Posted by Ilana Angel
It is that time of year again where you can spend two hours a week crawling out of your own skin while you try to cut out your own eyeballs with dull scissors. Yes people, the Bachelorette is back, and she is as annoying as ever. Desiree, who got dumped by Sean because her brother was a douchebag, is back, in the driver’s seat, and looking for love. Fake TV love.
The season starts with a recap of what is coming up. Lame. These men are hideous, Desiree is harmless but annoying, and the entire season will be built around her humble beginnings and shock at living with such extravagances. There will be lots of fake tears, borrowed clothes, unrealistic dates, gorgeous abs, and enough schmaltz to make us sick, but keep us watching.
In the first minute of Desiree telling us about her search for love she is crying and talking about how she came from nothing. Dear God. Des has grown out her bangs, which is a shame because they were cute. Important to note that Chris Harrison has colored his hair dark and he looks ridiculous. He is too old to be hosting this show, and he now looks like a pervert.
Harrison does an interview with Des outside and he is squinting so bad that it looks like his eyes are actually closed. He is nodding in agreement with everything she says, which is stupid. She feels like Cinderella, Prince Charming is coming, and she will be wearing a white dress. Poor Des. She is adorable. She’s also dumb because this show never works.
I like Des and I want her to be happy. The problem is I like her now, but by the end of the season, after she has made a proper fool out of herself, I won’t care about her anymore. That is what this show does to people. It makes them unlikeable. It’s time to meet the 25 men who have come to get famous. Of those 25, maybe 1 or 2 are real, and they’ll be cut.
If these guys are 25 of “the most eligible bachelors in the United States”, single women should move. By move of course I mean that they should just start dating chicks. This show makes me crazy, but I am watching it with my full attention and I am ashamed. Why am I watching? Because I am paid to! Let’s go with that shall we? Here come the creepy men.
Bryden: War vet, never going to happen.
Will: Banker, never going to happen.
Drew: Digital Marketing, playing the sympathy card, could work.
Nick R.: Tailor and magician, never going to happen.
ZaK W: Engineer, naked, never going to happen.
Robert: Entrepreneur, he is one of my top picks.
Mike: Dental student, never going to happen.
Brandon: Painter, playing the sympathy card, never going to happen.
Brooks: Marketing Consultant, never going to happen.
Brad: Accountant, never going to happen.
Michael G.: Federal Prosecutor, I like him a little bit.
Kasey: Advertising Executive, #nevergoingtohappen.
Mikey T.: Plumber, does he have a lazy eye? Never going to happen.
Jonathan: Lawyer, total douchebag, never going to happen.
James: Advertising, He’s loyal and I like him.
Larry: ER Doctor, horrible dancer, never going to happen.
Zack K.: Publisher, never going to happen.
Diogo: Ski Resort Manager, Knight, never going to happen.
Chris: Mortgage Broker, cheesy, but has a shot.
Juan Pablo: Soccer Player, never going to happen, but he should call me.
Brian: Financial Advisor, never going to happen.
Micah: Law Student, I love this kid.
Nick M.: Investment Advisor and poet, never going to happen.
Dan: Beer Salesman, super hot, might have a shot.
Ben: Entrepreneur and single dad, I love him, top pick.
We are one hour in and I’m ready to be done. Desiree’s sing song voice is starting to irritate me. I wonder if she wears contacts because she is having a blinking thing. I like her. Bless her for doing this and putting herself out there to be mocked by bloggers. In certain shots I think she looks like she could be a Charlie’s Angel. She is a beautiful girl.
Nick the magician is lame, and too short for her, but Brandon swoops in and uses his mom’s sober chip to win favor and made my heart flutter. To be clear, he is creepy as hell. Single dad Ben gets the first rose of the night, firmly placing a target on his back. The naked guy jumps in the pool, he is a freak but she gives his a rose. Clearly forced by the producers.
Bryden throws in a war story and gets a rose. Juan Pablo can do and say whatever he wants. He is sexy as hell. Drew is staring at her boobs and while super feminine, cute. He gets a rose. Larry the ER Doctor is a hot mess and if he gets a rose I will have to do a shot of tequila and I am already smashed, so it will not be good. Des is a lovely girl. Bless her.
Jonathon is the creepiest man to ever be on this show. More than tattoo getting Kasey, this guy is a freak. He wants to get her alone in the fantasy suite and the first one to get a kiss on the mouth. He wants to skin her alive and cook her for dinner. This guy needs to go home. By go home of course I mean that he needs to be on meds. Des is not digging him.
Jonathon goes to the fantasy suite on his own, then gives a real housewives speech about his love tank. Dear Lord. He takes her away again and Des is now officially over him. She tells him she is uncomfortable and asks him to go home. Watching these men get all insecure and nervous gives me joy, but not enough to stop my drinking. This show will kill my liver.
It is rose ceremony time. The men who continue are: Bryden, Ben, Brandon, Zack K., Will, Zach W., Brooks, Juan Pablo, Brad, Kasey, James, Robert, Brian, Dan, Chris, and Mikey T. That is 6 mean and I could be missing one but I am now drunk, exhausted, annoyed, and wishing I had blogged this last week so I was not having to watch 4 hours today. Oh. My. God.
There is a lot of recapping on this show. We are not stupid, except for the part where we watch this show, so the recapping is too much. It’s time for the first date of the season and it is a one-on-one date for Brooks. Interesting choice. I don’t like this kid, and I say kid because he seems very immature. Frontrunner Ben is being a schmuck, which is not cute.
The first date is trying on tuxes and wedding dresses. Really? I’m bored. They go up to the Hollywood sign and hang out in their wedding clothes. I can’t do it. I am not going to be able to blog this every week. I am getting a cavity as I write this from all the sugary sweet crap. As for Brooks, he is cute, seems like a nice guy, but he is not going to be the winner.
Brooks gets a kiss, and a rose, and the most perfect dinner location ever. I think we are done and then Brooks goes on and on about his divorced parents. He reminds me of Ace from American Idol. It’s concert time and I am hammered. Not because it is a nice feeling, but because it numbs the pain of this show. I cannot blog the whole season people.
It is group date time and they are going to shoot a rap video with Soldier Boy. The men make fools of themselves, Soldier Boy is making money, and I am not watching these men make a rap video. I am skipping over the entire thing, knowing I might possibly miss something great, but guaranteeing that I will not see something that will make me vomit. Good call.
It’s booze time with the group of men. Naked Zak gives her an antique journal with a random message in it that I am guessing he wrote himself. Great gift and I was impressed. Even if it was a hoax, it is still romantic and wonderful. I hate it that I love him. Ben is aggressive, and steels Des from lazy eye. Nobody likes Ben, which means he may be the winner.
Ben is using his son for brownie points and goes in for the kiss. Brandon watches them kiss and starts to cry. Oh. My. God. I want to jump out my window. Michael G. is having a visit with her and I like him more this week than last week. In his attempt to let her know he will be honest and true, he moves into the friend zone. Poor guy. Lazy eye bugs me.
Mikey T. approaches Ben and tells him he bugs him. He is now a high school mean girl. Ben defuses the situation and back at the house there are four men who have not been on a date, but it is a one-on-one card so some are out of luck. Iraq war vet Bryden is the winner. Brandon is crying and talking about how hard his childhood was and I am not digging it.
It is a compelling story but he is wounded and scared and he needs to go home. He is creeping me out. He probably cries during sex and that is just not attractive. Time to give out the one rose of the group date and it goes to Ben. He is not liked by the men and it is fascinating to watch men behave like women. Ben better not be an asshole. Better not Ben!
Sidebar: My son just walked into the room and listened to Brandon tell the story of his childhood and he started laughing He said this show is garbage and the story did not make him like the guy, but rather want to punch him in the mouth. Agreed. The romantic heart gets fed a little bit with the show, and the bullshit meter is sent into overdrive. Needs balance.
Bryden and Des are going on a road trip. She says she is like California in that there is a lot to explore. What? I am a sucker for anyone in the armed forces and I love this guy. I didn’t think he stood a chance last week, but he is now one of my favorites. He is a good man and I love him. Important to note that I am drunk and we are only on episode number 2.
Bryden speaks of an accident he had and it is amazing that he is even alive. I think he is sweet and while I still believe he is broken and wounded emotionally, he is a remarkable man and a new frontrunner. He is not winning, but he gets a rose and lives on another day. The date can’t end without some hot tub time and an awkward but cute first kiss.
At the cocktail party, Michael G. takes Des off and tells her he is a diabetic. He is in the middle of an important story and Ben shows up to steel her, and he has a rose. Ben is becoming less cute, more creepy. The men are now all acting like women and it is my favorite part. Brian takes her off for a chat and I like him. He reminds me of Vince Vaughn for some reason.
He broke up with his last relationship only a couple of months ago. Shot himself in the foot with that information. He also has a weird eye thing happening. I’m noticing that Des talks over the guys a lot. She needs to stop doing that. I think I will not blog this show again until the hometown dates. I will watch, but blogging is just too much.
Time for the rose ceremony and the ones that are safe: Ben, Brooks, Bryden, James, Kasey, Dan, Juan Pablo, Brad, Chris, Brian, Zach W., Drew, Mikey, Zach, Michael, and Brandon. Going home is Will, Robert, and Nick M. When I said I was not blogging this anymore it was before we saw a girlfriend comes to the house next week. I’m in for one more week.
This show gives me a headache and I would like it much more if it was only an hour long. Drinking for two hours is not good. I am amazed that this show is still on, and even more shocked that I am still watching. If it weren’t for the emails from my reader Tim guilting me into it, I’d be done. In the end I am a romantic and fall for them knowing they are not keeping it real.
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire.
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television.
12.2.13 at 7:12 am | I was bored with all the jumping around.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . .
11.25.13 at 11:14 pm | They started off strong, but tonight tanked.
11.25.13 at 9:02 pm | Some of this episode was uncomfortable to watch.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . . (3855)
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television. (3215)
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire. (3110)
June 3, 2013 | 7:30 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Before we even get started on this week, I wonder why it is that the ladies are going on a bachelorette party trip when last week we were not even sure there was going to be a wedding? This show is shady, Tamra is an idiot, and I started drinking 30 minutes ago so it is going to be a painfully long hour. My liver is pissed at me yet I continue to drink. Here we go.
Lydia is visiting with Tamra for a scripted chat so they can talk about Alexis. I like Lydia, love her mom, and think it is unfortunate that they are going to sucked into the crapfest that is RHOC. By the end of the season she will either be a hero or just another skank. I really hope she survives. At least long enough for me to have a drink and smoke with her Momma!
Tamra says she thought about Alexis and felt bad for her and wants to be the better person. Translation: If I cannot get on board with these losers and get the fans to like me again, I will never get a wedding special. Tamra is a snake, incapable of an honest moment, and is milking her past to get the wedding special, which we know she did.
Gretchen and Heather are buying a bathing suit for Tamra for the trip to Mexico for the bachelorette party. Heather wants it to be a classy trip, and Gretchen wants strippers. Gretchen is a pig and try as she might t be a lady, Heather is starting to take on the characteristics of a pig also. There is absolutely nothing appealing about these women, yet I watch.
Gretchen wants us to know she is in the fashion industry and designs things, so she should design the bathing suit for Tamra, not Heather. Have you seen her handbags? Hideous. Alexis is out for a drink with Vicki because Vicki is the only person who will shoot with her, except for Lydia, who is probably contractually obligated. Vicki invites Alexis to Mexico.
Really? Vicki is a hot mess. Alexis tells Vicki Tamra called her and invited her out for lunch. Alexis makes me itchy, Vicki makes me want to drink, and Tamra makes me feel no compassion for whores. I might not make it though people. Lauri is back talking smack and I want to smack her. There was no need to bring her back except that everyone hates everyone.
Lauri is there to try to bring life back into this show. Newsflash Bravo, you can’t bring a show back to life by inviting back the dead. Lauri is dead in the eyes and is so deformed by fillers that she is disgusting to look at, and takes the edge off by margarita. I drink to be able to look at them, then drink more to be able to listen to them. God help me.
Alexis and Lydia are meeting Tamra. Blah, blah, blah. Lydia is cute, Alexis is beautiful, and Tamra is constipated. Important to note that Alexis has the fingernails on both hands painted different colors and it looks dumb. Alexis cries, Tamra tells Alexis she is a human being and wants to break the cycle of hurt. I am laughing at them. Seriously laughing out loud.
Gretchen is visiting with Lauri and it is beyond stupid. Lauri needs the money and when someone keeps telling you how happy they are, chances are they are not as happy as they would like you to think. Lauri slept with Slade, which is just gross to me, yet Gretchen does not seem to mind. That is Gretchen’s inner whore shining through. A whore does not judge.
Gretchen is bitching about Vicki and Lauri is jumping right in. Lauri tells Gretchen that Vicki is a cheater, slept with men and women while married, and then Lauri tells us over and over how she knows a lot of stuff about Vicki. I don’t believe her and more importantly, I don’t care. Lauri is a moron, Gretchen is mentally challenged, and I want to hit something.
Lauri then says she is mad at Vicki and has a vendetta against her. There you go. Lauri is there to hurt Vicki and it is embarrassing. Shame on Bravo for not only showing this crap, but encouraging it. Gretchen wants to tell the world Vicki is a whore, but doesn’t need to because the cameras were rolling you dumbass. These women make me sick.
Heather and Terry are talking about the Mexico trip and Heather has never seen a stripper. Lydia has never seen a stripper either. Gretchen has seen a stripper, probably done a stripper, and probably was a stripper. Gretchen is talking smack about Vicki to Slade, Tamra is packing, not knowing where they are going. I feel the need to share that I truly hate this show.
They are off to the airport and both Vicki and Gretchen have come packing penises. Tamra arrives and she is all about a wild time for a wedding that her fiancé has not fully committed to yet. Sidebar: I think about her young children and feel bad for them. Their mother is making a fool of herself and humiliating them in a way that I simply do not understand.
Lydia is mortified by the penises and reminds us that they are all pillars of the community. Really? It would appear that Lydia has been smoking some of her mom’s weed. Pillars my ass. They are at dinner at a pretentious restaurant that does not serve chips and salsa. This is the most boring bachelorette dinner I have ever seen and I am cringing.
Sidebar: Gretchen is truly disgusting. Truly. Heather picked a dud for dinner, Gretchen is chomping at the bit to out Vicki’s sexual escapades, and I am officially hammered, which normally would be good, but I still have to blog 2 hours of The Bachelorette so it is going to be a long night. I need to drink slower or drink more. Hard to say what would be better.
Vicki, Tamra, and Lydia blow off Gretchen and Heather and go for a drink, which pisses of Gretchen and makes her tell Heather about all the crap from Lauri. I’m so done. Next week it gets raunchy and nasty. I might have to skip a week of this mess. These women may be the only bitches on reality TV who need to slow down and stop keeping it real.
June 3, 2013 | 7:33 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
The only thing I love more than reality television is when there is a Jew on reality television. I am proudly Jewish and love it when one of the tribe is on TV. That’s the thing about Jews, we are all connected and take this weird sense of ownership and pride in each other. It’s good to be a Jew and these young bitches better not piss me off and embarrass our people. The problem with reality TV is that the Jews are always really strange.
I am coming to this show with an open mind, but I will simply be forced to rip these women apart if they are crazy. God help me, here we go. We start off with Chanel who is 27, modern orthodox, and living at home with her parents and sister. The sister, Ashley, is 24 and getting married. That has got to hurt. Chanel is clearing upset that her younger sister if getting married first and I feel for her. That sucks, but she handles it well.
They are sitting down for dinner and her mother is on Chanel’s ass to get married already. I was never pressured to get married, and although I married young, 25, it might be more of an issue in a more religious family. The mother tells her to find someone like her dad, her sister says to find someone like her fiancé, and Chanel quotes Sex and the City in how she describes the love she is looking for. I like Chanel. For now.
Next up is Chanel’s friend Erica. Erica is a reform Jew and while she is supposed to be lifelong friends with Chanel, is not clear that Chanel keeps kosher. Her parents are making BBQ and I am so insanely offended by Erica’s father I want to scream. He makes a mockery of being kosher, says a fake prayer over the non-kosher meet he is making, and tells Chanel it is kosher, so she eats it. Five minutes in and I hate this show.
Ashley is one of Chanel’s best friends, and a nightmare. She is truly the most offensive representation on television of what it means to be a young Jewish woman. She is getting a manicure and pedicure with her dad, who seems lovely, but has clearly ruined this girl, and she has no shot in hell of ever having a happy marriage. She is focused on money, appears to be a hobbit, and has no idea how unappealing she looks on this show.
She will not wear flat shoes and since just got a pedicure she cannot put her shoes on. She has her father push her in a chair to the front door, then asks the salon owner to carry her to her car so she does not need to walk in flats. I want to smack this kid and yell at her dad for creating a monster. Why not have her dad carry her to the car instead of humiliating the salon owner? This woman is going to set Jewish chicks back years.
Amanda is up next and we also meet her mother Babs and her boyfriend Jeff. Dear Lord. Amanda is harmless enough but her mother is crazy and her boyfriend is gay. These three people may be the most awkward people to ever be on reality television. She is a pretty girl but her voice makes me want to cut myself, her boyfriend’s voice makes me want to swallow glass, and her mother’s voice makes me want to pluck my hair out.
Babs calls Amanda while she is out for dinner and it is creepy. The mother is needy and clingy. She wants to live through her daughter and it is freaking me out. Thank God I did not have a mother like that, and thank God I am not a mother like that. The truth is that these women are unlike any Jews that I know, and I am embarrassed by them. I love it when people say they are Jewish and are proud of it, but I wish this group wouldn’t.
Ashley is going to pick up her friend Joey, who is middle class, but Ashley says he lives in the ghetto and is destitute. This woman should not be allowed out of the house, let alone on television. Joey is the pretty and normal one. She is from a different part of Long Island and defines herself as different from the others. Ashley tells Joey she looks beautiful, Joey tells her she is beautiful too, and Ashley responds, “obviously”.
I am so over this show and cannot watch it. There is not enough booze in the world to make this show good. They are shopping for her Ashley’s 30th birthday party. The power is out and she talks the store into letting her shop in the dark. I can’t take this Ashley woman. Joey is visiting Erica and it occurs to me that Joey reminds me of Bethenny Frankel. I don’t like her anymore. Erica is having a pool party for all the princesses.
Amanda, Babs, and Jeff are bathing suit shopping and I want to turn away but can’t. It is horrific. Jeff is gay and his drooling over Amanda is painful. I want him to meet a nice Jewish guy and set himself free. Watching him look at Amanda and her mother in bathing suits is too much. Babs is a hot mess, Amanda is in denial, and Jeff is lying to himself. Important to note this is not a show about Jews, but rather a show about freaks.
Erica is having the pool party at her cousin’s house so she does not need to clean up after. Shoot me. We meet her boyfriend Rob and I don’t get it. He will be running away soon. Chanel arrives and I find myself liking her. She is the only one. There are some gorgeous men at the party, none of which are Jewish. Joey brought a bunch of her friends to the party and it is about to get ugly. One of Joey’s friends is going to cause a scene.
Joey’s friend Sarah knows Jeff and they are Facebook friends. Sarah says Jeff stalked her on Facebook and Amanda is pissed off. Sarah is drunk. Sidebar: one second Amanda’s nails are not painted, then in the next scene they are. Clearly they had to shoot this over a long period of time. Amanda is calm but getting annoyed, Sarah is drunk and annoyed, then calls Jeff a f*****. Not nice, not necessary, and ugly drunk behavior.
Amanda throws her drink on Sarah and everyone starts screaming. Joey is a coward, Erica wants everyone out, and it turns into a mess. By turns into of course I mean this show has been a horrible mess from the first minute. This is a horrible show, with unappealing people, and I am embarrassed that people will watch and think this is what it means to be Jewish. The good news is that nobody is going to watch because it is crap.
I like Chanel and would interested in talking to her to see how she is in real life, and if she is happy with the show, but the others hold no interest for me. The voices are like nails on a chalkboard and in all seriousness, I am embarrassed by them. I will probably watch and blog if only to remind people this is not what it means to be Jewish, and hope that people know when it comes to Jewish women, they are not keeping it real.
June 2, 2013 | 6:21 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I, like most reality fans, have been waiting for this show to come back. We love these women with passion, and hate them with the same passion. They are fascinating television and it is because they are family that is so compelling. It has been a long time since we saw the show, but they are in the news, on Twitter, and bashing each other so much that this is really just catch up. It’s like we are reading a book, read the last chapter first, and now get to go back and read the entire book. God bless New Jersey!
We start with everyone looking at the damage of Hurricane Sandy. Richie says he cannot believe this is happening in the United States. Really? Is Richie unaware we have weather in America? This guy and his wife are morons and watching them humiliate themselves is a highlight of blogging this show. We are one minute in and Jac is fake crying. Dear Lord. We are right back where we started. Kathy is watching how lives are forever broken and she is complaining about having no cell service. I can’t take her and really wish they were not back.
Teresa has lost her beach house, sees a silver lining in work coming to the Jersey shore in the recovery, and tells us she and Juicy are fine. She tells us she has not seen her brother in a year and that is sad. Melissa and Joe have also lost their house. Teresa says she is not to blame for their not speaking, and Joe says they are not speaking because Teresa does not care. We are barely even starting and already I blame Melissa for breaking this family apart and valuing fame over family. I’m on margarita #1.
The ladies have all recorded new tag lines.
Caroline: “Love me or hate me, I always speak the truth.” (Except when she’s lying.)
Melissa: ”Sexy life, loyal wife. Take a page from my book.” (What? She wants us to take pages from her book because she can’t read and does not need the book.)
Teresa: “Haters are going to hate, but I just love, love, love.” (Haters are going to hate on her like they always do, but I just love, love, love her.)
Jac: “I’ve faced my share of challenges, but I’m tougher than I look.” (Her challenges are mental and she looks like a gutter pig.)
Kathy: “If you can’t take the heat, get out of my kitchen.” (I wish she would get off of my favorite reality show.)
Teresa and the girls are packing up clothes to donate to victims of Sandy. The girls have grown up and are all simply beautiful. Teresa says the victims need beautiful and glamorous clothes. I love her. She is so simply that I find it endearing. Milania says she misses Joe and the kids and Teresa is not sure what to say. She then comments that Milania is starting to forget her, which made no sense, but clearly she is upset about not talking to Joe. Everyone is trying to keep them apart which is unfortunate.
We jump to Jac and everything about her bothers me. Her voice, her fake crying, her NFL neck, all of it. Her children are beautiful and her husband is lovely, but she is annoying. Chris makes a joke about Nicholas faking autism to not have to talk to his family, and I thought it was in poor taste. Oy vey. Over to Melissa and Joe, her daughter is aching for her cousins and Melissa fake cries and reminds Joe that this is all Teresa’s fault. Melissa is an idiot, Joe is listening to a fame whore, and it is disgusting to watch.
Melissa says Teresa manipulates her kids, but she does the same. I am so over this woman and we are just getting started! We jump to Kathy and her family. Dear Lord. Rosie and her mom are fabulous, but Kathy is invisible and her husband is offensive. Rosie is still complaining about not having a girlfriend, and Kathy is still trying to be a spokesperson for the gay community. Teresa has been no movement, no growth, nothing with this family. Back to Teresa, Milania gets a letter from Antonia. Just not cool.
Milania wants to write her back, and Teresa suggests she call her instead and invite her over. Why? Because she is a grown up, not playing the ridiculous mind games of Melissa. Gia is upset because she knows they were not invited to Antonia’s birthday party. Joe tells Gia not to worry because it is not about the kids, just the adults. I honestly think Teresa and Juicy are handling this right, while Melissa and Joe are not. Be assholes to each other, but leave the kids out of it. This part pisses me off.
Cut to Caroline who has rented an apartment with Albert for a year as a test to see if they want to downsize. Lauren looks great, but before we can really understand what is happening, Joe and Melissa come by for a visit. Really? I am fascinated by Caroline’s hair. Couldn’t she fix it if she knew they were filming? Melissa is going to Caroline for guidance on how to handle a play date with the kids. It is just bullshit. This is a nothing situation that is being blown up by Melissa and her desperate need for camera time.
In a moment of scripted reality, Melissa and Teresa both start texting each other and luckily they both have camera crews with them. Caroline offers advice and Melissa says she does not want to talk about it there. Really? She came over there and brought it up, now she does not want to talk about it? Melissa is as dumb as she is pretty. I feel bad for Joe. Good for him for supporting his wife, but shame on him for allowing her to rip his family apart. Shame on Bravo for dragging us back into the darkness. I am on margarita #2.
Caroline is now visiting with Jac. By visiting of course I mean telling her everything that happened with Melissa and Joe, but putting her own spin on it. Jac says listening to stories about all of them is as important as getting her ass bleached. Classy. Jac is a pig, Caroline is a busybody, and I am annoyed that we are right back in the middle of this mess. Nothing has changed, nobody is being nice, and the kids are suffering. Not cool. It would hev been nice to start us off with something loving instead of all the darkness.
Gia is out shopping with Teresa. Gia is 11 but acts much older. She is beautiful but I think it is sad that she has grown up so fast. I understand Teresa talks to Gia like she is a grown up, but she should also feel bad about it. They are still texting about the play date like it is world peace, not a couple of kids hanging out. The play date is on and Joe tells Melissa that Caroline invited him out for coffee. Such drama. I’m happy the little girls can hang out together and these two women better behave.
Caroline and Joe go for coffee and I don’t understand why Caroline is getting involved here. I am bored. We are flipping back and forth between Teresa and Melissa and I don’t care because it is lame. The kids want to play and make their own things, but Melissa is all over them and controlling the kids in order to not have to talk to Teresa. Teresa is trying to have a conversation, but Melissa has her ego shoved so far up her ass she does not get it. This is out of control. These poor kids, and frankly, poor Teresa.
Caroline and Joe end their meeting with him in tears. I freaking love Joe Gorga and am sad his wife is being so horrible. Caroline offers to talk to Teresa and I am rolling my eyes. We get a look into the season and I find myself screaming at the television. It looks like there are some good times and fun stuff coming, but they started off dark, which is too bad. I love this show and while I tried to come to the new season with an open mind, my opinions are firmly in place, but I am still keeping it real.