Posted by Ilana Angel
We are back in the heart of Crazytown, getting ready to go on the big retreat. It is lame, and while I appreciate Teresa is trying, it is a waste of our time, and no good can come of this. We start the retreat preparation with Joe and Melissa, who are both negative and miserable. Melissa is talking shit about Teresa, Joe is defending his lying wife, and they are talking all their crap in front of their kids. It is disgusting.
The kids are cute, but in a scene where it is about how cute they are, Melissa looks into the camera, as if to ask why aren’t you pointed at me? Hilarious. Over to Juicy and Tre, they are packing for the retreat and again, the conversation is in front of the kids, which I think is really horrible. Cut to Kathy and Rich, who are boring as hell. I am over Kathy, her husband is a jackass. Who cares?
Melissa and Joe pick up Rich, Kathie, and Rosie. None of them are going in with an open mind, they are all bitter and negative, and I feel sorry for Teresa. She is going in with hope, and everyone else is going in with hate. Assholes. Cut to Rosie who is sad everyone is not opening their hearts to change. I like Rosie, and while she is not coming off great this season, she is inherently good and wants peace in her family. I admire that.
Melissa says on camera that Juicy cheats on Teresa and does not love her, then says that Teresa wants Melissa to go through all the things in life she does, so she is trying to ruin her marriage because it is so miserable for her. Melissa is an idiot, a backstabber, and the cheater. I am so sick of this woman and her lies. I know we see what Bravo wants us to see, but if I were her, I would quit the show if it was all lies, but there she is.
Melissa is a fame whore who is milking the love of her husband, killing the reputation of her father, and humiliating her kids for money. Her book is a waste of trees and anyone who buys it is seriously in need of a good drink and a kick in the ass. Teresa is telling Juicy that Jac and Chris are coming, which is insanity. Juicy says Jac texted him and I am laughing. Jac needs to be in a mental facility/rehab. She is revolting beyond measure.
Cut to Caroline who is not going to the retreat. She is in a park with Albert, trying to make us think they are happily married, but nobody is buying it. I feel sorry for Caroline. She is trying, he is not that into her, her kids are unable to support themselves, and she carries the weight of her entire family. She is trying to sell books, so bless her, but her family is a mess, no matter how much she tries to label everyone else living in a mess.
Over to Chris and Jac, they are talking about Nicolas and how hard their lives are. All they have to talk about is how hard it is with their son, and how horrible Teresa is. Why are they even here? Jac is an idiot and should not be on television. They bring nothing to the show, they are using their child to make money, and I am repulsed by them. I honestly think Jac is medicated, and not in a good way. What a useless hag she is.
Everyone arrives to the retreat, which is in a beautiful place. Teresa greets them and is told that Caroline and Jac are not coming, and it will be the family only. Perfect. Kathy says Jac is busy with Nick, and Teresa calls her out on it. If she is so focused on her son, why is she always on Twitter? Then Teresa asks Melissa about Jac, and Mel says she is not on Twitter. Is she high? Melissa is on Twitter every single day. It is laughable.
Melissa likes to retweet every compliment she gets. It is hilarious. Melissa not on Twitter? Okay. Everyone is having a drink at the retreat, but not together. Kathy, Rich, Melissa, Joe and Rosie are having a drink, while Teresa and Juicy are by themselves having a drink. Rich is stirring up shit and I want to punch him. What a loser. He needs to realize he is not a housewife and shut up already. Nobody likes this guy.
Everyone is talking about Jac and it is weird. Why are they are not all together? This is the beginning of a perfect storm. Juicy says Jac is using Nick as an excuse, and I agree. He then talks shit about autism, which was not malicious, just not particularly bright. Cut to lunchtime and everyone is now together to eat. Teresa is being sweet, everyone is ignoring her, and I want to scream at her to get out. No good can come of this.
This is horrible to watch. Rich is ruining it, Melissa is ruining it, Kathy is ruining it, Joe is ruining it, and Rosie and Teresa are left struggling. The team builders arrive and Melissa and Kathy assume they are useless. Why even go if you are going to knock it? I cannot watch. The activities are supposed to help, but if you are going to mock it, there is no help to be found. Granted the team builders are a little lame.
They start the games and Juicy is into it, Melissa implies Juicy is mentally deficient and I am laughing because Melissa is a complete moron, so for her to call someone dumb is almost cute. Bless her. The trainers are talking about the family being loyal, and everyone is talking about Jac instead of focusing on who is there. This is stupid. Joe and Teresa start talking, Melissa speaks for Joe, Juicy speaks for Teresa. Oy vey.
Joe says he is glad Jac didn’t come because it is about family, but Teresa is still talking about Jac. Teresa is shooting herself in the foot. Enough with Jac already. The trainer is trying to get them on track, but it is not happening. Rosie takes Juicy out of the room so that stumbling block is gone and the team builders can do their job. Everyone is talking and the team builders have no control. Joe speaks and it is as if Melissa is talking. Juicy and Rosie are drinking and bless Juicy for even bring there.
Melissa is all about the drama and while this is horrible, it is also hilarious. Melissa is acting, doing it all for Joe, and it is shocking. The team leaders are useless, Melissa is a manipulative whore, and Teresa was never going to fix this. They have painted her into a corner and will never accept her back in the fold. I feel sad for Teresa, but more for Joe. He is sleeping with the enemy and unable to see the true devil that she is.
For the love of God, we have invested so much time in these people, and they are giving us a shit fest. It cannot go on. They need to dismantle this cast, cut their loses, and start over. It makes no sense that they continue, and certainly no sense that we watch. Joe is telling the team leaders it is a waste of time, Teresa is telling Joe he needs to side with the family, and Joe calls her scum. Here we go. It is on people.
Teresa tells Juicy Joe called her scum, Juicy goes to Joe and demands an apology, then Joe attacks Juicy. The big fight that has been used for ads all week, is really happening during the next episode. I am embarrassed for these people and embarrassed for those of us who watch. I feel sad for all their children, and wonder how it is that these people put money and fame in front of family, peace, love, and keeping it real.
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire.
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television.
12.2.13 at 7:12 am | I was bored with all the jumping around.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . .
11.25.13 at 11:14 pm | They started off strong, but tonight tanked.
11.25.13 at 9:02 pm | Some of this episode was uncomfortable to watch.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . . (3941)
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire. (3371)
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television. (3336)
July 13, 2013 | 5:34 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
LeAnn Rimes was a guest “actress” on Anger Management this week. By actress of course I mean she played a whore, which doesn’t make her an actress, as much as simply playing herself on a sitcom. Typecasting. In watching the show and hearing her lines, I honestly felt sad for her. Charlie Sheen and the writers were clearly making fun of her, but she does not seem to get that. Poor girl really is incredibly dumb.
If anyone who helps decide her career cared about her, they would not have allowed her to do this show. When she is so carefully watched and easily scrutinized for her behavior, to play a whore when everyone thinks she is a whore, it not the way to go. She is not a good actress and Anger Management proved it. It also proved that she is an idiot, and with the epic failure of her record, she is now clearly desperate for work.
She is a child star gone bad, which leads us to Justin Bieber. He is a sweet boy and I appreciate his talent and generosity of spirit when it comes to children’s charities. I am a Belieber. I love his music, and am not ashamed to admit it. I am troubled however by what a douchebag he has become. Also disturbing is his mother’s attitude towards her son’s behavior. She is milking his fame for herself with a book tour, and it is gross.
I don’t care that he is 19, she is his mother and the kid needs a mom, not a woman who is going to keep quiet while he unravels and puts everything he has accomplished in jeopardy. Justin needs to grow up if he wants to be treated like a grown up. Forget about putting on his big boy pants, he needs to simply pull up his pants and look at what is happening. Nothing really bad has transpired yet, but it is truly just a matter of time.
I feel sad for Justin. He needs a helping hand and it is unfortunate that he seems to be left to his own devices, a lot. I am not particularly concerned with the pot smoking, tattoos, or erratic driving. He is 19 and he will figure those things out. But peeing in a kitchen bucket and telling a President to F off is not cute, not cool, and unacceptable. I don’t care that he called President Clinton to apologize. Not enough. Not even close.
He needs to go to the hotel kitchen where he relieved himself, and apologize to the person who had to clean out his urine from the bucket for minimum wage. Money and fame does not excuse this behavior, in fact, it makes it worse. A young man with such privilege should stop to consider that he is rich and famous because we made him rich and famous. It is our hard earned money that enables him to live the life he does.
I get that he has been on his own since he was 14, appreciate he is at an age where he is faced with difficult choices, in an industry where money talks and he is surrounded by people who are paid to say yes, but if he is not careful he will end up like Amanda Bynes, who is simply lost. I love Amanda, and have since she was a little girl and my son would watch her on Nickelodeon. I don’t understand what is happening with her.
I think Amanda is a lovely girl. She is beautiful and talented and I really hope that whatever she is going through is temporary, and she comes out the other side alive, well and whole. Even through this dark patch, she is still funny and I’d be lying if I told you I did not laugh every time she tells paparazzi they are ugly. She is alone and that is sad, but I want her to know people love her and she matters very much to her fans.
We don’t know what is going on in these people’s lives away from the camera, so this not about judgment, just sharing my opinion on what I see. I see LeAnn Rimes is playing a whore on TV to try to stay famous. I see Justin Bieber is growing up too fast and needs his mother to step up to the plate. I see Amanda Bynes is flailing and I wish I could help her. Sadly all I can do is keep the faith that she can keep it real.
July 8, 2013 | 8:27 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Before we even get started, I just want to say that I think Lauri Peterson is vile. She is so desperate for money and fame that she is selling her soul to the devil to get it. She is on a mission to hurt Vicki and for Bravo to allow it, is ridiculous. I think Lauri is an idiot who married well, if you think marrying a pig is marrying well. It is only my opinion of course, but this is America and I get to share my truth, so there you have it.
We start with Alexis and Lydia, who are talking about the upcoming girls trip to Canada. As a proud Canadian I am thrilled they are going to the Motherland, and grossed out that these bitches are going to the Motherland. Alexis gives Lydia a bible to give her comfort during the trip, should the ladies act up. It is a lovely gift, I collect bibles, and so nice job. It made no sense really, and was ust a way to give Alexis camera time and suck up to the bible belt.
Cut to Tamra and Heather shopping for Canada, which is just an excuse for Heather to talk about how she booked another sitcom. Blah, blah, blah. She’s an actress. We get it. They are talking about Lauri going on the trip and let me just ask, why? She is not a part of this group and she should not be going. Dumb bitch. Tamra tells Heather about the gossiping that Lauri and Gretchen are doing about Vicki. I feel bad for Vicki.
Gretchen, Alexis, and Vicki are all packing for Whistler, and the camera goes back and forth between the three of them. Gretchen is an airhead. Dear Lord she is dumb. Alexis might actually be smarter than Gretchen. Vicki is Vicki and that she is being ripped apart, as the only original housewife, is lame. It’s only a television show of course, and there is not a lot of reality, but the reality is that Lauri is evil and she should be let go. Again.
Lydia has the most glorious hair and Lauri’s face is actually caving in from so much work being done to it. The gang arrives in Canada and it is awesome. I grew up in BC and to see it, if only for a second, is great. Heather brings up her sitcom and she is so hell bent on proving that she is a real actress, she makes a fool out of herself. Who cares Heather? Gretchen and Alexis got calls too, but it was NOT THE SAME PART. Got it Heather.
They arrive in Whistler and Lydia’s uncle arrives, as he has driven up from Vancouver. Come on! Does anyone else notice that he looks EXACTLY liker her husband. Seriously! It is creepy, but sexy, but creepy, but still sexy is a completely creepy way. The ladies all arrive to meet Uncle Handsome and Vicki is chummy with Lauri, which pisses off Tamra because she is annoyed by the rumors Lauri is spreading. Tamra better step up.
They are all having a drink, flirting with Uncle Handsome. Vicki is pointed out as being the single one, and Uncle Greg lets everyone know he has a girlfriend. Smart man. Heather is leaving, after 6 hours. So freaking stupid. She never should have gone, and only went so she could talk about her sitcom, because remember, SHE IS AN ACTRESS. This show sucks and before you comment on the typos, I’m on my 2nd glass of wine in 29 minutes.
They head up the mountain to ski and Lauri, who is mentally deficient, says there will be “flat hills up there”. Dear Lord. Gretchen and Lauri immediately start talking about Vicki’s threesomes. Lauri is now denying she said it was a threesome, which is ridiculous. Tamra is going to step up and tell Vicki, so good for her. Alexis does not believe the rumor is true, so good for her. I hope Lauri is called out for being the garbage she is.
Sidebar: Who wears this much make up to go skiing? False eyelashes? In the snow? Really? Dumbasses. Those who ski are skiing, those who board are boarding, and Tamra takes Vicki off to tell her about what Lauri has been saying. Important to note that I would be surprised if Vicki were on a ski team. Ever. Tamra spills the beans and Vicki is pissed by the accusation of her ever doing something so filthy. I hope Vicki goes ape shit on Lauri.
Tamra tells Vicki to talk to Gretchen. Good for Tamra. Gretchen comes over and Vicki asks her about the rumors. Gretchen tells Vicki what whorebag said and Gretchen is mad at Tamra for telling Vicki. Gretchen thinks Tamra needs to pick a side and be friends with either her or Vicki, but not both. Gretchen says Lauri said she cheated, Vicki admits that she cheated, but she was separated, and Gretchen says she is a serious liar.
Vicki has no problem with the fact that she cheated, it is the threesome that she is struggling with because that is dirty and Vicki does not do dirty. Bless her. Vicki reminds Gretchen that she cheated on Jeff, and that sets Gretchen over the edge. Gretchen calls Vicki an idiot as Lydia, Alexis and Lauri arrive. Vicki confronts Lauri, and Lauri denies she ever said she had a threesome, only that she was in bed with two people. Oy vey.
I am willing to bet my right boob, which is fabulous, that Vicki never had a threesome. I am also willing to double up and throw in the left one that Lauri has. This is so stupid. They are screaming at each other like lunatics and I am mortified that I am watching. Lauri has an agenda. Shame on her. Vicki cheated, got it. Lauri is garbage. Did I say that already? Lauri says she feels betrayed and I am laughing my ass off.
She talked about Vicki ON CAMERA, so how was she betrayed? I am so over this show. Fun to blog about, but more to point out how gross they are as opposed to how entertaining they are. Vicki is pissed but in her childish tantrum she looks crazy, and more interestingly, guilty. Who cares? These woman are not only the oldest franchise, but their storylines are old. I hate this show and I only watch now to blog and keep it real.
July 7, 2013 | 11:14 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
*Typos brought to you courtesy of boredom, and just not caring about this show.
The only reason I am still watching this show is for the “help me” episode, but the bastards at Bravo keep teasing us, and have yet to show it. At this point I’m too far in to quit now, so I will keep blogging. I want it to be very clear however, that I think this show sucks and these women are embarrassing. That said, it is entertaining to follow them on Twitter. They are ridiculous, think people are laughing with them not at them, and get offended when people don’t think this is a sitcom, not a reality show.
This week starts with Chanel and her mother going wedding dress shopping with her younger sister Ashley. Ashley is getting married and Chanel is not happy about it. Well, she is happy for her of course, but not happy that she is older, single, and feeling pressure to marry. She is a young girl and I feel bad for her because the pressure she is feeling from her family, and putting on herself, is too much. I get she is sad, but she is sucking the joy out of the experience for her sister and that is not cool. Bless her, but not cool.
Casey, Ashlee, and Chanel are at a Jewish speed-dating event. Casey’s clothes are unfortunate, Joey reminds me of Bethenny, who I think is disgusting, and Ashlee is actually starting to grow on me. She is a caricature, but cute. The entire scene makes me want to cut my eyes out. Casey is not into anyone because she thinks she is too good for them and clearly has issues with men. Ashlee is giving it a real chance and trying to meet someone, Joey is a bitch like Bethenny.
Joey is nightmare. Casey calls her low class, and Ashlee is ignoring her because her behavior is unbecoming. Joey does not understand why they are ignoring her. Really? Because you are a crazy bitch. Ashlee says she has a laundry list of reasons why she does not like Joey, and she doesn’t do laundry. Funny. Joey leaves annoyed, Casey is devoid of personality, and I feel bad Ashlee was not cuter sooner because the damage is already done.
Amanda is planning a party for her drink hanky. For the love of God, is she serious? This is the dumbest thing ever and whoever buys it has money burning a whole in their pocket. She is doing a party at a salon because the clientele there is classy and high end, like her product. I am laughing my ass off. Cut to Joey, who is now going out with Erica for drinks. Erica burps in the car, probably because she has been drinking. I don’t get Erica. I mean I get that she is a complete slut, but I don’t get who she is as a person.
Joey tells Erica about the speed dating, which causes Erica’s face to contort in a weird way. Not cute. Erica is annoyed by her boyfriend, who keeps checking in on her. I feel bad for Rob and hope they are broken up by now. She is not ready to settle down and is into sleeping around. Nothing wrong with that, just break up with your boyfriend first. Joey says Erica does not know how to flirt and oozes sex appeal. Are we seeing what she sees? Erica is not sexy, Joey makes no sense, and Erica is slutting around.
Ashlee has a date from the speed-dating event and I am dying. She is 30 years old and her dad is interrogating him in the living room. For the love of God. I would die if I was living at home at 30 and had to have dates pick me up there. Ashlee is not into him, but she is gracious and it was sweet. She threw him under the bus in the one-on-one interview, but on the date she was sweet, so good for her. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t get her life, think she is a bad stereotype of what it means to be Jewish, but she is harmless.
Cut to Erica who is talking to her dad. He has asked her to come help him in the office for the summer, but she has not shown up. Erica says having a work ethic in the summer is really hard because hello, it is summer. I feel sad for the parents of these girls who are clearly torn between loving their children, and wanting to kick their asses. As a mother myself, I don’t can’t imagine my son being home at 30 and having me take care of him. I love my kid more than anything else in the world, but by 30 he has got to be on his on.
Chanel is crying about her sister getting married again. She feels pressure to get married and that everyone is judging her for not being married. I am not Modern Orthodox, so I cannot comment on what it is like in her community, but I am willing to bet tsome of the drama is in her head. I love Chanel, but enough. Sidebar: Casey has a problem pronouncing the word weird. Are we going to hear the poor me sobs for the rest of the season.
Amanda is with Jeff getting ready for her party and it is hilarious. They are a weird couple. That said, they are entertaining, and by entertaining of course I mean annoying. I’m glad they are happy and it’s always nice when someone delusional can meet someone else delusional, and live happily ever after. Bless them. The party is on and Joey arrives, bringing a gift for Amanda, which makes her cry, and it was sweet. I am clearly not drinking enough if I think these women are cute and not repulsive.
Chanel and Ashlee arrive, and Joey has decided to ignore Ashlee. How old are these chicks? Everyone is dancing, and I am done, so we will skip over the dance party. Jeff is talking to Rob, who tells him Erica is out of control. I like Jeff and Rob. Then Chanel gets into a fight. Chanel? Yup. Someone pics a fight with Chanel, she is explaining it to Amanda, and Ashlee is trying to control the situation by keeping everyone away from Chanel. Turns our sweet little Chanel is scrappy, and will knock a bitch out if needed.
Joey comes in to see what is going on and Ashlee is trying to kick her out. Joey is pissed at Ashlee, Ashlee is screaming at Joey, and it is ridiculous. There are now multiple fights going on and it is lame. Chanel is a pit bull, Ashlee is a pistol, Joey is a bitch, and the insane level of immaturity ruins Amanda’s party. Next week will be better because I will replace the empty bottles of tequila that I broke open to be able to lick the inside. These women are not good television and Bravo needs to keep it real.
July 7, 2013 | 9:40 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Married to Medicine was brilliant reality television. It was real in the way that a reality show can only be real in the first season. The show has been picked up for another season, so we will see who comes back. No matter who returns, it will never be as good as it was when we first met them. They will change who they are for the cameras and fame, so we’ll get more crap next time round. It will still be good, just not the same.
One of the stars was Dr. Simone Whitmore. I blogged about the show for the entire season and spoke with several of the women. They were all lovely, all had things to share, but Simone is truly one of my favorites. Not only as a reality personality, but as a person. We chat on Twitter, she reads my blog, and I think she, along with her husband and kids, are not only good television, but also good people.
Dr. Simone and I spoke this week and she is hilarious. I asked her what she thought of the women and she responded with “bitches are crazy”. It was not said with an ounce of meanness, only truth and laughter. She is a real woman, with a real job, real opinions, and no fear in sharing them. She appreciates that she is being judged as a representative for African American women, but she is only concerned with being herself.
Simone is a working mom who happens to be black, not just a black woman on television. Her goal when deciding to do a reality show was to be authentic. She knew everyone was going to show a bit of crazy, and wanted to be real and own hers. She loves her work, loves her husband, and loves her kids. She is dedicated to all and will not apologize for the love she has for her profession. The show is about moms and wives, not black moms and wives.
I asked Simone how things are with the women now that the season is over no shooting is happening, or even been confirmed, for next year. She said that after the fight everything changed and they are not a real group of friends. They all know each other of course, but they are not all friends and she wonders how that will play out on season two. She likes the women, and appreciates the gifts they bring, but is not friends with all of them.
Simone shared that she auditioned to part of the daytime talk show The Doctors 5 years ago, and when the opportunity for M2M came up, Cecil did not want her to do it. They have been married for 17 years and have a real partnership, so after discussions as a couple and family, they decided it would be fun. To hear her speak of her relationship with Cecil is sweet. She talks about him with respect and says he is the best father in the world.
Important to note that I have a crush on Cecil. I love how he loves his children and respects his wife. I love his fully stocked bar, and that he cooks. In the interest of full disclosure, I have shared my inappropriate feelings for her husband with Simone and have been invited to be a sister wife, if I am willing to do the laundry. I’m in. Having seen the bar, I will not only do the laundry, but I will vacuum because we all know I like to drink.
I asked Dr. Simone to tell me three words that best described her ad she chose witty, smart, and motivated. I would use funny, authentic, and straight. This woman answers questions quickly and with conviction. There is no need for her to think about a good answer would be, she simply gives her truth. She seems very loyal and trustworthy, which is odd for me to assess after a phone call, but that is the vibe she gives so I’m going to share it.
Simone and Jackie are good fiends. She met Mariah about 10 years ago and likes her. She thinks Kari constantly saying Americans don’t understand her sense of humor is bullshit and Kari is simply offensive. She thinks Toya is not malicious, just stupid and immature. She didn’t mention Quad, or I forgot to ask, but I love Quad and since Simone didn’t make a point of saying anything specific about her, I will assume Simone is cool with Quad.
Simone said she went into the reunion angry and had a little vodka to take the edge off. I love it that our favorite OBGYN loves herself some vodka. She felt Mariah took things too personally, and that she was not on team Toya. She was embarrassed by some of the behavior of her costars, but she understood how it got to the place it did, and is proud of how she conducted herself. She loved the experience and will do it again.
Simone is not on the show to compete against the other women. She loves her life and is there to share what her life is like, not rip apart anyone else. Dr. Simone is a role model to a lot of women and her race is irrelevant. She has a successful and loving marriage, an important and stressful job, two young sons, and juggles it all with grace, laughter and class. Maybe vodka helps, but with or without booze, Dr. Simone is keeping it real.
July 7, 2013 | 6:25 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
* Typos brought to you by Merlot.
I love this show and it is still my favorite of the Housewives franchise. But it is so old and tired that I find it difficult to watch. Teresa is the only interesting one, and Jac needs to be fired. For real. She brings NOTHING to this show, uses her child as a storyline, and is making it very difficult to watch. We start this week with Jac’s whining voice at Kathy’s new kitchen.
Caroline, Jac and Rosie are all there to see the new kitchen, which is lame. Why would they care? Because they are scripted to care. Rosie is telling them about her meeting with Teresa, and is accurate in her recounting of their meeting. Rosie tells them all about the retreat and invites them to go to with Teresa and Joe to try and fix their fractured family.
Caroline does not want to go, Jac says she is not interested, but that is only because she has not realized it will result in camera time. Jac is a moron. Cut to Teresa’s, where her parents are coming over to make sausages. Everyone has on an apron but Gia hates it. Juicy asks why, Tre says it is because she is going through puberty, and Milania says Gia is having a baby.
For the love of God, give this woman and her kids their own show already. Milania Giudice is the funniest person on television. For real. Teresa’s parents arrive and it is sad to see her dad, knowing how sick he has been, but also lovely to see him, knowing how sick he has been. Teresa loves her parents and her brother, but she needs to get out of her own way.
In her one-on-one interviews she manages to always throw a jab, which I get, but she is preaching to the choir. We see what is happening, and her constantly pointing it out makes her look bad, and she is not the bad one. Cut to Joe, he is with Richie, who is the most revolting man on TV. He is a pig and Bravo should ban him from Twitter for being an ass.
Teresa calls Joe to invite him to the retreat to build trust. He takes the call, makes a cute joke about him wanting money for his dry cleaning, and tells her he will talk to his whore/wife, and see what her thoughts are. Joe tells Rich about it and instead of Rich supporting his friend, he is a complete dumbass. Joe wants to go because he loves her and wants to try.
I love Joe for wanting to go. I love Joe, and every time he has not come across well it is because of Melissa, not him. Back at Teresa’s she is telling Juicy about her meeting with Rosie and her desire to go on the retreat. Sidebar: The editing of this show sucks. It is obviously not in any order that makes sense. It pisses me off when Bravo thinks we are dumb.
Melissa is at a fake lunch with some of her “friends”. I question these friends because these chicks clearly don’t like her and are there to be on TV as they both had their hair done. Melissa tells them about her new book deal about her marriage. Oh. My. God. Who is going to read her crap fest? Melissa talks more about Teresa than the book. Melissa is a bitch.
She implies that Teresa is mentally not well, and even though she is not a doctor, she feels comfortable diagnosing her. Melissa is the root of all the evil on this show and hopefully Joe is starting t see it. She is pretty, but no bang is worth ripping your family apart and he needs to put his foot down and tell his whore/wife to shut the hell up and stop ruining his family.
Teresa calls Kathy to invite her to the retreat. Kathy says she is interested and who else should be invited. Teresa says she wants to fix things with her family, but Kathy brings up Caroline and Jac, which is ridiculous. This is about family. Jac hears the conversation, grabs the phone, and screams at Teresa. Teresa is not interested and Jac cannot control herself.
Kathy wants Jac to stop and tries to take the phone from Jac, but Jac is going on and on. Kathy then stops trying to get the phone and it is stupid. Teresa calls Jac a stalker and it is beyond being a stalker. Jac is mentally deficient, a horrible mother for using her children for fame and glory, and needs to be fired before she hurts herself or her family in a horrible way.
Jac is the Amanda Bynes of reality television and I am going to start fast-forwarding over any and all scenes with her. Cut to Teresa now out with her girlfriends and they are talking about Melissa. One of the girls from Melissa’s lunch is now out for drinks with Teresa. Oy vey. The friends from Mel’s lunch tell Tre and her friends that Melissa had an affair.
It happened years ago, Teresa does not care, and it is lame. Teresa is not interested in doing anything to make the situation worse, and I am on her side. Bravo appears to be looking through the gutter for storylines, which is dirty. It is also a waste of time. Recast the whole show, give Teresa her own show, and call it a day. There are more interesting women in Jersey.
Melissa and Kathy are at an exotic dance class with their husbands and I want to swallow glass. This scene is embarrassing. Rich is hideous, Kathy is a loser, Melissa is a whore, and Joe is darling. Enough. Cut to Albert and Caroline out for dinner. They have absolutely nothing to say to each other and the slow build up to the end of their marriage is boring already.
Melissa is having a brunch, and has invited everyone but Teresa. Jac has changed up her meds and apologizes to Kathy for being crazy the day before, then acts crazy again. Everyone is talking about Teresa. That is all they ever talk about. Everyone agrees to go but Jac, which makes sense because she was not invited. This show seriously pisses me off.
Melissa is out with Jennifer the real estate agent who tried to sell her house, and is friends with Teresa, having just been with her at drinks. She’s weird looking. Melissa lies about anyone being interested in their house, and is unsure about Jennifer. Jennifer tells Melissa about Jan telling them all about the affair. Jennifer is a bitch and threw Tre under the bus.
Teresa says she did not want to hear it, and Jen did not tell Melissa that. Jen blames Kim D. and Jan, and manages to also blame Teresa, which is the problem. Teresa is blamed for everything. Melissa is more pissed than shocked and does not cry, which is what someone who knew it was a lie would do. Cut to Melissa out for dinner with Jac and Kathy. The scripting is insane.
Melissa blames Teresa, Jac goes crazy again about Teresa, and Joe buys into the blame Teresa game. Kim D. shows up and it is stupid. I look forward to this show every week and every week I am left exhausted and disappointed. Melissa is lying, but Joe loves her, so who cares? Kim D. is evil, Jac needs to be in a hospital, and Kathy and Rich need to call it a day and get lost.
Jennifer is now out with Teresa again and this show seems to think it is freaking Dynasty, not a reality show about chicks in Jersey. Jen tells Teresa she is only seeing Melissa to get her house listing, but she already said the house is a pit, so she’s lying. Jen tells Tre she told Melissa about what Jan said, and Teresa sees that Jen is dangerous in the same way that Jac is.
I feel bad for Teresa. She is caught up in so many lies that are all being started by women wanting to be on television and achieve the fame and fortune she has. Reality fame screws people up, but this show is on another level. Next week we will be at the retreat, Joe and Juicy will kick the shit out of each other, and we will cringe at their inability to keep it real.
July 7, 2013 | 10:13 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I am often asked why I write about LeAnn Rimes so much, and the explanation is quite simple. She is fascinating. She is a woman who behaves badly, then does not seem to understand why people don’t like her. One could argue she is simply not that bright, and therefore unable to understand why people react the way they do to her madness. One could also argue she is mentally unstable, and that makes her unaware.
I think it is a mixture of both. She is uneducated, and having been used as a cash cow since childhood, living in a bubble surrounded by yes men is going to stunt your basic knowledge of how life works and what is decent behavior. Additionally, being so painfully insecure that you have to steal another woman’s husband, then spend your time trying to become that woman, would indicate there is some kind of mental instability.
LeAnn Rimes appears to be obsessed with Brandi Glanville. It’s understandable of course. Brandi was married to her husband, Brandi is taller, thinner, prettier. LeAnn’s latest album sold less than 12000 copies, while Brandi’s book sold over 200,000 copies. LeAnn’s husband has a type, that type is Brandi, and no matter how hard LeAnn tries, she will never be Brandi because at her core LeAnn is not a very nice girl.
The hardest thing for LeAnn must be that Brandi has given Eddie the one thing she has not, children. Brandi is the mother of Eddie’s children, and while I think Eddie is just as vile as LeAnn, he keeps quiet while she is shouting from the mountain. LeAnn wants us all to know that she is living the dream, her marriage is perfect, and her stepsons are at their happiest when they are on her tour bus. Well, here we go again people.
The happiest place on earth for those boys is with their mother, so unless that tour bus is parked on Brandi’s driveway and she is in the kitchen whipping up some eggs, that is not the happiest place on earth for those kids. For LeAnn to constantly post pictures of kids that are not hers, commenting about how happy they are, when they clearly do not look happy, is hurtful to the children, their mother, and mostly LeAnn.
LeAnn will never be able to recover from the damage she has done to her reputation. Her record sales prove that. Important to note that people cheat all the time and the issue with LeAnn is not that she had an affair or broke up a family. It happens. A lot. The issue is how she has handled it, how she continues to flaunt it, and how she uses the children to hurt a woman whose life she ripped apart. LeAnn lacks decency.
Listen, we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors and I am certain there is blame to be placed on all parties involved, but what we do know is what LeAnn tells us. Eddie is silent, Brandi reacts to what LeAnn puts out there, but LeAnn is the one setting the tone and sharing her insanity with the world. She gets mad people judge her without knowing her, yet she is the one who puts it out there to be judged. She is fascinating.
That this woman is still relevant is interesting. She pays a lot of money and spends a lot of time keeping her name in the news, so I guess it is working for her. I’m not sure why she continues to pay people to tweet for her, take her picture, and write about her, when all it does is make people hate her. Bless her. She may think it is a good thing, but time will show the mess she has created and she will have nobody to blame but herself.
Those kids will grow up and choose to not spend time with her, as opposed to having to now. Kids are smart, and there is a bond between mothers and sons that is magic. Those boys will be fine, Brandi will be fine, Eddie will move onto another whore, and LeAnn will be alone. That is how Karma works. Think what you want about Rimes, you must also feel sorry for her because nobody loves her enough to help her, only take her money.
LeAnn reads all my blogs, as does her attorney. They are not too thrilled with me and while she denies reading, she likes to tweet about my blogs and my tweets, and me. What she fails to understand is that I write about her because she asks me to. Everyone writes about her because she asks us to. The difference is that she pays others to write what she asks, and she sues those who speak unflattering of her. That’s how she rolls.
From her lawsuit against Kim Smiley, to the countless cease and desist letters and threatening phone calls her lawyer and publicist make to bloggers and tweeters, they work hard to get people to shut up. They even called Jonathan Jaxson and asked him to recall his book and remove mention of her. You have to laugh at how much money she spends, when the only result is people thinking she is crazier than they even imagined.
LeAnn’s posting of pics on the 4th of July of her step-kids, and declaration of their happiness, is what made me write this blog. Her tipping off of Radar Online with imagined stories is not even worth mentioning because those who follow her know what the truth is. I will continue to write about LeAnn for as long as she asks me to. What is the difference between me and everyone else writing about her? I’m keeping it real.
July 2, 2013 | 2:10 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
To tell you the truth, I had no idea who Jonathan Jaxson was until people started to write that I should interview him. I watch a lot of reality TV, and like to think I’m up to date on pop culture, but I am not much of a gossip person, and don’t read gossip magazines or tabloids. You are more likely to find me reading the bible than People, so I was not only unsure of who he was, but had no idea what his book was about, so I checked him out.
Jaxson is an interesting man, has led a fascinating life, and the truth is that the least interesting part of his story is the Hollywood portion. He has overcome adversity and pain in a powerful way. His stories are good, especially when it comes to LeAnn Rimes, but as a human being he is complex and I found myself caring about him as we spoke. He is a young man finding his way, and his gifts to the world will not be about celebrity.
We’ll circle back to LeAnn, but let’s first talk about Jonathan. At 17 he was the tour manager for The Backstreet Boys. My son is 17 and so I cannot wrap my head around him travelling the world on his own with a band. Jonathan came from humble beginnings and was raised by a mother who struggled to take of not only her children, but herself. It was a sad and lonely childhood where escape was achieved through television.
Jonathan’s mother was abused by men, in front of her children, and also did drugs in front of her kids. It resulted in scars on his heart, but also stopped him from drinking or doing drugs himself. He has never used drugs, does not drink, and has an unwavering support and love for his mother. To hear him speak of her, knowing what his childhood was like, is a testament to who he is a human being, and that at her core, her heart was good.
As a single mother myself, I often wonder what my son will think when he looks back on his childhood. I do the best I can, and there are days when I know it is not enough, and other times when I wonder if he appreciates the sacrifices that have been made. In hearing Jonathan reflect on his childhood, and speak of wanting to take care of his mother now, I am reminded of the remarkable love between a mother and her son.
Jonathan’s book talks of the struggles he faced, and he went back and forth with his mother about what to include. In the end he felt that if his story could help one person find their way, he would share it all. He is honest, raw, uncensored, and aware when he speaks of his life. He is a man of faith who is trying to start over, make a fresh start, accept his past, and embrace his history, all while dealing with the demons that come with anxiety.
Jonathan referred to me as Ma’am several times during our chat. He is soft spoken and kind. He spoke of wanting to be a dad, how proud of his family he is, and how proud he is to be a successful gay man. When he talks about himself he is brave, but when he talks of his life as a publicist, there is almost disbelief at the life that he led, and the things he did. There is a very dark side to the world of celebrity publicity and he has seen it and lived it.
He is unapologetic for what he did because it was his job, but there are certainly things he sees differently now that he is out of that world. One of the biggest changes of opinion is in terms of LeAnn Rimes. I write about LeAnn a lot, and that is why so many of my readers wanted me to speak with Jonathan. He speaks of her very briefly in his book, but we actually spoke of her quite a bit. I don’t like LeAnn Rimes.
I think she is spiteful, mean, and frankly quite stupid. I write about her often because I am confused by the fact that nobody else wants to write about the truly horrible things that she does. She is a spoiled woman who buys her fame, buys her press, and feels no remorse or guilt for her unstable behavior. This woman is mentally unstable and there were things Jaxson said that assured me my opinions are justified.
LeAnn Rimes has changed a lot since Jaxson met her. It is all hearsay of course as I have never met her, but Jaxson and I spoke of Rimes having a drinking problem, and a laxative addiction. She is also manipulated by her douchebag husband, and I find myself feeling sorry for her. As women we often change who we are for the men we love. We’ve all done it. The difference is that we are not all whores who steal our men.
LeAnn spoke a lot of crap about Brandi Glanville to Jonathan and he actually feels bad that he bought into so many of the things he was told. LeAnn is obsessed with Brandi, and the truth is that Eddie is no angel here. He encourages her to look like Brandi. From the fake boobs, to the weight loss, to the clothes, Eddie has a type and that type is Brandi, so if LeAnn wants Eddie, she needs to be Brandi. It is all very sad.
Jaxson said he’d like to apologize to Brandi, which while lovely, does not matter. People are going think what they want about him, and there is a perception that he is a liar and not to be trusted. It was his job to lie, and the only people who needed to trust him were his clients, so time will turn that around. I don’t know Jonathan, have not yet read his book, spoke to him with no agenda or expectations, and I liked him.
This is a wounded but brave man who had enough of the life he was living, is taking all the lessons of his crazy public life, and learning from them. He is a master at publicity and to have achieved what he did, at the level and speed in which he did, is impressive. He got screwed over by a lot of people who value fame over decency, but that is the nature of the beast and it is what he does now what will be the legacy he leaves of himself.
I asked Jonathan to describe himself in three words or phrases and he chose enjoying life, loving people, and not needing attention. I asked how he would have described himself when he was a publicist, and he chose fame hungry, money hungry, and careful. He’s come a long way and it will be interesting to see what he does with the next phase of his life. He is essentially starting over at 30, which is scary, but a blessing.
Jonathan Jaxson is very interesting and I look forward to reading his book. LeAnn Rimes is an idiot and I will never read her book, which she will never write because I think she may be illiterate. Some will say I am too harsh on Ms. Rimes, and others will say I am being sucked in by Mr. Jaxson. Who cares? At the end of the day this blog is my truth and I really liked him. Think what you want, Jonathan Jaxson is tryng to keep it real.
Learn about Jonathan's book: Don't You Know Who I Am Yet? at www.dontyouknowwhoiamyet.com