December 31, 2011 | 9:41 pm

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Posted by Ilana Angel

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My, my, my, what a crazy year it has been on this blog!

I love reality television and I am amazed and thrilled that my job is to write about it.

My sincerest thanks to everyone who comes by to see my take on the shows we are all addicted to!

Reality television fans are an opinionated group, and I appreciate so much that you allow me to have mine, and share yours with me.

I look forward to another fabulous year of reality fun.

I wish you all a happy, healthy, and blogger war free 2012!

Happy New Year!

ILANA

December 25, 2011 | 3:39 pm

Darrell Brown Has Pushed the Wrong Jew UPDATED

Posted by Ilana Angel

I wrote a blog this week about LeAnn Rimes and the fact that I think her behavior on Twitter, in regards to her husband’s ex-wife, is disgusting.  It was just my opinion, which is what my blog is.  I’m not a gossip columnist, just a writer who shares my opinions and views on things I think are interesting, from Judaism, to pop culture, and everything in between.

There was a lot of action on Twitter recently about LeAnn, her husband Eddie Cibrian, and his ex-wife, Brandi Glanville.  I don’t know any of them, and the blog was simply my take on a situation I have experience in.  My ex-husband never cheated, but I do think he and his second wife were rude, mean, hurtful, and purposely disrespectful to me as a mother.

To be clear, I think LeAnn is a bit of a skank.  By “bit of” of course I mean totally.  She slept with a man, while he was married, and while she was also married.  She left her husband to pursue a relationship with a man who had a family.  I am not naïve enough to believe people don’t cheat, but to me she seemed a bit obsessed with getting Eddie.

Again, just my opinion, based on news, comments from LeAnn, Eddie, Brandi, and various news outlets.  After my original blog posted, The Jewish Journal received a call from one Darrell Brown.  He spoke with the Editor-in-Chief of The Journal and stated he was a friend of LeAnn’s, and was upset that I used the word “authenticated” in terms of stories about LeAnn’s behavior.

My Editor told me about the call, and I altered the blog to say “I hear this has all been authenticated”.  It was not a big deal, and if it was what Mr. Brown needed to feel better, then I was happy to do it.  It’s a blog, not brain surgery, and it was done immediately.  Interesting to note that he took no issue with my calling LeAnn a skank, only the word "authenticated".

After Mr. Brown spoke with The Jewish Journal, he felt the need to write about me on his Tumblr page.  It is fascinating to me that someone who is clearly a successful man, would bother to write about me, but since he did, let’s talk about it.  I’m not sure if English is Mr. Brown’s first language, but by the look of his blog, I would guess no, but that’s not authenticated.

Mr. Brown’s little article was offensive and ridiculous.  You can take a look for yourself although I hope he will take it down.  If you do get a chance to read it, the spelling is hilarious.  Mr. Brown had the balls to call his crapfest “Hate and Intolerance”and went so far as to liken my writing about LeAnn to the Holocaust.  Really?  Well Mr. Brown, here we go.

I spent many years of my career working in Holocaust education at Survivors of the Shoah Visual History Foundation, and your comments about the Holocaust are offensive to me not only a Jew, but as a human being.  To compare my blog about LeAnn Rimes to the treatment of Jews, homosexuals, gypsies and blacks during World War II is shameful.

Following the posting of this blog, Mr. Brown removed the Holocaust reference from his Tumblr post.  He did not apologize for his offensive comment, simply removed it.

Mr. Brown’s comments were idiotic.  By his attempting to bash me, he showed his true colors.  He was unprofessional, childish, vengeful, and completely unaware of what the Holocaust was.  If I were in his industry I would run for the hills before working with a man of such unfortunate character.  Ignorance often trumps talent, which is the case here.

To be clear, the focus of The Jewish Journal is not to “spread the message of acceptance and understanding”, and Mr. Brown stating that the Editor-in-Chief “confessed” to him that I had “gone too far” is a lie.  My blogs are the most popular at jewishjournal.com and I am proud of my work, as is my Editor.  You have pushed the wrong Jew Mr. Brown, and you don’t scare me.

Following the posting of this blog, Mr. Brown removed all mention of my Editor from his Tumblr post.  He did not apologize for lying, simply removed the comment.

Now, if Mr. Brown would like to talk to me, I am happy to.  I am also happy to speak with Ms. Rimes and allow her to tell her side of the story.  I am also happy to go to court so anyone who is interested can see what is authenticated and what are allegations.  I was simply sharing my opinion on a subject that has been widely reported on. To compare this blog to the Holocaust is offensive and and only proves one thing.  Mr. Brown is a jackass.

I would like to invite Mr. Brown and Ms. Rimes to join me for a tour of The Shoah Foundation.  Perhaps if they were properly educated about what the Holocaust was, and the genocides that continue around the world today, then maybe they could understand how horribly wrong the Tumblr article was.

At the end of the day, I stand by my opinions.  I think LeAnn Rimes is disgusting.  I think Darrell Brown is idiotic.  I think Eddie Cibrian is doing a disservice to his children by allowing their mother to be treated this way.  I think Brandi Glanville has the best interest of her children in mind.  That is my truth, and this is America, so I’m just keeping it real.

*I feel strongly that Mr. Brown owes an apology to each and every person who was touched by the Holocaust. In fact, he owes an apology to to every human being who lives with a compassionate heart, and knows that genocides are continuing in the world today. Time for a reality check.

The Talmud says that he who saves one soul, it is as if he saved the entire world.  Maybe this is the time for Mr. Brown to be saved, and therefore a blessing that all this happened around my blog.  I am not sorry for anything that I have written.  I was writing about a subject that many have written about, and Mr. Brown entered into it on his own, and made it personal.

I am not going to remove my blogs, and chances are I will probably write about this subject again.  That said, thanks to Mr. Brown, this blog is no longer about LeAnn Rimes.  It is now about tolerance, compassion, and doing the right thing. 

Write an apology Mr. Brown.  Do it because you know you were wrong.  You can continue to pray that I get fired, and you can keep trying to make that happen, and you don’t need to apologize for that at all.  Just as I shared my voice about you, you are able to share yours about me.

I am asking you to please issue an apology for your insensitive comments in regards to the Holocaust.  I will accept your apology and life will go on.  In the future, you can have a go at me anytime you want, but go after me.  Not my faith, the history of my people, or the atrocities that have forever shaped the history of the world.

Mr. Brown, I am sorry if your feelings were hurt.  This is now about doing the right thing.  I would like an apology from you, and I will happily repost your letter of apology here, so my readers and community can see it.  I’ve done my part, now it’s your turn to keep it real.

 

**I HAVE NEVER RECEIVED AN APOLOGY.  MR. BROWN HOWEVER, DID ANNOUNCE ON TWITTER TODAY THAT HE IS SUING ME FOR SLANDER.

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December 23, 2011 | 1:02 pm

Brandi Glanville, LeAnn Rimes & Twitter

Posted by Ilana Angel

There have been a lot of articles written lately about reality TV star Brandi Glanville and LeAnn Rimes.  To recap: Brandi was married to actor Eddie Cibrian, and they have 2 young sons.  Eddie cheated on Brandi with LeAnn while making a movie together.  He left Brandi for LeAnn, and has now married her.  Not an unusual story.

Marriages fall apart all the time, people cheat, and marry who they cheated with often.  The difference here is that it has all played out in public.  LeAnn is a successful singer, Eddie is an actor, and Brandi is finding success as a reality television star, having been added this season to the cast of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

What makes this situation so fascinating is Twitter.  Twitter is a bizarre world to be sure.  I am on Twitter and have met some interesting people.  People follow me to read my blogs, and read my tweets.  I like it actually, and enjoy following people.  My favorite “person” to follow on Twitter is @LuckytheBeagle.  Follow this dog!

There are a lot of freaks on Twitter.  It truly is a breeding ground for bullies.  I write about Bravo’s Housewives franchise a lot.  Some of those blogs have inspired people to threaten to kill me, hurt my child, and get me fired.  One person even said if I was not going to start being nice to Bethenny Frankel, they would find me and beat me up.

There is very little monitoring of Twitter and when I wrote them with the death threat, they suggested I simply block the person who made the threat.  It’s creepy, and if it was not so pathetic and funny, it would be terrifying.  There are a lot of lonely people online who use Twitter as a way to pretend they are friends with celebrities.

It’s a shame for the regular, fun and entertaining people who use Twitter to connect with their friends and the world at large.  I get a kick out of Twitter and it’s unfortunate that a few crazy people try to suck the joy out of it. You can block them all you want, but they come back, with new names, to keep their hate and madness going.

I have been reading a lot of Tweets about Brandi and LeAnn this week and it’s incredible.  People are passionate and have chosen sides, which is expected. If I were going to pick a side, I would have to go with Brandi on this one.  It is my opinion that LeAnn Rimes has crossed a line.  By crossed a line of course I mean she is coo coo.

It appears that LeAnn goes out of her way to torment Brandi and has become a stalker of sorts.  It must come from a place of insecurity because why else would she be so hell bent on publically humiliating a woman whose children she claims to love so much?  At the end of the day, LeAnn needs to grow up, shut up, and leave this poor woman alone.

LeAnn likes to refer to herself as a “bonus mom” to Brandi’s children. Really? What LeAnn is, is a home wrecker who slept with a married man, then when she ripped apart a family, used her celebrity to bully and embarrass his ex-wife.  One could argue that Eddie is to blame, and he is, but clearly he is a coward and not worth mentioning.

I don’t know these people, but I do know, from my own experience, that LeAnn Rimes should be ashamed of herself.  She uses her fans and Twitter to inflict emotional distress on a woman that she should be apologizing to. We were not in Brandi’s marriage, and that Eddie has found love is fine, but to hurt her now, after all is said and done, is ridiculous.

When my ex-husband got remarried, my son was 4.  He called me one day and asked if he could pick up our child, as he needed to go do something special for Mother’s Day.  When my son got home, he was very excited and told me he got something very special for Mother’s Day.  He was so cute and after about 5 hours could not stand to keep the secret.

He told me he had his picture taken for a coffee mug and computer pad and they said Happy Mother’s Day.  It was the cutest thing I had ever heard of and was excited for Mother’s Day as I knew he was thrilled to give it to me. Mother’s Day came and went without so much as a card.  My ex-husband gave the presents to his new wife, and my son was crushed.

He drew me a picture that day, and we went to Color Me mine and he made me a beautiful plate.  To this day, almost 12 years later, every Mothers Day my son tells me he is sorry about the coffee mug.  As a child, he never understood why she got “my present”.  It was mean.  To this day she refers to herself as his mother and it makes me sad.

I mention my own story to make the point that kids are not stupid.  My son was young when he got a stepmother, and she assumed young meant dumb.  My child, and Brandi’s children, know who their mothers are, and they are protective of us.  They will understand one day what was said and will not be forgiving.  That time will come for LeAnn. I doubt she’ll still be married, but it’s coming.

By LeAnn trying to convince the world she is the mother of these two little boys, she is hurting them and making a fool out of herself.  She can say she loves them, but her hate for Brandi is public knowledge and one day those boys will be men and she will have a lot of explaining to do. She can’t take it back, but she can stop.

For LeAnn to use every opportunity to hurt Brandi in terms of her kids is disgusting.  She can pretend all she wants that she is the mommy, but she is not.  Eddie is a man who cheated on his wife, and walked away from his family.  He is a pig and she is a skank, so why would she want to flaunt that to anyone?  I would be hiding under a rock.

There are stories about LeAnn creating Twitter accounts to harass Brandi, and the phone number linked to some really mean tweets to Brandi, was traced back to the same number that is on LeAnn’s Twitter account. I hear this has all been authenticated, and there are even pictures of LeAnn socializing with women who harass Brandi.  LeAnn is mean spirited and very high school.

If we are to judge these three people by what we see through their celebrity, then Brandi is a class act.  She has been challenged on RHOBH and each week I find myself liking her even more.  Eddie is unemployed and apparently living with no balls, and LeAnn is a whore who cheated on her own marriage while stealing Eddie, and no longer eats.

I am certain that Brandi is not innocent in this mess, but that is irrelevant. The bottom line is that she is the mother of those children and LeAnn needs to back the hell up. Karma is a bitch and it will be interesting to see if LeAnn changes her tune when her cheating husband leaves her for someone else. Maybe then LeAnn will learn to keep it real.

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December 20, 2011 | 9:09 am

The Kardashians & Barbara Walters: Why?

Posted by Ilana Angel

Partially because I am addicted to reality television, and partially because I am a glutton for punishment, I watched 3 hours of the Kardashian crapfest and I now have a splitting headache.  Partially from the laughing, and partially from the fact that the voices on these women makes me want to cut my own ears off just to make it stop.  Why are they on TV

Let’s review:

Khloe:  She is actually quite likeable and funny.  She is entertaining and seems the least aware of the cameras.  That said, she spends a lot of time talking in a baby voice, which is incredibly annoying.  The best thing going for Khloe is Lamar, and if she moves to Dallas she might have a shot at not drowning in crap like her sisters.

Kourtenay:  This one is a whack job that gets some kind of sick pleasure out of embarrassing the father of her baby on television.  Her voice is the most irritating out of all of them.  She does not share a bedroom with her boyfriend, yet she is pregnant with their second baby.  She does not want to marry him, but is happy with him serving as her sperm donor.

Kim:  She is a fame whore, a porn star, and will do just about anything to be famous.  The problem is that she is not good at any of the things she does.  I have seen her attempt at porn and I have two words for her performance: wet noodle.  She is a lousy dancer, a horrible sex star, a selfish sister, a crybaby, and in possession of absolutely no talent. None.

I think Kim’s wedding was fake and Kris Humphries got screwed.  By screwed of course I mean he is a moron.  By moron of course I mean he is a young guy who got caught up in the madness that is the Kardashians and he never had a shot in hell.  Kim used him for yet another 15 minutes.  I’m sure he got screwed better figuratively than he did literally.

I won’t talk about the two younger ones as they are children, and as for Rob, well, get a job son.  He is sweet, and won me over on Dancing With The Stars, but he has a small window of opportunity to turn the good will we feel about him into something.  If he waits too long, he will once again be the lazy brother, who lives off his name and does nothing.

Sidebar:  I have the television on while I’m writing this and I just saw a commercial for Sears, featuring Kim, Kourtenay, Khloe and Kris.  Dear Lord. The voices all together are simply too much for me to handle.  Hearing them whine in unison makes me want to pull my hair out.  By pull my hair out of course I mean pull their extensions out.

The baby talk, the screeching voices, the crying, the staged life for cameras, the insane amount of money they make, all of it is fascinating.  Even more fascinating than the Kardashians being fascinating, is Barbara Walters still working.  I think at 400 years old she should retire.  She is simply too old to be interviewing pop culture fake celebrities.

Now, Betty White is old, but she is fabulous and should never retire.  Ever. Barbara however just looks silly.  Seeing this tiny woman interviewing people is weird.  I grew up with Barbara and looked forward to her specials, but now she just seems out of touch and desperate to look relevant.  She no longer has the appeal she had for so long, and someone needs to tell her.

The Kardashians are annoying, but oddly compelling, so they will never go away.  We live in a Kardashian world and that’s just how it is.  We can mock them, or watch them, or both.  The one thing that can make the Kardashian gang even more annoying, is having to see them talk to Barbara Walters.  I mean no disrespect Ms. Walters, just keeping it real.

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December 19, 2011 | 10:51 pm

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills RECAP – Uncensored

Posted by Ilana Angel

Let me begin by saying this show made me sick tonight.  I am sick of these incredibly self-centered, and ridiculous women.  A man is dead, three children have lost their father, and in my opinion all the RHOBH have a little blood on their hands.  Shame on Bravo for airing this crap fest.  At what point will Bravo take responsibility for the insanity and pull this show? When will they stop treating their loyal viewers like idiots?

We start off this trip to hell with Adrienne gossiping to her husband about Camille so we are all brought up to speed.  Russell was never going to sue Camille and he was never going to sue anyone.  If Camille was so upset about an email from Russell, she should have stayed home.  If they are all so worried about the safety of Taylor, then why uninvite her to the party and potentially put her at risk with her abusive husband?

In the one fun scene during this train wreck, we meet the band for Pandora’s wedding.  Lisa dancing with the wedding planner is cute, Lisa crying into Jiggy is adorable, Lisa wiping her tears on Pandora’s sweater is hilarious, and the bald singer who sings in Spanish is gorgeous. I’m laughing and thinking it’s not going to be so bad, and then it’s over.  The next scene is with Kyle and there is simply nothing appealing about this horrific woman.

Over at Kyle’s, she is getting ready for the party and gets a call from super bored Adrienne, who is stirring the pot. She says Camille “just got” an email from Russell threatening to sue.  Really?  I find it hard to believe Russell sent the email from his trip to Vegas with Taylor.  Adrienne causes all the problems by calling Kyle to say she is not coming, then says she is coming, but might leave early.  Adrienne is out of control.

Kim is having dinner with two of her older kids and they are all laughing at the fact that one of them took too much nighttime cold medicine and fell asleep in the shower.  It’s sad that Kim thought it was funny, however you could see her make a mental note to try it.  The entire exchange with Kim and her kids is awkward.  They obviously do not like her mom’s boyfriend Ken, and it’s weird because clearly we are not getting the full story.

The White Party is beginning and the gang is arriving.  If Kyle did not have such a selfish soul she’d be beautiful.  Brandi comes, without a bra, and looks fabulous.  They went from almost throwing blows last week, to Kyle not wanting to uninvite her.  Really?  She won’t uninvite Brandi who she hates, but will uninvite Taylor who is supposed to be her good friend? Camille should have stayed home. Her coming was the beginning of the end.

Lisa is talking to Kyle and no matter what Lisa says, Kyle makes it about her. What about me?  What about me?  We are supposed to believe Kyle could not reach Taylor by phone?  That is a crock of crap and everyone knows it. Bravo housewives fans might be fanatical and crazy, but they are not idiots. Well, there are quite a few idiots, but overall we not stupid, and we are not buying this imaginary tale.  The writers of this should be fired.

Are these pathetic losers seriously concerned that they are going to get sued by Russell?  Lisa is trying to be compassionate toward Taylor after her weekend together, and Kyle is making it about her.  Again.  What about Kyle and her friendship with Taylor?  Lisa wants to call Taylor and tell her not to come, to avoid any embarrassment, but she can’t reach her.  I want to shove Kyle into a pool of mud in her beautiful white dress.

Kim arrives and she is clearly not herself.  By not herself of course I wean she is high.  Not mellow pot high, but brutal using high.  She is coughing all over Lisa and it’s disgusting.  Kim is a mess and should have been forced from this show immediately.  I cannot stand watching her and find her completely painful.  Everyone seems to have an opinion about Ken, yet everyone says they don’t know him.  It makes no sense.

Dana is there and completely a waste of space. She needs to not be on this show.  Everything about her is silly and a waste of my time.  Kim is still annoyed with Brandi and there is a fight brewing. Kim approaches Brandi and is confrontational, rude, abrasive, and insane.  Brandi handles herself with class and dignity and I like her more each week. Kim insists Kyle is not a bitch, which is proof her drugs make her delusional.

Sidebar:  Was Brandi’s friend the house manager Jennifer Gimenez from Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew?  We never really got a look at her face, but it looked like her.  I love her.  We then cut to Russell and Taylor in the limo ride over and it is shocking.  Taylor is telling him she loves him, and kissing him, and they look like a happy couple.  It’s the strangest scene ever and incredibly unnerving.  I feel so bad for Russell and his family.

It is heartbreaking to see Russell because he seems to have no idea about the crap Taylor has been saying about him.  She clearly was not telling him anything about her stories.  I think we can safely assume this man was not an angel, but I honestly think she pushed him to the limit with her lies. How could he recover from the picture she had painted of him?  How do you come back from hell with the devil living in your house?

Russell and Taylor get to Kyle’s and she runs out with her posse to confront Taylor.  She is fake crying and trying to crack her voice and it’s pathetic. Taylor is in shock and Russell is standing there not sure what is happening. We are watching Taylor getting caught in her web of lies and I can’t help but feel bad for Russell.  He looks ambushed.  He responded to a rumor from Camille and is unaware the rumor was actually from Taylor.

It is a horrible scene.  Everyone is ganging up on Russell and it is so uncomfortable.  Taylor and Russell leave and Kyle runs after them fake crying.  Russell assures her it’s fine and they want to go.  Adrienne is being a busybody and Taylor is correct in saying that Camille should have simply stayed home.  Taylor’s lies are unraveling and you can see her fear.  She looks oddly at peace and it’s very unsettling.

After an hour of watching this slow and painful train ride through hell, I am torn between wanting to take a shower to get the gross off of me, and wanting to go and put flowers on Russell’s grave.  I am seriously surprised and puzzled by so many things this week I don’t know what to do.  Here are my top ten questions from this week’s show, which I am sharing in the hopes that my readers might have some answers for me.

1) Why does Adrienne never brush her hair?
2) Does Adrienne think it is 1986?
3) Is Paul Nassif a little person?
4) Was watching Dana feel up Kim necessary?
5) How old is Jiggy?
6) How long after the White Party did Russell die?
7) Is Adrienne’s stylist blind?
8) Why do we watch this show?
9) Why did Camille go to the party?
10) When will this crapfest be over?

I think the ladies of Atlanta are out of control with their fighting, hating and whoring, and I’m not sure how the new seasons of Orange County and New York will look, but I am certain that the ladies of Beverly Hills should only come back if they are going to get a new cast.  I would like to see Brandi and Lisa return, and all the others need to get canned so we can start fresh.  That ‘s the only shot in hell Bravo has to keep it real.

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December 19, 2011 | 12:56 pm

Real Housewives of Atlanta RECAP

Posted by Ilana Angel

We start this week with Sheree and Phaedra.  Sheree is unhappy with Phaedra’s legal moves and is not very good at hiding her inner witch.  Phaedra is classy, does not get upset, and returns Sheree’s retainer and wishes her well.  Phaedra is a lady and Sheree is an immature baby.

Phaedra is annoyed she never got her retainer until the last minute, but I recall Phaedra telling Sheree she would not charge her.  Sheree is complaining it’s not worth all the trouble for $100.00.  Really?  I bet her kids would like an extra hundred bucks every month. Selfish.

Over at Kim’s she is getting ready to move and she is super annoying.  I really dig Kroy, but Kim is too much.  I don’t think she is particularly entertaining, but there is something compelling.  Her new show will unravel her life and it is too bad she is selling her soul to the reality devil.

Cynthia is hosting an art event and it’s hilarious to see exactly how uneducated these women are.  Sheree says she loves abstract art.  The first art word she could find in the dictionary.  Over with NeNe, she is not a fan of art but thinks 24K is not a bad price.

I love NeNe and think she is the best part of this show, but girlfriend needs to put on a bra.  Cynthia thinks having Marlo, the transvestite hooker, at her event is a seal of approval from Atlanta’s high society.  Cynthia seriously needs to just stop talking. Darling Cynthia, shhhhhhhhh.

Sidebar:  What exactly is the word “AXSTD”?  I am so sick of hearing these women mispronounce the work “ ASKED”.  Can someone please clarify if that is a Southern thing, or simply a moron thing?  Whatever it is, it needs to stop because it makes you sound ridiculous when you say it.

Cynthia and Peter are getting their pictures taken for a “power couple” photo shoot.  Really?  Is she kidding?  Power couple?  Cynthia is getting her makeup done and Peter says he is ready to go.  Cynthia shows Peter the invitation to her agency opening and he immediately bags on it.

He is simply not nice to her.  He is mean and jealous and condescending. She responds to him like a child.  They are irritating to watch.  He is unpleasant and she is too stupid for me to follow with any great interest.  She is begging him for help and he wants nothing to do with her.

Kim is moving and each minute we see this woman is a reminder we should not watch her new show.  Her voice grates on me the same way Sammi from the Jersey Shore irritates me when she calls for Ron. The trip through memory lane of Kim’s townhouse is a waste of time.

Over at NeNe’s, her son Bryson is with her.  He has cut his hair and now looks like a lovely young man. He is a big kid and while he has been a little bit of trouble for NeNe, he seems better now and I like that she has stuck by him through his troubles.  They are funny together.

NeNe is talking to him about sex and good for her.  They are open with each other and it’s sweet.  I hope he finds his way and gets on a career path.  NeNe is good television and it seems like she is not on the show much these days.  That is a shame, and mistake in my opinion.

Kim and the family arrive at their new house and get a tour.  It’s very big and very beautiful.  The main decorating theme is Kim.  There are pictures of her all around the house and it’s a little creepy.  I like how Kim calls everyone Love, but it’s not enough to watch her show.

To clarify, when I say I am not watching her new show, I am totally going to watch her show.  I will watch, and blog, and it will be good.  That said, it will be work, not fun.  I watch a lot of reality television for fun and very little for work.  This one is going to be painful, therefore work not fun.

We see a scene where Kim needs to pump her breasts.  She is on the freeway pumping, while her daughter steers the wheel from the passenger side of the car.  Really?  This is a disgusting display of bad parenting and she could have killed her kids with such recklessness.

Kim is not the first woman to have a baby and her whining and bad choices are out of control.  She is on the fast track to becoming Bethenny, who got her own show and became so unappealing we lost interest.  I can handle Kim in small doses, but not another Bethenny.

Kandi is talking to Jo Dee Messina and it’s awkward.  Kandi is talented but her whoring herself out to make a dollar is just sad.  Vibrators, country music, a clothing store?  Instead of rushing to create an empire, pick a lane and stay in it.  She is all over the place, and a mess.

Cynthia is getting ready for her opening and says she is under pressure because people don’t look at models as being good “business peeper”.  This woman is insanely beautiful.  That’s it.  That’s not all I have to say, just all she is.  Bless her.  Her sister comes over and she is crying again.

If the opening of her business was so important, why was she not there on time?  She should have been there first, welcoming people.  Instead she is whining nobody is there, but even she is not there.  Someone needs to help this girl out and it’s not Peter.  She needs to dump him.

Cynthia finally arrives and is relieved to see people have turned up. Peter is a dick, Kandi is a troublemaker, and Sheree wants us to think there is yet another air conditioning problem in Atlanta, when really it may just be her menopause kicking in, as she’s the only one sweating.

Kim arrives to the party and is immediately accosted by Marlo.  Kim tells us Marlo sleeps with men for money, and is disgusted by the thought.  Too funny.  Pot, meet kettle.  NeNe arrives, looks fabulous, and it’s the first time Kim and NeNe have been in the same place for a very long time.

They are ignoring each other, which is fine because we are focused on Marlo and Kandi.  Marlo is trying to get as much screen time as he is able, and Kandi is calling him out on his crap.  Kandi is a troublemaker.  For someone trying to make America love her, she is not very nice.

Marlo is accusing Kandi of being a Sugar Momma, and saying she has no Big Poppa, which is putting Kim over the edge.  Kim has had it and leaves.  She acts like she is too good for the show that made her, and has moved beyond the women.  She is just like Bethenny and it’s gross.

Kandi is not letting it go and Marlo admits she dates wealthy men and they give her things.  It’s exhausting to watch these women.  None of them are really friends and they are not good enough actresses to make us believe they are.  The night ends with the complete humiliation of Cynthia.

She gets up to speak and thank people.  Her speaking skills are horrible, but that’s not the humiliating part.  She calls up Peter to thank him and share her moment but he’s not there.  He bailed and left her alone.  He is a pig who is going to lose his super hot wife any moment.

I like these women.  Well I like some of them, and others scare the crap out of me.  Their fighting and fake friendships are exhausting and they need to get back to the fun.  I never thought I’d say this, but I’m excited for the return of the ladies of OC.  Time for them to not keep it real.

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December 14, 2011 | 9:12 am

Real Housewives of Atlanta Tuesday Night Bonus RECAP

Posted by Ilana Angel

It’s a bonus episode of the ladies of Atlanta and I am not ashamed to say HOORAY!  I dig these chicks and even though some of them are annoying, they are the most fun to watch of all the housewives train wrecks.  We are taking babies home and heading into court so let the recap begin!

Sheree gets served with papers from her ex Bob.  He wants to not only continue to not pay child support, but also keep her in court for years with some crazy civil lawsuit.  Bob Whitfield is a douchelord, Sheree is freaked out, and Phaedra is simply fabulous, calm, and ready to put Bob in jail.

Sheree has not received child support in three years, yet she is not willing to have Bob arrested.  She is complaining about how unfair the court system is, but when given an option to have the upper hand, she does not want it.  I get that arresting the father of her children is sad, but come on Sheree.

I feel for Sheree, but if she does not want to take control of the situation, she needs to stop complaining about it.  Don’t play the poor me I have no money card, then pretend to build a chateau, and not do anything to get the money owed you.  Bob is a pig, but Sheree is a doormat.  What’s worse?

Kandi is doing her Internet talk show which makes me wonder: How is telling the world your favorite sexual position a good thing for your young daughter? How is it anyone would find a man who cannot speak proper English attractive?  What idiot at Bravo thought this was entertaining?

Charles and Marlo, who are clearly being used as possible new cast members, or perhaps just lightening rods to annoy NeNe, are on the show and they are not cute.  Charles cannot speak English and is a little scary looking, and Marlo seems to think her talent for getting a ball player is God given.

Over at Kim’s, she is taking her insanely perfect and gorgeous baby son home and is once again void of any real emotion or warmth.  Her voice is monotone and when she talks, regardless of what she is saying, she sounds like she is complaining and unhappy.  I’m happy for her but don’t feel any connection.

Cynthia and NeNe are shopping and once again Bravo wants to treat us like we are idiots.  Cynthia is prim and proper and always talking about how she is married and wants to be respectful, yet we are supposed to believe she watched Kandi’s show to learn of favorite sexual positions?

She is telling NeNe about the show with Charles and Marlo, but it would appear that she did not watch it as much as she read the notes that Bravo gave her about the show. NeNe is fabulous, over the whole Charles things, and insists that Charles never got her Hello Kitty.  I love Nene.

Sheree is over at Phaedra’s to pick an outfit to wear to court, where she is going to ask for money, in her Valentino suit, driving her brand new Porsche. Interesting approach.  Phaedra is fabulous television and tells Sheree she can wear Noche but not Dolce.  I love Phaedra and her one-liners.

Listening to her talk about Sheree’s “monster” booty is hilarious.  Phaedra needs to have her own talk show and Sheree needs a reality check.  I have friends who are driving cars that are 10 years old and still waiting for child support, so she is a little offensive.  She needs to decide what she wants.

We can be sympathetic toward her and the fact that her ex-husband is not taking care of his kids, or we can think she is a fame whore who is flashy with her car and chateau.  We are not going to support both so pick a side Sheree.  Chances are we won’t care about either side, but pick one.

I love a good vibrator, but Kandi talking about them on this show is not cute, and pulling them out in a restaurant is not entertaining.  Kandi has a little girl and this storyline makes me sad for her.  Do any of these housewives think about how their choices affect their children?  I’m thinking not so much.

Over at Kim’s she is complaining again.  About everything.  I feel bad for Brielle who is not sure where she fits into the new family, but then she insists the effort starts with an A and I’m over it.  The scene with the washing of the wigs is what Kim’s new show will be, I’ll pass.

Sheree owes Phaedra $5000 as a retainer and she is not paying.  How does this woman have any money at all?  She can pay for a new car but she can’t pay the reduced fee to her friend?  If I had as many secrets as these chicks I would not choose reality television as an option.

It’s court day and we see a nervous Sheree crying while she gets ready.  We also see that her apartment has not a lot of stuff in it.  She is shown driving a new car but has no stand for her television.  How is her kids sleeping on a mattress on the floor, but she has a Birkin?  What is her deal?

Sheree is all a about show.  Shame on her for putting how she looks above how her children live.  It pisses me off.  She needs to send Bob’s ass to jail, get her money, drive a used Honda, and stop crying.  Phaedra calls to give her a pep talk, and she calls her mom for support but can’t reach her.

Kim’s parents come over to visit the baby and it feels weird.  Bravo is setting up their new show and it’s lame.  We are focusing on RHOA so stop force feeding us.  Kim’s show will be about listening to Kim complain, talk about penises and sore vaginas, and picking on Brielle.  Yeah, I’m out.

Over in court, Sheree’s mom surprises her and shows up.  It’s very sweet.  They go in and the madness begins.  Bob looks like a big, dumb ogre and before they even start, Bob hits Sheree with a contempt of court case that she stole things that were to awarded to him in the divorce.

Sheree and Phaedra are blindsided, the case is postponed, and Sheree has no idea what is going on.  Bob leaves and hugs his mother-in-law on the way out and it’s sad. Bob is a loser, who wants to hurt Sheree. He may have gone to Stanford, but he is a douche who is hurting his kids.

That said, one must wonder what Sheree would do with all the child support should she ever get it.  I am disgusted by what appears to be her choices.  Of course I don’t know her, and am basing my opinion on what Bravo shows us, so the truth is up for grabs but it does not seem kosher to me.

Phaedra, Kandi and Sheree are having lunch. Kandi and Sheree are crying, and Phaedra is having none of the blame put on her.  These women are fun, but super fake.  The authenticity of these women made it entertaining but as the truth is revealed, we see none of them are keeping it real

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December 13, 2011 | 9:26 am

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – RECAP

Posted by Ilana Angel

We start off with Taylor and Lisa having lunch at Lisa’s restaurant.  Taylor looks horrible and tells Lisa she can’t remember what happened at Brandi’s party because she was drunk.  Lisa is trying to be a supportive friend, which is weird because they were never friends before.  Taylor has lost the supportive ear of all the other women so of course she turns to Lisa, but I’m surprised Lisa agreed to do it.

Even stranger, is Pandora has invited Taylor to her Bachelorette party in Vegas.  By stranger of course I mean scripted.  It pisses me off when Bravo thinks we are dumb enough to believe this crap.  Lisa calls the Chippendale dancers chipmunks, and when Taylor thanks her for lunch, says she thought Taylor was paying for it.  Hilarious.  I constantly change my mind about Lisa and this week I love her. Shame they are forcing Taylor on her.

DD is over at Camille’s, still in love with her, and Brandi comes over for a visit which makes no sense because Camille lives really far and stopping in for a visit would not happen in Malibu unless it was scripted.  They are rehashing the party, referring to Taylor as needing an exorcism, and Camille defends herself.  Camille does not need to defend herself, she did nothing wrong. DD however, needs to shut the hell up. Who cares about DD?

Camille is gorgeous, Brandi is fun, and the editing is laughable.  Taylor just sat with Lisa for the first time, yet Camille says Lisa and Taylor are now good friends.  So lame.  Adrienne and Paul are off to tape a show together and their bickering is ridiculous.  It was cute in the beginning, but is now just silly.  Adrienne is a bitch, does not like Paul, and you have to wonder what is so great about her that Paul stays for the constant public humiliation.

Kyle is shopping with Faye Resnick and it’s annoying.  Why the hell do we have to constantly see Faye?  Bravo would be hard pressed to find a fan of hers. Does anyone like her? Lisa is shopping for wedding dresses with Pandora and it’s sweet.  Watching Lisa see the dresses is lovely.  Sadly she is once again wearing a dress that is too small and cannot walk in her heels, but still, she is likable this week and she has a fan in me.  For now.

In Vegas, Camille is showing off the penthouse of the Palms and it’s stupid because everyone is so impressed, but we’ve seen it a million times, for a million years.  Brandi and Dana arrive and Kim, as usual, bails with a phone call.  Lisa and the bachelorette party have also arrived and are staying at the Hard Rock.  Given the choice, I would stay there over the Palms too. Lisa’s suite is much nicer than the tackiness of The Palms.

Kyle bailed on Vegas so she could shoot the cover of her book.  A book she wrote about her life and passions.  Seriously?  Who cares about what Kyle Richards has to say about fashion and kids?  Is there a chapter about how to be a selfish sister who only cares about herself?  Is there a chapter about being a fame whore who has calluses from desperately hanging onto the coattails of your sisters and niece?  I’m guessing not.

Back in Vegas, Brandi, Camille, Dana and Adrianne are together and we are reminded that Dana is the most obnoxious and boring women they have ever shoved down our throats.  They better no bring this chick back.  I have interviewed her and she was fun, but it does not translate and she brings nothing to this show. Plus her fiancé is a jackass so I imagine his karma is part of her undoing.  Take care Dana.  It’s been boring.

It’s time for the Chippendale dancers and that is worth the price of admission.  These are some seriously attractive men and yet I am distracted by the size of Taylor’s mouth.  It is massive.  Lisa is thoroughly enjoying the show even though Taylor is annoying her.  The other girls go dancing and Brandi and Camille are having a blast together while poor DD is forced to watch the only person she will ever really love grind on someone else.

Kyle is shopping with her mother-in-law and “runs into” Kim.  We have not seen Kim forever, and when we do she is wasted, so it’s random.  Kim and Kyle sit to talk and Kim shares that her new relationship is not being accepted by her children and she is broken.  She is crying and clearly distraught, and Kyle is a cold bitch.  She is not supportive or comforting.  Her sister is crying and instead of hugging her, Kyle wants to talk about her weight.

It is heartbreaking to see Kim this way and I want to comfort her, but I want to kick Kyle more.  She is making this about her, not her sister.  Kim is falling apart and Kyle is trying to make herself cry.  Kim is lonely and asks Kyle for help, and Kyle is too concerned with the camera angles to help her. I am embarrassed for Kyle and mortified for Kim.  We have heard that she is now in rehab, which is good, but sad because she is probably alone.

We are shown a clip from next week and in 10 seconds I am left incredibly uncomfortable.  It is the white party and Taylor is told she cannot come in because Russell was not invited.  His face clearly tells us that he knew nothing about the things Taylor was saying about him.  The story of Russell and Taylor will all come out and we will see Taylor is hiding more than she is sharing. Time for Taylor to start keeping it real.

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