April 30, 2012 | 10:46 pm

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Hate Teresa

Posted by Ilana Angel

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I like this show even though the women featured are fake on many levels. They live lives that they want us to think are fabulous, but what they show us is not necessarily true.  They are decent and hardworking people, who also happen to be dysfunctional and living in denial about how much money they have, and how they got it.  The chicks of New Jersey are fascinating.

The leader of the pack for me is Teresa.  I like her, but I didn’t always.  I watch these shows and write about what I see each week, and over the years I have not liked Teresa at certain times.  That said, I really like her now. She is great television and when I interviewed her it was over for me.  I freaking love this chick and she is the star of the show in my opinion.

Not only is she my favorite, she is also the break out star. Actually, Milania is the star of the show, but since she is not a housewife I cannot really give her the #1 spot.  Teresa is funny, simple, compelling, and sweet.  Everyone on this show hates her.  The jealousy they all feel for her palpable and the focus of the editing which is a shame and bad decision from Bravo.

I will watch, and blog, for now.  Honestly though, I have stopped watching and blogging about Atlanta and Orange County because they are simply bad television.  If Bravo sticks with the everyone be mean and hate on Teresa plot, I will be out of this one too.  Sidebar:  Andy lets people crap all over Teresa on WWHL and it is embarrassing.  Grow some balls Andy.

We start the show with Jacqueline sending Ashlee off to Vegas.  First of all, I do not get why Jac is on this show.  She is boring and brings nothing to the table.  She is also more focused on her new family than she is on helping her daughter.  She is not doing a good job in my opinion and her crying about how hard it is for her is sickening already.  She is beyond boring.

We skip over to Lauren who tells us she left Chateau after her opening and you have to wonder what the hell she’s been doing this whole time besides eating.  She is at a nutritionist with her mom and is going to try to lose weight.  She is a beautiful girl and if she loses weight or not, this is a sweet girl.  She is clearing looking for a diet endorsement deal, which is lame.

Teresa is with Juicy and they are talking about the pizza parlor closing.  I feel bad for Teresa.  Her husband is out of control.  I believe he is cheating, embarrassing his children and humiliating his wife.  Teresa loves him and he does not seem to get it or care.  I hope they work it out but I’m not sure they can.  I wish for Teresa all the things that she wishes for herself.

Rich is out with his son Joe teaching him about life and it’s lame.  I like this family but lately Rich has been a little mean and two faced so he is not that interesting anymore.  Kathy is a follower not a leader and she borders on pathetic.  They don’t have anything to show about Kathy and Rich so they bring in their kids, but they are not that interesting either.  Too bad.

Albie is driving Ashlee to the airport and as much as I love my readers and want to provide them with a thorough recap, I cannot listen to this.  Ashlee is ridiculous.  Albie is ridiculous.  I cannot do it.  She is wishing she could be drunk, and talking about things that prove we are not dealing with a scientist here.  She is a mess and the blame can be placed on her mom.

Joe and Melissa are up next trying to show us they are successful and rich. Melissa is complaining about Teresa and I don’t get the point of it.  Do they want us to think they are rich?  Is showing his booming business right after they show us Joe’s failing business supposed to make them look fabulous? The editing here is shameful and Melissa is shady.  Not cool.

Ashlee misses her plane and Jac is gross about it.  She really does not seem to care about this child and makes no attempt to hide it.  She did not hug or kiss her good bye, and is annoyed she is coming back to the house.  Jac is humiliating her kid and I think that is wrong. I am skipping over the Ashlee is a moron segment and will return when I can stomach this crap.

Everyone is now at Jac’s house, with Teresa on the way.  Melissa and Joe are trashing Teresa and Caroline and Kathy jump on the bandwagon.  Teresa arrives looking gorgeous, while Caroline looks like crap. She apologizes again for her any hurt feeling her book caused and it’s stupid.  It was not an apology, which is fine because she does not owe anyone anything.

This is a group of people who are jealous.  They cannot stand that Teresa is the only one to turn the show into a moneymaker.  Black Water? On Display? Kathy’s Bakery?  No success here at all.  Melissa makes a dig at Teresa and it’s dumb.  Bravo is systematically ruining every city in this franchise, making it impossible to watch.  I will be sad to give up New Jersey.

The men go to play poker while the women stay in the kitchen.  Cut to the next day and Juicy has a black eye. Turns out Juicy and Rich got into a little wrestling match and end up getting into a fight.  We learn that Rich does not have balls and Juicy likes to grab balls.  With each passing moment I feel more sorry for Teresa. She is rich in success and poor in support.

We are back with Kathy and her family and I want to go to bed.  These kids and this family are not interesting so why bore us in this way?  I have no idea what is happening in this scene because I am checked out.  Some kid is sending naked pics to Kathy’s son and she is mortified, but he is thrilled. Does anyone in the world think this scene was interesting?  Not me.

Melissa is recording her new song and I want to impale myself.  Dear Lord, why are we spending so much time watching her get auto-tuned?  Just when I think I might choke on my own vomit, it’s Milania time.  I LOVE THIS LITTLE GIRL.  Every one of Teresa’s kids is divine and these girls need their own show.  They are all fabulous but Milania is simply perfection.

Joe is home with the girls alone and it’s sad.  He is not focused on the kids and Gia is acting like the caretaker, which makes me cringe because she is just a little girl.  Juicy has the boys over for cards and it’s lame.  We know what happened here and it’s been months, so why bore us now?  Surely they had better footage than this.  Juicy is a douche, but so are the other men.

Teresa is at a book signing and some chick goes off about Juicy and his court case and it’s painfully scripted.  Meanwhile Melissa and Joe Gorga are having dinner and she has a surprise for him.  He guesses she is pregnant, but the surprise is her presentation of her new ballad.  She is dedicating it to him and call me nuts, but I love Joe and how he loves Melissa. 

The song is not that great and I wonder if she actually wrote it.  She said it was about her thoughts about Joe, but if she didn’t write it then whose thoughts are they?  I think she probably has a nice voice but they are making her into a pop star which she is just too old to be.  She should have focused on being a singer not on reliving her childhood dreams.

Chris Manzo is talking and I’m not listening.  Why in the world do we care about any of the Manzo kids?  Enough.  Joe loves the song from Melissa and rewards her with some poison.  Jac pulls out baby pictures and pretends to be sad about Ashlee, and I could care less about any of it.  This show is about hating Teresa because everyone else on the show is boring.

This week WWHL was a continuation of the Teresa bashing. Kelly Osbourne went on and on about how horrible Teresa is and Andy said nothing.  Jac humiliates her daughter relentlessly, and then says she is great now.  This show is a hot mess of crap and next week looks like a train wreck but rather than the good reality TV kind, it is the kind that is unable to keep it real.

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April 27, 2012 | 9:27 pm

Celebrity Apprentice: What is that smell?

Posted by Ilana Angel

I’m sorry this took so long to get posted!  I watched the show last week and just did not have the energy to blog it because, quite frankly I find Aubrey and Lisa to be exhausting.  By exhausting of course I mean in the want to punch something way, not the great sex kind of way.  These chicks suck.

We start off with Lisa giving her winnings to her charity.  I love the charity part of this show but her hair ribbon is just too much for me and I’m skipping over it.  Happy they got the money, hope they get more, but I can barely listen to her without the lame ribbon so it’s not happening.

The task is assigned in Trump’s apartment.  I love this guy.  He says he rarely shows it to anyone.  Really?  We’ve all seen the apartment a dozen times.  It’s tacky and fabulous, but we’ve seen it.  The task is to launch Trump’s new fragrance for men, Success.  They are working with Macys.

Clay and Aubrey are going to be the project managers and the winner, if Trump loves the campaign, will get$100K.  If it sucks, they are only getting $20K.  It’s Clay, Penn, Lisa and Dayana against Aubrey, Teresa and Arsenio.  Clay is knocking Penn right off the bat.

Dayana offers to model for the campaign and Lisa is using every ounce of her being to not lose it.  Her jealousy is palpable.  Aubrey looks like a man.  An odd little man.  She starts bossing everyone and I am on my way to another headache.  I have wine so I shall trudge ahead.

The executives from Macys and the Trump organization visit the teams and Clay is respectful and charming, Aubrey is a bulldozer who does not care about what the executive are saying, and is so in love with her own voice she just keeps talking, but is not making any sense.  She is a loser.

Penn did not want to be the project manager, yet he has all the ideas.  It makes no sense that he did not want to lead.  With the game half over and the charity money up for grabs, it was lame that he did not take the job.  It is a predictable clue that he will be the one sent home this week.

Clay is annoyed with Penn, Penn is cocky, Lisa is bitchy and Dayana is gorgeous.  Chicks don’t do it for me, but Dear Lord she is spectacular looking.  Over with Aubrey, she is doing her own thing, not listening to anyone, and being bossy.  Who the hell is this girl?  I want her gone.

While taking pictures of the New York City skyline, we learn Aubrey wears Spanx, and that even though Arsenio thinks she is a skanky whore, he would still sleep with her.  Men are pigs.  I would give anything for this show to cut out all the recapping and go down to an hour.  Anything!

Aubrey is on the phone with Eric Trump and calls him “babe”, which was gross.  She is bulldozing through the task and I am clicking the mute button on occasion which make her much more tolerable.  She sends off Arsenio and Teresa so she can be alone and not deal with them.

Clay is unable to make a decision and keeps changing his mind, which is probably because he is unable to focus with all the hair color seeping into his scalp.  The best part of this show is the commercials for America’s got Talent with Howard Stern.  I love Howard and can’t wait for that.

Dayana is modeling with a gorgeous man and Clay is salivating over him.  She then says she hopes Lisa is not trying to break her peanuts, which made me spit out really good wine.  She meant bust her balls, but this was more charming.  I wonder if Clay got a date with the model.

Eric Trump stops by to check on the team and the only one there is Aubrey. She throws her team under the bus while flirting.  I think it was flirting.  She sucks at it, he is not buying into her charms, and even calls her on how unsupportive she is of her team.  Aubrey is a pig.

Dayana comes up with the idea that they should have a take away for the display and Clay says there is no time, which means that their not having a take away will be one of things that reflects badly on them.  Arsenio comes up with a great idea and Aubrey is pissed off that it was not hers.

Aubrey is doing everything, which makes Arsenio sit back and think out how he will throw her under the bus in the boardroom. Teresa, in her heals and super tight skirt, is painting and running and getting it done.  She is a rock star on this show and I’d like to see her in the finals.

Lisa goes next door to sneak a look at the display of the other team and it’s just lame.  This show is dragged out so much with useless things that I find myself getting more resentful every week that it is two hours long. Thankfully I have mastered the art of making a mojito, so whatever.

Aubrey wears the make up of a hooker/show girl in Vegas.  She then calls herself a mini Trump.  Really?  I am watching them view their completed displays for the first time and I’m done.  I am fast forwarding over this part.  I could be missing something great, but probably not.

Important to note I am at the 1 hour mark and am bored with blogging it.  This proves my point that it should only be an hour long.  Aubrey is presenting their project and it makes me want to hurl.  Her voice makes my lower back hurt and my left arm is tingly.

Teresa is adorable during the presentation.  Love her.  Aubrey calls the smell strip a keepsake and now I’m laughing.  She is a moron.  They finish and Arsenio says on the count of three to say Unanimous.  Turns out nobody on this team can count which once again make me spit up wine.

Clay does their presentation and tanks.  He is not articulate, cool, or interesting.  He asks his team to help him out and nobody says a thing.  They are all so calculated.  They are quiet so if the presentation is why they lose they are not responsible.  So freaking predictable.

I am now being asked to sit through a 45 minute boardroom.  Not happening.  They are looking at each others work and I’m now officially bored.  Aubrey is flirting with the Trumps but she looks dirty so nobody is taking it seriously. She is unfortunate looking.

Arsenio says he came up with the quote for their presentation and Aubrey says it was her.  Blah. Blah. Blah.  Aubrey came up with it, and it happened to also be a quote from Trump. Arsenio did nothing on this task and he is grasping at straws to stay alive.

Trump announces neither of the displays was worth $100K so instead he gives $40K to the winner, which is Aubrey.  He then gives all the other players $10K for their charities.  Aubrey screams in delight and we get an insight into her bedroom life, which is shrill and not sexy.

Clay is defending himself, Lisa and Dayana are quiet, and as we suspected early on, Penn is going home. The boardroom is boring without Aubrey and Arsenio fighting.  I like Penn and thought he was smart, but he was an outsider from the beginning so no big surprises here.

I wonder if Trump smells like money.  I find him oddly attractive and am curious how he is in bed.  Does anyone else think about that?  Trump thinks it may be time to fire Dayana and it looks like next week he might.  I’m watching, but it’s getting hard.  Trump is fun, but not keeping it real.

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April 26, 2012 | 9:21 am

A Bethenny Blog for Ireland

Posted by Ilana Angel

I have not written about Bethenny for a few weeks.  It’s hard to watch her let alone write about her.  I have not recapped the last couple of weeks of Bethenny Ever After because it’s a broken record.  She recycles the same jokes, the same stories, and the same drama.  The other issue is that when I watch it I find myself on the verge of projectile vomiting and that is just not cute.  Bethenny has become really bad for Bethenny.

I was quite content to not blog about her for a while, until Ireland stepped in.  I have many readers in Ireland and talk about luck of the Irish, they don’t get Bethenny’s current season and are relying on my recaps to keep them in the loop.  So cute that they reached out to ask me to blog, and so sad they are craving info on the train wreck that is Bethenny Frankel. I often wish we did not have her show here.  Ah, the luck of the Irish.

I am going to blog about Bethenny today for Ireland.  This one is for you!  I am going to make it quick to avoid any heaving, but you will get the idea.  I will recap the last episode of Bethenny Ever After so you can join in the nightmare. Important to note she has the roughest life in the world and we must all take pity on her and her very difficult life.  Also worth mentioning, Bethenny is a pathological liar who likes to wallow in her own crap.

It’s Bethenny’s birthday and she has gone to Mexico with Jason and her entire staff.  By staff of course I mean her “friends”.  I find it interesting that all of her friends are on payroll.  Jason is explaining how exhausting his life has become because all they do is fight.  We know you fight Jason.  We have been watching her rip your balls off for years.  Maybe you are tired because selling your soul to the devil for money is a lot of work.

Bethenny and Jason are at dinner and she immediately sets into attack mode.  She is complaining he does not trust her.  She also says that it’s ironic the trust has nothing to do with infidelity.  Why is that ironic?  Is it because she has cheated in the past and so one would think she was not cheating again?  It was an odd thing to say and I’m curious what she meant by it. Then Bethenny reminds us of exactly why she is so repulsive.

Bethenny has decided that should something happen to her and Jason they will place Bryn in the care of their employee RaRa.  Jason has two loving and caring parents, but they would leave her with someone they have known for a year?  Those grandparents love her more than anyone and yet they are out?  RaRa is good because she buys her presents?  Really?  Bethenny is lame. Why not give her to Julie, who is in fact Bryn’s Godmother?

Watching Jason and Bethenny bicker constantly is not entertaining.  That she is willing to take her show to this level is interesting.  It’s a series of fighting, miscommunication, self-pity, and blatant meanness.  They are horrible to each other.  Jason is mean to her too, but he clearly tries to keep it private whereas Bethenny wants everything on camera.  Bethenny went from being spontaneous and fun to simply horrid and shrill.

Bethenny is walking around in a bikini and like her or not, her body is banging. She looks great from the neck down.  The staff/friends arrive and Bethenny is clearly relieved to not have to spend time alone with Jason.  They are all on the beach, with Bryn, and a little boy comes over to visit. Bethenny takes the opportunity to make sexual innuendoes in front of the kids.  Seriously, this chick is just not funny or appealing.

Bethenny and Jason fight again, and she takes off to have lunch with RaRa and Jason stays with the baby.  Bethenny lets us know they are still fighting about money, his family, and the same crap we have been listening to for years.  It is just gross.  Bethenny says she tells Jason she does not respect him and he is equally mean to her.  It’s bad of both of them but I’d be willing to bet on who throws the first punch.  Bethenny likes the drama.

Bethenny is at lunch with RaRa and I must say I like RaRa.  She is calm and lovely.  Bethenny drinks a lot which is interesting. Bethenny calls Jason in the room and asks him to join her for lunch, is then surprised when he hangs up on her.  She is so bitter and depressing I would have hung up on her too. She is mean to Jason and spends a lot of time humiliating her husband for the world to see.  By the world of course I mean not Ireland.  Lucky.

Bethenny is once again talking about how she is damaged and I want to cut myself.  These two need to break up.  There is no trust, no love, no respect, no joy, no fun, no peace.  Why stay?  They don’t appear to even like each other.  They are talking in circles around each other.  Each think the other is meaner and the other is in more pain.  There is no reason to be airing this dirty laundry on television and to leave this as a legacy for Bryn is gross.

Sidebar:  I think the best thing Bethenny can do for herself is get in touch with Jill Zarin.  Bethenny was her best self when she was with Jill and I think she needs her back in her life.  Their break up was silly and a true waste.  Bethenny needs Jill, now and they should reach out to each other.  I really think Jill could be good for her right now.  Jill was authentic and Bethenny needs a real friend right now, not one that she pays for.

Jason and Bethenny have this awful morning and lunch, then go to a couples massage.  It was stupid.  If they think we think there is any sexual chemistry between them they are insane.  It’s a lame scene and served no purpose on the show except to disgust us and make us all feel dirty.  I need another cocktail to get through it.  A real cocktail, not a Skinnygirl crap juice. This show is stupid and shows signs of being bipolar.  I’m so done.

Bethenny and Jason have been going at it for the entire vacation, now all of a sudden they are touchy feely and in love. Ridiculous.  Bethenny is talking about her mother as they share a birthday, and it’s so stupid.  Call your mother and get over it.  Karma is a bitch and as the mother of a daughter she should be trying to mend her relationship instead of bitching about it all the time.  Your life is hard.  We get it.  Snap out of it already.

Jason gives Bethenny a necklace for her birthday and she cannot hide the fact that she does not like it.  Her fake response is actually quite funny. She does not like the length and keeps trying to shorten it.  Miraculously, if you jump ahead a few minutes, she is wearing the necklace but it has been shortened.  This show is lame and if it were not for the magnificent country of Ireland, I would be using my time much more wisely.

It’s Bethenny’s birthday dinner and she is with her paid friends, Jason and Bryn.  They give her a book of pictures of her journey and I want to hurl.  She is fake crying, sniffing, and it is calculated and fake.  She can try to make us feel sorry for her all she wants, but it’s not happening. There is something just not real about her reactions to anything.  It is all scripted and she‘s not a good enough actress to make me buy it.

Julie writes about how much she has enjoyed their time together and you have got to wonder about Julie’s leaving.  She is the Godmother yet not in line to get Bryn incase of a tragedy. She is the godmother, yet not invited to friends weekend in the Hamptons, but rather left at the office with the other paid friends.  I think Julie got sick of being used and decided to get a life instead of getting buried under Bethenny’s fake life.

Next week actually looks like it will be good.  By good I mean I may need to blog about it because it will be layers and layers of crap, and that is blogging gold.  This show is sad and no amount of money or fame is worth doing this to a family.  I feel bad for everyone on this show, including Bethenny.  She got what she wanted and in the end will have nothing that really matters.  She is famous, rich, alone, lonely and unable to keep it real.

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April 23, 2012 | 9:12 am

Real Housewives of New Jersey: It’s On!

Posted by Ilana Angel

It feels like we have been waiting for this show to air forever.  The trailers Bravo has been showing have been fabulous and made the anticipation even greater.  They are making it appear as if this will be a season of Teresa bashing so that will be interesting.  She is clearly the breakout star, the most famous and popular of the ladies, so of course there will be problems.

We start the show by recapping a few things from last year and we are quickly reminded that of all the housewives franchises, this is the best television. They are the most authentic women in terms of family dynamics. Plus every group has their kids on, and in terms of entertainment value, this is the best bunch of kids.  Jersey is back, so let the blogging begin!

This season was shot last summer so we already know how half the storylines will play out but it does not matter.  They are compelling and we are all going to get hooked.  I’m 2 minutes into the show and I’m already excited about next week.  Everyone is getting ready to go to the shore for the summer and we start with Kathy and Melissa hanging by the pool.

Teresa’s cookbook has come out and everyone is pissed off about it.  They think what she wrote about all of them is untrue and so rather than talk to Teresa about it, they are going to bash her on camera so that we can see the true depth of their jealousy.  Love it.  Melissa, Joe, Kathy and Richie are together and Richie is starting up trouble with the book.

Melissa is acting holier than thou about the book, and Kathy is trying to take the high road but it is an epic failure.  These people cannot stand Teresa and how popular she has become.  Richie is rude, Kathy is a bitch, Melissa is jealous, and Joe does not hesitate to bash his sister on camera. Kathy’s sister Rosie is there, and this chick seriously needs her own show.

There is a BBQ happening at Jac’s house with Caroline and her brood, and Teresa and her bunch.  Jac talked last year about how she was done and not coming back, yet here she is.  This woman is a bore and her need to humiliate her daughter, no matter how out of line this child is, is gross to me.  She should be ashamed of what she does to Ashley on camera for all to see.

Caroline and her children are all a little heavier, and a little crankier.  By cranky of course I mean their jealously of Teresa follows them around like a cloud over their heads.  They used to all be such good friends and it is proof that jealousy can rip lives apart.  The Manzo’s are sad Black Water is a such a flop and they blame Teresa.  This season is going to be fabulous.

Important to note that I have interviewed Teresa Guidice and Melissa Gorga recently and I found Teresa to be fabulous and Melissa shady.  Teresa was very open and funny. Melissa was also very open, but her answers were rehearsed.  She was lovely, but Teresa was real.  I liked Teresa more than I liked Melissa, but this is not a blog about who I like or don’t like as people, just on the show.

My conversations were not about the show..  I don’t know these women, and talking for an hour or tweeting back and forth does not make them my friends.  They were both great ladies off the show with me, but on the show I think there is a simplicity to Teresa that is nice, and a complicated web to Melissa that is not so nice, but who cares?  It’s just television right?

Teresa arrives and nobody is thrilled to see her.  Teresa takes Caroline outside to clear the ar.  She knows Caroline is pissed about the cookbook, so she tries to ease the tension.  She tells her she meant no harm and the things Caroline is upset about were just jokes.  Teresa was in fact out of line in her book, but the reaction of everyone is over the top because of jealousy.

Caroline is bitter and it shows.  Jacqueline is stupid and it shows.  Teresa is oblivious and it shows.  Everyone is getting ready to go to the shore and it’s hilarious.  Teresa has the funniest and most beautiful kids.  Gia is like a grown up and Melania is perfect television. Juicy Joe is obviously embarrassed by his troubles and is not a happy or kind camper.

Jac has a meeting with her life coach and I am laughing at the fact that she is paying someone to come to her house to say her life sucks and she needs to change it.  Read my blog for free Jac, or have an honest moment on Twitter and people will tell you what to do.  I just don’t like Jac on this show. She is not honest, changes her sides constantly, and favors her sons.

Ashley has gone blonde, has no direction, and is taking advantage of her mother and step-father.  She is 20 and treading water instead of swimming forward.  Jac acts like its Ashley’s fault, but she created this monster.  Jac is always crying or yelling about Ashley.  It’s going to be a long season if we need to sit through this each week.  Still laughing at the life coach.

We head over to Melissa and Joe’s house and the “Lets Bash Teresa Show” really gets started.  Sad they feel the need to bash her in front of their kids, but whatever. I get that Joe is defending his wife to his sister, but why throw his sister under the bus?  Melissa talks about Teresa and how she is manipulative but there is something about Melissa that does not ring true.

Teresa and Joe are off to the shore and it’s sad.  Teresa is driving because Joe has no license.  Joe is being a pig.  He is rude, abrasive with his kids, and it’s uncomfortable.  Gia is obviously aware of the gossip and it is heartbreaking.  I feel for Teresa and think she stays with Joe for her kids, because his humiliation and disrespect of her is too much for her to stay for love.

Caroline is going through menopause and she thinks that could be what’s making her cranky.  News flash, she was a bitch long before the menopause kicked in.  Back at the shore, Joc and Melissa have a house, but it’s under construction so they go to stay with Kathy.  Silly part is that Melissa acts shocked the house is not ready.  Like she didn’t know?  So scripted.

Teresa tells Joe about Gia being old enough to understand his legal troubles, that he might go to jail, and cheats on Teresa.  Joe could care less.  He is not sympathetic to his kids, or compassionate to his wife.  He has ruined his life and does not care that he taking his family down with him.  Joe is a caveman and Teresa’s unwavering love and support for him needs to stop.

Over at Kathy’s everyone is talking about Teresa.  Again.  All any of then seem to be talking about is Teresa and it’s very predictable so they better start giving us something more or we’ll be bored before long.  Teresa’s kids are hilarious and I would watch an hour of a camera following Melania around. Teresa needs to get her own show, and an English tutor.

Kathy, Teresa and Melissa’s families are on the beach.  The kids are together and it’s nice.  Juicy Joe is being a pig, while Richie is telling Joe Gorga he needs to reach out to Teresa and let her know he has her back. Richie is nice one minute and talking trash the next.  He’s cute and funny, but he needs to decide who he is going to be on the show and stick to it.

Caroline and her daughter Lauren are out for a walk with Jac and bashing Teresa and her book.  Lauren is wearing a Black Water t-shirt and they are also drinking it.  They are the only ones drinking it because it is gross.  I’m sure the Manzo’s are pissed Teresa has turned the show into a way to make lots of money and they have not been able to make that happen.

Teresa and Joe Gorga go off to talk on their own and it is the bipolar segment.  I hear Joe talk and I believe him, then Teresa responds and I believe her.  It’s crazy.  Only they know the truth and depending on how many sips of wine I’ve had, I go back and forth like a tennis match picking sides.  These two are really great television but I am embarrassed and sad for them.

I love Teresa and I love Joe so it’s hard to watch them always fighting. Teresa is trying to pull the blinds shut on her life and Joe pulls the same blinds on his wife.  In the end they need each other and should get it all worked out.  Easier said than done when you factor Juicy and Melissa into the mix.  Those two are as responsible as Teresa and Joe for the problems.

Chris tells Ashley she needs to move out of his house and go back to Vegas. Her hair is blonde, eyebrows are black, injections have ruined her face, and she is wearing the wrong lipstick.  This kid is a mess.  She cannot make a decision, which makes her just like her mother.  Jac is punishing Ashley for being just like her.  Ashley needs to find a pole and settle in.

Too harsh?  No.  If your kid is out drinking every night with friends, is Vegas really the place you should be sending her too?  What will she do there?  I’m guessing a pole or perhaps a bar tending license are in her future.  Jac is failing with this kid and needs to stop blaming and stop enabling.  Kick her in the ass and keep her close, don’t ship her off.

And so the first episode of season four comes to an end.  It was mellow with no real excitement, but it certainly set the tone for what is to come.  I fear this season will be a hate Teresa marathon.  By fear of course I mean hooray for great television.  I am setting aside personal favorites and watching the show with an open mind.  Time will tell if they will be keeping it real.

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April 20, 2012 | 8:39 am

Celebrity Apprentice – Lisa Loves Dayana!

Posted by Ilana Angel

This show is getting better each week.  It started out great, had a few slow weeks, and is now getting exciting.  It still does not need to be 2 hours long, but it’s getting good.  I’m ready for it to be over, but I’m in it, will stick it out to the end, and am enjoying watching Lisa Lampanelli humiliate herself, and Aubrey’s Botox distort her face each week.  So good.

This week’s task is to do a puppet show with the Stuffed and Unstrung improve troupe.  Important to note that one of the judges is Patrick Bristow from Stuffed and Unstrung.  In the interest of full disclosure, I know Patrick.  By know him of course I mean love him.  He is married to my darling friend Andy, who I write about often.  He is a delicious man.

Sidebar:  I want to let you know that the Stuffed and Unstrung show is brilliant, and if you get a chance to see it while it’s on tour, or in NYC, you simply must.  Patrick is a genius, the cast is wonderful, the puppets are delicious, and the show is fabulous.  It’s very exciting to see my friend on the show and I know he is going to do great.  Bravo Patrick!

Teresa gives her winnings to her charity and it’s sweet.  It’s worth it to sit through two hours to see charities get money.  By worth it of course I mean for the charity, not for those watching.  Two hours is painful.  Lisa is PM for her team and Paul Sr. is leading his.  Clay swaps teams so we are now Arsenio, Paul Sr., Teresa and Aubrey vs. Penn, Clay, Dayana and Lisa.

Lisa immediately starts the attack on Dayana.  She simply hates Dayana because she is beautiful.  Lisa is a cold, bitter, bitch who is ugly inside and so Dayana is her kryptonite.  She hates her and that hate is all about jealously. It’s hilarious to watch.  Sad for Dayana but really great television for us. Rather than try to hide her hatred, Lisa thrives off of it.

Lisa immediately lets everyone know she is the greatest improve performer in the history of mankind.  Dayana tells the team she has been studying improv for a year and a half and she would like to be one of the puppeteers and the character would be a funny Latina.  Lisa is pissed off that Dayana thinks she can do what she does.  Lisa is a lunatic.

Over with Aubrey, she is convinced she is the only talented one on her team, and knows she needs to lay low because everyone hates her and she is not a team player.  The ego on this chick is fascinating.  She appears to have no talent, yet she thinks she is the greatest thing ever.  She is either medicated or perhaps just delusional and rather dumb.

Teresa is adorable.  She is not pretentious or stuck up, just real, honest, and uncomplicated.  She is working hard and I dig her here.  Paul is sweet but useless on this task, and Aubrey is trying to be a team leader but careful not to overstep her place.  She is still leading though.  She is “suggesting” everything to Paul and he is in over his head so he just lets her.

Lisa is going to do everything she can to keep Dayana out of the task.  She is hateful.  She then decides she and Clay will be the puppeteers and the best part is that Lisa’s puppet is going to be a Latina.  Lisa is going to be a Latina puppet rather than Dayana?  Dayana then does an impression of Lisa and it is the most perfect moment of the night.

The teams need to design their puppets and it really looks like a fun task. Penn and Dayana are designing puppets on their team.  Lisa is sure to tell Dayana that she needs her puppet to be really pretty.  She then lets the camera know, in her best condescending tone, that Dayana is getting busy work because she is useless.  Lisa is a nut job.

Paul is in over his head, clearly going to get fired, and so he is setting Teresa up as the weakest link early.  Aubrey is talking on and on and on and on.  I zone her out now.  She says nothing of interest and her voice is based in her nose so I can’t stand to listen to her talk.  I think Lisa and Aubrey are horrific, but certainly good train wrecks.

Teresa, Arsenio, Lisa and Clay get lessons in puppeteering and it’s hilarious. Teresa is great television. She is just cute, and watching the mother of four struggle to remember a nursery rhyme is hilarious.  Aubrey is going to be the host/MC for her team, and Penn will take it on for his.  Dayana has no role other than sewing some eyes on a puppet and she is pissed.

That said, her puppet is gorgeous and the Stuffed and Unstrung puppet makers are in awe of her workmanship.  Eric comes by to check on the team and he can feel the tension from Dayana.  He pushes Dayana to sell her team out, but she won’t because she is a lady.  Lisa is a pig and Dayana is a lady. By pig of course I mean bitch.  I don’t want to be mean to pigs.

They are practicing with the puppets and I’m skipping over it.  Two hours is brutal so if I miss something great here, oh well.  I will say that in the few minutes of rehearsal I watched, I thought Lisa sucked and Teresa rocked. Aubrey is trying to embarrass Teresa and say it will be on her shoulders to win the task, but at the end of the day Teresa rocks and Aubrey sucks.

Clay suggests Dayana help with the puppets and Lisa looses her mind.  She does not want Dayana anywhere near the puppets.  Dayana tries to share that she is not really doing anything, but Lisa goes off.  Lisa gets mad and starts crying.  She is talking about how she does this every night and Dayana is a useless pain in the ass.  Lisa once again does all the work.

She is screaming at Dayana to shut up, stop being a baby, and telling her she’s useless.  Dayana walks off crying, which makes her look even more beautiful.  I am loving Dayana a little more every week.  Back in the dressing room Lisa is now having a nervous breakdown.  She is crying, hysterical, and telling Penn and Clay they need to support her not Dayana.

Lisa is saying she needs back up, and while she is being a lunatic Penn gets up and walks out. Penn is a gentle giant and I love him.  He goes to check on Dayana and listens to her but it’s just weird.  This girl is getting beaten down by a bitter hag and nobody has anyone’s back.  It’s time for the puppet show and I imagine there is more crying to come.

Lisa is okay as a puppet, but Clay is fabulous.  I still think Clay is bitchy, but he is getting better.  Lisa is not as talented as she thinks she is, and her talking about how she has been doing this job for years is getting old.  Its the other teams turn and Aubrey wants us to think she is keeping the team alive, and Arsenio thinks there is a country called Norwegia.

If Clay and Teresa had been on the same team it would have been the best puppet show ever.  Teresa is adorable, but Aubrey wants us to thinks she sucked.  Paul has done nothing on this task and he is going home.  This show is just too predictable to go for 2 hours.  I’m actually a little bored and annoyed which is a drag. Aubrey makes me want to hit her.

I have no idea which team did the better show, but I do know that the sun revolves around the earth because of Aubrey, and beautiful people are dumb, thanks to Lisa.  I also know that Patrick Bristow is divine, puppets are fun, and Lisa Lampanelli is a mean girl who is probably in love with Dayana and since she knows she will be rejected, she is attacking her.

That’s it!  Lisa is in love with Dayana!  It all makes perfect sense now.  She is mean to her because she loves her.  Her outburst are not driven by hate, but rather love.  It makes Lisa almost likable that she is tormented by her desire for Dayana.  By almost of course I mean not at all.  Lisa is a troll, Dayana is a goddess and that is simply never happening.

In the boardroom Dayana tries to be gracious in how she speaks of Lisa, but Lisa immediately throws Dayana under the bus..  Trump asks Lisa who she will bring back into the boardroom if they lose and she bursts into tears. Again.  She is rambling about being a comedian, and that she does not want to be a villain.  Really?  She sucks and is mean.

Lisa says if they lose she may bring just herself in because as a comedian, on a challenge to make people laugh, the failure would be hers.  Penn is talking about being a comedian and I totally dig him.  Lisa is embarrassing herself, ruining her hardcore image, and needs to start drinking so she can numb the pain of her love for Dayana not having a shot in hell.

Lisa’s team wins and Dayana is once again a lady in congratulating her team leader.  I may actually be in love with Dayana too.  In the boardroom Teresa and Paul are going at it.  He thinks she was the weakest link, she thinks he did nothing.  Paul is blaming Teresa for everything and she is not standing for it.  She is going to go Teresa on his ass if needed.

Aubrey and Arsenio refuse to pick someone to be fired, but both lean towards firing Teresa without saying to fire her.  Lame.  They are all so afraid of a table flip they won’t say they like Paul more.  Paul is going, we knew it the minute he threw his back out, so they should have just gotten behind Teresa.  I like ithat she is fighting for herself.

Aubrey immediately lets Trump know everyone loves her and there is no way she should be in the boardroom.  It’s hard to listen to the banter because it’s so predictable.  Paul is not going to attack Teresa, there are no fireworks, just a feeling of finally get there already! Maybe next week Lisa will let Dayana know she loves her.  That would be keeping it real!

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April 18, 2012 | 9:04 am

A Conversation with Roxanne of All About TRH

Posted by Ilana Angel

The world of reality television blogging is fascinating.  By fascinating of course I mean cutthroat.  It is a world where reality stars can talk to 5 bloggers in one day and each blogger calls it an “exclusive”.  For a genre of entertainment that is all about being real, there is not a lot of reality.

I talk to a few other bloggers on Twitter, and there are some lovely people who have chosen to get on the blogging train.  For every sweet person there is one who is in desperate need of both medication and incarceration.  It makes sense that the madness of reality TV would attract crazy.

I had been hearing a lot about a blogger called Rox.  She has a site called All About The Real Housewives and people seem to adore this woman.  I then started to get mentioned with her on Twitter.  People would tweet that Rox and I were their favorite bloggers and so I was very curious about her.

She would send me tweets saying hello, and when people would say they liked us both, she would always be gracious and say she was in good company with me.  I started to follow her on Twitter and began reading her site.  She is a talented writer with a kind heart, who has managed to remain decent.

She is able to write about people without judgment, and provides information without sounding like a trashy gossip rag.  Rox engages her readers in a way that they feel involved and connected.  I was intrigued so I wrote to ask if I could interview her.

I spoke with Rox this week and I was blown away.  She is not what I was expecting.  This is a remarkable young woman.  She is not even 20 years old, which makes me old enough to be her mother.  Having spoken to her, I now feel very protective of her.  This is a truly fabulous girl.

Roxanne is a full time college student, who has a job in addition to her blog. She is a first generation American, lives at home with her mother, and is gorgeous.  She should be on television, not just writing about it. With her movie star looks, and pure heart, she is special.

Rox started writing by accident.  She was a fan who joined Twitter to follow some of the stars.  One thing led to another and before she knew it she was tweeting, blogging, and creating her own website dedicated to reality TV. She is now hugely popular and a go to blogger.

She is not mean spirited or hurtful.  She stays out of the gutter, does not engage in Twitter wars, and stands on the sidelines to watch the craziness. She is aware of everything that goes on, just opts out of the drama.  She is young, but also mature beyond her years.  She is a grown up.

In a business where grown women act like high school mean girls, she is a voice of reason.  Some of the old hags who blog could learn a thing or two from this young girl.  Myself included because I get sucked into drama and I can take a tip or two from Roxanne.

Roxanne has a great accent.  It sounds like a mixture of east coast and Canada and it fabulous.  Her parents are originally from Iraq and they are very proud of their daughter.  Her father is amazed at how big her site has become and supports her 100% in her pursuits.

Her mother sounds adorable.  She thinks reality television is ridiculous and cannot understand why we care about these people.  I wonder that myself most days.  She is from a tight Catholic family and while they don’t exactly understand how this all happened, they love her.

Roxanne decided early on that she was going to be ethical.  She spends a lot of time fact checking and researching her stories. She also will not post stories that might be hurtful.  She is not out to humiliate anyone and does not write about a lot of things that are sent to her.

In the reality blogging world we all get things sent to us for stories.  People send pictures, private documents and damaging gossip stories about reality stars.  Roxanne reads everything, but rarely prints what is clearly crap being sent from someone with a grudge or agenda.

It is because of these choices that she is so close with many reality stars.  From housewives to mob wives, people like her and trust her.  They go to her when they want to talk because they know their voices will be heard.  This young girl has earned her stripes and it shows.

Roxanne is very open.  She was also supportive and kind to me. It was interesting to get advice from her. She could be my daughter, yet at one point in our conversation, she was like my mother. She spoke to me with a gentle firmness that I appreciated.

Rox has watched my Twitter struggles and let me know I did not need to worry.  She assured me the crazy people had no power and the people who read my blogs, herself included, could hear my voice and they were not paying attention the silliness that occasionally surrounds me.

She told me I won’t ever be able to please everyone so I need to please myself.  This is a remarkable woman and I found myself wanting to hug her.  I also wanted to protect her.  She is a doll and I want her to stay true to herself without getting sucked into the drama.

She may be young, but we can all learn something from Roxanne.  Reality bloggers need to pay attention to her because she is doing the job correctly. She is not jaded or bitter.  She does her job, does it well, and stares straight ahead without paying any attention to the trolls of Twitter.

I asked Roxanne to tell me three words that best described her and she chose grateful, ambitious, and confident.  I asked her if there was anything she wanted her fans to know about her and she said she was an open book and they already knew everything.  I love this girl.

I started the interview wondering why people lumped us together as their favorite bloggers, and ended our conversation flattered that I am being kept in her company.  Roxanne allowed me to set aside my jaded view for a minute and reminded me how great my job is.

There are a lot of reality television bloggers and there is a lot of competition.  That competition can lead to people being very unkind to each other and in the end it’s not like that for Rox and me.  We respect each other, like each other, and wish the best for each other.

I am inspired by this young woman and also proud of her.  She is building a life for herself, and she is going far.  I am so pleased I was able to speak with her and am lucky to call her my friend.  In the unreal world of reality TV, Roxanne is keeping it real.

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April 13, 2012 | 8:07 am

My Conversation With Melissa Gorga

Posted by Ilana Angel

I spoke with Melissa Gorga this week and I must tell you I was surprised. I invited her for an interview long ago and it never happened, even though it was confirmed.  It did not happen due to a young assistant who was in over her head and made a mistake, so there were no hard feelings.

I wrote about the interview not happening, and I moved on.  Thanks to her professional and very sweet publicist, along with Melissa feeling bad about the screw up and wanting to fix the situation, it finally happened this week. It was simply a comedy of errors and Melissa did nothing wrong.

I am pleased to report that Melissa said “Thank you Jesus” several times and it was fabulous because I would have been disappointed had she not.  We spoke about a lot of things and while some of it did not ring true to me, she was kind and surprisingly candid, so you take what you like from it.

Melissa is a woman of faith and like me she is unapologetic about it.  She believes in God and spends a lot of time praising Jesus for the blessings in her life.  She has been thanking Jesus since she was a little girl and it’s not just us who thinks it’s entertaining.  So does her family.

She goes to church every Sunday, and usually without Joe.  He generally stays home with the boys and she goes with Antonia.  She tells Joe he needs to go and he assures her he prays and talks to God so he does not need to go to church because they are in constant contact.

Joe tells Melissa God sees him and knows him so there is no need to schlep to church.  Important to note that before we started the interview I let Melissa know I was in fact in love with her husband.  She needed to know so there was no tension, plus I was not sure I could hide it.

We spoke a little bit about how life has changed since they began on the show and she told me it has not changed that much.  She let me know life was certainly simpler when she didn’t need to explain herself all the time, but overall she thinks life is pretty much the same.

I think her response is silly.  You cannot go on a reality television with the type of following that RHONJ has, and tell me that your life is the same.  Her family has been ripped apart for the world to see so how has nothing changed? There were problems before, but going public changes it all.

Before the show Melissa was not on Twitter having people hate her and wish her harm.  I am on Twitter and I have seen people bash her as it their lives depended on it, so if she thinks I believe her life is the same now as it always was, then she must think I’m an idiot, which I am not.

She is surprised by the amount of time put into negative comments about her on Twitter.  She can read an attack in the morning, go to the gym, take the kids to school, grocery shop, clean the house, make dinner, and then check Twitter again and the same person is still talking about her.

She understand that people are interested in the show and she is grateful for that, but she has learned to not pay too much attention to the hate and truly likes Twitter, so she tries to keep it fun and not dark.  She also assured me that her sisters are not bullying on Twitter.

They are all busy with their kids and their husbands, and simply do not have the time to dedicate to Twitter in the way people think they do.  She enjoys Twitter and it makes her sad that so many people make it dark.  If you follow me on Twitter you know I’m going to agree on this one.

There are people on Twitter whose only job is to be on Twitter.  They stalk, bully, torment and actively try to destroy people and both their reputations and spirit.  There is a group of people on Twitter who hate her, but I have haters too so Twitter, while interesting, is not important here.

We spoke a lot about her husband Joe and I must tell you that when she talks about him you can feel her smile over the phone.  This is a woman in love with her husband.  She is old school in the way she views her husband and their marriage.  Talking about Joe was my favorite part.

Melissa says when Joe talks to you, he makes direct eye contact and all bets are off.  He is hypnotizing and magical.  She loves him, perhaps as much as I do.  She describes him as special and it is lovely. She told me she adores him and thanks Jesus for their marriage, which is solid.

It hurts her feelings when people say she is a gold digger because they built their life together.  She is his partner and proud of their life. She also says he wears the pants in their relationship and he is the king of the castle.  She is a throwback to another era in terms of her marriage.

Her and the kids are in love with Joe and when he speaks, they listen.  He is in charge and while she is no pushover, the final word on things is his and she likes it like that.  He protects her and her children and takes care of them physically, emotionally and spiritually.  He is the boss.

We also spoke about Melissa’s father, and hearing her speak of her dad made me want to cry.  Her pain is real and fresh even though he died when she was 17.  She misses him every day and is angry about the things he is missing.  She is also envious of her sisters time with him.

There is 10 and 12 years difference between her and her sisters, so they got to have their father walk them down the aisle when they were married, and he met their kids which makes her happy for her sisters, but sad for herself.  She saw him as a grandfather, but not to her own kids.

She believes her father watches over her, and so do I.  Joe supports her and her dreams in the same way her dad did which a great comfort to her. She is raising her children to love and respect their father as she did hers, and it is lovely.  The death of her dad has shaped who she is.

After we talked about her dad, we got to talking about family and of course Teresa came up.  I have done many interviews with reality television personalities and they are about the people not their shows, so while I appreciated that Melissa spoke about the show, I’m not going to.

This is an article about Melissa as a person, not a real housewife.  I don’t want you to think I am keeping any juicy news from you.  Melissa told me things about her coming on the show that we have all read in a million places, and that I’m not sure I believe, but what I think does not matter.

Melissa spoke at great length about her relationship with Teresa and I want to be clear that I did not ask specific questions, but she gave specific answers.  I like both Teresa and Melissa on the show for different reasons and it changes with each episode. I have flattered and battered both.

Melissa told me she is a believer in karma, which I found to be interesting. She also told me she has only seen one or two episodes of Teresa on Celebrity Apprentice. For someone who is so big into karma, she does not seem to worry about her own which is fascinating.

If we are to believe that family is the most important thing to her, I would expect her to be watching her sister-in-law on Celebrity Apprentice.  Even if they were not getting along, that would be an even bigger reason to watch her, because you are hoping she fails.

I do not believe that Melissa does not watch Celebrity Apprentice.  I do however question her motives in lying about it.  If she watches, she should be proud of her and say so.  If she is not watching, then her stories of their family being intact are not true and there is lots of tension.

I am not picking sides and I am not that interested or invested.  I’m simply saying that there are pieces missing in her story about Teresa and if I were a gossip columnist I would report them, but I’m not.  I am writing about Melisa as a wife and mother.  From that perspective, I really like her.

I asked Melissa to tell me three words that best describe her and she used loyal, impulsive and friendly.  She also said she was sassy and a chameleon.  She said she can have dinner with the President of the United States and a homeless person, and find a way to talk to them both.

Love or hate her on the show, Melissa Gorga is charming.  The love she has for her family is epic and so in that way she is just like Teresa.  There are two camps when it comes to Mel and Tre and I understand opinions from both sides.  At the end of the day we don’t see everything.

Can we see a few hours in the life of these people, read a few magazines, follow them on Twitter, and know what the real story is?  Not a chance.  We know about these people what Bravo wants us to know and only the people living these lives can tell us what is going on in their lives.

I interviewed Teresa and I liked her.  I interviewed Melissa and I liked her too.  It’s not my job to pick a side, and while as a fan I have a side, it’s not my job.  At the end of the day Melissa Gorga is a mom and a wife, trying to do the best she can under intense scrutiny and judgment.

The upcoming season will be interesting and I’m sure Melissa will give out a few more “exclusive” interviews before it starts.  We will and pick a side, but that is what reality television demands of us.  If the commercials are any indication of what’s to come, sides will form quickly.

I am going to watch the new season and I will blog it for as long as I can stand to watch.  I wish Melissa well with the show and I am happy she is there.  She is a nice girl, caught up in a big life and that is exciting and scary.  I thank her for taking the time to talk to me.

Melissa is a sweet girl and I think she is doing the best she can under a lot of pressure.  Fame is enticing and it can take some time to understand how it all works.  I think once she gets into the swing of it, people will see that she was not mean, but simply misguided.

Once the season begins I will be unkind at some point, because I am a fan and get sucked in.  I will be honest, and I will change my mind often.  At the end of the day, regardless of the show, I like Melissa Gorga.  She puts herself on display and for the most part, keeps it real.

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April 11, 2012 | 9:27 am

Shahs Of Sunset – Poppa Can You Hear Me?

Posted by Ilana Angel

It’s a drag this season is only 6 shows because we are just starting to get into it and they will be gone.  It’s been interesting to meet these people and I hope when they return for season two, Ryan Seacrest lets go of the fake situations and just lets it flow.  These people are good television and they don’t need lame reality scripting.  We’re in Ryan, so respect us.  Let these fascinating people do their thing and let us watch.

This week starts with GG and Asa shopping together, which is ridiculous.  I’m not buying for one second that these two hang out and the awkwardness of GG makes it all painfully clear.  These forced situations are boring and just not needed.  They hate how each other dresses so how can this be enjoyable for them?  These two grabbing a drink would have been weird, so shopping is just too much. It’s cliché one liners from GG and nothing from Asa.

Reza’s mom is over visiting him and let’s be clear, this man is a star.  He is articulate, authentic, and oddly attractive.  From the facial hair, to the insane amount of product in his hair, this man is simply delicious and I love him.  He is reminiscing with his mom and it’s very sweet but sad.  She is a Muslim, and his dad is a Jew who converted to Islam to marry her.  It is a very sad scene but also riveting and impossible to turn away from.

His mom loved her husband, he cheated on her, and it was painful.  The pressures of religion were stressful and a family was torn apart.  She is clearly still scarred by it all and says she had a nervous breakdown after the divorce.  Reza is crying for the family he never got to have, she is crying for the family that she lost, and I am crying as I watch a grown man relive the pain of his childhood, and a mother weep for the pain of her child.

Sadly we jump from Reza and his beautiful mom to GG planning for a girls night out.  I really like her but she is very one dimensional and insanely predictable.  She is going out for ladies night and lets the camera know nobody better get in her face.  Really?  We know she is going to fight with someone so this whole badass persona she has going on is just silly.  There is more to GG and it’s a drag we are not getting to see it.

The girls are out for dinner and quite frankly, it is stupid because they are not all friends, and the ones who actually know each other have tension.  This group would never hang out for dinner so it’s disrespectful to us that Ryan thinks we are buying this scripted crap.  Everyone is having fun, there is no drama, and then GG decides she needs to confront MJ at dinner after she just said she will find an appropriate time to address her issues with her.

Dear Lord. It’s fake and I’m bored.  Why would GG confront MJ for coming late to her parent’s party in front of this group?  MJ is saying she was working, which I’m not buying.  MJ has a very complicated life between work and her parents and she was late.  It happens and GG needs to relax.  Asa gets involved, Asa’s friend Sunny gets involved, and Anita is chomping at the bit to get involved.  Anita wants to be a Shah, but she’s not.

Anita then confronts MJ about what happened in Vegas a million years ago. GG jumps on the bandwagon and says MJ was wrong in Vegas.  GG is supposed to be friends with MJ, but she is throwing her under the bus, which is gross. They are talking about Vegas and Sunny says GG is mean, Asa agrees, and the kabob is hitting the fan.  Sunny is on her feet telling GG she is not a nice human being and a mean girl.  GG then crosses all lines.

Sunny is telling her she is not nice and GG tells her she should go prostitute herself to make a few dollars.  It’s not entertaining, but then it just gets funny when GG tells the camera the last thing she wanted for the night was drama.  Really?  GG is all about the drama and it’s not cute.  Asa is annoyed and embarrassed.  She comes back to tell GG she was wrong. Then leaves with her friend.  Asa is calm and kind, but not authentic.

Asa is a beautiful girl who dances to her own beat and I love that about her. That said, there is something that simply does not ring true about her.  How does she live the life she lives?  I assume her Dad supports her, yet she seems to be judgmental of GG who does the same.  GG owns that she is spoiled and supported by her parents, but Asa keeps it quiet which is not cool.  Diamond water is not paid for by her music career.

GG is retelling the story of girls night to her sister and I’m skipping over it because it’s lame and boring.  MJ goes to see Sammy and she gets her birthday gift.  I like MJ and I like Sammy but this entire scene was just not needed.  It was out of place, and was a time filler to set up the trip to NY with Reza.  MJ says Sammy needs to settle down and meet a nice girl, which I guess is a set up for something next week in the finale.

Reza is going to see his dad after being estranged for years.  His dad left LA when he was a teenager and he has not had contact.  The father left not only the mother, but his child.  Reza lets us know his paternal grandmother is a million years old and the reason the marriage did not work. The conversion to Islam was too much for her and she contributed to the end of the marriage. Reza is going in with an open but broken heart.

Sidebar:  MJ talks about how she has been best friends with Sammy for 20 years, yet tells Reza the Shabbat dinner in New York will be her first.  How is it possible that her best friend, who is Jewish, would never in twenty years invite her to Shabbat dinner?  It seems odd to me that a group that claims to be so close, would not share something as basic but important as a Shabbat dinner.  Not sure why, but that bothers me.

MJ and Reza arrive to dinner and as they get ready to go in to see his family, Reza tells MJ to have his back and if they start to go after him, she needs to save him.  It is heartbreaking.  This grown man is scared and nervous and I want to hug him and tell him it will be okay.  The family embraces him and it’s awkward but lovely and once again this show is making me cry.  Reza sees his dad and I am bawling my eyes out.

Reza is nervous and it’s very sad.  They show the grandmother and I just think it’s mean.  This woman is very old, clearly unaware of the smack talk, and I think it’s unfortunate that they are showing her at all.  She is ancient, loved her son, and was broken when he left her faith.  It was a different time and a different place and while that does not make it right, it was unkind to humiliate her in this way.  I didn’t like it.

Reza takes his dad out for a private conversation and I have now gone into a full blown ugly cry.  Reza’s dad is trying to explain his mistakes and Reza is crying and begging for him to love him.  They are both emotional and it’s very sad.  Reza is telling his dad he hates his grandmother, but the fact is he will under understand the pressure that was placed on everyone in this family.  The pain is deep and it is upsetting.

Reza hugs his dad and tells him he loves him.  MJ pushes them to embrace like they mean it, which is really sweet.  It’s sad because we see Reza’s pain, we see MJ’s pain, and we see how fragile families are.  You can have all the love in the world but even that is not enough to hold families together sometimes.  I feel exhausted after this episode and really hoping they come back next season without the crapfest and just the reality.

Next week will be the season finale and it’s a drag.  There has been a lot of controversy around this show in terms of how it depicts the Persian community, but if you can look beyond that, these are interesting people, living interesting lives.  They are good television and giving us only 6 weeks is not fair.  We need to get them back and it needs to happen quickly.  Shahs of Sunset is reality television that actually tries to keep it real.

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