Brandi, just a whole lot of wedding. I love listening to Lisa talk about her kids and the wedding, but again, this could have been a wedding special with Lisa and Kevin, and should not have been the finale.
Lisa and Ken give speeches and they are beautiful. Lisa is a truly stunning woman and I like to look at her. The wedding is finally over and we are jumping ahead three weeks to Kyle’s house where she is having the girls over for a fake dinner so we think they all care about each other.
Kyle annoys me to no end and hearing her talk about her sister makes me angry. I think she is more concerned with people thinking she is the good one, than the actual well being of her sister. Just my opinion, and to be clear, one that the show gave me. Then Taylor and Kennedy come in.
Are they kidding? The child does not show her face and I can only imagine what that little girl carries around in her heart and mind. In the end this show was more frustrating than entertaining and I don’t believe that any of them are actual friends. They share this show, but that is all.
The reunion will be good and so we can look forward to that. One could argue that after such a brutal season, to end it with something so beautiful was a good call. Let’s go with that. It was a perfect wedding and we can get our closure at the reunion. Let’s hope they can keep it real.
January 22, 2012 | 11:48 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I cannot get enough of this show. I watch these women with equals parts fear, fascination, horror and joy. These chicks are good television. I find that I have an attitude when I watch them. My tweets even get aggressive which is hilarious. Watching these women will give you balls. They are both empowering and mortifying.
We start this week with Ramona and Karen talking about Ramona and her boyfriend getting arrested. I just don’t get them and Karen is annoying to me. I think she thinks up things to say when she is home alone, then decides they are cool, and says them on the show. Only problem is they are not cool, and she sounds fake.
It’s time for some Big Ang, who is perfection. Carla and Drita go to her bar for a drink and we learn a little about this fascinating woman. Drita calls her the “Godmother” of all the women and I love that. She is big and tough, and nurturing to all the women. She’s like the mommy figure and I love her. She is also a real life mom.
Her son AJ gets into a car accident and she is stressed out. He is 23, getting into trouble, and trying to find his way. She is a sweet lady and I imagine has seen a lot of stuff in her life. As an audience, we are united in our love for her and want her to be happy. This is a woman we would never meet in real life, but all want to be friends with.
Karen is meeting Renee for a drink and I can’t take it. She is trying to sound hardass, but she sounds like a bad actress who is trying to be as cool as the others are naturally. Renee tells Karen she has made peace with Carla, but Karen is a troublemaker in that as soon as Renee told her they were good, Karen reminds her Carla never came to the hospital.
Renee is trying to make things nice for everyone but here’s the thing, it’s never going to happen. There are two sides on this show and that is what makes it all good. They came in broken which is real, unlike the housewives who were never together to be broken, and break on their own. These chicks are the reality in reality television.
Junior is moving back in with Renee and it’s cute. She is aware of their history, but loves him and is giving it another go. I like them together and I like her. She wants her family to have quality time together before Junior goes back to prison. That is a real statement not a fake TV one. How great is this show? Soprano’s come to life!
Karen is with Ramona and oddly excited about Ramona’s arrest being in the papers. She is a fame whore who is trying to recapture the fame of her father and his legacy, but it’s not happening. Karen giving advice is odd, makes no sense, and Ramona is of no interest. I have tried to get these two but it’s not happening. They are boring.
Carla and Drita are meeting with Derrick Tobacco to understand what happened during the fight at Renee’s party. Drita thinks Karen got in her one good punch when she was being held down, which would make Karen a coward who does not fight fair. Can you guess the truth here? Karen got her hit in while Drita was being held by Derrick.
Sidebar: I love the theme song “The Big Bang” by Rock Mafia, and Drita looks really beautiful this week. She is a pretty girl, but tonight she looks gorgeous. We clarify that Ramona stirred up trouble and Karen took a hit while Drita was being held back. Karen in a “punk” according to Drita and she is not too thrilled about Karen.
Renee and Junior are settling into a routine and Renee is having problems with their son AJ, and wants Junior to step up and be the man of the house. She wants AJ to get himself together, and stop disrespecting her. AJ has a new girlfriend and she is making him act out and Renee is over it. Junior says there is no winning when there is a girl involved.
Big Ang is having lunch with her son AJ and she is freaking awesome. Her son is cute, no real direction, but cute. He asks his mom how her love life is and she tells him she has a new guy, who just got out of prison after serving 28 years for murder, to which AJ responds that does not make him a bad guy. Dear Lord this show is good.
Big Ang talks to him with a baby voice, and is just cute. She is a broad and I want to be friends with her. I like her relationship with her son and think it’s important to see them as mothers. It’s puts a different spin on this show and these women which is great. Big Ang is getting a puppy and I swear to God, I want her to be my neighbor.
Carla goes to a fashion show with Etty the jeweler, and we learn she wants her own fashion line. I’m skipping over this. Dear Lord. I’m not interested in a fashion line by Carla. I am however going to buy Drita’s lipstick, and it was determined on Twitter today that Drita should also sell bejeweled wrenches. I would buy one of those for sure.
Renee is having Karen and Ramona, along with their kids, over for dinner. Renee is hilarious, pointing out they all wear a Rolex, but are late for everything. Renee is not into her kid being rude and will not stand for the disrespect. If it’s the girl that is causing it, she’s got to go. She is struggling with dealing with Junior.
It’s just too funny. She is grossed out by Junior being a slob, and her reaction to crumbs being left around the house, and leaving the TV on, are priceless. Renee is a good egg and for the record, crumbs would put me over the edge. Ramona is funny when she points out that Renee is finding crumbs not condoms, and she needs to chill.
Renee is screaming her head off, cussing up a storm, the kids laugh at her, and she goes in and yells at them too. The facial reaction of one of the kids is perfect. Renee is losing her mind over the crumbs and I’m thinking my beloved Renee might need a Xanax. Her reaction is weird and seems out of sync so it may be a bad editing choice.
Carla and Drita are working out and their bodies are showing all their hard work. They look good. I’m loving Drita this week and even think Carla is good. I gave her a hard time last week but given a chance, she could be good. Ramona and Karen are never going to win me over, but Carla is on her way. She’s no Big Ang, but she’s okay.
Sides are being taken and Carla has Drita’s back, while Lucifer, otherwise known as Ramona, is on team Karen. Something is going to blow with these chicks and God willing the cameras will be rolling. I am a solid card carrying member of Team Drita. Meanwhile Karen calls Carla and invites her out for dinner. Stop looking into the camera Karen!
Carla meets Karen who is just weird. Carla is trying to be nice, but Karen is looking to pick a fight. She tells Carla that she hated her all summer and it’s so stupid. She is badmouthing her friend, talking about being a soldier, and all of a sudden it’s a bad 1940’s gangster movie. Karen is lame. Carla is calm, but Karen is just pushing a fight.
Karen is not listening to anything Carla is saying, she is just making it about Drita. Carla is laughing at the absurdity of it all, and gets up to leave. Karen is being a hard ass and trying to be tough, but she just looks like an animal. Carla bails and Karen tells her to come back. Karen is still talking, not listening, and Karen is about to throw blows.
Karen says she invited her to dinner because she likes her, but she just said she hated her. What is it Karen? At one point Carla looks in the camera with a look of “are you seeing this crazy person?” It’s funny. Carla should not have gone to meet Karen in the end. They are not friends and if she is going to be loyal to Drita, then don’t go.
I love this show and have figured out that if Renee, Drita or BigAng are on the screen, sit down and watch. If Carla is on, keep the volume on, but I can walk around, and if Ramona and Karen are on, I can go do the laundry or empty the dishwasher. This is a brilliant show and I am hooked. These Real Housewives of Staten Island are keeping it real.
January 17, 2012 | 10:52 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
We start this week in San Francisco, which is important because this is where Ben lives. He meets with his sister for a coffee and she is really quite pretty. He tells her she would really like Courtney, which is interesting because if she did, she would be the only one, because Courtney is a troll.
The girls arrive and Chris Harrison is there to tell them about what will happen. That this guy is here is insane to me. He is charming to be sure, and I have interviewed him and totally crushed on him, but his role on this show is now embarrassing and he needs to move on, as he is useless here.
The first SF one-on-one date goes to Emily. She is cute but nervous and she is worried about her date and asks the camera if the date will make her pee her pants. Nice memory of her caught on film. Courtney is projecting their date will be boring because book smart girls are boring.
Sidebar: I think Courtney is a moron. She is clearly not educated, or even interesting. She has a weird mouth and makes odd shapes with it. Her forehead protrudes over her face too far and that Ben thinks she is the most beautiful girl there proves that he may also be a bit of a moron.
Emily is very pretty and a PHD student. She is scared of heights so it makes sense that they are going to climb the Bay Bridge together. Really? Not even if George Clooney begged me would I be able to do this date. She feels sick to her stomach and wants to die, yet she is going to do it.
Ben thinks if they can climb the bridge together there is nothing they will not be able to do together. How is putting your life at risk for a television show, and someone you have known for five minutes, going to prove anything other than the fact that you are desperate and pathetic?
Emily is losing her mind, does not want to finish and Ben tells her, “Talk to me Goose”, which I think is the greatest line ever on the Bachelor. Bravo Ben. It was brilliant. Back at the hotel, the girls find them with the telescope. Such an organic and unscripted moment. The Bachelor sucks.
She is freaking out so Ben kisses her and we are supposed to believe it propels her forward and she is fine with the height. She was never scared if you ask me. She did not even cry and she is hundreds of feet above the ocean hanging on with a rope and no tears?
Important to note that even though I write a rather sarcastic recap of this show, and mention often that it is crap and I hate it, I truly love it and watch with the hope that it will work, and the knowledge that it won’t. I love the idea of this show just enough to tune in each week.
Emily tells Ben she tried online dating and was matched with her brother. Hilarious. She does not clarify however if she went out with him or not. She tells us she is most scared of rejection and heights. Right. She faked her fear of heights and was not rejected by her own brother. Winning!
Ben likes Emily and he gives her a rose on their date. He says such lovely things to the women and it’s all so scripted and marvelous that you can’t help but love Ben. He needs to cut his hair, but he is quite charming and I find myself liking him very much. Emily is cute, even if a faker.
The other girls are in the hotel watching their private fireworks show and it’s hilarious. These girls are embarrassing themselves at ever turn. Then, when you think it cannot get any more humiliating for them, they are going to ski in their bikinis.
The girls do not know how to ski, are flailing all over the place, half naked, being watched like they are crazy, and I am unable to figure out what would make a women think this is how to get a man? It’s silly, not attractive, and one of the lamest dates they’ve ever done.
Back at the hotel, Brittney gets the next one-on-one date. She is the girl who came to the first night with her Grandma and she’s just not into the date at all. She is uncomfortable and wants to go home. It makes sense because this is a sweet girl who is missing the whore gene.
Sidebar: There is no way that this show needs to be two hours each week. The way they drag it out is annoying and makes me want to break things. Between the dramatic pauses, the 30 minute rose ceremonies, and the useless Chris Harrison, it’s almost too much to handle. Almost.
It’s time for the group date to hang out in the hot tub and Ben asks for alone time with Rachel. She is pretty but a little dumb. They have a little kiss time and she is giddy. She thinks it’s romantic and they are connected. How is kissing with your competition watching romantic?
How does dating a man at the same time as he is dating a bevy of other women feel like you are making a real connection? If my daughter wanted to go on this show I would forbid it. I find myself laughing at these girls and feeling a little sad for them at the same time.
Kacie B. is the frontrunner and she is having a hard time watching him make out with other girls. She is sweet but needs to get a grip because she could blow it by getting too clingy. He assures her its fine, and she goes in for the kiss. The more he likes her, the less I like her.
Brittney makes the decision to go home and heads out to say bye. She is a doll and I want her to meet someone wonderful at her church, get married, and have lots of babies. She is just too good for this show and I am proud of her for staying true to herself and bailing.
Ben says he is surprised she left, but he’s not. He was not into her and we all know it. He tells her to say hi to her Grandma, which is a nice touch. Brittney is a really lovely girl and I’m happy for her that she left. Back at the party Ben gives the groups date rose to Rachel.
She is saying it is one of the best days of her life and I’m thinking this chick might not have a great life. Kacie B. is shooting daggers at her and I’m loving all the crazy. I also want to know why everyone is calling San Francisco San Fran? Do people really do that? It sounds weird to me.
Lindzi, the first impression rose horse girl, gets the final on-on-one date. She looks like she is wearing a wig and her hair is in her face. They both need a haircut, and quite frankly a brush. They tour the city and end up at the San Francisco City Hall, which is amazing.
They get into the building and there is a guy singing and Lindzi tells us all about it as if she totally knew who he was. No way. She had no idea who Math Nathanson was and furthermore, she thinks Ben planned this amazing date. Ben did nothing to plan this date. Grow up.
They go out for dinner and we are told about how Lindzi got dumped by post it. Wasn’t that an episode of Sex and the City? So original. Ben digs her, gives her a rose, and she is safe. She is oddly appealing. By appealing of course I mean an airhead who deserves a chance.
It’s cocktail party time and we see some mystery chick coming for Ben. Whatever. There is always some loser who comes back and it never works out so who cares about who it is? It’s just a way to fill two hours so we forget we want to kill ourselves and watch a little longer.
Jennifer pulls Ben aside and tells him she really likes him. He then tells her she is the best kisser in the house and she is thrilled. In a house full of skanky whores is it really a big deal to be labeled the best kisser? I like this girl and she is my personal favorite at the moment.
The mystery girl is Shawntel, the funeral director from Brad’s season. She was a freak on her own season and she is a freak here. Does she really think she has a shot in hell of getting a rose? Did she think she should show up with her hair like that? Did she think at all? This chick is a loon.
Courtney is causing trouble and it’s the most entertaining thing about this show. She is really, really dumb and incredibly mean, and watching her is fascinating. I want her to be locked in a room with Drita and Karen from Mob Wives for an hour. They will smack the bitch right out of her.
The girls are trashing Courtney and Emily even says she has a mental disorder. Agreed. Ben is fawning over her and she asks him how much on a scale of 1 to 10 he likes her. Really? Courtney is a fame whore. By fame whore of course I mean just a plain old fashioned whore.
Ben is chatting with someone whose name I don’t remember when Shawntel walks in wearing a very unfortunate dress. The girls are freaking out and it’s classic. Even after she freshens up, she still has not fixed her hair. Epic fail. Shawntel asks Ben to talk with her.
Shawntel is telling Ben she feels something for him and the other girls are watching and losing their minds. Ben is flustered, Shawntel is desperate, and heads are flying off of bodies. She tells him she wants a rose and to enter the competition. I now want to cut my own eyes out.
Shawntel is telling the girls she wants a shot and the girls are wanting to kill her. They are screaming at her that she does not know their Ben, she had a shot with Brad, and she needs to get the hell out. They are calling her ugly, fat, and delusional. It’s perfect fake reality television.
Best line of the night? Shawntel is Brad’s dumpster trash. Love it. She is sloppy seconds and fake model bitch Courtney is crying. They are all crying and it’s insanely funny. If he gives Chantal a rose they are all bailing. As if. By bailing of course they mean they are not bailing.
Chris is back to put us to sleep by explaining to the dingbats that two of the girls are going home tonight. Courtney is the first to be called up and the girl who was not going to take a rose, takes it. Loser. He then goes through the chicklets until there are three girls left with only one rose.
Nicki is this week’s nervous breakdown. She is bawling like her dog just died at the thought of Shawntel getting a rose. She then gets a rose and is miraculously fine. Ben is about to hand out the final rose and Erica passes out, apparently from the stress of Shawntel.
Erica, Jaclyn and Shawntel are the three he is choosing from and Ben decides that he is not giving any of them a rose and is passing on the final rose of the night. He sends them all home. Erica is weak from her emotional meltdown and collapses, while Jaclyn runs off crying like she had a shot.
Ben walks out Shawntel and Courtney yells out “See ya”, with a laugh. Ben explains to Shawntel he is flattered but keeping her would not have been fair. She is pissed, their parting is awkward, then she cries. Apparently Ben was not man enough to keep. Good story.
Ben leaves Erica and her inside lip tattoo alone on a bench, Shawntel is still bitching, and Jaclyn is out. The other girls find out they are going to Park City for their next adventure. Next week looks awesome and I can’t wait. This show is fabulous, but nothing about it is keeping it real.
January 17, 2012 | 1:12 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
We only have one week left and I for one could not be happier. This season has been draining and I’m ready for it to be over. I am seriously hoping Taylor does not return next year because she sucks the life of this show. She kills things and if she come back next season she will kill this show too.
We start with everyone getting ready to go the opening of Lisa and Ken’s new lounge SUR. Kyle is talking to her daughter. By talking of course I mean gossiping. Kyle is playing victim already and it’s a waste of time. She spends a lot of time making everything in the show revolve about her.
It’s two hours until the opening of the lounge and Lisa is scrambling around to get it all done. I was not a fan of Lisa in the beginning of the season but I love her now at the end. She is funny and sweet and in the end I was a little harsh in my view of her. Lisa is entertaining, beautiful and funny.
Kim is with Ken at a hotel getting ready for the opening. She is clearly medicated and pulls out a vibrator to share with her make-up artist. She is just a mess and it’s embarrassing that Bravo is showing this footage. Like Russell before her, they are making bad choices for her future.
The hotel room they are in is horrible, and the amount of clothes they have for one night is insane. I’m not buying they were there just for the party. She has suitcases, the room is trashed, and it would appear they have been staying there for more than just the opening.
SUR is finally opening, Lisa looks gorgeous, and the night is beginning. Brandi arrives first and she is really tall, flirty, and has earned a regular spot next season. No sign of Dana in this episode which makes sense since she did not work with this group and never will.
Bernie the chef arrives which is weird. Why was he invited? Lisa does not recognize him and it’s funny. Inside the party, one of the waitresses is an old mistress of Brandi’s ex-husband. By mistress of course I mean a whore who slept with him while Brandi was pregnant with his baby.
Lisa is classy about the whole thing and asks the waitress to go home. Important to note that you know Leann Rimes is watching, seeing one of Eddie’s many mistresses, and knowing she has no shot in hell of keeping this man because at the end of the day, he is a pig not a man.
Camille arrives and looks beautiful. Kyle arrives and she too looks good but within 5 seconds of seeing Lisa is bitching about her life and complaining about Kim. Really Kyle? Why can’t she congratulate her friend on her important day before talking about her herself? Again.
Kim is scrambling to get ready. She is bagging on Ken and truly a hot mess. Ken is trying to get her ready but she incoherent. He is talking about getting jewelry out of the safe for her, but I thought they checked in today for one night? There is a whole lot of lying going on in this episode.
It would appear they are living at the hotel and it’s odd. I feel a little sad for Ken. He has forever ruined his reputation by being with Kim and she is about to sell him down the river. Ken needs to run away from this woman as fast as he possibly can. Kim is about to go Taylor on him.
The party is in full swing but there does not seem to be a lot of people. All of sudden the room stops and Cedric walks in. What’s fascinating, is Adrienne and Kyle kiss him like he’s an old friend. He really hurt their friend and they should have walked away not embraced him.
Lisa approaches and tells him to leave. She asked who invited him and Brandi yells out that it was not her, which of course means it might have been her. That he has the balls to come is amazing, and that the ladies disrespect Lisa on her big night by kissing him is shady to me.
Brandi tells him she appreciates “this” when he leaves which makes no sense. Cedric reluctantly leaves but not before professing his love and support of Lisa. Really? Cedric is an ass and that he showed up at all was tacky. Lisa is a lady and handles herself with true class and grace.
Taylor is heading to the party and taking her therapist as her date. Are these people for real? Who takes their therapist to a party and who goes to a party under the circumstances Taylor wants us to think she is dealing with? Taylor is unraveling in lies and I for one am over it.
Ken and Kim are finally in the car and she is slurring her excitement over the buttons in the car. She then goes through the garbage can, finds a condom and some poop while still fascinated by the buttons. I feel so sad for her and her children that Bravo has captured this moment.
Taylor is in the car crying about pulling her friends into the mess of her life. Seriously Taylor? You needed your friends to set up the whole thing so your tragic story could play out and you could leave your husband and find someone richer, but it backfired when dying became easier for him.
Kim arrives at the party and she is high as a kite. Lisa is going to great her and Kyle says she needs to stay with her. Kyle is a bitch and Kim is a disaster. Kim is there for a minute and again Kyle is crying and making it all about her. Kyle is out of control and I’m so over this show.
Kim pulls out her vibrator to share and is jumping around saying hello to people. Kim’s manager comes and tries to get her into the party and it’s sad because she is mean to Ken. In the end I think he loves her and got in way over his head with someone who is just not well.
Kim sees Adrienne, who by the way has still not brushed her hair, and tells her she is moving out of the house with Ken. They go into the bathroom and Kim tells her about how horrible Ken is, then Adrienne runs to Kyle and tells her to go talk to her sister. Kyle goes, but with an attitude.
Kim tells Kyle she is unhappy, she cries all the time, and she is leaving Ken. Who knows if it’s true, but one could argue she made it up to distract people from the fact that she is wasted all the time. I should feel bad for Kim but I feel bad for Ken. Thank God this show is almost over.
Kim and Kyle have a super dysfunctional relationship. Kim is reaching out for help and Kyle is crying about how she has never apologized to her. Even in the saddest moment for her sister, she makes it about her again. That said, this is the top layer of a very deep situation.
We now see how sick Kim really is and it’s a glimpse into the frustrations Kyle has with Kim. During the season I have written about Kyle based on what we saw, and we don’t really see anything. Kyle is selfish and narcissistic, but maybe I should cut her some slack after this week.
By cut some slack of course I mean I am not going to cut slack to a woman who put her desire for fame ahead of her sister. She was so lovely last year, then this year her popularity went to her head and she got a little ugly. I liked Kyle but just don’t buy into her anymore.
Kim tells Kyle her period is three months late and she might be pregnant. Really? She takes off her shoe and claps it in her hand saying she is going to have another baby, then instantly slips into a daydream where she says she is going to travel instead of a baby. Whack-a doodle crazy.
Kim tells the camera she wants a puppy not a baby, and tells Kim she is too scared to take a pregnancy test. I’m guessing she bought one, smoked it, and has not had a chance to get a new one. Mauricio and Ken come over and it’s just weird. This show is a train wreck.
Kyle tells the camera she cannot help Kim unless she makes changes in her life and is at a loss for what she can do. You take your sister kicking and screaming to get help and don’t allow her to go on a reality show when you know she is not well and will publically unravel.
Cut to a minute later when Kyle is now perfectly fine and greeting Taylor. The editing is clearly done by people who have no idea what they are doing. I’ve got whiplash with all the flipping back and forth between time and space. It makes no sense and is embarrassing for Bravo.
Taylor uses Lisa’s opening to have a powwow with the girls to help them understand what is happening with her. I want to scream! They are having group therapy with Taylor and her doctor at a private party? This show is ridiculous and I am struggling to understand why we watch.
How is it that while this is going on, having just seen that Kim is high and possibly pregnant, Kim is nowhere to be found? Why is this meeting happening here, and why is Kyle not with her sister when she just told her the man she brought to the party is abusive to her?
Kim is in the bathroom, clearly getting up to no good, Ken is begging her to come out, she is too wasted to be smart enough to remove her mic pack, and Taylor is telling the girls Russell hit her. Taylor’s crying is annoying me, then Adrienne steps in and reminds us they don’t believe her.
Taylor instantly turns off the waterworks and Adrienne stands up for Camille with the lawsuit threat from Russell. Adrienne is screaming that Camille has a lawsuit against her and we all know she did not. Russell wrote a threat, but no lawsuit was ever filed. Such crap.
Taylor tells them, then us, that she was physically abused by Russell, but she is going to co-parent with him. If my husband were hitting me, he would not be allowed anywhere near my child until he got help. How can you believe anything that Taylor says? I’m just not buying it.
Everyone accepts Taylor’s apology but something fishy is going on. I personally think this scene was shot after Russell died and the crying is crap. They hold hands and have a kumbaya moment while Kim is in the bathroom trying to smoke her vibrator. Such a mess.
Next week is the season finale and we will see Pandora’s wedding. It will be gorgeous and I cannot wait to get a front row seat. It will be a bit of fluff until we get the reunion, which is what I am all most looking forward to. That is going to be really interesting to say the least.
Normally I would think it will be bunch of denial and sweeping of things under the carpet, but we now have Brandi and I’m guessing she will call everyone out. I’m curious to see who sits next to who on the couch, if Andy will be firm, and if any of the ladies will be able to keep it real.
January 17, 2012 | 10:58 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
We start with the aftermath of Renee’s party. Big Ang is out for lunch with Drita and let me just say these two chicks are fabulous television. I love Drita so much and wish I had balls as big as hers. Actually, I think I do which may be why I love her so much. As for Ang, this woman is simply divine. VH1 hit gold with this woman.
Drita is telling Ang she felt set up and Ang is telling her she felt bad she pushed for reconciliation. I cannot take my eyes off of these women. Everything about them is fascinating. The voices, accents, profanity, makeup, all of it. This is my favorite reality television show. Maybe because it is the only show dealing with reality.
Ramona goes over to Renee’s house to say sorry about her party being ruined. Really? It was Ramona that started the problems. If she has shut up and not pushed Karen into a tizzy, it would have been fine and they would have figured it out. Ramona wants to be a hard ass but I’m just not that interested in her. She’s not a star here.
Renee is perfect television. I want to be her friend. She is a great mix of scary and vulnerable. I want her to be happy which I think says a lot about her. We all just really love her. Ramona is stirring up more crap with Renee about by sharing her hate of Carla. Carla and Renee are friends though, so Ramona needs to watch herself here.
Renee and Carla are going to get back to being friends, and then Ramona’s words will backfire. Ramona tells Renee she has been all over the world and people don’t act like these women in any other states. Is she talking about the world or the states? She is right that these women do not exist anywhere. They are magic and magic is rare.
Drita meets Carla for drinks and it’s agreed that Drita and Carla will go with Renee to meet with Big Ang. Ang is setting up a meeting so everyone can get along again. Ang is the peacemaker. She’s a grown up, not into the drama, and just wants peace. I wish Ang was my neighbor. Come to LA Ang! Your fans will show you a good time.
Renee lets us know she is a good letter writer from all her experience in writing to her friends and family in prison. Love her. She is writing a letter to Carla. She is trying to be calm and rational in how she deals with Carla, but she is hurt that Carla did not reach out to her when she was in the hospital. I’m with Renee on this one.
Carla should have supported her and saying she did not know how bad it was is crap. She knew she was in the hospital and that is enough to get her to make a call. Period. Over at Big Ang’s house, she is making lunch for her friend. She looks great when talking to the camera and I love it that these chicks all cook. No Beverly Hills reservations here.
Ang and her pal Linda are talking about picking up guys and it is awesome. These are middle-aged women who are on the prowl and owning it. Ang tells us she’s had her lips and boobs done and it’s not enough. She wants more. Linda is telling her to go to the Ukraine and I can’t get enough. Ang is the breakout star of not only this show, but all television.
I love Ang’s green kitchen and matching pots. Super cute. Over at Drita’s house she is putting it on the market and downsizing since she is getting a divorce. She has not spoken to Lee about it, but she knows it’s the next step. It’s sad because you can tell she is sad about it. She would have stuck by him if he had not cheated.
Ramona is out for drinks with Karen and she really is not that bright. It’s entertaining, a little, but I just don’t get these two. They are not that interesting, Karen is too aware of the camera’s, Ramona is clearly in search of 15 minutes, and in a show that screams reality, they are a little off to me. Maybe that will change. Maybe not.
Drita is with her daughter and it’s sweet. We forget they are moms and that the lives they lead are really hard on not only them, but their families. Drita has not told her kids she is getting a divorce, but does tell her older daughter she might sell the house. The little girl is sad of course, and the entire exchange makes me love Drita more.
Drita is lovely with her daughter, her daughter is lovely, and I wish them nothing but good things. Divorce is hard, but their situation makes it just a little tougher. It’s time for Big Ang’s planned cocktails with Renee, Drita and Carla. The girls are all there and all look great. Renee sits down and boom she gets into it right away. She is ready to go.
Renee tells Carla she was hurt Carla did not acknowledge her being in the hospital and Carlo responds that it was not her fault because nobody told her. Not sure I buy that since the gossiping with these chicks is out of control, but okay. Renee tells Carla she wrote her a letter and they will read it together privately. Carla and Renee make up.
I have not bought into Carla yet, but today she was much more likeable than she was in the past. The girls are laughing and drinking and all is well again Big Ang is the glue this week and I freaking love her. Drita has decided to sell off her jewelry and when she gets her engagement ring appraised. We learn it is worth over 100K which is good but sad.
You can see her pain and it’s unfortunate she is in this place. Good for her though that she will have a little money to start over. Back with Renee, she is out for dinner with Junior and they are cute together. He cheated, she could not take it, they got divorced. She loved him even when he was cheating on her and it’s sad. I get it, but it’s sad.
Junior tells Renee he made some mistakes in their relationship and Renee starts to cry. She wanted him to acknowledge that he hurt her, and he did. Who knows what will happen with them, but their dinner was nice. Renee looked beautiful and you could feel her happiness. There are reservations to be sure, but she was happy.
Over at Karen’s, she is “acting” while talking to Ramona who called to tell her she and her boyfriend have been arrested. Karen is not a good actress and too aware of the camera’s to be interesting to me, plus who cares? Renee is back with Carla and reading her the letter she wrote. It’s a nice letter and good for Renee that was calm and wrote it all down.
Carla and Renee are good and it’s nice. It’s so funny when Renee tells the camera it was great they could make up with no physical violence. The amount of hitting with these chicks is truly unbelievable. There are fascinating people, leading fascinating lives, and when it comes to reality television, these Staten Island ladies are keeping it real.
January 16, 2012 | 12:51 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
We are back in Atlanta and is it just me or are these women getting boring? Furthermore, is a trip to South Africa really going to make them any more entertaining? These women no longer like each other so the interactions are ridiculous. Give NeNe and Marlo their own show, give Phaedra her own show, and call it a day. The rest can simply go away.
We start the show with Kim getting a gun lesson because Kroy will feel better if she can protect herself. They actually take the baby with them to the gun shop/shooting range. Really? Baby Kroy sleeps through the entire visit, which they want us to think took hours. Nothing annoys me more than when Bravo thinks we’re dumb.
Here’s the thing, Kim yanks out a boob at the drop of a hat and is constantly complaining about feeding the baby every couple of hours. She even put her children in danger by pumping her breasts while driving on the freeway, so how is it she was at the gun range for hours and never complained about it once? Because it’s fake. I’m so over her.
Phaedra and Apollo are having lunch with Peter and Cynthia to ease the tension between the men. Apollo is really sweet, Peter is really annoying, Phaedra is really entertaining and Cynthia really needs to rethink her bangs. They are all trying to be nice, but it’s just weird because they don’t like each other and you can smell how fake it is.
Phaedra tells Cynthia about the trip to South Africa and Cynthia is in. Cynthia calls Apollo Opollo, and it’s sad that Phaedra wants us to think she is hosting the ladies. None of these chicks have real money, and those that do are not taking everyone on a trip. This is going to be Morocco all over again, which is good, but cannot save this show.
NeNe is at a meeting with her new partner John. They are investing in a lounge of some kind and while I don’t get why that would be of interest to her, good for her. John is clearly smitten with Nene and I’m guessing the lounge is not his ultimate goal. I love Nene but I’m not getting this deal for her. Get the shoes and get out.
Speaking of which, John congratulates Nene on their partnership with another pair of Louboutins, and NeNe tells us she loves a gift. She is a little embarrassed and I think her reaction is really cute. She understands his desire to give her gifts because it means he gets to look at her. Seriously, give this woman her own show.
Kandi and Phaedra are at an African dance class in anticipation of their fake friends trip. Phaedra is amazing in it, while Kandi is a dud. Kandi is just not cute. Now remember, she does not like to gossip, and does not read the blogs, but she pulls up Marlo’s mug shots on her phone and it’s pathetic. She is the queen of gossip.
Kim goes to her psychic and I’m skipping over it and going straight to the African history museum with Phaedra and Sheree. Phaedra is on a mission to get everyone excited about the trip. How it is that Sheree wants us to think she has enough money to build a chateau, yet can’t seem to afford to get her hair done for a shoot day?
Phaedra is talking about how fancy she is and also disrespecting the museum and the history of African Americans by touching the exhibits and checking the junk of a mannequin. She was mortified Cynthia would be uncivilized by asking her age, but thinks looking under the loincloth of an exhibit piece is appropriate and civilized behavior?
Sheree says she will go on the trip to South Africa because she is willing to deal with NeNe in order to not give up the opportunity of the trip. It has nothing to do with NeNe. Sheree is going because it’s free and she don’t got any money. Phaedra, Sheree, Kandi and Cynthia are now all confirmed for the trip to the motherland. Buckle up.
Phaedra is calling the Vice President of Ghana and it’s hilarious because he clearly has no idea who she is, but she says, “I’m sure you’ve heard I’m coming”. That one scene was the best part of the show. That is unless you include the commercials. Real Housewives of Orange County look fantastic. Can’t wait to say goodbye to Atlanta.
Momma Joyce has a dinner and invites all the ladies. It’s a desperate measure that Bravo needs a fake dinner just to get the girls together. They all hate each other so how does this show keep going? NeNe is there, but so are Sheree and Kim, who are openly and aggressively hating on her Their jealousy is palpable.
The entire dinner is stupid and proof this show simply does not work any longer because these women don’t work anymore. Joyce is trying to get them to be friends but it’s just not going to happen. She tells them all to dig deep which is good, but makes them talk to each other and it’s painful. Stupid and painful.
Joyce is talking about how they are all beautiful black women and Kandi points out that Kim is in fact not a black woman. It was funny. Sheree is over it and wants to move on. It was a valiant effort by Joyce, but in the end an epic fail. They get to talking about Africa and NeNe says she is not going on the trip.
Everyone leaves the dinner and NeNe let’s Kandi know she will think about the trip. We see a preview for next week and learn not only is NeNe going to South Africa, she brings along Marlo. Next week could be good. It will just be temporary of course, because this cast is over and Africa needs to be the big finish. That is keeping it real.