Posted by Ilana Angel
I am not a fan of Bethenny Frankel or the crap she peddles. I think her drinks taste horrible, her lies are epic, she cannot keep her stories straight, married for TV, had a baby for TV, puts gag orders on anyone who speaks badly about her, is unwilling to admit that her path to fame and fortune is riddled with bodies she has used and stepped on, and manufactured her childhood. There are so many things to not believe that I don’t understand how people believe anything from this woman. I don’t trust her.
One could assume my review of her show would be biased because I don’t like her and I can appreciate how people see it, however I am one who will give credit where credit is due. There are things to admire about Bethenny Frankel. Mostly how she manages to shut up everybody and hide bodies, but when it comes to her new show there is simply nothing good to say about it. From her opening monologue, which was disjointed, repetitive, and awkward, to her twerking, it was embarrassing for her and painful to watch.
Bethenny starts her show with her talking about her rise to fame. Crapfest. She says she “knows women”. She does not know women, she knows how to manipulate stupid people to buy into her lies. She speaks as though she is simply amazing and that is why she has success. She does not mention that the only reason we watched her reality shows was because of her husband. She then comes out and dances, which is when we notice she has had some kind of unfortunate facial work done which is rather off-putting.
She spends five minutes speaking rather inarticulately about how excited she is and I am rolling my eyes and drinking a real margarita, not her watered down urine version. She welcomes three men to a segment about a man’s perspective. She is vulgar, sexually explicit, and not funny, cute, or endearing. We waste 15 minutes on that then get to section two, where she asks the audience questions they pick from a fish bowl. One woman asks for a hug and cries. Dear Lord. How much did they pay that chick?
This section is lame and I am skipping over it. They then bring out that sexy guy from the salad dressing commercials and Bethenny is sexually explicit and vulgar with him. For someone going through such a “horribly painful divorce”, she certainly is able to find her inner slut quickly. Section three is an interview with Nick Cannon. She talks more about Mariah Carey than Nick, then she attempts to twerk. I can’t. Honestly, she is simply mortifying and I am skipping over the rest of her time with Nick Cannon. Ugh.
She then has Flo Rider come out and sing Wild One. She dances, twerks again, and I am now chugging my drink and wishing it was a double. She tells every guest they are sexy, tells everyone they are her first guest ever, and they all lick it up. She thanks everyone for joining her, says she is going to be with us everyday, and while I am certain she will be a success, I will not be watching again. She is selling her own brand of Kool-Aid and it tastes like crap so I won’t tune in because she is incapable of keeping it real.
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire.
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television.
12.2.13 at 7:12 am | I was bored with all the jumping around.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . .
11.25.13 at 11:14 pm | They started off strong, but tonight tanked.
11.25.13 at 9:02 pm | Some of this episode was uncomfortable to watch.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . . (4038)
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire. (3582)
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television. (3436)
September 8, 2013 | 6:47 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Tonight's typos are generously provided by a Grey Goose.
We are still in Arizona for Melissa’s birthday. Why is it they drag the trips out so long? I am sick of Arizona already and while the horse whisperer was amazing, I am ready to go back to New Jersey. The problem with stretching it out is that we are starting this week already irritated. Everyone is together for a drink and Jac is blubbering about how great Teresa is acting and Caroline immediately wants a fight to start. I have been liking Carline but in the end she is never happy with the calm and thrives on the drama. She is bored and wants a project, like making peace.
Caroline wants everyone to come clean with what is bothering them. Joe goes after Teresa saying she has been trying to hurt Melissa. Joe is going on about Penny trashing Melissa, Teresa denies having anything to do with anything, Joe loses it and yells, then we jump back to 12 hours earlier. It is morning and Joe wants to make out with Melissa. The woman with a “perfect and sexy marriage” never wants anything to do with her husband. Buying that book! Teresa comes in and gives Melissa a pair of panties and it is weird. Teresa tries so hard but misses the mark.
Melissa wants to move on from the cheating rumors. Really? Of course she does. She cheated. Cut to Kathy, Rich and Rosie who are out for a walk. These people clearly don’t walk so the entire thing is stupid. They need to script everything for then so why are they on the show at all? Rich is checked out, Rosie is trying to support Kathy, Kathy is insisting she needs no support, Rosie is crying about how lonely she is. Over with Albert and Caroline, they are rehashing the horse therapy and honestly people I am bored. They are recapping the show and that is my job.
Over at the pool Rich is a moron and other guests are irritated. The women are taking a tennis lesson. Oy vey. They go back and forth between the men who are drinking, and the women who are playing tennis. Joe cheers Juicy and they make peace. The problem is what Joe is saying. Whenever Joe speaks it is as if he is saying exactly what Melissa tells him. He sounds exactly like his wife. Caroline and Albert are on their own, pretending to enjoy each other’s company, and the jumping between the three scenes is a failed attempt at dramatic editing.
Caroline is taking it upon herself to be their therapist and is going to force an argument so there can be peace. Everyone meets up at a trust challenge where they will walk cables and rely on each other. This should e good. I am pouring a drink incase it isn’t. Joe volunteers to go first and Teresa says she will do it with him. Everyone cheers them on. Teresa and Joe are cute but I am distracted by Melissa’s outfit. Really? She’s keeping it classy. Rich and Kathy go next and he is useless and not funny. Everyone is taking a shot and the music is the best part of the scene.
Melissa says she will do it and Joe sends Teresa to do it with her. They are trying while Joe conveniently gets a text from Penny saying it was Teresa who started the rumors about Melissa cheating. I have interviewed Penny and she is lovely, but she is not looking good here. Why is Joe checking Twitter while his wife and sister make peace? Oh Bravo. You are so transparent. By transparent of course I mean idiotic. Everyone is now getting ready for dinner. Caroline is a doctor, Melissa is lying, and I am pouring drink number two and waiting for Danielle on WWHL.
Melissa says what Joe wants, which she knows because she also tells Joe what he wants. Melissa is wearing an outfit from her stripper days and everyone is sitting down to dinner. Watching Rosie chew with her mouth open is grossing me out. Here come the dirty jokes. Joe gives Melissa a cake and her wish is for the tweeting about her cheating to stop. Really? She has three kids and that is her wish? Okay. Melissa makes a toast/speech and leaves out Teresa. What a bitch. It was not nice and Caroline immediately calls her out to the camera, but not to Melissa.
Everyone is sitting around having drinks, marveling at them all being together. Then Caroline jumps in and stirs the shit. She wants everyone’s heart to be clean and not simply have a band-aid on it. She says she is willing to be a bad guy because she is not into the fakeness anymore. Good for her I guess. I wonder if she gets paid more to be the bad guy? Joe jumps in and talks about the cheating to Teresa, pointing the finger at Penny. Teresa is defending herself and says Penny got info from Melissa’s friend Jan not her. Teresa does not want to talk about it anymore.
Teresa denies, Melissa mocks, Joe is freaking out, and this is lame. Juicy defends Teresa and Joe wants Teresa to shut Penny up. Teresa says she is not interested in giving Penny any power, Joe loses it and throws his drink, to which Melissa ushers him out and calls him an idiot. Great wife. She then tells the camera Joe has a heart ten times bigger than his temper and she loves him for it. Really? She loves him but calls him an idiot and tells him he is embarrassing her on camera? Melissa and Teresa may both be lying on some level, but Teresa is not malicious and Melissa is.
Juicy hugs Joe, Teresa says she will go with Joe to deal with Penny, and Melissa is talking crap about how she is letting it go. Something is not kosher in Jersey. They go Soprano and yell support of each other as Albert ends the episode with a heartfelt “get it done”. Next week we will be back in New Jersey and Melissa and Joe will meet with Penny, in what looks like a scene that does not include Teresa. I’m sure that was Melissa’s idea. This week has some good moments and in the end Caroline pushing the issues allowed them all to start keeping it real.
September 7, 2013 | 9:17 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
My writing about LeAnn took an interesting turn this week. I wrote that I thought her sending encouraging tweets of love to people who were being anti-Semitic, made her just as guilty of hate against me based on my faith as those saying the hate filled things. She did not take it well and the attacks on me were swift, and ultimately an attempt to get me fired from my job writing for jewishjournal.com. I was called a hate blogger and accused of trying to extort LeAnn Rimes. Dear Lord. I think this woman is insane and for her to rally fans to work on her behalf makes her delusional.
Some freak on Twitter named Mary something, who claims to be an attorney, said by my saying if LeAnn dropped her lawsuit against a Special Education teacher and her daughter I would no longer write about her, was extortion. By definition, extortion is criminal offense of unlawfully obtaining money, property, or services from a person, entity, or institution, through coercion. Clearly this “attorney” does not understand what extortion is, but she tweeted it to Ms. Rimes and it was on. The letters started coming, and another Twitter troll named Ginger something led the charge. It was shocking.
People wrote to my editor, they wrote to me, and before I could catch my breath, from laughing, Twitter trolls went crazy demanding I be fired. The fact is I write about Ms. Rimes because this is a blog about reality television and pop culture, and she is someone who anyone writing about these things would write about. I have never lied, and everything I have written about her is based on the words and actions of Ms. Rimes herself. I comment on what she puts out into the universe herself. It is simply my opinion on the things she does, and if she is worried about people having opinions about her she should be more careful.
Not only did they go crazy on me, they also went crazy on my friend Brandi Glanville, saying she was paying me to write about LeAnn. It would appear the average age of LeAnn’s followers on Twitter is about 14. I love Brandi. She is my friend and we talk about important things like raising sons, acne after 40, my broken heart, our search for love, cooking, family, and the advantages of dating Jewish men. We do not discuss Ms. Rimes because she has nothing to do with our friendship. Just as LeAnn has nothing to do with my friendship with Brandi, Brandi has nothing to do with my writing about LeAnn.
I write about LeAnn and I also write about Brandi, because it is my job. While Brandi and me certainly talk about our work, LeAnn simply does not come up in conversation. If Brandi was not friends with people who had unflattering things to say about Ms. Rimes she would have no friends, and if LeAnn were all I spoke about to Brandi, she would not want to be my friend. Brandi is a girl’s girl and she has helped and supported me as a girlfriend should. Our friendship is private and I value her. It is a shame she got sucked into my drama. I do not compromise my work by talking with anyone about what I am going to write. Ever.
There are a lot of people saying a lot of unflattering things about LeAnn Rimes. I am singled out I guess because I have a forum to talk about her on a large scale and I'm not intimidated by her threats. To imply it is extortion however, is quite comical. If these people want to talk about extortion, perhaps they should look to her legal/management team, as they spend a lot of time trying to shut me up. They get paid by the hour to try to take away my free speech, knowing it is impossible, so is charging Ms. Rimes for those services not extortion? It makes no sense and begs the question, why does she care so much? The only reason it bothers her is because it is truth.
For professional people in the entertainment industry to write to the Jewish Journal, their sponsors and affiliates to tell them to fire me is odd. I am writing about what she does in the public. Why are they simply not contacting Ms. Rimes and telling her to get off Twitter? Furthermore, how is it this conflict has anything to do with faith? I am Jewish, I write for a Jewish publication, but my work does not make me a bad Jew, or them bad Jews for printing it. I am a popular writer who happens to be Jewish, and my boss is brave for allowing my voice to be heard.
I work hard. I have a loyal and supportive following who see the humor in what I write. I am also a mother who has raised a child alone. I am a mother, daughter, sister, friend, boss, employer, and Jew. Perhaps if Ms. Rimes were a mother she would think twice about trying to get a mother fired, or punishing a mother with 6 children who teaches children with special needs into financial hardship by suing her for something that was her own fault. Ms Rimes has, in my opinion, lost her way, is out of control, and using her crazy to get crazier to harrass me.
It is because I am decent that I put the needs of others before my own, and tell Ms. Rimes that if she drops her lawsuit against Kim Smiley I will stop writing about her. It is not extortion. It is decency. This is how I make my living and frankly she is good for business, but Kim Smiley is more important and if my taking Rimes off my list of topics helps her, I will. I’m a giver like that. To those plotting to sue or give ultimatums to my editor in an attempt to get him to fire me, I simply say whatever. I look forward to hearing from you and will try not to laugh.
Important to clarify that my blogs about LeAnn Rimes are not mean, they are truth. Leann's lawsuit against Kim and Lexi Smiley is mean, and not truth. I am not saying I will stop writing mean and negative blogs about her if she drops the case. I am saying I will not write about her at all. I will leverage the distress my blog causes her to help Kim Smiley. It's not brain surgery, or extortion, it is kindness. If she can do the right thing I will leave her alone, even though she is someone I am paid to write about.
There is a lot of gossip going on right now about Ms. Rimes and if I were a gossip writer I would be all over it. I will leave the breaking gossip news to the fearless and funny @Just_Say_Jenn and stick to giving commentary on shows and people we love to watch. I am proud of my work, appreciate those who read it, and am grateful for an editor who fights for my voice to be heard. At the end of the day I feel pity for Ms. Rimes. Her career has stalled, her husband has strayed, and she is unable and unwilling to simply keep quiet, and keep it real.
September 3, 2013 | 7:20 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
We are still in Arizona. I’m not sure how they managed to turn 3 days in the desert to what feels like 6 episodes, but we all know the editors over at Bravo are not too bright. Melissa is awake and complaining. She is sick, but feeling better and ready for a drink by the pool and less therapy.
Jac is at breakfast with Chris still talking about Teresa’s comment about karma, which Chris thinks is about his son. For the love of God. That was not what she said and Jac is a moron. He should know better than to think his wife understood anything correctly. She is not a smart girl.
Time for horse therapy and the whole gang is going. In regards to the editing, Teresa is with Jac and Chris and Joe comes to get them, telling them they are late and need to get going. Cut to a bus and they are arriving, but everyone’s clothes are different. The editing here sucks.
Wyatt is the therapist and I start off thinking he is full of crap, but I quickly learn he is brilliant. Melissa is not into him, Caroline is flirting with him, everyone is skeptible, Rich is offensive and Chris offers to go first. They are going to approach a horse and clean his hoof.
Rich makes fun of Wyatt who quickly puts him in hi place saying Rich makes jokes to avoid his feelings. Nice. Rosie is up next. She cries and it comes out that she is uncomfortable being her. I love this woman. Love her. That said, her “I’m a lonely lesbian” storyline needs to be done.
Bravo needs to get Rosie off of this show and give her a show of her own. We need a dating show for Rosie. We all want her to find love and feel worthy so help her bravo. We would all watch her date and search for love. Rosie is a wonderful woman and we want her to b happy.
Melissa is up next and we are immediately reminded how stupid she is. Wyatt tells her she walks like a whore on a stroll and I am loving this guy. Melissa does not understand the exercise, or his questions. He calls her manipulative, which makes Juicy laugh, which is awesome.
Melissa is offended by Wyatt’s take of her. Well, she would be uncomfortable if she understood what was going on. Melissa can’t do it and gets Joe’s help. Joe can’t do it and gets Teresa’s help. Teresa can’t do it. They refuse to be vulnerable because they are busy being idiots.
Time for Kathy and Rich. As they take their turn Juicy leaves to take a phone call and Teresa runs after him. Considering his past phone calls while on a group vacation I would go after him too. Turns out it is Milania and they take the call. When your kids call you take the call.
Rich and Kathy are silly. Kathy implies their relationship is very troubled, Rich indicates he has no idea, and I am bored. This couple bring nothing of interest to the show. The phone call from Milania is more interesting that the Wakile’s. I am going to skip over them before I fall asleep.
Wyatt is annoyed by Juicy and Teresa being on the phone, then it is Jac’s turn. She is crying for no reason. Probably because after major reconstructive surgery, she still has no neck. She cries, Teresa hugs her, and it is a kumbaya moment. Blah, blah, blah. It is Juicy’s turn.
Juicy admits he is nervous about his pending legal trouble and everyone is shocked he was willing to admit it in this forum. I feel sad for this man and his family. No matter what he did, and we know he did something, he has four young kids and a loving wife and time in prison will be sad.
Juicy goes in again and gets the job done. I like this man. I feel bad for him, would make out for him if he were not married, and pray for his family. Time for Albert and Caroline. Albert cries and you see how impressive Wyatt and this type of therapy is. I feel sad for Albert.
He appears to not have any connection to his wife, who is desperately in love with him, and it is uncomfortable to watch. This scene would be much more powerful if he were not wearing a blk. hat, but still it is touching. Caroline’s marriage does not look fulfilling to loving to me. Bless her.
Everyone is talking about the horse therapy. Kathy is making it about her being slighted by Teresa and Juicy. Teresa did not get it, Melissa is an idiot, Jac and Chris are talking about Teresa which we al know is all Jac has to talk about, other than her child. There is no storyline here.
Teresa and Juicy are in a hot tub and I am over their water scenes. You can see the torment and fear on Teresa’s face, and feel the fear of Juicy. I am buying into all of it until Teresa says Juicy does not deserve to be going through this. If he did something wrong, then yes he does.
I hope it all works out for them and they are able to avoid jail time and be with their kids. Time for a little Navajo music and dance by the fire. I love the Navaho guy and the entire group is bored out of their minds and wanting a drink more than the drumming of Native American drums.
Rosie says that Kathy was disrespected when she did the horse exercise. Teresa defends herself and says she is always going to take a call from her kids. Kathy is mumbling and again, I am out. I do not pay attention to anything this family says. They need to be let go already.
Rich, who has been saying Juicy needs to go to jail, now says he hopes he does not go. Whatever. Teresa and Jac go off to have a burning ceremony and I am drinking to make this go aster. Teresa is wasting her time with this woman. She will hurt her in the end we all know it.
I am done and these last couple of minutes are of no interest to me. Bravo to Teresa for trying to mend fences, but this is all a waste of time. Next week there ill be more fighting, because of Melissa, and it will go down. Same crap, different day. This show is no longer keeping it real.