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Jewish Journal

Single Again

by Mihal Levy

October 20, 2009 | 1:45 pm

I’m living the single life again…vicariously through my friends.  Just for the record, I’m still married…happily married.

As of recent, I have become the go-to person for advice on love and dating.  Although I am flattered, I can hardly say I’m an expert.  It seems as though single friends look at their married friends as heroes.  If she did it, so can I, right?  And married women look at their single friends as a reminder of the days that they are glad are far behind them, but have to admit it was fun, now looking back in retrospect of course.

Recently, I’ve been on bad dates, good dates, mediocre will-he-call-again dates, and downright what was I thinking dates (figuratively speaking, of course).  I remember those days, so I give my advice with the following disclaimer:  the advice herein given by moi, a married woman, is given as an opinion influenced by my memory (which often fades me) of dating and biased by my own past experiences and those experiences of others close to me.

I love talking to my single friends, because there is always so much to worry about.  “Will he call?” “Should I be myself?”  “Should I just wait.”  Yes, yes and yes.  He WILL call, if it is meant to be.  You should always be yourself.  And, of course you should wait, how can you fast forward anything but a gadget connected to your television.  Wait and see if this is it, if not…next.  (Of course, this is not all so clear or so easy to deal with when you are single.)

Then there is always the friend dealing with, what I now call “Summer Syndrome”.  If you have seen Five Hundred Days of Summer, you will know what I am talking about.  It is the guy or girl (like Summer in the movie) that sticks around and can not give a secure yes or no, only maybes.  “It’s not you…”  Which to anyone other than the person dating this person with Summer Syndrome, it is quite obvious that this relationship will never be, but do you blame the one smitten by this guy or gal?  They keep giving them reasons to hang on…until someone better comes along?  When you meet someone with this syndrome, ask for the check, even if you haven’t finished eating.

But, it is not all that bad.  I tell my single friends to enjoy their “single life,” instead of worrying so much about when it will end.  You get to go out and meet different people, go to different places, go dancing, happy hour-ing, Starbucks-ing and casual conversation-ing.  Before you know it, you will be searching for available babysitters, finding yourself actually enjoying places like Chuck E. Cheese and playgrounds, and loving the time spent with your hubby ordering in and Netflix-ing close to midnight when the kids are asleep and… living vicariously through your single friends.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Mihal Levy used to collect degrees as a hobby.  After receiving her B.S. and M.S. degrees, she worked as a psychotherapist and research scientist before continuing her hobby of...

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