Posted by Ilana Angel
On a recent episode of the Real Housewives of Miami, Lea Black was watching her ancient lawyer husband on television as he was doing closing arguments for a case he was working on. She says her husband is on a case that involves a terrible accident where someone was killed.
Lea explains to her young son, who is watching with her, that the man accused of drinking and driving was in fact not drunk, he simply had a head injury and was in a lot of pain. She refers to the man being charged as a wonderful and well known guy who is being hung by the media.
She tells her son he is presumed innocent and seems truly upset the man is being drug through the mud by the media. I am one of the media that hung him out to dry. John Goodman is a cold hearted and reckless killer and Roy Black should be ashamed of himself, as should his wife.
I understand that everyone needs to make a living and that Mr. Black is paid to represent someone and may accept a case event if he thinks the person is not innocent, but Lea speakig about such a public case, in such a hurtful way the victims family is crazy to me. How do these people sleep?
Lea met her husband when she acquitted a Kennedy on charges of rape. He is, in my opinion, a rapist, and that she found him not guilty tells me she has her eyes set on the old man, not justice. She is cut of the same cloth as her husband. This is the true story of John Goodman.
Originally Posted February 10, 2012
John Goodman is very wealthy. He was a child of privilege, but as wealthy as he was growing up, he’s richer now. He founded the International Polo Club and is a billionaire. That’s with a B. He is not only a billionaire, but also a pig, cowardly, and disgusting.
Two years ago, while drunk, Goodman ran a stop sign and killed 23 year old Scott Wilson. While the Wilson family mourned the loss of their beloved son, Goodman posted a $100K bond and checked into the Miami Four Seasons, while he waited to be arrested.
The Wilson family is suing Goodman for the wrongful death of their son. Goodman is a billionaire on paper, but one can assume when you have that much money, there is even more hidden offshore, in protected trusts, and in other people’s names. Punitive damages are involved so this matters.
In order to protect his money, Goodman did something so unbelievable I can’t wrap my head around it. Goodman’s girlfriend, Heather Hutchins, is now his daughter. That is correct folks. 48 year old Goodman adopted his 42 year old girlfriend so he could transfer his wealth to her.
By transferring the money to his “daughter” before the trial, it is safe and cannot be touched. He is allowed to give her 1/3 of his wealth, which when you are talking about billions of dollars, is not a small amount of money. That money cannot be touched by any judgment against him.
The legal papers read: “The adoption declares Ms. Hutchins to be Mr. Goodman’s child and legal heir, entitled to all of the rights and privileges of Mr. Goodman’s natural born children. While there is nothing unusual about an adult adoption, the critical fact here is that Ms. Hutchins is Mr. Goodman’s 42-year-old girlfriend.”
Goodman’s criminal trial starts March 6 when he will be charged with DUI, vehicular manslaughter and leaving the scene of a crash. He could face up to 30 years in prison. He was drunk, ran a red light, killed a boy, and then he left. 30 years doesn’t seem like enough time to me.
Goodman claims the adoption was a way to protect his children, but what about the Wilson’s child? Was he concerned with his well being when he killed him and left him alone to die? While I appreciate that what Goodman is doing is legal, it is not decent. Shame on him.
Goodman hit Wilson so hard that his crumpled car went airborne and landed in a canal, on its roof, and immediately began sinking. Scott Wilson was a recent graduate of the University of Central Florida with a degree in mechanical engineering. Let’s not forget about this boy.
As a mother, I cannot imagine ever losing a child, and for this boy to have his life taken, after he was just starting to live it, is unforgiveable to me. I hope Mr. Goodman remembers that his killed someone’s child each time he has sex with his daughter. I also hope he rots in hell.
Too harsh? Maybe. By maybe of course I mean no. Goodman left a young man to die because he was selfish and stupid. He then scrambled to hide money so he does not have to give it to that child’s family. They don’t care about the money you douchebag. They want their son back.
I find this story upsetting for a lot of reasons. There is clearly a creepy factor, but it’s more than that. He killed a man and then showed no decency by leaving him alone to die. He is now disrespecting his memory because of money. It’s all rather horrific and heartbreaking.
I am sending my condolences to the Wilson family. I am sorry for your loss and I hope Scott gets peace at trial with a conviction of the man who killed him. As for Mr. Goodman, he is a despicable human being and when it comes to his getting the maximum sentence, I am keeping the faith
******* UPDATE *******
The biological children of Goodman went to court asking the judge to throw out the adoption of Hutchins, saying it was all part of an elaborate scheme of their father to protect his money from the pending $100 million dollar law suit he is facing.
With the adoption is place, Hutchins is set to get $250K a year for the rest of her life, plus millions more from Goodman’s trust. It breaks down to her getting about $200 million dollars over the next forty years, and his biological kids are pissed off.
There is a lot of money involved her and I get that money makes people crazy, but what about Scott Wilson, the boy who was killed? All this talk of money and nobody in the Goodman family is talking about the fact that someone died at the hand of Goodman.
This Sunday will mark the 2 year anniversary of Scott Wilson being killed. Scott was only 23 years old and home from college for the weekend to celebrate his sister’s birthday, when Goodman, who was twice the legal limit of blood alcohol level, ran a stop sign.
He plowed in Scott’s car, which landed in canal, and took off by foot. While Scott was drowning in the canal, Goodman called 911 from down the road and said he saw the accident. He was so drunk and/or stupid, he thought they would not know it was his Bentley?
This is a nightmare for the Wilson family and that Goodman keeps disrespecting them over and over again is horrific. He killed a boy and he should be giving money to Scott’s family, not to his whore/daughter/girlfriend, who should be ashamed of herself.
I get that the biological kids are angry they are losing out on all this money, but they should be talking about the death of Scott Wilson and trying to help that family, not scrambling to get the money themselves. Problems of the rich I guess.
In court documents it says Goodman never told his kids about the adoption because they did not like Hutchins, and Hutchins complains that the kids kept erasing her information from their dads phone until he had to memorize her phone number on his own.
Really? Is this chick serious? She is just as disgusting as her drunk boyfriend and I want to know if the state of Florida is going to charge Goodman with incest and sleeping with a prostitute since she is now both his child and a whore.
The civil trial is set for March 27th, with the criminal trial on the docket for March 6th. He faces up to 30 years in prison if convicted and I hope he is. I’m sure there are lots of people in prison who will be interested in getting adopted and calling him Daddy.
The lack of decency in John Goodman is upsetting to me, and this story annoys me to no end. I will be following the trials, sending my prayers to the Wilson family. As for justice being served and the memory Scott respected, I am keeping the faith.
**John Goodman was sentenced to 16 years in prison and is currently out on a 7 million dollar bail and under monitored house arrest while he appeals. I’m sure he is enjoying watching RHOM. Asshole.
12.12.13 at 9:43 pm | I might be too intimidated to blog this show. . .
12.10.13 at 8:55 am | Carlton can stay, Joyce should go.
12.8.13 at 9:55 pm | Momma Joyce is all kinds of crazy.
12.7.13 at 8:49 am | What the hell is Bravo giving us?
12.7.13 at 7:29 am | I'm not going to lie, these women and the men. . .
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire.
10.13.13 at 6:35 pm | One minute in and I am already overwhelmed by the. . . (1567)
10.10.13 at 12:58 pm | One is trashy, one is classy. (1535)
10.8.13 at 5:46 pm | This was the most boring reunion show ever. (1527)
September 25, 2012 | 3:27 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I got an email today from a reader who compared my RHONJ blog to sex. She said she has been dating me all season long, we went out once a week, she listened, engaged, and got attached to my blog. Then when the finale finally arrived, she shaved her legs, bought new lingerie, made a drink, and got into bed only to discover I had a headache. Hilarious.
I chose to not do my regular recap on the finale because I was so disgusted. I never really thought about all of you who read each week and have been looking forward to my wrapping it all up. It was selfish of me and I apologize. If you went to the trouble of shaving your legs and getting dolled up, the least I can do is end with a bang, so here we go.
We start with Angelo going up to Melissa and Kathy thinking he is trying to pick them all up. Really Kathy? Melissa clearly knows who he is, but plays dumb. The set up has begun. Teresa is stressed out, Kathy is delusional, and Melissa is scrambling to come up with an out. The fashion show starts and let’s take a minute to point out the clothes are gorgeous.
Kim addresses the group and she is a hot mess. Take it down a notch. By a notch of course I mean stop drinking lush. Teresa and Melissa go to the bathroom and Teresa tries to talk to Melissa about Angelo. She says she can’t remember who he is. and so Teresa reminds her. In my opinion, Teresa was trying to help her, but Melissa did not get it.
Tre tells Mel that he said she was a stripper at a club he worked at. Teresa says she knows she was never a dancer. Melissa quickly goes from saying she did not know who he was and never worked there, to yes she worked there, but only for a week, and she was a bartender. Her story is unraveling and it would be hilarious if it was not so horrible.
Teresa tells Mel she will go up to him with her to confront him, and Melissa refuses. Jac then says she got a text from a friend about what was going down. We know she is lying because Jac has no friends. In the middle of all the drama we learn Teresa does not know the word coincidence. This chick is television gold and seriously needs her own show.
Mel gets pissed off at Tre for not defending her, and Teresa explains she is on her side. Melissa says she is going to call Tre’s brother, which I thought was weird. Why didn’t she say she was calling her husband? By using brother over husband she was making it all about hurting Teresa, not protecting herself. Melissa lies and has forgotten what she lied about.
Melissa is on the phone with Tarzan and tells him someone is calling her a stripper. Joe says it is crap and he is coming over. Really? He is going to drive into NYC to help her? What about the kids? He was sitting in a parking lot with the production truck because the whole thing was scripted by Bravo. That’s why Angelo had a mic on. Morons.
Kathy says she does not know what is going on and she will just play dumb. Play dumb? Okay dumbass. Jac is trying to be relevant, Kim is defending herself, Mel is on the phone with Joe in the production truck, and Caroline is foaming at the mouth to see the drama unfold. Teresa is trying to stay out of it but it is too late. She is being set up.
Kim sits down and says she knew nothing about what went down which is lame, because we know she knew. Jac is hanging on every word. Lauren is eating, Caroline is trying to figure out how to get involved, and poor Teresa is stuck in the loony bin with no back up. The cavalry arrives in the form of Pete Guidice, then Caroline sticks her nose in.
Caroline is showing text messages to Melissa, Jac is trying to figure it out but she is learning impaired and can’t quite get it. By learning impaired of course I mean wasted. I seriously want one the medical gift baskets that Bravo is handing out. This chick is high as a kite. Before she tries to sue me, let me clarify, she is “allegedly” high.
For reasons that make no sense, Mellissa and Kathy go outside to talk. Melissa is backpedaling. She said earlier she would be dumb not to work at the bar because the money was so good, then tells Kathy she hated it and only worked a week. It truly is fascinating that these losers think we are not listening. They can’t erase what they already said.
Melissa is telling fish crotch Teresa is responsible for the bad things that happen to her. Caroline and Jac are talking outside now about the set up when Joe and Richie turn up. Melissa seems annoyed Joe came which is lame since she told him to come. Jac puts her neck-less head into it by saying she heard things. Of course she did, she’s delusional.
Melissa is blaming Teresa for everything and says she hopes Pete gets a beating. Teresa is trying to explain it to Joe. Johnny is texting Angelo and Melissa is telling him no. Of course she is. Melissa was a stripper, we all know, she didn’t want us to know, she is deflecting it all onto Teresa, and this family is broken. There’s no coming back.
Kim comes out to see what is going on and Joe unleashes. He calls her a bunch of names, talks about drug use, she retaliates with more crap, and it gets ugly. By ugly, of course I mean uglier. Caroline is talking smack about Teresa, then Lauren chimes in. Who the hell cares about Lauren and her opinion? It truly is a nightmare to watch.
The big question is who cares if Melissa was a stripper? If I had her body I would be a stripper too. Dear Lord. Strippers are good people. If she was a hooker maybe I could understand all the fuss, but a stripper? Jac is taking about the set up and telling Joe it was all Teresa. Melissa is spinning Jac’s words and pissing off Joe. It’s so gross.
A family is breaking in front of our eyes. Teresa goes to Jac and asks why she blamed her. Jac and Tre are going at it and Caroline is watching with glee. Caroline is a bitch. Joe sees Teresa and starts talking to her. Melissa is feeding him lines to tell Teresa shame on her. Really? Melissa helps Joe with the script because he can’t read.
This show is pathetic and Bravo needs to look at what they have done. They hurt people. We go from the fashion show to the reunion from last year. What a mess. I’m hoping the new reunion this weekend will give us some answers, but it won’t. The only thing that will make this madness stop is if we don’t watch and show Bravo we are keeping it real.
September 23, 2012 | 10:50 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I love recapping this show because there are always a million little things that I notice and like to talk about. It has been a difficult season to watch because its been so dark, but venting about it was fun for me. Tonight’s season finale however, was simply disgusting and not worthy of a recap.
Bravo is systematically ruining lives and not providing their loyal audience with any entertainment. It is mean women, embarrassing men, fractured families, fake friendships, and grown up people behaving badly. This show is a train wreck and someone at Bravo needs to be held accountable.
The nightmare behavior is not limited to the women on the show, as it transcends to the viewer. The audience has picked sides of their favorite housewives, and watch as if the show is based in reality. The desire to ruin lives has transcended the stars and passed onto the fans on Twitter.
I was glad the season came to an end, and then we were shown a preview of the reunion shows. Dear Lord, it will never end. The reunion is going to be brutal and it’s upsetting. There is no entertainment to be found. We are all gathered around our televisions watching a train wreck.
To clarify this is not a basic run of the mill reality show train wreck. Families have been broken, lives have been ruined, accusations have been flung, secrets have been told, hearts have been broken, and there is blood on the hands of the people at Bravo who allowed it to happen.
As viewers, we are hearing many sides to every story and the truth is that even the people on the show seem to be confused and unclear as to what the truth is. We have been shown such an edited version of what happened that we truly have no idea what is true and what is fabricated.
As viewers, we have an obligation to each other, and the women we love to watch, to simply look away. If they bring this cast back, we have to stop watching. We are participating in the nightmare by tuning in. A message must be sent to Bravo that we are united, and we are done.
I will blog the reunion because there will be things to be said, but for the finale, this is all I can muster up. Shame on Bravo for creating such a mess, shame on the stars for allowing it to happen, and shame on us for getting sucked into the madness. Bravo is no longer keeping it real.
September 23, 2012 | 4:11 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
After a couple of months off from my Twitter interviews, I am back with a new one and thrilled to introduce you all to Crystal. You may know her @CrystalGPink. Crystal is a reality fan who uses her own name and picture, which as you know, says a lot about her. No egg or fake name for this girl.
Crystal is a very nice woman. She is kind and soft-spoken on Twitter and I find myself feeling protective of her. I imagined her as shy and sensitive but it turns out she is anything but. This is one tough lady who has overcome a lot in her life. She is a special lady, an amazing mom, and I adore her.
Crystal is 33 years old, has two daughters, is a single mom, and works as an office manager. She grew up in a way that has inspired her to be the best mother she can be. She has been in relationships where people take and she gives, but is now ready to accept love and not just give it.
She grew up watching the dysfunctional relationship of her parents and she wants more for her own kids. She was willing to walk away and do it on her own, rather than have her girls grow up seeing love as it is not meant to be. She wants them to have more, and sacrifices herself to allow that.
Her grandparents raised Crystal because both of her parents were ill with addiction. She grew up wondering why her mother never wanted her, which is crushing for a child. Even though she could easily say she was a victim, she won’t allow that. She is a survivor and very proud.
She took care of her mother when she was ill, was with her beloved grandmother when she passed, and is focused on enjoying every minute of her life. Her top priority is making sure her kids know they are loved and all of their dreams can come true if they believe, and work hard.
Crystal worked 3 jobs at 17, was nursing her mother off of crack, and after 9 years of violin lessons, gave up a full music scholarship to university to help her family with money. This woman has been to hell and back and leans on her faith to keep her facing forward.
She is showing her kids what a real woman is and she inspires me. She monitors her kids with love and structure. She has eyes in the back of her head and her ears are always open. We parent in the same way and I feel a true validation from our sisterhood of being single moms.
Crystal loves reality television and is a real fan of Twitter. She is not addicted however, and so when things get too dark and mean for her, she simply walks away and takes a break. She likes the sharing of opinions and enjoys when people are able to view differently, but share kindly.
She has learned to not take Twitter personally, and have compassion for those who are clearly crazy. She thinks Real Housewives of New Jersey is dark and difficult to watch, but loves Top Chef and Hell’s Kitchen. She is a serious cook, loves to feed people, and wants people to eat!
Crystal has a solid connection to her faith and God. She is not ashamed of her childhood, knowing that everything had a purpose and led her to a blessed life with her children. She makes no excuses for her choices and has created the life she always wanted.
I asked Crystal to describe herself in three words and she chose strong, smart and survivor. Good choices. I hope she finds the man of her dreams to enhance her family and bring her true joy. Find @CrystalGPink on Twitter and you will be inspired by how she keeps it real.
September 21, 2012 | 8:27 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I had lunch this week with a young man named Michael Mazzella. If you have been following my reality blog from the beginning, you know I have a rather unfortunate history with Mr. Mazzella. I heard of Michael when he was a 19 year old kid who was on the path to a career in the entertainment business.
He was writing blogs for Lynn Hudson’s website and decided that he was going to hate me, simply because he was told to. For reasons I will never understand, I was hated by people who never knew me. By never understanding why, of course I mean it was all about hate, jealousy, and ignorance.
Michael got caught up in all the drama. He was a young kid, a good writer, and in his zest to get his career started, a little naïve. I reached out to him with some words of wisdom based on my experience. He responded to my kindness by writing a scathing article about me, a woman he had never met.
It was sad, hurtful, unbelievable, and in the end quite funny. This is not really about me, as much as it is about Michael, and ultimately faith. Michael reached out to me a few months ago and we made a plan to meet for lunch. Due to scheduling conflicts, and a change of heart, we never got together.
I was apprehensive because while he told me he was sorry and wanted to make amends, why would I care? It was over and I did not want to go back to that time. I forgot about Michael and his request for lunch, and then he reached out again. This time when he contacted me, things were different.
Lynn Hudson had passed away, and I was deeply moved by her death. Death does not give anyone a pass for having been an unkind person, but what her passing did do was allow me to forgive her. I was able to see her as a mother, a wife, and a sister, not just an adversary.
I agreed to meet with Michael and so we had lunch. He was not what I was expecting. He was nervous to meet me and I felt bad for him. He is a good kid and you can see the pain and shame that he feels. Many things have been taken away from this boy and he carries the burden of what was lost.
Judaism says: It is forbidden to be obdurate and not allow yourself to be appeased. On the contrary, one should be easily pacified and find it difficult to become angry. When asked by an offender for forgiveness, one should forgive with a sincere mind and a willing spirit. — Mishneh Torah, Teshuvah 2:10
Ideally a person who has caused harm, needs to sincerely apologize, then the wronged person is religiously bound to forgive. Next week is Yom Kippur and so I not only accept his apology, but am relieved he accepted mine. Life is unpredictable and I feel blessed to have peace with Michael.
It’s sad that peace never came with Lynn because it is hard to be left with so many unanswered questions. You have not heard from Michael for a long time, and so I invited him to write a blog so perhaps some of your questions can be answered. He has dark days, but he is ready to move on and start fresh.
The lesson to be learned is that forgiveness is a comfort to both the person requesting forgiveness and the one accepting it. As I enter into a new year for my faith, and head into Yom Kippur, I am seeking peace for myself. Meeting Michael eased my sorrow and reminded me to keep the faith.
FROM MICHAEL MAZZELLA:
It’s been months since you have heard from me. It would be easy to slap a few words up saying I’m doing just swell and life couldn’t be any better, that would be an untruth. I believe depression is manifested by the loss of hope of what could be and holding on to the hope that the past could be any different. To say I have been depressed for the last several months would be a gross understatement. One day I was on the fast track to becoming everything I ever dreamt of and the very next I stood starring at the reflection of a person who was 35lbs heavier and someone I simply no longer knew or recognized.
The day my life changed was a disaster of cataclysmic proportions, leaving only broken pieces to be salvaged. How I was going to find peace from these broken pieces was beyond me. For my entire life I found entertainment in reading about other people’s lives and their stories, fiction or non-fiction. Having worked in entertainment news and often serving as the publisher of said stories, never once did I stop and think about the impact they had on the people who they were exploiting. It wasn’t until the morning of June 1st 2012 that my soul became tethered by the very platform I had so often stood upon.
For the first time I was reading an article about myself, written by the two people who were in the forefront of my life, some pieces of the work were facts, some total untruths, but everything was nonreversible. I felt as though my vocal chords had been ripped from my body and my voice could not be heard As I read the hundreds of scathing comments from readers who took the time to be mindlessly entertained by the downfall of another, much like I had often done, my mind began to fill with remorse and regret for the people I had written and “reported” on. People like Ilana Angel and Sonja Morgan.
To see people I had once loved calling me a snake and claiming I lied about my age was horrifying. Mostly because I had lost my voice, something I once relied upon. Not for one moment do I claim to be guilt free, nor did I ever say I was. I have made mistakes. I look back at things I did and think I was an idiot. How could I be so blind to my own actions? I am appalled by the lack of sense I displayed, and my choice to ignore the sea of red flags that was right in front of me. Despite this, I have never had malicious intent toward anyone and I will not fall on the sword for things that are exaggerated or not true, I will not.
Let’s talk about life lessons. For a moment I thought it may be a problem that I have not earned a college agree, well y’all let me tell ya, in the last few months I have learned more then any professor could teach me. First of all, if you start out getting what you want, but not what you need, you are screwed. Second, when you ignore that little whisper telling you something may not be the best idea, don’t ignore it, because again, you will be screwed. Third, insecurity encompassed with an overly ambitious desire to do everything right away will only lead to one thing, wait for it, you guessed it, getting screwed.
I have learned so much about trust, the great importance of always telling the truth, even when it may hurt feelings, and loving all people no matter what. To wish malicious intent on someone will only lead to pain in your own life because the fact is, everything you do to hurt someone will be done right back to you. I’ve learned so much from the mistakes I’ve made that I believe it may be a good thing in the end. I promise you I’ll never make them again. To think you have the power to destroy someone’s career and rip their dreams out from under them is a sick thing. No one has that power and it is not what God wants.
Every human being on earth has a right to work and go after their dreams. If someone wants to stop them for whatever reason, they will have God to answer to. I just turned 20 and it’s a new decade in my life. It’s time to move on and be myself again. I will say that when Ilana suggested I write this, I was instantly filled with fear. I could only think about the horrible things that people would attempt to do to me, but as I thought further, I realized I am the only person who has the right to say who I am, period. I am not a snake, I’ve lied but am not a liar, and I really do think I am a good person.
I emailed Sonja apologizing for what I had written about her. No one needs to feel that pain, even if they are famous. As for Ilana, she is a lovely person. For her to allow me to do this is something she did not have to do. Many of you know she and I have had a tumultuous past, but this is proof that anything can be mended, forgiveness is possible, and you should not judge someone you have never met. As for me, I am living in Hollywood, looking for a new job, and never giving up. I will become the next Wendy Williams. Minus the cong-congs of course.
Love to everyone,
Thanks to Michael for reaching out, being kind, being open, and most importantly for keeping it real.
September 20, 2012 | 11:08 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
The city of Miami is back in the housewife business and so I’m back in too. To be honest with you, I watched the first season but did not blog about it, and frankly don’t remember that much about it. I was surprised to see it was coming back. There is a mixture of new and old cast members. Since this is my first blog of the season, I will try to be kind. By try of course I mean it is going to be really hard to like some of these chicks.
We start with Marysol who is a returning housewife, although she is not even a housewife. She brings along her mother Elsa, who is simply divine. Elsa has had some unfortunate plastic surgery and it’s sad. Someone butchered this poor woman and what is fascinating is that Marysol seems to be on the same path. She looks inflated and frozen. Last season ended with her getting married, and this season starts with her getting divorced.
Next up is Ana. She is new. She has been separated for two years but is best friends with her husband and he is always around. She is a little odd. Trying to be the hardcore tough girl, but she is more strange than tough. We find out that while her ex hangs around, he has a new girlfriend. She has a Cuban accent, but only sometimes. She is trying too hard and I don’t find her interesting or particularly attractive. Again, she’s odd.
Ana goes to visit Marysol, who is talking to her mother. I love Elsa but this is another perfect example of Bravo crossing a line. Elsa is being humiliated and it is not cool. We watch Ana and Marysol have a scripted conversation, then we are off to meet Karent. She is a new housewife, Columbian, a dentist, and an obvious fame whore. I am instantly not a fan and think she probably lies about how old she is. She is also made of plastic.
Karent is dating some Latin soap opera star. He is a pig and totally cheating on her. So obvious. She lives at home with her parents and they are not fans of her boyfriend. He is lame, makes dumb jokes, and bores me. We leave Karent and are off to see Lea. She is back from last time and she is horrible. She is an old hag, who married well, and is a total butch. She does not belong in this group and I don’t get why they had her return.
Next we have another new girl, Lisa. Dear Lord. This chick is a blow up doll. She is married to a plastic surgeon and I honestly cannot stand to listen to her. She is annoying, rather stupid, and her face looks painful. I don’t know how old she is, but she has had enough plastic surgery for 12 women. Her husband is a pig and thinks her “face matches her ass”. Truth. This chick is enough to make me not want to watch this show.
Joanna is up next. She is new to the show, but not new to all of us. She is a model and truly gorgeous. She is a little full of herself, but she is her own business so I get it. Her sister works for her which you know has got to suck. Ugly sister syndrome is at play. Sad because the sister is quite pretty. Joanna is engaged to a guy named Roman and once you see him, before he even says a word, you know he is a douchelord.
Adriana is up. She is the art dealer from last season and she is horrible. She is obnoxious, whiny, and in love with herself. She is still dating the same guy that has a dirty troll vibe. They are remodeling a yacht so they can live on it and it’s stupid. Why am I watching these chicks? This one is a loon and her fiancé is an idiot. I would be embarrassed if I was them. Not even speaking French can class up these two.
We are with Marysol and Elsa and I have nothing to say. I think Elsa is being taken advantage of for a few laughs. She is clearly medicated, not well, and inherently kind. I am not writing about her scenes. In fact, if we are going to be totally honest, I’m not going to be blogging this show beyond this first episode. I just can’t do it. There is not enough wine in the world to make this show watchable beyond the first hour.
All the women are together for a party and it is ridiculous. They are starting the season fractured and so why would we want to watch? There are no nice friendships here. It’s all for show and the show is not good. At the party Elsa is not feeling good and Joanna is sweet to her. Elsa faints and Joanna says it’s because she was overcome by energy instead of the fact she is high on medication. I like Joanna, but not enough to watch.
It will be a season of back stabbing, sleeping with each other’s men, surgery, and power plays. Bravo has lost it. It went from brilliant reality television to a bunch of Jerry Springer/Maury wannabes. I watched, I blogged, I’m done. The only way I will watch again is if I am drunk and cannot find he remote control. Sadly, that happens a lot due to Bravo. I’m out because nobody in Miami is keeping it real.
September 17, 2012 | 7:35 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
After what seems likes years in St. Barts, the women are finally back in NYC and able to continue hating each other. It’s nice to get a break from the rat race and hate in a new location, but true hate can only really be enjoyed at home. I said I would not blog this garbage anymore but here I am, with a bottle of wine, and a keyboard calling out my name.
The hating starts at a dinner party where the men are going to cook for the ladies. Luann lets us know she has told Jacques about what happened on holiday to assure him everything is fine. Really? How do you assure someone that you had sex with a man whore and he does not need to worry about it? Did she give him a golden map to the free clinic?
Ramona and Sonja are hating on Aviva, and frankly, they are right. Aviva was horrific on the trip and she should have stayed home, perhaps spending time with her therapist. Ramona is telling us she is warm and fuzzy, while Luann is looking at her, not understanding what she is saying. It is as if she was speaking French. (Think about that for a minute. Funny!)
Heather is out for drinks with Carole and I am digging me some Heather, which is really weird since I only just started to like her. She may be the only normal person on the show. Carole, who I really loved in the beginning, has become quite annoying. Carole and Heather get to talking to about being Jewish and the whole thing pisses me off.
Sidebar: In the Jewish faith, the religion is passed on by the mother to the child. If the mother is not Jewish, she can raise her children with the Jewish faith, but those kids will not be considered Jewish and would need to go through a conversion in order to marry in a religious ceremony. It’s not a big deal, and God bless Heather for doing this for her husband.
However, just to clarify, she is not Jewish, she did not convert, and while her children are being raised Jewish, they are in fact, not Jewish. I only make a point of it here because I write a lot about interfaith marriage, and religion in my Keeping the Faith blog, and it annoys me when these women who are not Jewish, say silly things about Judaism.
Heather and Carole get wasted in a gay bar drinking shots and profess their love for each other. Well, Heather tells Carole that she loves her and that she is her best friend, while Carole tells us they got closer. These relationships are beyond fake, all for show, and I cannot imagine any of them even speak when the cameras are not rolling.
Heather is now having lunch with Luann, in a completely empty restaurant, which means they are having lunch at 3:30 in the morning. To clarify, when Lu arrives they are the only people there, then, as if by magic, the restaurant is full when they eat. It’s all sooooo fake. Heather and Luann appear to be looking at a script, which made me laugh out loud.
Luann talks about the fact that she is trying IVF and I want to hit her. She has no idea what she is talking about and has a blasé tone about it, which is offensive to any woman who has ever struggled with trying to have a baby. Luann needs to spread her poached eggs on toast and shut the hell up about having a baby. Heather knows she is full of crap.
Cut to Heather, Aviva and Carole now having dinner. Really? Heather was pissed off she took a week away from her family and business, but it would appear she never spends time at home and is always out with the girls. I am once again mortified by the fact that Bravo thinks we are all stupid. This show is written, poorly, and I am on glass number 2 or Merlot.
Aviva immediately bashes Ramona and Sonja, and is again talking about her phobias. ENOUGH AVIVA. ENOUGH ALREADY. Heather stands up for Sonja and tells Aviva that she needs to separate Sonja from Ramona and not lump them together. Aviva would be doing herself a favor to just stop talking. She is a nightmare and should be fired.
Sonja and Carole go shopping and Carole lets us know she is not really into Sonja, but is concerned and wants to lend an ear. To clarify, she is concerned about the fact Sonja seems to be an alcoholic with whore-like tendencies. Sonja takes Carole to see a guy she went on a date with and it’s awkward. I hate this show. Dear Lord, I really hate it.
Carole and Sonja are now rehashing the trip and I’m not listening. Do we really need to hear everyone say the same thing over and over again? It’s just too much, then gets worse. Aviva is out with Heather again. Really? Did they just spend 72 hours filming them going out to eat? This show is officially the dumbest group of women on television.
We are hearing Aviva talk about the trip again. It is an hour of recapping by the women about a trip that we hated watching the first time. Why are they making us relive it all again? Aviva thinks she was bullied and Heather could honestly care less. Heather needs to leave this show before it sucks the life out of her, and it will.
Carole tells Aviva she started smoking and because the cigarettes are pink, they will not kill her. Are they special breast cancer cigarettes? Aviva is disgusted and thinks it will impact their relationship, and I think Carole is a moron. Pink cigarettes give you cancer Carole. Grow the hell up. It’s not cute or funny. You smoke and smoking kills. Own it.
Ramona goes over to Sonja’s and they crawl into bed together. We find out that Sonja is going to see her ex-husband for the first time in 6 years, and she is a mess. Ramona is telling her to be positive and focus on their life together, and Sonja is talking about her hair, make-up, and how much boob to show. Sonja is a seriously hot mess.
It is strange that she is going to see her ex for the first time in six years and her goal is for them to be friends again. She is delusional, overly medicated, and rather than take it easy and relax, she goes to meet Aviva for a drink. Dear Lord. Please make my power go out, or perhaps let someone come by and break my television. Help me God.
Aviva tells Sonja she loves her and Sonja tells her she does not want to be friends with someone like Aviva, and they need to just be civil for the show. Good for Sonja. She is absolutely right. Aviva was a bitch and thinks she can say sorry and it is all forgiven, but the words are already out there and you can’t take them back. Aviva is an educated idiot.
Sonja tells Aviva she is unable to get over it and she is done. Aviva then gets mean and essentially tells Sonja that she is falling apart. It’s nasty next week. Sonja will continue to humiliate herself, and Aviva will get meaner. This show is a mess and I want out. Bravo needs to man up before it is too late, and help Sonja keep it real.
September 17, 2012 | 9:40 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
As we crawl to the finish of this insane season, we are reminded this week that this show has had an agenda from the beginning. I appreciate everyone views the show differently, and 10 people will have 10 different opinions, but if you can look me in the eye and tell me that you seriously don’t think Teresa is being ambushed at every turn, I will call you a liar.
By liar of course I mean I would never call you a liar, but I would think you have some kind of mental issue. By mental issue of course I mean I would assume you have been drinking BLK. water and it has damaged your brain. It would be sad, but to be expected. If you are dumb enough to drink BLK. water you are clearly mentally challenged.
Melissa is getting ready to go to a meeting with a record label and is concerned that she look sexy for the guy she is meeting. Good for her. If a music guy wants to talk to her he is clearly deaf, so it makes sense she dresses nice because his sight is probably super good to compensate. While she preps for the meeting she gets a call from Kim D.
It’s time for the Posche Fashion Show, which makes me cringe. I am not a fan of Kim D and believe no good can come of this. Melissa calls Kim out on talking smack about her husband and Kim apologizes. Kim is totally calculated, but Melissa is not going to give up the chance to go to the fashion show. Melissa thinks she was invited because of her celebrity.
Melissa cracks me up. In the end I think she is harmless. She honestly seems to live in a little world where she is famous, talented, and everyone loves her. I find it a little sad, but also entertaining. We will never know the truth about her because this is Bravo, but it is pretty clear her entire mission was fame, no matter who it hurt in her family.
Over at Teresa’s house, she is giving an Italian lesson to her kids. Tre’s kids are fabulous and they need their own show. Milania is perfect TV, Gabriella seems to be trapped in the wrong family, Audrianna is divine, and Gia is a grown up in a child’s body. Teresa and Joe are entertaining and if they don’t get their own show then Bravo is clearly drinking Blk.
Kim goes to Teresa and tells her she does not want her in the fashion show, but wants her to attend. Kim tells her she invited all the women and Teresa agrees to go. She teaches us how to say “you are dead to me” in broken Italian, and I’m left wondering exactly how stupid Bravo thinks the viewers are. We are actually laughing at you Bravo. Know that.
Over at Albie and Christopher’s place, Albie’s "girlfriend" Lindsay is making breakfast for Caroline, Albert and Lauren. Nothing about this family is appealing. They are all nasty, mean and ridiculous. Caroline walks in and immediately slams the smell, and Lindsay is left wondering if her 15 minutes of fame is worth having to deal with Caroline. I’m guessing no.
Caroline is talking about how great all her kids are doing and I’m laughing. None of them appear to be doing that great, are funded by the family, and it’s lame. Caroline is excited to retire with Albert and he says he is wondering about what will happen when he finally does retire and discovers the woman he has been married to for years might actually a bitch. Might?
Oy vey! I could go on and on about that comment, but why bother? I don’t know these people and it’s none of my business, but I will say this: editing can’t be blamed for making Caroline look as bad as she does. She is simply nasty, bitter, and angry. She is out of touch with her husband and grasping onto her kids because they are all she has.
Kathy, who may be the most boring woman in America, is at a meeting for her dessert company. She is working hard to make something happen and her moronic husband is crapping all over her meeting. Why the hell does she not leave him at home? This man is disgusting and if they bring them back it will be another reason why many of us will no longer watch.
Melissa and Joe go to her music meeting and it is freaking hilarious. Melissa makes dumb jokes, Joe is all business about his wife and the fact that she is a true artist, and the guys she is talking to are embarrassing themselves. Melissa is dreaming about her E! True Hollywood Story and the whole thing is oddly sweet. I find Melissa’s delusions to be charming.
Jacqueline and Caroline go to see Kim about the fashion show and I’m bored. Caroline is complaining about being fat, Jacqueline has nothing to say, and Kim is starting up with the crap again. Kim is an idiot for allowing Bravo to use her in this way. I’m sure she is lovely is real life, but she is manipulated here to be horrible. (I’m not sure about the lovely part.)
Teresa invites Jac and Melissa over for a play date/lunch with the kids. Teresa tells Jac she is making chicken nuggets, and is actually making them fresh herself, which I thought was awesome. Jac goes off to sulk by herself and it’s gross. Jac is painfully immature and acts like a teenager. It was silly of her to go over at all, but I guess she wanted camera time.
Caroline takes Lauren to her new store and I could care less. They sank a small fortune into her starting a booth at a salon last year and she closed it down one day after her opening. Now they are giving her an entire store? This family has got to get off of this show. They are pathetic and we are not interested in them other than to have a good laugh.
Sidebar: I feel a little bad for Caroline. When she talks about Lauren needing a little help and her not realizing how fabulous she is, we are reminded that she loves her kids and we once all really liked her. She has become an ugly version of herself and it’s too bad. She was great in the beginning, but has managed to replace all the good with bad.
Jac has a conversation online with Ashlee in Los Angeles and it’s truly sad. She talks to her kid like she is a stranger, and her kid could care less about her mom. Ashlee is clearly a mess and Jac is clearly in denial about it. We’re now at the salon for Kim and Teresa to get hair and makeup done for the fashion show, and yet another ambush of Teresa starts.
Teresa tells the camera she does hair and make up at home, so why go with Kim? She walks into the salon like it’s her first time, but we know she is friends with John and Penny the owners. Kim is salivating at the fact that the PR guy for the salon calls Melissa out as a stripper. Does he even really work there? It all seems fake and scripted for drama.
It is important to note that while I think Teresa is being set up here, it could also be argued that it is actually Melissa being set up. It was shot a year ago and we will never know the truth, so whatever side you are on, remember it is just a TV show and we have no idea what happened. If you want to pick a side, then view it as a soap opera, not reality.
Kim is talking crap about Melissa, and Teresa wants nothing to do with it. She tells the fake salon guy that she does not want to talk about her family, and Kim keeps pushing him. Teresa walks out of the room to avoid being put in a bad position, and Kim is relentless. Kim is a housewife wannabe and it is unfortunate that Bravo chose to include her in this way.
Everyone arrives at the fashion show and it’s stupid. They are all sitting together even though they hate each other. Penny and John from the salon are there and you have to wonder why Bravo does not include them more. They have a front row seat to the truth, yet we never get to hear from them. Something is not kosher in New Jersey people.
The fake salon guy comes over and reminds Melissa that he knows her from her stripping days and it is so scripted I want to scream. I have had 2 glasses of wine and it’s just not enough. Next week is the season finale and all hell is going to break loose. I am exhausted by this show and feel like I am being lied to by everyone involved with filming.
I’m ready for it to be over and at the end of the day I feel bad for everyone. Bravo has painted a dark picture and I don’t think any of them can say it was worth it. The season will end, we will all pick a side, we will get few answers at the reunion, and we will be left unsatisfied and wondering if anyone at Bravo is capable of keeping it real.