Jewish Journal


September 14, 2009

Me Me Me


I envy those that think of themselves first.  There, I said it!  You know?  Someone who looks out for number one, not thinking about number two. Now, there’s a difference when you don’t have a number two in your life, and then of course you are looking out for you and you alone.  Are you following?

I know someone who does this with great ease.  She gets up in the morning and it’s all about her, all day, every day (and no, this person isn’t me).  I envy her.  Why?  Her biggest worries are what she is going to do, wear, and eat.  She has a number two in her life and in fact, a number three and four and a huge extended family, but it’s all about her.

I envy Mrs. #1 because her life is simple and okay, a little materialistic, and 100% selfish.  It’s not that I want to BE her or even be like her for that matter, but what intrigues me is how carefree a person like this can actually be.  Between Botox and teeth whitening appointments, she doesn’t really know what to do most of the time (and no, there is nothing wrong with caring for oneself, unless it becomes a little obsessive).  In fact, she often forgets that there is a family she has to take care of.  I envy the way there is never a care on her mind, even in the greatest of struggles and family dysfunction.  The gym?  Not for this lady.  Too much effort, and why?  There is always corrective surgeries and girdles to hide those extra inches or wrinkles.

I am the last person I think about after errands, deadlines, son’s activity schedule, chores, and hubby’s errands, deadlines, schedule and chores.  Then, I come in.  And by the time I do, I’m too tired to think about me.

Although I envy a carefree all-about-me lifestyle, I would never want one.  I couldn’t imagine life without my family and caring for them. I need deadlines, traffic jams, fleeting creative ideas and those that stick.  I couldn’t imagine life without love and pursuing what I love. 

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