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December 21, 2010

Moms Who Irk Me

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/moms_who_irk_me/

I am not a perfect mother, nor do I claim to be.  Still, some mothers irk me.  They really irk me.  Do I have the right to judge?  Probably not.  But will I?  Of course.

First off, mothers who nurse in public restrooms bother me.  I am just curious.  Do these same mothers that feed their children in public restrooms also eat in public restrooms themselves.  If not, they should really try it some time. Grab your PB and J or side salad and Café latte and eat it in the public restroom of your choice.  Like the mom I noticed in the Macy’s bathroom the other day.  (Thank you for inspiring this story by the way.)  She was eating a sandwich and sipping a soda in a crowded extremely dirty public restroom while nursing her child.  The two of them were lunching together. 

Perhaps it is quite delightful to be surrounded by the smell of cheap pine scent barely masking the stench of the excretion of bodily functions.  Who knows?  I just assume that if I can not even stand using a public restroom for its original purpose, that eating in one probably would not work for me, or my child.

But I see no reason to stop nursing your child in a germ-filled pine-scented (not to mention other scents) space, if you do it yourself.  In fact the sound of simultaneous flushing toilets may be soothing.  Right?  And no it does not make a difference if you are sitting just past the hand dryers on a comfy couch or chair surrounded by lighted mirrors and chandeliers hanging from the ceiling.  You are still in the restroom.  You might as well nurse on the toilet.

But I have been told, “don’t knock it, ‘til you try it,” and I haven’t tried it.

Along with restroom feeding moms, I also despise mothers who leash their kids.  (Even dogs should be free of their leashes.)  I don’t care if the leash is attached to a cuddly teddy bear on their backs or chained around their necks to a spiked dog collar (or child collar).  A leash is a leash.  And mothers who would argue with me should really try it some time.  Next time you are out with your husband/significant other/lover/date/partner/(insert politically correct noun here), have him/her/them hold one end of the leash while you wear the cuddly teddy bear backpack on your end or back, rather, and go about your date.  If it feels good to you, then by all means, continue to leash your child.  By the way, whatever happened to hand-holding?

What about the baby-

suffocating

covering moms?  You know the type.  The ones that cover their infants’ car seat with a blanket to block out

oxygen

light.  Have they heard of the saying “sleep like a baby.”  Babies really don’t need darkness to sleep in.  In fact, aren’t children afraid of the dark?  After this experience, they may equate darkness with suffocation.  I’m just saying.  Did these moms notice it is harder for the baby to breathe?  (There are some moms who make sure there is an opening for air flow.  These are not the moms I am talking about.)  I wonder if Mom wears a blanket over her face while she naps.

I could go on and on, but I won’t.  If it works for these moms because they have tried it themselves, I have no problem with it (as long as it is not hurting their child).  I will now be on the lookout for moms wearing teddy bear backpacks attached to their partners by a leash.  You moms I will excuse.  And to the Macy’s Mom lunching with her newborn (Yuck.)  You are excused, as well.  But maybe I shouldn’t knock it, until I try it.  Nah.

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