Posted by Ilana Angel
After the useless 100th episode special of last week, we are back with the ladies of Orange County. I want to start by saying that I think Gretchen is a slut bag, incapable of real relationships because she is a moron. Okay. That felt good. We start with Tamra who is at the gym having dinner with Eddie. Her top lip makes her look like she is confused and constipated.
They are gossiping about the girls, which is stupid. Five minutes of Eddie and Tamra talking about nothing is lame. Over to Heather, she is doing another sitcom. Blah, blah, blah. I am happy she is getting her sense of self back, just don’t want to hear about it so much. It is wedding dress shopping day and everyone is going, including Lauri, who is a whore.
The ladies are talking about what a loser Slade is. Lydia is fun and quirky. A true Canadian in that she speaks her mind is not afraid to have an opinion. Love her and her mom, and would like them to get a show away from the hags. I would like to take a moment to say we are 15 minutes in and nothing of has happened. 15 minutes. Nothing. Ridiculous.
Heather and Alexis are at the wedding dress shop. Tamra and the ladies arrive, and now the fun begins. By fun of course I mean bullshit. Everyone is looking for dresses for Tamra, but Gretchen who is off on her own being a baby. She will stop at nothing to make the day about her. The whole thing is stupid because there is no wedding even planned.
Alexis is stunning and her body is ridiculous. I think she is a moron, but Dear Lord the girl is pretty. She then has the best line ever. “I wish Gretchen could eat some of her makeup so she can be pretty on the inside.” Freaking awesome. I can’t stand Gretchen, think she should get canned, and am certain she is mentally deficient on some level.
Vicki tells the girls she broke up with Brooks and they are completely done. Lauri pipes in and I am fascinated by her face. It does not move, her nose appears to be sunken in, and she is hideous. Lauri tells Vicki that her daughter’s hooker friend is banging Brooks. Vicki is getting stressed. Lauri is being a horrible person and breaking all girl codes.
It was the wrong place, wrong time, and done with malicious intent. Tamra finds the dress, Gretchen leaves, and Vicki starts to cry because the only man she has ever really loved, is taking his new teeth and her money, to bang young girls. Oh yes, life in Orange Country is grand. These chicks have been around the longest, look the most ragged, and need to go.
Heather calls out Lauri for telling Vicki something she did not need to know, then tells the girls about the sitcom, and Lydia says Heather went from being fancy pants, to fancy outfit. Lydia is hilarious. If you take my personal commentary out of this blog, I pretty much wrote nothing about the episode, because nothing interesting happened.
It might be time for me to walk away from RHOC. Next week they will be in Canada so of course I will watch. Vicki will call out Lauri, who is a slut bag whore, so that might be fun. RHOC is a waste of time. They offer nothing. I might pass on them and take on the women of Miami instead. I am not a fan, but maybe Miami will keep it real.
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire.
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television.
12.2.13 at 7:12 am | I was bored with all the jumping around.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . .
11.25.13 at 11:14 pm | They started off strong, but tonight tanked.
11.25.13 at 9:02 pm | Some of this episode was uncomfortable to watch.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . . (4137)
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire. (3726)
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television. (3507)
July 1, 2013 | 12:02 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
*Typos brought to you by Jose Cuervo. Don't judge.
Oy Dear! These chicks get more annoying with each week. I see the humor in them, and there are truly charming moments, but the heavy handed Jewishness bugs the crap out of me. Anyone can throw around some Yiddish and read an old Jewish proverb given to them by a producer, but that does not make you a Jew. I am not judging their level of faith because who cares? I am judging their constant Jewish references when there is nothing Jewish about the life they lead, other than stereotypes.
We start this week with Amanda taking Chanel out for some dancing. They are supposed to go with Erica, but Erica is bailing because she is either drunk, or sleeping with a stranger in some public bathroom. Chanel is dancing up a storm and having a wonderful time. Chanel is fun, Amanda is sweet, once you get past the voice, and once again we see them picking up men who mock our faith. Amanda asks a man if he’s up for a Shabbat dinner, and he replies “Shabbaz dinner?” It makes me sad things like this are shown.
Erica is meeting with Rob, who is annoyed with her. She denies that she made out with a stranger in the bathroom last week. Liar. She makes a constipated face, which is weird, and she is constantly telling us how pretty she is, but I don’t get it. She is cute, but I think in terms of her popularity, slutty trumps pretty. Her boyfriend is very sweet and he needs to dump her ass because she has already dumped him. She is a cheater, and a slut, and he should date Chanel instead. Erica is a pig, and Rob is clueless.
Chanel is having everyone over for breakfast, except for Erica. Good thing she is not there because Erica is all these chicks have to talk about and it is easier if she is not with them. Chanel is darling, but a huge gossip. Ashley is offensive, but also cute. Amanda is most interesting when she is with her boyfriend, Joey is a mean girl, while Casey might be the most uptight chick on reality TV. She needs some serious therapy and a good schtuping. The girl is wound up so tight I want to slap her loose. For real.
Casey and Chanel are planning an intervention for Erica. Casey? The girl who hates Erica, and she says she is doing it for Chanel. Really? Casey does not get it. There is simply explanation for her going, and Chanel is insane for thinking it was a good idea. Not only is it a bad idea, it makes no sense, and actually hurtful to Erica. Even slutty whores need compassion and for Chanel to take Casey is just rude. I seriously hate this show, but will watch it and write about it, if only to tell people it is complete crap.
Amanda is starting a company that makes a drink cover. For the love of God. It is the dumbest thing I have ever seen. Amanda’s mom Babs joins them and suggests that they make the covers for dildos too. I want to scratch my own eyes out. Cut to Joey who has also come up with an invention. It is lip-gloss and breath drops in one. Cute idea and I would buy it, at the dollar store. Every time one of these women speaks, we are reminded that they are really simple. How do they function in society when they're so simple?
Joey says her product is for the “independament” woman. Dear Lord. Cut to Ashlee and Casey who have gone shopping for shoes. Casey loves Ashlee. Ashlee loves Casey. I want to pluck out my eyelashes one by one to numb my eyes from this crap. They are talking about Erica, which is lame. Ashlee calls her dad to let him know she is spending $5300 on shoes. Really? God Bless her for having the life she does, but she will never meet a man once he sees her on this show. She is just too much to take on for a sane man.
Amanda is doing a photo shoot for her product. I just can’t. We are skipping over this part. Cut to Ashlee who is on a date with a cute Italian. She can handle a man who is not Jewish, as long as there is no Jesus paraphernalia. This made me laugh out loud. She is a princess in the most unflattering way, but in the end she is also harmless, oddly fabulous, and is showing a side of her that is more entertaining than offensive, which is a surprise. I don’t think Casey will ever get there, but good on Ashlee for making it.
Important to note that I am quite vocal about how I feel about this show, and these women, on both my blog and Twitter. The people who take the time to tell me I am rude, unprofessional, and jealous, are mostly not Jewish. Casey retweets every single thing people say about her, assuming it is a compliment, too silly to realize people are not only making fun of her, but also being anti-Semitic on occasion. Life has got to be hard when you are that unaware. She can’t even discern a compliment from a slam.
Joey is out with her Dad, who is giving her sound advice, and she is crying and getting upset. She does not understand why her father does not believe her trying to sell lip gloss is more valuable than a college degree. I just can’t. These girls are too much. She is so bitter that her dad is not wealthy, that she cannot listen objectively to his questions or advise. She judges the other girls for having money, but does not mention how bitter she is that she does not have any. Joey reminds me of Bethenny.
It is time for the big intervention. Oy Dear! Casey and Chanel are making no sense. Chanel says drunk Erica could get attacked by a “ghetto” guy, which is ignorant. Erica calls the visit “interventioning her”, and Casey is unable to hide her disgust for Erica through her “words of wisdom”. Chanel and Casey leave, having accomplished nothing. Erica talks to her mom about it and they both decide to blow it off. This show is painful and I am killing time waiting for Ashlee to make the “help me” call. These chicks suck at keeping it real